Swoon
by RoseRae2013
Summary: Nathan Scott doesn't do relationships. As a senior in college, he has yet to notice Haley James, but when he finally does he's hooked. He can't quite explain it, but she's the first girl to give him a challenge, and he likes it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters.

**So here's the first chapter of my new story. For those of you who have been waiting, sorry I didn't get it up when I said I would. I've been sick all weekend, and the medicine the doctor gave me isn't exactly helping me as it should be. But anyways, please read and review. First chapter's always the most important in that sense because it lets me know who would like to see this story continued. I've had a blast writing the first couple of chapters so far, so let me know! Thanks.**

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Nathan Scott awoke with a start as Britney Spears's "…Baby One More Time" began to resonate off the walls of his dorm room. He sat up quickly wondering why the hell that God-awful song was blaring and waking him up at seven o'clock in the morning when classes hadn't even started yet. He looked around frantically as his ears began to ring. Damn, that chick definitely did not have the voice of an angel, and that was sugarcoating it. Finally, after a fruitless thirty second search, his eyes found the culprit of madness. There was a pink, bejeweled cell phone sitting on the table beside his bed. His thoughts were clouded only with how horrible that sound was and how badly he wished it would stop, so he grabbed the foreign phone and threw it as hard as he could against the wall opposite him. As soon as it came in contact with the wall, it shattered, and the devil voice stopped. Nathan placed both hands at his temples and rubbed slow circles over them, trying to rid himself of the horrendous headache he now had. Not only had he consumed what could only be described as all of the alcohol in North Carolina last night, but he had been woken in the unholiest of ways. What had he done to deserve this? He was just a college student trying to have some fun and sleep in before classes started next week. Was that really too much to ask? He placed his hands on the bed behind him and tried to move his feet over the side to sit on the floor. Then, and only then, did he notice the girl blocking his way. She was naked. He looked down at himself and realized he, too, had no clothes on. With another quick glance at the lucky girl, he smirked. She was definitely hot. He felt something stir on the other side of him and turned to find another unclothed girl fast asleep.

"Sweet score, Scott," he mumbled to himself with a satisfied smirk plastered on his face. It lasted for about two seconds before the headache came back, and he tried to move off the bed again. Unfortunately, he pushed a bit hard, and as he stood the girl on that edge of his bed was dumped to the floor with a loud thud. He couldn't control his laughter as he walked to the other side of the room to pick up his boxers. He slipped them on quickly, trying and failing to contain his laughter.

He watched the girl sit up against the bed, rubbing her head in the place where there was sure to be a prominent bump the next day. When she saw him, her face turned hard as she shot him a glare. "What the hell was that, Nathan?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he plastered the most innocent look he could muster on his face. "I think you fell, sweetheart. What was your name again, dear?"

As she stood up and began gathering her clothes, he received another glare that only caused him to chuckle. "Amy," she answered curtly as she pulled her panties up her legs.

"Amy," he said slowly, placing a finger on his chin. "Yep, not ringing any bells. Can you hurry up and leave? I've got shit to do." He snapped his fingers for extra effect.

When he remembered that there was another girl in his bed, Nathan sauntered over to her and shook her arm roughly. She jumped when she felt his fingers on her and gave him a sleazy smile. "Hey, hot stuff," she greeted him.

"Who are you again?" he asked, honestly trying to remember. After all, he had been hammered. What did they expect?

This girl looked extremely disappointed. They both turned to watch Amy leave the room and slam the door before the naked girl on the bed answered his question. "Stephanie."

"Yeah, I'm going to need you to leave," he said quickly, pointing behind him to the door.

She furrowed her brow and looked over to the table beside his bed. "Where the hell is my phone?"

"Oh, your phone? Is that the one with the Britney Spears song that all other twenty-year-old girls stopped listening to when they were ten? Yeah, it's on the floor over there. I kind of smashed it, seeing as it made me want to commit suicide. Now, please, if you could get a move on." Nathan sighed impatiently. Some people seriously were so selfish. Did they think he had no life and nothing to do on a Saturday? They couldn't be more wrong.

"Ugh, you're a jackass," she mumbled as she got up and gathered her clothes.

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "And you're a whore. But hey, who am I to judge?"

She rolled her eyes and finished getting dressed. As she made it to the door, Nathan picked up her phone and tossed it at her. "Don't forget your phone, cutie."

Once they were both gone, Nathan chuckled quietly and then grabbed a towel so he could grab a quick shower. Without a doubt, his favorite thing about going to Duke and living in this particular dorm was the coed bathrooms. He couldn't even keep up with how many women he had met in the bathrooms after coming out of the shower. It was easy, really. They all bowed down to him here, not only because of his incredible skills on the basketball court but also because of his seemingly holy appearance. He was definitely a looker, and every girl clawed and bit at the chance to say she had been under Nathan Scott. And most of them had.

He threw his towel over his shoulder and made his way out of the room in only his boxers. The closest bathroom was just down the hall, so it took him all of about ten seconds to reach it. He pushed open the door and took a quick glance around, searching for any new faces and hot bodies. He ignored all the men in the room, and the only girl he could see was pretty homely so he decided to just get on with his shower. He found an empty stall and stepped inside, closing the curtain. He moved quickly, as he usually did, and was done in about five minutes. He turned the water off, wrapped the towel around his waist, and stepped out of the stall, boxers in hand. Just as he was turning to leave, the curtain on the stall next to his flew open, and a woman who could only be described as a goddess stepped out of it.

Nathan openly checked her out, as he always did, and he wasn't ashamed of it, nor would he ever be. She was short, had to be at least a foot shorter than his 6'2", he guessed. She held the beige towel up before securing it so she could let go without risking her entire body being revealed accidentally. His eyes started at her feet and ran up her legs until his eyes hit the towel. He skipped up past the color of beige, and his eyes found her cleavage. He could already feel his mouth watering, but he forced himself to continue his gaze. He appraised her neck, her shoulders, her tiny hands, and her arms before finally making it to her face. She had the most soulful eyes he'd ever seen, and without even having put her makeup on yet she was gorgeous. He'd never met someone with such staggering natural beauty before. Her long honey blonde hair was all pushed to one side and over the front of her shoulder, obviously still wet from her shower. He could honestly say that this woman was beautiful, and that was a word not usually permitted in Nathan Scott's vocabulary.

Before she had a chance to gather her things and go, Nathan stepped dangerously close to her and offered her a hand. "Nathan Scott."

She looked up at the stranger standing only about a foot away from her and raised an eyebrow. Not wishing to be rude, she accepted his hand and shook it but didn't offer her name. Was he hot? Yes. Did he have a damn fantastic body? Of course. But she knew who Nathan Scott was, and she had heard countless times about how he operated with women. She wasn't looking to be somebody's one night stand.

When she didn't say anything, Nathan furrowed his brow. He couldn't help but notice that she had dropped his hand pretty quickly. "And you are?" he tried again.

Grabbing her shower bag from inside the stall, she looked up at him with only the hint of a smile on her face. "Not your type," she finished for him before pushing her way past him and out of the bathroom.

Nathan stood wide-eyed for a good ten minutes after she left. What the hell had just happened? That did not happen to Nathan Scott. Not in high school and damn sure not in college. And why hadn't he seen her before? She definitely did not look like a freshman; besides, their dorms were located across campus. She had to be a senior in this dorm anyways. Was she a transfer? Shaking his head in disbelief, he finally made his way out of the bathroom and back to his dorm. When he returned he saw his brother, Lucas, sitting on the floor reading a book by some Steinback or Steinbock guy.

He quickly changed into a pair of khaki shorts and a red polo before addressing his brother who appeared to be in deep thought. "Dude, you will not believe what just happened." He took a seat on the edge of his bed.

Lucas looked up, finally closing his book as he stood to take a seat on his own bed. "What, you had sex in the coed bathroom…again?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I wish," Nathan mumbled. "No, it's…there was this girl. I totally introduced myself and checked her out, and she said she wasn't my type. She wouldn't even tell me her name. What the fuck is that about?"

His brother rolled his eyes. "Well, you do have a bit of a reputation, you know. And contrary to popular belief, not _every _girl on the planet has a life goal which includes sleeping with you, little brother."

"But that's never happened to me before," Nathan answered.

Lucas laughed and got up, smacking his brother on the arm with the Steinbeck book he had just been reading. "I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there's a first time for everything, bro."

He just couldn't wrap his head around it. He wasn't trying to be conceited or self-centered, but it had shocked him. She was probably the most breathtaking creature he had ever laid eyes on, and she had shot him down like it was nothing. Did she think she was too good for him? He had to find out who she was, if only to ask her what the hell she was thinking. Besides he'd be crazy to pass on that fine piece of ass.

For lunch, Nathan and Lucas went to the campus café they dined in every day. It was never very busy at the time they went; it wasn't exactly the hot spot on campus. They sat across from each other in a booth chowing down on their burgers like no tomorrow when Nathan almost choked on the bite in his mouth. He quickly swallowed and took a sip of his water.

"Dude, are you okay?" Lucas asked after swallowing a bite of his own food.

"Oh, my God, Luke. That's her," his brother said in a hushed whisper. "That's the girl from the shower this morning." He placed a hand over the side of his face so she couldn't see him.

"What are you doing?" his brother questioned.

Nathan sighed as if it were the most obvious think in the world. "Um, I've protecting my cover before I go in again."

"Wait, which girl are you talking about?"

"The one with the red sweater," Nathan clarified. She was with two other girls who were also good-looking, but for some reason he didn't seem to notice much. When he heard his brother begin to laugh loudly, he looked up confused. "What the hell are you laughing at?"

Lucas shook his head and swallowed a bite. "Your shower girl has been in my English classes for the past three years. I know her."

"Wait, she's been here for the past three years?" Nathan questioned in disbelief. "How did I not notice her?"

Lucas shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you were too busy fucking everything that moves and focusing on basketball."

Nathan glared at his brother. "Okay, I'm going in. Don't follow me; I'll look like a tool."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Lucas muttered sarcastically.

The group of girls was sitting down now, but he saw the shower girl get up and move across the café towards another table. He stood up immediately and walked over to her. "Hey," he said once he was right beside her.

She jumped slightly, which made him smile. When she saw him, she furrowed her brow. "Didn't I tell you not to talk to me?"

Nathan pretended to think for a moment. "I don't recall those words, no. What's your name?"

"Does it matter?" she mumbled as she grabbed a bottle of catsup off of a table without customers. "You wouldn't remember it if anything happened between us."

So she had heard about him. That could potentially be a good thing, but he was thinking with the way she kept pushing him away maybe she was different. Maybe the thought of a wild night underneath Nathan Scott didn't enthrall her like it did every other chick on campus. The thought puzzled him. "Are you saying something is going to happen between us?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Look, I came here with friends so if you don't mind I'd like to get back to them." She tried to maneuver around him, but he kept moving in front of her. "What are we, in seventh grade now?" she asked, frustrated.

He smirked. "Well, if that's what it takes. What'd you come over here for anyways?"

She dangled the catsup bottle in front of his face. "I like catsup on my fries, and the bottle at our table is empty. I know you're an ass, but I don't believe you're really that dense so drop the act."

"There is no act, baby. Tell me your name."

"You did not just call me baby," she muttered agitatedly.

He smirked. "Why, does it turn you on?"

She let out a long sigh and put her free hand on her hip.

"Make you hot?" he teased a second time, his smirk only growing as he saw a blush cover her cheeks. He had never seen anything so sexy in his entire life.

She was getting nervous now. She hated being put on the spot like that. "Once again, I do have a life to get back to, so if you would just move that would be great."

"Not until you tell me your name," he said stubbornly.

"And why do you need to know my name so badly, huh?" she pushed.

Nathan shrugged innocently. "I'd like to know the name of the new subject of my sexual fantasies." He saw her blush again.

Recovering quickly from her slip-up, she looked up at him again. "Damn, you really know how to make a girl feel special," she said sarcastically. "How many girls have you used that one on?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he answered, "I've never had to ask a sexy girl her name more than once, baby. This is a first for me."

"You want another first?" she suggested with a raised eyebrow.

He smirked again and stepped closer to her. "Are you trying to talk dirty to me, shower girl?"

Without hesitation, her hand flew up to smack him across the cheek. She was shocked at herself for even doing it, but it also made her feel kind of good. "There's your first."

Rubbing his cheek, he looked at her beautiful face once again. "So you like it rough, huh?" he asked with a chuckle.

She rolled her eyes and used the lack of distance between them to push past him. "Perv," she called, turning around only to stick her tongue out at him. As she made her way back to her friends she couldn't help but think how much fun that had been. Yeah, he was a jackass, but their banter was fun. And although she'd never admit it to him, she had been a little turned on.

Nathan made his way back to the booth to find Lucas laughing hysterically. "Shut up," he muttered as he fell back into his seat.

"Nice going, Nate," Lucas commented, attempting to stifle his laughter. "I mean, I think she's really into you."

"Shut up," Nathan repeated.

Lucas stole a glance at the girl's table and couldn't help but let his eyes linger on a certain brunette he'd never seen before. He was snapped out of his trance when he felt his brother's fist sock him in the arm. "What the hell?" He rubbed his arm with his other hand, glaring at his brother.

"You have to help me," Nathan said. "You know her. What's she like?"

Lucas sighed and rolled his eyes. "She's not like your other girls, Nate. She has standards and morals that, and correct me if I'm wrong here, you don't quite meet. She's into long-term, and we both know that is not your style."

Nathan raised an eyebrow and stuck his hand out towards his brother. "I guarantee you I will have tapped that by this time next week."

Reluctantly, Lucas shook his hand. "It's your bet to lose, man."

"Oh, I'll be winning the bet," Nathan replied. He smiled as he looked back at her table and saw her give him the finger. He winked at her and then turned around to face Lucas again. "I get her fired up, and obviously she thinks I'm hot."

"Obviously?"

"Come on, Luke. I'm me."

Lucas stood up and placed some money on the table. "All I'm saying is she's not going to fall for your bullshit, so you better come up with a new game plan. And for it to work on that girl, it had better be damn good."

Nathan stood and grabbed his brother's arm as he turned to leave. "What's her name?" he asked.

Not being able to help himself, Lucas busted out laughing again. "She didn't even tell you her name?"

"Just tell me," Nathan gritted out.

Yanking his arm away, Lucas took a few steps back. "Hey, that's her business. If she wants you to know her name, she can tell you. I've got to run." Before his brother had a chance to say anything more, he made his way out of the café.

Nathan sighed and turned around looking at her table again. He didn't know what it was about this chick, but he just could not keep his eyes off of her. She was sexy as hell, and he loved that she was making him chase her. But if there was one thing Nathan Scott was good at, besides basketball, it was getting girls into his bed. Usually it was easy; he didn't even have to snap his fingers, and girls lined up to sleep with him. They clearly didn't care about only being a one night stand because they all knew Nathan wasn't into anything more.

Looking up, she caught his eye again, wondering why he wouldn't just stop staring at her. She blushed, not being able to help herself, and then mentally reprimanded herself for doing so. He was Nathan Scott, and even though he was hot he had a reputation. She could not get involved with someone like that; she was busy enough. He held her gaze for a good ten seconds, but she was sure he'd taken notice of the reddish hue on her cheeks so she looked away. Popping a fry into her mouth, she tried to get back into the conversation her friends were having but found it hard to do so.

With a smile, Nathan left the café and walked slowly back to his dorm room. This was going to get interesting.

Ten hours later Nathan and Lucas walked into a large house just off campus, realizing that the party had indeed started without them. Girls were immediately by their sides, clinging onto their arms mercilessly. It was annoying sometimes, but Nathan didn't mind it half as much as his brother did. Lucas was the more serious sibling and wouldn't mind having a steady girlfriend. He simply hadn't been able to locate the right girl yet.

"I need a drink," Nathan proclaimed, brushing the girls off his arms. He pushed his way through the crowd and to the kitchen, where he found a magnanimous stash of beer. He grabbed one, popped the top off, and took a large swig. Parties were his thing, but it usually took a few beers before he was ready to bring a girl back to his dorm.

Nathan finished the drink rather quickly, and after dropping it into the trash he grabbed another one. As he started nursing it, he waltzed back into the living room looking for Lucas. When he spotted him, he almost choked on his beer. There was his brother, standing next to his shower girl and her friends from the café. They were all laughing and seemed to be having a jolly good time. For some unknown reason the sight made his stomach lurch, but he also couldn't help but notice how hot his girl looked. She wore tight-fitting skinny jeans, a sparkly black halter top, and red high heels. His eyes ran up and down her body, just as they had done in the coed bathroom that morning, but they rested on her ass. Her back was turned to him, and he had the perfect view. God, she had an amazing ass.

He spent another couple minutes ogling her before finally deciding it was time to find out her name. He chugged the rest of his beer and set the empty bottle on a nearby table before making his way over to the small circle. "Hey, big brother," he greeted, placing a hand on Lucas's shoulder. "How's it going, ladies?" He noticed his shower girl roll her eyes, and for a moment he let his eyes linger on her small amount of exposed cleavage. He offered his hand to the other two girls who shook them politely. "Nathan Scott."

The brunette Lucas had been eyeing at the café shook his hand first and offered her own name. "Brooke Davis."

The blonde on the other side of Nathan's shower girl shook his hand next, gripping it much harder than Brooke had. She gave him a slight glare before stating her name. "Peyton Sawyer."

Nathan smiled. "It's very nice to meet you two. And who is your lovely friend?" he asked with a smirk, holding his hand out to his girl in the middle.

Rolling her eyes at him again, she refused to take his hand. "Fair enough," he muttered, retracting the limb.

"You know what?" Brooke spoke up. "I would love a drink. Lucas, how about you come with me?" She had definitely noticed the way he'd been looking at her, but he seemed a little reserved. She was totally prepared to help him out of his shell.

Lucas smiled genuinely and linked arms with her. "Why, I would love nothing more." The two walked away towards the kitchen, leaving a very awkward group of three standing in the living room.

"Oh, gee, look at the time," Peyton said, looking at an imaginary watch on her left wrist. Truthfully she didn't want to leave her friend alone with him, but the awkward sexual tension was just too much for her to bear. She had come to this party to have fun before classes started, and that's what she intended to do. Before her friend had time to protest, she quickly walked away.

Nathan smiled and took a step closer to his shower girl so that she could hear him over the music. "Fancy meeting you here," he observed. She ignored him, so he tried again. "Can I get you a drink?"

"I don't drink," she replied vaguely, looking around the room. There had to be someone else she knew nearby for her to hang out with.

"You don't drink?" he questioned incredulously. "What the hell do you do?"

"You know, as much fun as this is, I need to pee." She pushed him out of her way and walked quickly to the stairs.

With a smirk, he followed her up the stairs quietly. He saw her enter a bedroom and waited a moment before opening the door and slipping inside.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked loudly.

"Me? What the hell are you doing? I thought you had to pee."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Or maybe I just didn't want to talk to you, since you seem to be following me everywhere I go like some kind of freaking stalker."

Nathan chuckled and shook his head, placing his hands in his jean pockets. "Slow down, girl. I am not a stalker, and I haven't been following you." He stepped closer to her so that their chests were almost touching. He reached up with one hand and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "We just happen to see each other everywhere we go. Some people call that fate."

"And I call it bad luck," she retorted, stepping away from him. She tried to stop the blush from coming to her cheeks and the tingling she felt at his touch but found it nearly impossible to do so.

"You're feisty," he observed with a smile. Instead of getting closer to her again he chose to keep his distance. "I like that." She ignored him yet again, and he sighed. "Just tell me your name, beautiful."

"Careful, that word has more than two syllables," she warned him. "I wouldn't want you to strain yourself."

His eyebrows knit together. "You think you know me, but you don't. Just because you've heard things doesn't mean that they're true."

She raised an eyebrow. "No?" she challenged. "So it isn't true that you get drunk, screw a different whore every night, and never call them again?" He didn't say anything. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Look, I don't mean to be a bitch, but you're wasting your time. I don't sleep around, and even if I did I'm not interested in picking up any STDs, okay? I have enough respect for myself not to knowingly enter into something that I know isn't going anywhere."

Nathan sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Who says I even want to sleep with you?"

She quirked an eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips. "You don't want to sleep with me?" she questioned.

"Okay, I'm not going to lie to you," he answered. "Yes, I want to sleep with you. I would love to have sex with you right here, right now. Your body is…fuck, it's amazing. But I'm not expecting anything. I saw you for the first time this morning, and something inside me just snapped. You should know that I have never before in my life called a girl beautiful until today."

"Is that supposed to make me feel good?"

He shrugged. "I don't know what it's supposed to do. All I know is that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you all damn day. Usually when a girl rejects me I just move on to the next one. But when I came into this party and girls were all over me I didn't even want to look at them. That's never happened to me before."

"You've only known me for a day, Nathan," she answered quietly. "In fact, you really don't even know me at all. So just let it go. You go back to your life, and I'll go back to mine. It's not like anything's happened between us."

Nathan stepped closer to her and was relieved when this time, she didn't move away. "But I want to know you," he whispered.

She closed her eyes briefly and bit her lip. "Why?" she asked as she reopened her eyes.

He let out a short sigh and brought a hand up to her face. As he spoke, he ran his thumb over her cheek softly. "Because you make me feel things I've never felt before. When I see you my heart starts beating faster, and I have no way to explain it. Your presence is staggering."

No way was Nathan Scott making her feel like a crushed out schoolgirl. He was Nathan Scott, for God's sake. He was a player, and the things he was saying were probably just lines to get her into bed, right? So why didn't she want him to stop? And why was her heart racing, too? "Haley," she breathed.

"What?" he inquired confusedly.

"My…my name…it's Haley," she stuttered. "Haley James."

Nathan smiled. "Haley James," he repeated, loving the way the syllables rolled off his tongue.

She had to regain some control. She took a step back from him. "This doesn't mean anything," she swore, more to herself than to Nathan.

"Of course not," he answered with a smile. "So, Haley James, will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

What's the worst that could happen? She could control herself around him, right? Maybe if she gave him a chance he'd turn out to be a better guy than she'd given him credit for. After all, seeing the good in people did have its perks. "Okay," she answered.

Nathan made his way to the bedroom door and opened it. Turning back to her with a smile, he said, "See you then, Haley James." He just couldn't get enough of saying her name. He swore he had never heard a more beautiful name in his life and never would again. It was perfect, just like she was.


	2. Chapter 2

"Brooke, I _cannot _wear that," Haley exclaimed, looking up from her seat on the edge of the bed. Her best friend was standing by her closet holding up a strapless red dress that was so short it hardly left anything to the imagination. There was no way she could wear something so revealing on her first date with Nathan. She wasn't even sure if it classified as a date, and she had no idea where they were even going. What if she was extremely overdressed? She should probably just wear jeans and a t-shirt.

Haley couldn't even believe she had agreed to go out with the jerk. It was clear that all he wanted was sex, but she figured as long as she knew she wasn't going to give him any there was no harm in it. And she wasn't quite sure what had happened with him at that party the previous evening, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know. He had seemed like a sweet guy whose intentions were pure, and she knew that was a lie. He was Nathan Scott. But somehow he'd gotten her to fall for his charms, and she had stupidly accepted his offer to take her out. She knew the relationship, if you could call it that, wasn't going to go anywhere. In fact, as soon as she and Brooke had returned to their dorm room after the party, she'd decided she wasn't going to go. But Brooke, being the overzealous and flirty character that she was, talked her into it.

Brooke rolled her eyes and walked over to her friend, tossing the dress on the bed beside her. "You're wearing it."

"Brooke, no," Haley protested again. "It is way too short; you can see everything!"

"Haley, you shouldn't have things in your closet that you're never planning on wearing," Brooke retorted. "It's a waste of space."

Haley crossed her arms over her chest on the bed and quirked a brow. "If I remember correctly, _you're _the one who snuck into my closet and planted about thirty atrociously slutty outfits not too long ago."

A sickeningly innocent look came across Brooke's face. "Someone had to do it, Tutor Girl. You dress like a freaking nun half of the time. I know you're all into like waiting for the right guy and not being a whore, but I think you've taken it a little too far. It's okay to have a little fun every once in a while. Besides, just because they can look doesn't mean they can touch." She winked.

With a deep sigh, Haley flopped back onto the bed. "You're going to make me wear it, aren't you?" she groaned.

"Yep," Brooke answered chirpily. "It won't kill you, I promise. And while you're getting dressed, you can explain to me what happened with Boy Toy yesterday."

Reluctantly, Haley stood up and yanked the dress from its hanger. "Stop calling him that," she said with a grimace.

Brooke waved her hand in front of her as she took a seat on the bed. "Out with it!"

Haley couldn't help but to laugh. Brooke was so entertaining sometimes. She pulled her shirt over her head and then got her jeans off as well. She couldn't believe she was going to wear that in front of Nathan Scott, or any man for that matter. It was completely inappropriate. In all actuality, she knew it wasn't that bad, but she was nervous as hell and had to occupy her thoughts with something. As she took her bra off and replaced it with a strapless one, she began to speak. "Nothing really happened, Brooke. We both got out of the shower at the same time."

Brooke interrupted her to say, "I _love _these coed bathrooms!"

"So as I was saying," Haley continued, "we both got out of the shower at the same time, and before you ask we both had towels on. No nudity was involved. He introduced himself, and I made some comment about him not being my type and left."

"Haley, this is Nathan Scott we're talking about. Are you insane?" Brooke commented. "Every single girl in this school would kill to even be noticed by him. No one blows him off."

Haley shrugged indifferently as she pulled the dress up over her body. "Well, I'm not like every single girl in this school. You should know that by now, Brookie. Anyways, then you know I saw him at the café at lunch. And he continued to make stupid, derogatory comments, so I continued to blow them off. And then again, as you know, he was at the party. After you and Peyton ditched me," she said, throwing Brooke a glare, "I went upstairs to one of the bedrooms to be alone, and he followed me like some like of stalker."

"And then you had sex?" Brooke guessed with an eyebrow raised.

Walking over to the bed, Haley picked up a pillow and hit her in the head with it. "Zip me up," she commanded as she turned around.

Brooke stood up laughing and zipped her dress up. "Okay, I'm sorry. Please continue."

Haley took a quick look in the mirror. Her hair and makeup were both already done, and she looked pretty damn presentable. She allowed her eyes to follow the lines of the dress down her body. It didn't look quite as short on, but it was still pretty slutty for her. But she looked hot; there was no denying it. "He…I don't know…he got all close to me and was saying all these uncharacteristically sweet things, and I guess it just drew me in. I don't know. I feel kind of dumb for even saying yes."

"Tutor Girl, you should not feel dumb," Brooke said calmly, looking through the closet to find her some shoes. "You have all the power right now, and that's exactly how you want it, right?"

With a small shrug, Haley nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"So don't let him take that power back," Brooke continued. "And please, for the love of God, whatever you do, have some fun. You deserve it."

"I'll try," came Haley's reply. She watched as Brooke carried a pair of sexy black heels which she had also never worn in public over to her. With a groan, she took them and stepped into them carefully. "Well, if he didn't think I was a whore yesterday this'll surely change his mind."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "You don't look like a whore. You look beautiful. Besides, you know you get all fired up when you're around him. You won't be worried about your clothes."

Outside the door Lucas and Nathan stood, both just staring at the door. "This is such a bad idea," Lucas mumbled.

"You'll be fine, Luke. Brooke likes you," Nathan answered. "I, on the other hand, actually have a tricky situation. I've never done this before. My heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest. My palms are sweating, for God's sake."

Lucas shook his head. "She wouldn't have agreed to go out with you if she didn't want to. Now knock on the damn door already."

God, he was nervous. He wanted everything to be perfect, and he wanted Haley to actually let him talk to her. She was right when she said they didn't know each other. But he didn't know what to do. He'd never been on a date where he cared about anything more than which dorm they'd be going back to afterwards. Slowly, he brought a shaky hand up to the door and knocked twice.

Haley froze. "Oh, my God. I think I'm going to puke."

"Oh, shut up. You look hot as hell, and you're going to be fine. Just remember to have fun and be yourself," Brooke replied. "Now, go answer the door."

She took a deep breath and then walked over to the door. She paused for a moment and closed her eyes before finally giving in and swinging the door open. A smile was already plastered on her face, but when she saw Nathan her breath caught in her throat. He was wearing black dress pants, black dress shoes, and a white button-down shirt which he had tucked into his pants. There was no denying that he looked gorgeous.

"Holy shit," Nathan breathed when he saw her. He honestly found himself having to control his urge to pull her out of her dorm, take her back to his, and have his way with her. She looked stunning. And not only did she look sexy as hell, he also found the word "beautiful" coming to mind again. He shoved his hands into his pockets so she wouldn't notice how badly they were shaking.

When she heard him speak and the words registered in her mind, Haley looked up and furrowed her brow at him.

Wow, she probably thought he was a total tool now. "I just meant that you look…you look really beautiful," he managed to get out with a smile.

Haley smiled. It was so obvious that he was nervous. She knew she was better at masking it than he was. "Well then holy shit to you, too," she replied with a wink.

Nathan chuckled. How did she have the ability to be so breathtakingly beautiful and so undeniably sexy at the same time? It was a mystery to him.

For the first time Haley noticed that Lucas was standing next to her date. "Um, was it not just going to be the two of us?" she asked awkwardly.

"Oh, no it is," Nathan answered quickly. "Luke has a little crush on your roommate."

At this, Brooke moved from her place behind the door and smiled at Lucas. "Come in. And you two can leave." She grabbed Lucas's arm and pulled him into the dorm room while simultaneously pushing Haley out and closing the door.

Nathan and Haley both laughed and began to walk down the hall. "So where are we going?" Haley asked after a moment.

"It's a surprise," he replied with an adorable smile. Truthfully it wasn't that big of a deal, and he wasn't even sure that she would like it. But he was really trying.

When they made it outside, Nathan showed her to his car and opened the passenger door for her to get in, something she never would have expected from Nathan Scott. She thanked him as she got in and continued to silently remind herself that he was only doing this to get some action. It didn't mean anything to him, so she wouldn't let it mean anything to her.

After getting in the driver's seat, Nathan pulled out and started in the direction leading off campus.

They drove for about ten minutes in silence, with only the voice of the singer on the radio accompanying them. Haley was looking around at all the buildings trying to gauge just where exactly he was taking her. None of it looked familiar. "Okay, I'm starting to feel like I'm in some terrible horror movie," she joked as she glanced over at him.

Nathan laughed and then responded, "We're almost there."

And true to his word, about thirty seconds later he parallel parked on the street. Haley reached across the armrest and grabbed his arm. "Oh, my God. Is this…is this the part where you kill me?" she whispered.

"Funny," he answered with a smile. Damn, she was cute. He got out of the car and then opened her door for her once again, and for some reason she was surprised a second time.

The streets were dark, and when Haley looked up she found that they were in front of some restaurant called Deb's Den. She'd never heard of it before, and although it looked pretty nice it also appeared to be very closed.

Nathan slid a hand into his pocket and pulled out the key to his mother's restaurant. After unlocking the door, he held it open for Haley who was looking utterly confused. "I stole the key last night," he muttered as she walked past.

Turning around abruptly, Haley's eyes widened. That totally sounded like something Nathan Scott would do. "Nathan, what the hell?" she whisper-shouted. When he started laughing, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Oh, very funny," she said dryly.

With a smile, Nathan stepped closer to her. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. Come on." He took her hand in his, surprised at the amazing sensation it sent through him. Her hand was small, his was large, and yet somehow they fit perfectly together.

Haley was having a very similar reaction to holding his hand. She followed him to the back of the restaurant and up some stairs which she guessed led to the roof. When they reached the top, he slid the door open, and they both stepped out into the beautifully lit area. "Wow," Haley breathed, dropping his hand. Never, at any point in time, would she expect Nathan Scott to do something as romantic as this. She began to walk along the roof, taking in every inch of the scene before her. Lights were strung all along the roof, creating a dim but acceptable atmosphere. There were white rose petals lying along the ground next to the edges of the building, and in the center of it all was a little round table with two chairs on either side of it. Two candles were placed in the middle, along with a single long-stemmed red rose. She watched him as he struck a match and lit the two candles, creating a light glow around the table. There was a covered dish in front of each seat.

Nathan watched her face the entire time, even as he lit the match to light the candles, trying to determine whether or not she liked it. Disappointedly, he couldn't tell a damn thing. Although she looked happy about it, she still hadn't said anything, and the silence was killing him. He shoved his hands into his pockets nervously. "I know it's kind of lame, and you probably think I'm being pathetic, but I've never really done this before," he mumbled. "I think you know I don't usually go out on dates, and I just want you to know that this isn't what you think it is with me. I don't just want to sleep with you. You intrigue me, and you're the only girl who has ever made me feel that way."

As he spoke, Haley's smile grew wider, and she moved closer to him. When he stopped talking, she was standing directly in front of him, and their chests were almost touching. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up to place a lingering kiss on his cheek.

The world stopped as her lips came in contact with his skin. He was almost positive that nothing had felt that good before, and it never would again. He closed his eyes until he felt her pull away. Haley James was smiling at him, and that simple fact made him smile, too. Everything about her was infectious.

"It's perfect," she whispered.

Then just like that, she was moving away from him again. He cleared his throat and walked over to one of the chairs, pulling it out for her. Once they were both seated, Haley looked down at the dishes, not sure if she should uncover her own or wait for him to do so. "So what are we having?" she asked.

If there was one thing he knew she would like, it was the one and only item on the menu. He reached across the table and lifted the cover off her dish and then did the same with his own.

Haley looked down, and immediately her face lit up. "Oh, my gosh. Macaroni and cheese is my favorite food!"

"I know," he responded as he grabbed the bottle of wine sitting on the side of the table. After popping the top off, he poured them each a glass.

"Wait, how do you know that?" she questioned.

He shrugged nonchalantly and placed the bottle of wine back down on the table. "I may have done a little investigating." He watched her quirk a brow at him and then added, "Okay, I talked to Brooke."

Haley narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you always like this?"

"Like what?" he asked nervously. He thought he was being a perfect gentleman.

She shrugged slightly. "I mean, not that I'm not loving it, but this is not who you were yesterday. In the bathroom and in the café, all you did was make comments about how hot I looked and how I was your new sexual fantasy. Why is tonight any different? Because we're alone?"

Nathan sighed. He hadn't really expected to have this conversation tonight, but if she wanted to then they would. "Look, I know you know about my past and who I've been. I'm sorry that I can't change that for you. If I could, I would; believe me. Yesterday in the bathroom and in the café, all I saw was a hot girl who I wanted to fuck. I mean, I noticed your beauty, too, but I think I just pushed it to the back of my mind because it freaked me out. It still does."

"My beauty freaks you out? Good to know," she mumbled sarcastically.

He shook his head and reached across the table, taking both her hands in each of his. "The answer to your question is no. I'm not always like this. In fact, I've never been like this before in my life. But last night at the party, it was just different. I don't know what it is, but being around you makes me not want to be that guy anymore. You're different, and I like that. For you, I actually feel like trying wouldn't be a complete waste of my time."

Haley sighed and squeezed his hands. "So you've never done this for any other girl before?" she asked timidly. She didn't know what it was, but there was still that voice in the back of her mind telling her that it was all a lie. That the only reason he was saying or doing any of this was to get into her pants. He probably had the same routine and speech for every girl.

"No," he answered honestly. "I've never even thought about doing this for any other girl before."

She nodded, seemingly placated, and tore her hands away from his. "Let's eat."

They ate in silence for a few minutes and sipped their wine slowly. "So what is this place?" Haley questioned after a while, looking around at all the lights again.

Nathan swallowed the bite of macaroni and cheese he'd been chewing and looked around as well. "It's my mom's restaurant. She opened it a couple years ago after she and my dad split up, so now it's kind of like her haven. When I first came here, she showed me this roof, and I just felt really safe up here. So ever since then, it's kind of been my spot. I come here when I need to think or clear my head or just be alone."

"That's really nice, Nathan," Haley commented with a small smile. "So feel free to completely disregard this next question if it makes you uncomfortable, but how are you and Lucas related? I mean, I know him, and I know you're brothers, but we're not really close enough to where we discuss that kind of stuff."

"Well," Nathan started, "we have the same father. My dad dated Lucas's mom in high school and got her pregnant, but he also got a scholarship to play basketball, and of course he chose basketball. Then he went to college a few months later, met my mom, and got her pregnant, too. So they got married, and he left Lucas's mom to raise him on her own."

"God, that must have been really tough for her," Haley said.

Nathan nodded. "I can't even imagine, but I'm sure it was. She's one of those people who is just so kind-hearted and strong that she doesn't even really like to talk about her own struggles or have the spotlight on herself. So she just kind of did it and didn't complain, I guess." He cleared his throat. "But um, Lucas and I never really knew each other growing up. I mean, we lived in the same town, went to the same school, and played on the same teams, but it was kind of understood that we hated each other. He knew my dad was his dad, too, and he resented that. I, on the other hand, just hated him because that's what my dad said to do. He's pretty controlling, and up until a couple years ago he always got what he wanted. When Luke and I started playing at Duke together, that's when we really got close. Up until then we weren't even really friends, much less brothers. I cut off all my ties with my dad, and a year later my mom left him. Neither of us has heard from him since."

"Wow," Haley replied. "I don't know how this is going to sound, but I guess I always pictured you and the people you hang out with having the perfect lives. I never really thought that you'd have those kinds of problems. I clearly misjudged you on that."

He shrugged. "I mean, I pretty much get what I want, so it's not that bad. It was when I was in high school, but now that I'm free of him my life's good."

Haley nodded and took a sip of her wine.

"So what about you?" he asked.

"What?"

"Tell me about your family," he elaborated. He was really surprising himself tonight. Being around Haley and talking to her was completely interesting, and with every other girl he got bored within five seconds. No one had ever asked him about his family before, so he assumed they didn't want to know. It felt good telling someone about it, even if it was just the easy stuff. He felt like a completely different person now when he was around her, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything but the truth.

"Oh, gosh," Haley responded with a light chuckle. "There really isn't much to tell. I'm from a small town not too far from Durham. Pretty much everything about my childhood was pretty normal, and it still is. My parents are both really open-minded and silly, so that's always fun." She watched Nathan smile, and she did the same. "Um, and I have six older siblings."

Both of Nathan's eyebrows rose. "Wow. So you're the baby?" When she rolled her eyes, he laughed. "Aw, Hales, that's so cute."

Her eyes lit up when she heard him call her Hales. The people close to her called her that, and she found herself wishing she was closer to Nathan. It still felt nice hearing him say that though. It felt right. "I guess I am," she replied. "They're all really protective of me, but it's kind of ironic because I'm the most conservative of any of them. Most of them were big partiers in high school and college, and I'm just not. Now that I hang out with Brooke and Peyton, I'll go to the occasional party, but it's not really my scene."

Nathan nodded. "I thought you didn't drink," he commented, nodding to the glass of wine in her hand.

"Right," she said with a short nod. Then she surprised him by lifting the half full glass to her lips and swallowing it all in one gulp. "I kind of just didn't want to talk to you. You see how well that turned out."

Damn, she looked sexy. He placed a hand over his heart. "Well, that's just mean."

Haley laughed and set the empty glass down. "You know, I'd have to call you the prude tonight. You've barely touched your wine."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Someone's got to drive. Besides, when you jump me later I'll have to be sober enough to feel bad about taking advantage of an innocent little college girl."

She cocked an eyebrow at him and then watched confusedly as he stood up and crossed the roof. When she saw him turning on a stereo, she smiled brightly. No one had ever been so sweet to her before.

Nathan turned the volume up as Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" began to play. After turning around, he walked back to the table and held his hand out for her to take. "May I have this dance?"

Haley rolled her eyes but couldn't wipe the huge smile off her face. "Well, I guess," she said with a dramatic sigh. She placed her hand in his and stood up, instinctively leaning her body into his. Their hands stayed together, and her other rested on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her.

They danced slowly for most of the song until Haley looked up at him to find his piercing blue eyes staring down at her. Her heart started beating faster. "I've never felt this way before," she whispered.

"What way?" he asked huskily.

Haley licked her lips and continued to stare into his eyes. She didn't even notice when the song ended and another began. "Like I could do anything or say anything, and you're still going to look at me the way you are right now," she answered him in a whisper. "Like we've known each other for years. Like we're so close already but all I want is to be even closer to you. To feel you."

Both their bodies stilled at her words, but their limbs stayed locked. Nathan's eyes moved to her lips, and just at that moment her tongue slowly moved out of her mouth to lick them sensually. He almost groaned but instead he moved both his hands around her waist as hers locked around his neck. He leaned in slowly, and before he knew what was happening her lips had met his in the middle, and they were kissing. He moved his lips over hers slowly until he felt her tongue tracing his lower lip. His lips immediately parted, and then their tongues were melting together slowly.

Haley had kissed plenty of guys before, but nothing had ever felt this utterly amazing. She never wanted it to stop. All of her senses had gone completely into overdrive as her hands began to play with the buttons on his shirt. She undid them each slowly and then pushed the material off his shoulders.

How many girls had he slept with? He couldn't even count them all, and yet nothing compared to this kiss. Even before that, just dancing with her had been breathtakingly amazing. He felt her hands running up and down his bare chest and tore his lips away from hers. He heard her whimper, but it turned into a moan when he began to place kisses along her jaw. He worked his way to her neck, sucking on her pulse point relentlessly.

Realizing what she was probably leading him to believe, Haley pulled away from his mouth and took a few steps back. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "God, I'm so stupid."

When he saw her turn to leave, he ran after her and grabbed her arm, gently turning her around. "Hey, you're not stupid," he said quietly. He stepped closer and brought a hand up to stroke her cheek delicately.

Haley closed her eyes, reveling in the feeling of his hands on her skin. When she reopened her eyes, she looked into his blue orbs as a single tear escaped her eye.

Nathan leaned forward and kissed the tear away before moving back again to look at her. "What's going on?" he asked softly. "Why are you crying?"

"I can't have sex with you," she whispered, turning her face away from him.

"I never asked you to," he responded. She looked at him questioningly, and he continued. "Listen to me. I told you earlier that this isn't about sex for me, and I was telling the truth. I want to get to know Haley James, sex or no sex, okay?" She had turned her face away from him again, and he placed a hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I know that my reputation is not great, but that doesn't mean anything now. I don't need sex. In fact, that kiss was better than anything I've ever experienced in my entire life. You have to believe me; I wouldn't lie to you."

Slowly, she nodded her head and leaned her body into his, letting him hold her.

"Now, let's get back to this date," he said after a minute of holding her.

Haley gave him a small smile and nodded, following him back to their table.

An hour later both were on a thick blanket atop the roof. Nathan had put his shirt back on, but it was unbuttoned. Both were lying down on their backs looking at the stars, which could all be clearly seen from their spot. Haley was laughing and looking over at Nathan incredulously. "You did not say that."

Nathan laughed and nodded his head. "I did. I told him to back the hell off, too. No one talks about my mom that way."

Haley laughed again and scooted closer to him. She rolled over onto her stomach and placed a hand on his chest, tracing lazy circles onto it. "Promise you'll threaten any guy that trash talks about me?" she asked in a sweet voice.

He smiled and picked up her hand, placing a kiss on her fingers. "No. If any guy talks trash about you, I will beat the living shit out of him."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh, does that mean we're dating?" she joked.

Nathan's face was suddenly serious as he shrugged. "Do you want us to be dating?" he whispered, still holding her hand.

Haley leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss in the middle of his chest. "Hmm…if you think you can handle me, Mr. Scott."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Well, I always like a challenge, Haley James." He pulled her on top of him and rubbed up and down her back slowly. "I'll always keep you safe," he whispered into her hair.

Her eyes closed, and a hint of a smile graced her features as she heard his last words. And not a moment later she was asleep in his arms for the very first time.


	3. Chapter 3

Haley stood under the hot water with her eyes closed, reveling in the sweet burning sensation it was creating on her skin. Since classes and tutoring had started back up, she had been extremely busy and stressed out. She'd also taken a job at an off-campus café to earn some extra cash. She had always worked. The summer before senior year was the only extended period of time she'd ever taken off, and she hadn't felt like herself. It made her feel lazy; plus, her available spending money had plummeted. All of her responsibilities were weighing down on her, but she didn't let any of it affect her, as per usual. Being busy made her happy, and she still found time to have fun; she always did.

It was the middle of the week, and it had been three days since her Sunday night date with Nathan. God, she still couldn't even describe how amazing it had been. It sure as hell wasn't anything like she'd pictured a date with Nathan Scott. He had really gone all out and surprised her with his blatant sincerity. Falling asleep in his arms, she had felt safer than she ever had in her entire twenty-one years of existence. Even being home with her parents and siblings didn't compare to the level of security she felt with Nathan. And they had only been on one date, for crying out loud. When she'd woken up, they were parked outside the dorms. Apparently he had carried her out to the car, not wishing to wake her. They shared a brief kiss outside her dorm room before they went their separate ways, and of course they exchanged numbers. It had been the perfect night, and all she wanted to do was do it all over again.

It was incredible how much she missed him. She had just met him on Saturday, and it had only been three days since she had last seen or talked to him. It was like she had some sort of unfulfilled craving that only he could satisfy, and she found herself waking up in the middle of the night aching to feel him next to her. Maybe it was the safety thing; maybe sleeping alone just wasn't the same anymore. But in her heart she knew it was more. It had nothing to do with safety or loneliness or lust. The simple fact of it was that she wanted him. She couldn't stop thinking about him, and every time thoughts of his cocky little smirk or crooked smile entered her head she was done for. She walked around with a goofy smile on her face half the time, and she was sure her peers thought she was crazy. On Monday, she had gushed to Brooke and Peyton for over an hour about how perfect the date had been. She couldn't shut up about it. And even though she was a born rambler, this was different. And she had no problem admitting that to herself. Denial was not a place Haley James liked to be in, and so she wasn't.

But he hadn't called. It had been three long days, and he hadn't called. Of course, he hadn't said that he would, and she hadn't asked him to. But if he was really as into her as he had led her to believe, shouldn't he have called by now? It was killing her not to know what he was thinking or if he was having the same strangely magnificent feelings that she was. She didn't allow herself to dwell on the negative though. Her own feelings towards him were too incredible for her to not be a total optimist.

After washing her hair, she squeezed body wash into her hands and lathered it over her arms. As her hands moved to her chest and stomach, she found herself picturing Nathan's hands on her. Her eyes shot open and she glanced around the cubicle frantically. She had never been the type to have sexual fantasies, and even when she woke up in the night it wasn't like that. She simply wanted his body next to hers. But now, as she closed her eyes and continued to bathe herself in the shower, it was different. Everything she did to herself, in her mind was being done by Nathan. And hell, if she couldn't have the real thing her fantasy of him would have to do. She was sure that if she wasn't in a public coed bathroom, she would have ended up doing a lot more than just washing herself. But she was mindful of her environment and of the fact that if she got caught doing that by another student she would have no choice but to kill herself. She couldn't imagine anything more mortifying. The thought of her and Nathan in the shower together with a chance of being caught, though, made her blush and smirk at the same time. Her mind wandered to last Saturday when they had stepped out of the showers at almost the exact same time. His chiseled body with simply a towel held loosely around his waist had to be a sin. She remembered exactly the way he had looked, too. There had still been beads of water slowly falling down his chest and abs, and it had been the picture of a tantalizing man. She knew that if she saw him like that now she wouldn't be able to resist touching him.

That day when they had first met, Haley had been forced to use the showers on the floor below hers because the plumbing on theirs had been on the fritz. Now, she came to the showers on Nathan's floor simply because she hoped that they would meet up again. She had been there every morning since their date, and still she'd had no luck. It was Wednesday evening now though. Her day had been incredibly taxing, and all she wanted to do was unwind. Her muscles were screaming to soak in a warm bubble bath, but since that wasn't really an option in their dorms a hot shower had to do. She stayed under the water longer than usual, massaging extra soap into her skin. Still, Nathan's hands wouldn't leave her mind, so she decided to go back to her and Brooke's room. It was best not to let her mind wander too far.

After rinsing off completely, she turned off the water. She could hear another shower running, and her face turned up in surprise. It was sort of a weird time to be taking a shower, and she had been the only one in there thirty minutes ago. Shrugging it off, she pulled her towel from the railing outside the stall and wrapped it around her body after drying off briefly. She wrung out her hair over the drain and then stepped out of the cubicle. She grabbed her bag from inside the shower and walked over to a sink, taking the lotion from her bag as she walked. Usually she did this back in her room, but sometimes it was faster just to do it in the bathroom.

Nathan sighed as he finally turned off the cold water. That was the only type of shower he'd been taking for three days. He hoped it didn't make him a pervert, but every time he closed his eyes he saw Haley. And it's not like he was even picturing her naked. The image that usually came into his head was of her fully clothed but looking breathtakingly beautiful. Still, he hardened almost instantly every time it happened. He felt like some geeky virgin schoolboy, but he couldn't help it. She was amazing, and he couldn't get her out of his head. Usually the cold showers succeeded in calming him down though, so he was thankful for that. He ran a hand through his wet hair and then grabbed his towel, wrapping it loosely around his waist. His back involuntarily flexed as he stepped out of the cubicle. He was so sore from basketball workouts; he had been training harder than ever, and it was definitely taking its toll. He couldn't wait to crawl under the covers and sleep for at least a few hours.

As he turned to leave the bathroom, though, he saw a figure out of the corner of his eye. Finding it peculiar that someone else would be in there so late at night, he turned to see who it was. He gulped when he realized that it was none other than the reason for his cold showers. God, she was beautiful. She was standing in front of a mirror, but she wasn't looking at herself. For some reason, that got his attention. She was rubbing lotion onto her arms slowly but surely. He watched her until she was done and had capped the lotion again, placing it back in her bag.

Haley sighed contentedly as she zipped up her bag and turned around. She jumped slightly when she saw Nathan standing there staring at her in nothing but a towel. This had to be some kind of cruel punishment. Hadn't she just been picturing him that way in the shower five minutes ago? Now she couldn't keep her eyes off of his body, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to resist the urge to run her hands over his sculpted chest. Placing a hand over her heart, she gave him a small smile. "You scared me," she breathed.

"Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly. "I, um…I'm not being a creep or anything. I just came out of the shower, and there you were."

Letting out a light laugh, Haley crossed the bathroom until she was directly in front of him. "It's okay. It's good to see you."

"It is?" he asked hopefully. Immediately he mentally berated himself for sounding like such an idiot. But he had been thinking about her for three days straight. And considering how she had felt towards him when they met, it wasn't a stretch for him to think that maybe she was regretting their date. That maybe she didn't want to see him again. That she still thought of him as some kind of a man-whore.

Haley gave him a reassuring smile and nodded her head. "Of course it is. How have you been?"

"Good," he answered a little too quickly. God, why did he get so nervous around her? It was even worse now that they had been on a date. And he really didn't know why. They had already shared their first kiss. Most of the nerves should have faded at that point. "I've been good. Just busy." He watched her face fall and continued. "That's why I haven't called, if you were wondering. It's not that I didn't want to. I did; believe me."

She gave him a nod, letting him know she understood. "It's okay. I've been pretty busy myself, actually. But I've been thinking about you."

Nathan smiled genuinely at that. His one worry had been that she would either forget about him or regret their night together, and now both of those insecurities had been quelled. "I've been thinking about you, too. A lot."

"And what were you thinking?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. She didn't know why, but she felt unbelievably comfortable around Nathan. She didn't feel like she had to hold back at all, and flirting didn't seem dangerous with him. It felt right.

Seemingly finding a conversational rhythm again, Nathan smirked. "Well, I was wondering if you'd like to hang out tomorrow…among other things."

Haley laughed as he muttered the end of his sentence and then nodded her head. "I would love to hang out tomorrow. I actually don't have any classes, but I'm working all day till six. We could hang out after?" she suggested.

"Perfect," he replied. "I'll come by your room at like seven."

"Sounds good." Not being able to hold herself back any longer, Haley took the two steps forward that brought her up to his body and lifted onto her toes.

Sensing where she was going with this, Nathan bent his head down to meet her lips in a gentle kiss. He brought a hand up to caress her cheek while the other rested on her towel-clad hip.

As one of Haley's hands still held her shower bag, she brought the other up to press against his chest. She slowly parted his lips with her tongue and snaked hers in to meet his sensually. She allowed her hand to trail farther down his body, raking her fingernails over his chiseled abs.

Nathan let out a deep moan as he pulled her body closer to his own so that they were tightly melded together. He wanted her to keep touching him, but he knew if he let that happen he would be stuck in a very embarrassing situation. He continued to kiss her hotly for several minutes before pulling away and attaching his lips to her throat. He kissed her everywhere and eventually stopped when he reached the edge of her shoulder. Bringing his head back to hers, he nuzzled his nose against hers and placed another soft kiss on her lips.

Haley smiled at how adorable he was and then patted him on the chest as she turned to leave. "See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," he repeated with a small nod. He watched her leave and then quickly climbed back into a stall, turning the cold water on. He only needed a few minutes under the cold spray, but it did him a world of good. He was so going to Hell.

* * *

Brooke concentrated carefully in the mirror as she applied her lip gloss. A moment later, she pulled back, popping her lips loudly. "How do I look?" she asked, turning around to face her best friend.

"Amazing," Haley replied honestly. "He won't know what hit him."

"I know, right?" Brooke said with a raised eyebrow. She placed her lip gloss in her cleavage so it was perfectly concealed by the beautiful lavender dress she wore.

Haley laughed from her seat on the bed. "That dress is really amazing, Brooke."

"I know. I love it!" Brooke squealed. "But hopefully I won't be wearing it for long, if you know what I mean." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Shaking her head, Haley laughed again. "Yeah, I still can't believe you and Lucas already had sex. You haven't even known him for a week, Brooke. That's a little fast, even for you."

Her friend shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "What can I say? We have a connection."

"Well, I am happy for you, Brooke Davis," Haley stated, nodding at her friend. "Oh, and by the way, can you and Lucas just…make sure you go to his dorm when you decide to get freaky tonight?"

Brooke gasped. "Why? Are you planning something with Boy Toy that I should know about? Oh, my God! Are you going to give it up?"

Haley's jaw dropped. "Not that it's any of your business, but no. As I have previously pointed out, we haven't even known each other for a week. If and when that happens, it will be…not soon." Trying to stop herself from blushing, she looked down at the textbook she was currently studying. "Anyways, I don't know what's going to happen with Nathan tonight. But I really like him, Brooke. And in the event that we were to be making out and you and Lucas happened to stumble in here half-naked, I just might have to kick your scrawny ass. And Luke's."

Brooke held up her hands in defense and smirked. "Don't worry. We'll go to his dorm, Tutor Girl. Are you guys going to go out?"

"I don't think so," Haley replied. "I picked up movies, and I think he's bringing pizza, so it's just going to be a quiet night in."

Brooke nodded and started to say something but stopped when she heard a knock on the door. Letting out a girlish squeal, she grabbed her clutch off of her bed and walked to the door. "Have fun," she called before walking out, not giving Haley a chance to reply.

Haley laughed and looked back down at her textbook. She studied for the next twenty minutes and then put all of her stuff back on her desk. She took her glasses off, too, and decided to change her clothes. Even though it was a quiet night in, she was not thinking that sweatpants were the way to go. They didn't exactly scream "sexy." Instead, she pulled on a pair of old faded jeans and changed into a plain baby blue tank top. She let her hair out of its clasp and fixed it properly before sitting down with a book to wait for Nathan.

She wasn't waiting long, and five minutes later he was knocking. She threw her book down on Brooke's bed and made her way to the door to let him in. "Hey," she greeted him with a smile as soon as she saw his face.

"Hey, beautiful," he replied with a smile of his own. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek before walking completely into the room. He set the pizza and sodas down on the empty space of her desk and turned to face her.

Haley shut the door and walked to him, interlocking her wrists behind his neck. She felt his hands moving around her hips and smiled, leaning up to give him a gentle kiss on the lips. "You know what's crazy?" she said after pulling away.

"What's that?" he asked, keeping her body close.

She blushed as she spoke, but she wanted to be completely honest with him. If they were going to do this thing, then she wanted to be all in. She only hoped that he felt the same way. "I just saw you last night, but I missed you today." She leaned up again and spoke between kisses. "All…day…long."

Nathan grinned and kissed her once more. "I feel the same way, Hales. It's crazy, and I can't explain it, but I want to be with you as often as I possibly can. I feel incredibly alive, even when I'm just holding your hand."

Haley smiled and bit her lip. His words warmed her heart, and it was good to know that the feelings she was having were mutual.

"So what movies did you get?" Nathan asked after a moment. He watched her move away from him and pick up the cases on the other end of her desk.

"Only the best ones in the world," she answered with a smile. "Pretty in Pink and It's A Wonderful Life."

Nathan quirked an eyebrow at the second one. "You do realize it's September, right?"

She narrowed her eyes at him playfully and set the movies back down. "I will have you know that this movie is a classic every month of the year, mister."

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "I wouldn't know. I've never seen it."

"Don't knock it till you try it." She gave him a pointed look and then picked the DVD up. She put it in and started it while he set their food up on her bed.

They both sat down on opposite ends of the bed as they ate. Nathan still felt nervous. Although he was comfortable interacting with her and kissing her, being on her bed was a different story. He knew she wasn't like the other girls he'd been with, and he knew she wasn't going to have sex with him. So where the hell was the line?

They were silent except for the occasional comment or question as they watched the movie and ate. When they were both done eating, Nathan moved the pizza box and their empty soda cans to her desk. When he turned around, he noticed that she had moved to sit at the top of the bed resting against the headboard. Now he really had no idea what to do. Awkwardly, he walked over to the front of the bed and sat on the floor.

Haley watched him out of the corner of her eye and bit her lip to keep from laughing when he sat on the floor. "Nathan?"

"Hmm?" he replied, turning his head to look at her.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't have to ask her what she was talking about. "I…I don't know, Hales. I didn't know if you…I don't know," he finished lamely with a sigh.

She laughed softly. "You're so cute," she complimented him while bringing a hand up. She used only her index finger to beckon him. "Come up here with me."

"Are you sure?" he asked as he stood up. Neither of them cared that the movie was still playing or that they were missing it.

"I'm sure," she assured him.

He nodded, feeling stupid now. He sat down next to her but kept his distance.

Haley continued to watch the movie for a few minutes before looking over at him. His hands were in his pockets, and he was so close to the edge of the bed he looked like he would fall off at any moment. She leaned over to whisper in his ear, "You can touch me, you know."

Nathan turned to face her and nodded slowly. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." He scooted closer to her.

"You're not going to make me feel uncomfortable," she told him, scooting over so that they were touching. "And if you do, I promise that I'll let you know. But just be here with me, okay?"

He nodded and gave her a soft smile, finally giving in and placing an arm around her shoulders.

With a smile, Haley leaned into him and placed a hand on his stomach as she threw her leg over the top of his. God, being in his arms was so amazing. She swore she would never feel anything so incredibly relaxing.

They finished the movie, both content in each other's arms. When Haley moved to get up and switch the DVDs out, Nathan told her he'd do it. However, as he moved to get off the bed he stopped in mid-motion and grimaced heavily.

"What's wrong?" Haley asked.

He stood up slowly and shook his head. "Nothing; I'm fine. My back's just been really sore. We've been training really hard this past week."

"You know what's good for that?" Haley asked as she stood up as well. "A massage."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? And would you happen to know anyone who could give me this massage?"

She smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "I just might, sir."

He laughed and watched her turn off the television. "Take off your shirt," she demanded.

"Why?" he asked slowly.

"This is simply how we do it here," she said with an innocent shrug.

"_We_?" he inquired as he removed his shirt.

Haley nodded simply and then gave him instructions, telling him to lie down on his stomach on her bed. She let her eyes linger on the muscles in his back for a moment before she got on the bed, swinging one leg over him so she was straddling him.

"I like this massage," he teased with a smirk.

She smiled and began kneading her hands into his flesh as she leaned down to whisper into his ear, "I thought you would."

Ten minutes later Nathan was practically moaning as she put the finishing touches on her massage.

"You're all set," she announced, placing a hand in the middle of his back. She watched him roll over so he was on his back, and she was still straddling his hips.

"Damn," he commented with a shake of his head. "You are very good with your hands, Miss James. Well done."

She smirked and leaned down to capture his earlobe in her mouth. "How good?" she whispered when she pulled away.

He smiled. She somehow got even hotter in that moment. He liked seeing her take initiative, and this meant that even though they weren't going to have sex anytime soon she was open to them still making out on her bed. "Very, very good," he mumbled before placing a hand behind her neck. He pulled her lips to his and kissed her hard.

Haley returned the kiss just as passionately, running her hands up and down his chest. "Has anyone told you that you are extremely sexy?" she whispered against his lips.

Nathan smirked, moving his lips to her neck. "As a matter of fact, you're the first," he returned. A moment later he'd managed to flip them over so he was on top. Their heads were at the foot of the bed, but he neither noticed nor cared. He ravaged her neck as his hands moved under her shirt to rub small circles on her bare stomach.

Haley moaned at the skin-on-skin contact as she dug her nails into his shoulders. She watched him move down her body, not really sure what he was doing. Surely he wasn't going to go for her pants. That just wouldn't make any sense with her whole "no sex" thing. She regarded him curiously, but her eyes fluttered shut when she felt his mouth on her skin.

Smiling against her skin, Nathan placed another wet kiss on her flat stomach. He lifted her shirt up higher and continued to pepper her abdomen with kisses. As he reached her belly button, his tongue snaked out to tease it, and he smirked when he heard her giggle. Moving back up to her face, he placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. "God, I love your laugh," he stated.

She smiled and hooked her legs over his, moving her toes along his calves over his jeans. "I really, really like you," she whispered, looking into his eyes. "And it's a big deal."

He placed a gentle kiss on her open lips and nodded slowly. "I really, really like you, too."

"So we're really going to do this, right?" she asked with a big smile. "Like be together for real?"

"If you're up for it," he challenged with a genuine smile. "I would love to be with you…for real," he teased her.

She slapped his arm playfully and then kissed him again, this time with her tongue. "Tell me a secret," she said after pulling back.

He paused to think for a moment before speaking. "You scare me," he admitted. When he saw her raise an eyebrow, he continued. "Being with you and being around you is the most amazing thing ever, Haley. Without even having known you for a week, I never want to leave your side. I think about you all day and all night, and it scares me. I've never felt this way about a girl before. It's new territory."

"For me, too," she told him, nodding her head.

"Your turn," he said with a smug smile. "What's your secret, James?"

"Hmm." She thought for a second and then broke out into a grin. "I like to sing."

Nathan raised both his eyebrows. "Like sing, sing? Are you good?"

She shrugged shyly. "I don't know. I mean, I think I am, but I've never actually sang in front of anyone before." She stopped and then amended her statement. "Wait, that's a lie. I played the piano and sang for my mom once when I was eight. But hopefully my voice has changed a little since then."

He smiled and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "So you play the piano?"

She nodded. "And guitar." She pointed to the Gibson resting in the corner of the room.

Nathan looked up briefly to locate the instrument and then found her eyes again. "Will you play for me?"

Haley looked up at him, surprised. She had been expecting a "that's cool" or a simple "wow." Never in a million years did she think he'd ask her to play for him. "Um…" Suddenly her cheeks got hot, and she swallowed. "Do you really want me to? What if I'm really bad and I don't know it?"

He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "I seriously doubt that, but if you are I'll tell you."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he swore.

Haley held out her pinky to him and smiled when he hooked his own around it. They kissed for a few more minutes before getting up. She went to the corner of the room and grabbed her guitar, returning to sit on the bed next to him. She couldn't believe she was about to play for him. Peyton and Brooke both knew she played, and as a matter of fact so did most of her siblings. But no matter how many times they asked her to play or sing for them, she never did it. It made her too nervous, and she knew they would tease her if she sucked. She didn't feel that weight around Nathan. She knew he would be honest with her, and she trusted him to tell her the truth. At the same time, she felt that no matter how good of a singer she was she could share this with him, and it would mean something.

"Okay, no laughing," she teased, holding the guitar on her knee.

"Scout's honor," he promised, holding his fingers up. He leaned his head into a hand resting on his knee and watched her closely.

Haley smiled and took a deep breath before looking down at her guitar. She began playing a moment later and waited for the right time to begin singing.

_The girl in the moon_

_Is alone with the stars_

_And the spaceships_

_The girl in the moon_

_Is alone and alive_

_With the dust and the air_

_Nothing grows_

_Everything is moving_

_But only goes in circles_

_And no one to talk to_

_Is reason enough to be blue_

Haley looked up at him briefly. His eyes were trained on her, and the gaze he held for her was so incredibly intense that she almost had to stop playing. However, she didn't, and as she refocused her gaze in front of her she continued singing.

_The girl in the moon_

_With her dreams_

_Has a steel melting smile_

_But the girl with the blues_

_In the moon_

_Hasn't smiled in a long while_

She played the entire song, and it felt amazing. Knowing that someone else was listening to her and seemingly enjoying the music was just about the greatest feeling in the world. When she'd finished the song, she carefully set the guitar down next to her so it was leaning up against the bed. Turning to face him, she wrung her hands together nervously. "So, what do you think? I mean, obviously it was just an acoustic, and it's probably not your favorite genre of music, but I think if you can get past that maybe it was okay."

"Okay?" he questioned.

Biting her lip, she placed her hands under her thighs so she'd stop fidgeting with them. "Yeah. I mean…it was okay, right? You…you thought it was okay?"

Nathan smiled. "You're adorable, Hales. And no, it was not okay. It was freaking awesome, babe."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not just saying that?"

He shook his head and placed a hand on her thigh, rubbing it up and down slowly. "You were amazing. And I'm very picky with my music. Just ask Luke." He gave her a smile. "You are really good. I couldn't take my eyes off of you the entire time. You should be doing this for real."

Haley scoffed. "Yeah right. I know I'm okay, but there's no way I'm good enough to really be a singer."

"Yes you are," he argued. "But for the sake of argument, let's say you're not. What are your plans, Haley James?"

Throwing her legs up onto the bed, she scooted into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, since my majors are English and Education, I'll probably do something like I don't know…teach English," she teased, raising an eyebrow.

Nathan laughed, holding onto her waist. "Smartass."

"Damn straight," she replied, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Resting one hand on her thigh, Nathan let the other run up and down her side. "Thank you for sharing this with me," he whispered.

She sat up and smiled, kissing his lips softly. "Thank you for letting me," she replied just as quietly.


	4. Chapter 4

**So so sorry! I rewrote this chapter so many times and just couldn't seem to get it going in the direction that I wanted until now. So thank you for being patient with me, and I promise you the next update will not take as long as this one did. It's been a crazy week, and unfortunately I haven't had much time to sleep, much less write. But anyways, I hope you're all still enjoying this story, and thank you for all of your support. It means the world to me! **

* * *

"Remind me to never bet you anything ever again," Nathan mumbled, handing over a twenty-dollar bill to his brother.

Lucas laughed and pocketed the money. "Hey, it was your idea. I hate betting. And I wouldn't have even done it, but you looked so damn smug. I had to prove you wrong."

"You lost another bet?" Haley teased as she walked up to their table at the café. "What was it this time?"

Nathan froze in the booth, his hands gripping his knees fiercely. The bet Lucas had just been compensated for was the one he had made just over a week ago when he had seen Haley for the first time. He had bet Lucas that he would sleep with her within a week, and that obviously hadn't happened. Honestly he had forgotten about the entire thing, but neither brother had ever been one to let something like that go. When Nathan owed him money, Lucas was not shy when it came to asking him for it. Truthfully, although it had only been a week ago, Nathan felt like a different guy. Being with Haley meant a lot to him, and he would never screw that up just because he couldn't have sex with her. What they were experiencing together was amazing and fresh, and he wouldn't change it for the world. Therefore, there was no need for Haley to even know about the bet. It would only make her think less of him, and that was the last thing he wanted. His mind scrambled to think of another bet he and Lucas could have made.

Seeing the panic on his brother's face, Lucas jumped in. "Oh, he thought he could beat me in one-on-one yesterday, but he was wrong. I kicked his ass."

Haley laughed and slid into the booth next to Nathan. "Aw, baby, I'm sorry." She kissed his cheek. When he didn't speak and seemed to be off in his own little world, she threw Lucas a confused glance and then placed a hand on his upper thigh to get his attention. "What's wrong?"

His eyes immediately moved to meet hers and he plastered a quick smile on his face. "Oh, nothing. I just don't like to lose."

"Does that mean you'll be needing some consoling?" Haley whispered into his ear before attaching her lips to his earlobe.

Nathan almost moaned at the sudden contact and the plethora of naughty thoughts her words had just evoked. "What did you have in mind?" he whispered huskily, his eyes growing darker.

"Well-"

"No!" Lucas interrupted Haley. "Please wait until I'm gone to finish whatever perverted statement you were about to make. The image of you two doing it is not something I need in my head."

A blush instantly covered Haley's cheeks, and she moved her face away from Nathan's. Even just being around him for two minutes, she had gotten lost in the moment and forgotten that Lucas was there with them.

Lucas continued eating, and the table was silent. When he looked up he noticed that his younger brother was glaring at him from across the booth. "What?" he asked with a mouthful of food.

"Weren't you supposed to be leaving now?" Nathan asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nathan," Haley chided, slapping his arm.

"Can you blame me for wanting to be alone with you?"

Haley rolled her eyes and laughed. "What do you think is going to happen once he's gone? We're in public and not exactly alone."

Nathan shrugged, throwing her a smirk. "So?"

Feeling her cheeks flame up again, Haley turned her face away from him.

"You know what? I'm almost done anyways," Lucas spoke up. "I think Brooke is wanting me over there today, and you know how she hates to be kept waiting. I'd better go."

"Luke, you don't have to go," Haley told him.

He stood up and flashed her a smile. "Don't worry about it, Hales. I'm not big on third-wheeling anyways. I'll see you guys later." He gave them each a nod and then left.

Haley turned to glare at Nathan, and he looked up at her innocently. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me," Haley replied. "You made him feel weird about staying."

"You're right; I'm sorry," he responded. "But I'm cute enough to be forgiven, right?" He smiled.

With a roll of her eyes, Haley let out a loud laugh. "Yes, and oh so modest."

He continued to blink his eyes at her cutely.

Haley smiled and brought her hands up to cup his face. "You are definitely cute enough to be forgiven," she whispered before kissing him gently.

Nathan smiled into the kiss before deepening it as his tongue slid past her parted lips. His hand, which had been resting on her thigh, began inching its way up her jeans slowly.

When she felt his hand extremely close to the place in between her thighs where she longed for him to touch her, she pulled away. "What are you doing?" she whispered breathlessly.

"Making out with my girlfriend," he replied with a smirk before lowering his lips to hers again.

Haley kissed him back, not able to resist his charms. Once he'd finally allowed her to pull away, she caressed his cheek delicately and gave him a soft smile. "I like being your girlfriend."

Nathan smiled. "And I like you being my girlfriend. I know we've only been together for a week, but you make me so happy."

"You make me happy, too, Nathan," she assured him, placing another long kiss on his lips. "Okay, people are starting to stare," she muttered with an embarrassed laugh.

"Your point is?" Nathan asked teasingly as he tucked a blonde lock behind her ear.

Haley raised an eyebrow at him and didn't have to say anything more. They both laughed as Nathan picked up his water to take a sip. After he'd set the glass down, she picked it up and didn't allow her eyes to leave his as she brought the drink up to her lips. Once her thirst had been satisfied, she set the glass back down and turned in the booth so she was facing him.

"So are we hanging out tonight?" Nathan asked. He sincerely hoped that they were. They'd hung out the past three days, and he was sure that pretty soon he wouldn't be able to go an entire day without seeing her face or hearing her voice. Hell, who was he kidding? He was already there.

"I would love to, but I can't," Haley replied, instantly seeing the disappointment cross his face. She knew how he must be feeling because she felt the exact same way. When she wasn't with Nathan she missed him, and that was it. She thought about him when she worked at the café, when she was falling asleep at night, and for the first time in her life Haley couldn't bring herself to focus on her schoolwork. Every day as she sat in class listening to an extremely monotonous professor talk about God knows what, her thoughts drifted to her new boyfriend. Her daily homework sessions were no different. He was quickly becoming the biggest part of her life, and although it was scary she was looking forward to what she knew they would experience together. She couldn't wait to know him better. "I have to babysit."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Babysit? For who?"

"My sister," she said. "It's her and her husband's anniversary, so they've been away all weekend. My parents have been watching the kids, but I offered to take tonight's shift. I haven't seen them in a few weeks, and I really miss them."

Nathan smiled as he listened to her. He loved listening to Haley talk about her family; he could do it all day. His family was so screwed up, and it was extremely comforting to know that genuine families like hers existed. He had started to believe otherwise. It wasn't hard to see how much Haley adored each and every member of her family, even the crazy ones, and that was something he wished he could say for himself. But it was in those moments that he knew she was a better person than him in more ways than one. He found himself wanting to be as kind as her and as gentle, but he wasn't sure he had it in him. It was just Haley. And he loved everything about her. "Couldn't we still hang out?" he questioned.

She raised an eyebrow as her lips curved up into a smile. "With two children and a baby?"

He shrugged and gave her a small smile. "Why not? We'll get to spend time together, and you'll get some help with them. It'll be fun."

And there he went surprising her again. "Do you even like kids?" she asked.

Again, he shrugged. "I really don't know. I don't think I've been around them enough to find out," Nathan answered honestly. "Everything I've seen has been from a distance."

"And you realize you'll be meeting my parents, right? I mean, if you want to be there I want you to be there, Nathan. But meeting the parents is kind of a big step, and we've only been together for a week."

"It doesn't have to be anything formal, Hales." He gave her a smile. "Besides, I'd like to meet the people responsible for bringing you into my life. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have you, and then where would I be?"

"Having sex," she replied bluntly.

Nathan laughed, and she joined in a moment later. "So we're babysitting?" he questioned once they'd calmed down.

"We're babysitting," she confirmed with a nod.

* * *

Pulling up outside of the two-story house, Nathan turned the car off before turning to face Haley. She looked nervous. "Are you okay, babe?"

"I'm fine," she replied with a nod. "I just…maybe we should tell my parents that you're going to be driving back tonight and then picking me up. They might not be so fond of us spending the night together. They tend to get a little overprotective from time to time."

"I don't know," he replied skeptically. "I really don't want to be lying to your parents the first time I meet them, Hales. I want them to like me."

Haley sighed, knowing he was right. She shouldn't lie to her parents, and she knew they would most likely uncover their secret anyways. Her dad would probably drop in at five in the morning for a little "visit" and see Nathan's car still parked in the driveway. It would be just her luck. "I guess you're right," she answered quietly. "And you are such a great guy for not wanting to lie to my parents." She smiled and leaned over to give him a gentle kiss.

"I guess you really are rubbing off on me," he mumbled with a smile. They shared another kiss before getting out of the vehicle. Nathan grabbed their two duffle bags and followed Haley up the front steps. He noticed that she didn't knock and instead walked right in. The fact that her family was all so obviously close made him smile.

"Mom, Dad," Haley called, walking through the house. She told Nathan he could set their bags by the steps, and so he did. Taking his hand in hers and giving it a reassuring squeeze, she led them to the kitchen, where she could see both of her parents and the children through the window above the sink. "Come on."

As soon as they were outside, two young kids came running up to Haley. They both threw their arms around her legs, and she hugged them back with a big smile on her face. "Hey, guys."

"Aunt Haley, I missed you," the little girl said. "You said you were going to come back sooner."

Running a hand through the child's hair, Haley sighed. "I know I did, sweetie, but school has been keeping me really busy. And I know it's been keeping you busy, too, missy."

The little girl smiled and nodded her head. "That's because I'm in first grade now. We actually have to do homework."

"What a tragedy," Haley mumbled, throwing a smile Nathan's way.

"Is that your boyfriend?" the child asked. "You're holding hands."

Even though it was a child speaking to her, Nathan still noticed the light blush that covered Haley's cheeks. God, she was so sexy.

"As a matter of fact, he is," Haley replied. "This is Nathan. And Nathan, this is Gracie."

Nathan held his hand out to the little girl and smiled when she took it. "It's nice to meet you, Gracie."

After releasing his hand, Gracie regarded him curiously. "Do you like my Aunt Haley?"

Nathan nodded his head. "I sure do."

"A lot?"

He nodded again.

"Good," Gracie answered with a big smile. "You're cute."

Haley's mouth dropped open. She looked up and watched her parents walking over, the baby cradled in her mother's arms. "Since when does my niece think boys are cute? A few weeks ago you told me that boys had cooties and that you couldn't talk to them because they were contagious." She raised an eyebrow at the six-year-old.

Gracie shrugged her shoulders.

"My baby," Haley's father said as he approached his youngest daughter.

In a flash Haley was in her father's arms. They held each other tightly for a few seconds before she pulled way. "I missed you, Daddy. And you, Mom," she added, turning to give her mother a side hug.

"We missed you, too," her mother replied with a wide smile. Seeing her daughter for the first time in weeks, and better yet seeing her with a boy by her side, was very exciting.

Haley gave them each another smile before making her way over to Nathan's side again. She took his hand in hers and locked their fingers together. "This is Nathan," she said with a wide smile on her face. "Babe, this is my dad, Jimmy, and my mom, Lydia."

Nathan shook both of their hands and smiled. "It's very nice to meet you both."

"Likewise," Jimmy replied stiffly. He couldn't help but want to look the boy up and down. If he was dating his baby girl, he had better know just how special she was.

"We've heard a lot about you," Lydia added with a sweet smile.

Nathan glanced at Haley, and she smiled shyly. "You guys have to get going pretty soon, right?"

"Yeah, our reservations are in like half an hour," Lydia replied, handing the baby over to her daughter. "We'll just go grab our stuff really quick and then come back down to say goodbye." She knew her husband was apprehensive about leaving them alone together, but she also knew that her baby girl was smart enough to know a good guy when she saw one. The men in their family were always so overprotective of her youngest daughter, and although she understood why it was time to let go. She could make her own decisions. Pulling her husband inside, she left the couple outdoors with the children.

"You haven't said much," Haley observed, crouching down in front of the four-year-old boy who Nathan assumed was Gracie's little brother. "Did you miss me?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders and struggled to keep the smile threatening to overtake his face at bay.

"Oh, really?" Haley asked with a large smile. Her free hand instantly went to his belly and began tickling him. Her nephew had always been ticklish, even when he was a baby.

His uncontrollable laughter soon filled the air, and he doubled over, trying to push her hand away. After a moment, he relented. "Okay! I missed you."

"Yeah? How much?" she asked.

He held his hand up and placed his index finger and thumb about an inch apart.

"I don't think so," Haley mumbled, beginning to tickle him again. When he said he'd missed her again, she repeated her question. "How much?"

This time the boy's arms flew out, and he stretched them as far apart as they would go.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," Haley said with a satisfied smile. She stood up again and ruffled his hair. "This is Logan," she said, introducing him to Nathan.

"Hi, Logan," Nathan said, looking down at the boy.

"Hi," he replied with a shy smile. After a minute he stepped up to the stranger in front of him and held his hand out.

Nathan chuckled before accepting his hand and shaking it slowly. "It's nice to meet you."

Haley smiled, watching Gracie and Logan run back out towards the swing set in the backyard. "And this," she said, moving in front of Nathan, "is William. Also known as the cutest baby on the entire planet." She brushed the baby's dark hair out of his face and then placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

Nathan smiled as he watched her. "He is pretty damn cute." Picking up the baby's hand, he marveled at how small it was compared to his own. He'd never really been around children, much less babies.

They were out there for another good five minutes before Haley decided to bring the kids inside. It was getting dark quickly, and her parents would surely be ready to leave soon. The kids sat down in front of the television, and she and Nathan played with the baby as they waited.

Soon enough, Lydia and Jimmy were descending the stairs, their bags in hand. "You just got here, and now we're leaving. What kind of parents are we?" Jimmy mumbled with a shake of his head.

Haley laughed. "Daddy, it's okay. It's not like I'm alone. Besides I'll see you guys tomorrow before I leave; I promise."

Jimmy nodded his head reluctantly. "Is Nathan staying for dinner?"

Haley bit her lip. Tell the truth or lie? Although it sounded so simple, she knew that for her family, especially her father, it was much more complicated. Nathan spending the night with her, even if it was just to sleep, was a big deal. She knew her father wouldn't fail to recognize that. After a couple seconds of deliberation, she reached a verdict. "Actually, um…Nathan's staying the night with me, and then we're going to drive back together tomorrow." Damn the truth.

Immediately the look on Jimmy's face changed, and neither Haley nor Nathan missed it. Lydia looked shocked as well, but she didn't look quite as angry as her husband. "What do you mean?" he asked. "You can't be serious."

"I'm serious," she assured him. "And it's really not a big deal. I promise, it's fine."

Jimmy narrowed his eyes at his daughter's new boyfriend. "Can I trust you, son?"

Nathan looked up into his girlfriend's father's eyes, and he saw how desperate he was for some reassurance. However, he knew nothing he said would make him feel differently. "Yes, sir. You can definitely trust me."

"Haley, are you sure?" Lydia asked a moment later. "If there were something else going on, you would tell us, wouldn't you?"

Haley sighed. She couldn't believe her parents were going to do this here, in front of Nathan. Not if she had anything to do with it. "Of course, Mom," she replied gently. "Nothing is going on. Nathan is here to help me with the kids. And yes, we are dating. But you've got nothing to worry about." She reached for his hand with her free one. "He's a good guy."

"How do you know that?" Jimmy couldn't help asking.

"Jimmy!" his wife chided.

"You guys are going to be late," Haley mumbled, walking to the front door. She opened it and leaned against the cool wood, waiting for them to leave.

The older couple tentatively made their way out the door, and as they were walking down the steps Jimmy turned around briefly. "Call if you need us, honey."

Haley nodded and then closed the door, taking a deep breath. She knew telling them the truth was a bad idea. Nathan's voice soon interrupted her thoughts, and she smiled at him.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Definitely," she answered immediately. "And don't…worry about my dad. It's nothing personal. He just doesn't trust people he doesn't know."

Nathan nodded slowly, but he still couldn't help feeling like her father hated him already. "But you trust me, right?" he asked softly.

Haley walked over to him and caressed his cheek with her free hand as the baby in her other arm began to stir. "I trust you," she whispered before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

The baby quickly fell asleep again, and after placing him in his crib Haley made her way out to the living room with the baby monitor. "So, what do you two munchkins want to eat?" she asked, facing her niece and nephew.

"Macaroni and cheese!" they both replied in unison.

Nathan laughed from the other side of the room. "I see you've passed it on," he said as they both walked into the kitchen.

She shrugged and smiled. "What can I say? I make a mean macaroni and cheese."

"Oh, yeah? Do I get to have some?" He sidled up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, placing a few wet kisses on her neck.

"Of course," she replied.

He pulled away and turned her around to face him, smirking at her. "I wasn't talking about the food, Hales." He kissed her slowly, letting his hands wander up and down her sides.

Haley bit back a moan but eventually managed to step away from him. "Hey, save it for later, buster." She slapped his butt playfully before beginning to move around the kitchen.

Nathan watched her cook, loving every minute of it. Not only did she know exactly what she was doing, she looked incredibly sexy doing it. He could easily picture himself and Haley doing this someday with their own kids, and at that thought he smiled. He had never in his life thought about having kids; the thought had never even crossed his mind. But now that he knew Haley, he couldn't stop thinking about it, and after seeing her with her niece and nephews he knew she would make a great mother someday.

Haley prepared dinner and then called Gracie and Logan in to eat. They all four ate together, and she was surprised at how much Logan started talking to Nathan. Gracie had always been chatty, but her brother had been the more reserved one. It usually took him months to warm up to one single person, so the fact that he was taking such an interest in her boyfriend was definitely reassuring. After dinner, she put all the dishes in the dishwasher and then got the kids changed into their pajamas. They all ended up on the living room floor playing Jenga, and when she heard William's cries from the baby monitor Haley got up to change him. Then she took a seat on the couch as she fed him a bottle and watched her boyfriend and her family. Nathan had a kid on either side of him, and he was alternating between them. Logan was playing with his cars, and apparently his and Nathan's vehicles were having some sort of a race. Gracie was redecorating her dollhouse, and every couple minutes she would ask Nathan's opinion on something. Haley could not wipe the smile off her face as she watched them interact. It shocked her that he had never been around kids before; he seemed like such a natural with them.

Bedtime came and went quickly, and Haley and Nathan tucked the kids in together. Haley read them a story as Nathan checked on the baby. William had been pretty restless after that bottle, but it seemed he had finally been able to fall asleep again. Nathan was thankful because although the kid was cute, the crying got old fast.

Haley closed both of the kids' doors quietly before making her way downstairs and to the guest bedroom where she and Nathan would be sleeping. She wouldn't have felt right staying in her sister's room, especially not with her boyfriend. "They're out," she told him, shutting their door. She turned on the baby monitor on the dresser and then made her way over to the bed, slipping under the covers. Nathan was already under them on his side.

"I'm wiped," he confessed with a chuckle. "They're pretty awesome kids though."

She nodded and smiled. "Yeah, they are. They've got the best parents."

Nathan looked at her and found her hand under the sheets. "You're going to make a great mother someday."

For some reason Haley's eyes filled with tears at that. Before she knew what she was doing, she had launched herself across the bed and pressed her lips against his. She forcefully pushed her tongue past his lips, exploring his mouth endlessly.

Nathan quickly rolled over so that he was on top of her and began kissing his way down her neck, stopping to suck on the certain places that he already knew drove her crazy. His hands trailed down her sides until they reached the hem of her t-shirt, and he pushed it up a bit so his fingers could begin stroking her bare skin. "You are so sexy," he whispered into her ear, grinding his lower half into hers. He couldn't help it. He wanted her.

Haley responded and wrapped her legs around his hips. She pulled his head back to hers and kissed him passionately. Eventually her hands moved from his neck to the bottom of his shirt, and breaking the kiss momentarily she pulled it over his head and tossed it onto the floor. Her eyes appraised his chiseled form lying above her, and unconsciously she licked her lips in anticipation. As she kissed him again, one hand held onto his shoulder while the other moved down his chest slowly. She continued her journey until she felt the material of his jeans below her fingertips, and she quickly unbuttoned them and pulled the zipper down.

"Whoa, whoa," Nathan said, instantly pulling away and bringing his hand to still her movements. "What are you doing?" he asked breathlessly.

"I…I don't know. I thought…I thought you wanted me to," she mumbled, looking away.

Nathan released a deep breath and turned her head so she was looking directly at him. "I did, Haley. And I do. But what matters is that it's what you want. And I know you're not ready to have sex with me. We've only been together for a week."

Her eyes burned with tears, and she managed to move out from under him. Moving onto her side of the bed, she turned her back to him and blinked back the tears she felt were coming.

Nathan sighed and moved over to her, tentatively placing a hand on her arm. "Babe, I want you to be ready when we take that step. I know your virginity is a big deal to you, and-"

"I'm not a virgin," she interrupted him, her voice quivering with unshed tears.

"What?" he asked, clearly confused. He watched as she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

Haley drew in a deep breath. "I'm not a virgin," she repeated, quieter this time.

He furrowed his brow and moved into a sitting position. "I don't understand, Haley. I thought that's why you were so guarded about sex. When…who…when did you have sex?" As the words left his lips, pictures of Haley fucking some other guy wouldn't stop running through his mind. He felt like his head was going to explode at the jealousy those images made him feel.

"Two years ago," she whispered, still keeping her eyes on the ceiling. "I'm…I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just…I really don't like to talk about it." A few hot tears rolled down her cheeks, and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip to keep her from crying louder.

"Who?"

"Nathan, it really doesn't mat-"

"Yes it does," he interrupted her. "It matters, Haley."

Haley continued to chew on her lip, but she closed her eyes, not being able to keep them open any longer. She was so exhausted. "Nathan, can we please not go there?" she whispered.

He sighed in response, rubbing his hands over his face. When he looked over and saw the tear tracks on her face, he immediately moved closer and ran the back of his hand over her cheek. He hadn't even noticed that she'd been crying. "Why are you crying?" he asked quietly.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and took a deep breath. "Because it's not something I'm proud of, Nathan. It…it wasn't a very good experience, and he wasn't a very good guy."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. "The thought of you with another guy just…I can't even explain it."

She turned onto her side so she was facing him and moved her body in close to his. "I know. Just hold me tonight, okay? I need to feel safe."

He nodded slowly, pulling her body impossibly close to his own. He placed a lingering kiss on the top of her head. "Go to sleep, baby." His own eyes closed, and soon he was asleep and dreaming of the girl in his arms.

Haley, however, lay awake for quite some time. Her tears were silent, and she clung to his body so tightly she was surprised it wasn't waking him up. The fact that she had basically just lied to his face was something she couldn't bear the thought of. And knowing that one of these days she would have to come clean and tell him the truth about her past, hurt even worse.


	5. Chapter 5

_Say you will, say you will_

_Give me one more chance_

_At least give me time to change your mind_

_That always seems to heal the wounds_

_If I can get you to dance_

Nathan furrowed his brow as he approached Haley's dorm room. He immediately assumed that Brooke wasn't there because surely, she would be complaining about the fact that Fleetwood Mac was blaring instead of Beyonce. And knowing them both the way he did, Haley would have ended up conceding. Stopping in front of the door, he knocked, and after doing it a second time he just walked in. It was obvious that the music was too loud for anyone to hear the knocking. As soon as he stepped into the room, a wide smile spread across his face at the sight before him. Haley was standing up shouting the words to the song. Her back was turned to him as she swayed her hips and swung her arms to the beat. It was clear she didn't know anyone was watching because although he found it to be adorable, she looked ridiculous. Still smiling, he continued to watch her and listen to her voice as she practically screamed the lyrics.

_Something in you put a hold on my heart_

_It's hard to believe now_

_Here is a place that will never be dark_

_I remember that place_

_That kind of touch_

_Electricity of love_

_That certain kind of grace_

_That you love because you_

_Become someone else in an instant_

Haley continued singing and then started spinning around until she noticed Nathan standing in her doorway, an amused smirk on his face. Her face immediately got hot and she stopped moving. She watched him as he started moving towards her while he clapped his hands. Realizing that the music was still playing incredibly loud, she quickly walked to her radio and turned it off. "Stop it," she said with a blush once he reached her.

"What?" he asked innocently, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I thought it was cute."

"Yeah, I'll bet you did," she mumbled, laughing.

Nathan smiled and nodded his head. "It's weird, but you know what? I'm actually kind of turned on."

If possible, Haley's blush deepened even more, and she buried her head in his chest.

"I'm serious," he whispered into her hair. "Let's make out."

Haley laughed as she pulled her head away from his chest, but then her expression turned serious. "No, we are not making out. You have gotten out of talking to me about this for almost a week now. No more."

"I can't help that I'm a good kisser, Hales," he joked.

She gave him a stern look and crossed her arms over her chest, even though he was still holding onto her waist. "Nathan, you need to tell me what he said. He's my father, and I know how he can be sometimes. I need to know. You've been acting strangely since we got back."

Nathan sighed and finally pulled his hands away from her body, running them through his hair. "It's not that big of a deal, Haley. Fathers always have talks with their daughter's boyfriends. It's normal."

She raised an eyebrow at him before softening her face. She uncrossed her arms and cupped his face as she leaned in to place a long, gentle kiss on his lips. "Nathan, please just tell me," she whispered, pressing her forehead against his. "I know he said something to you."

He closed his eyes briefly, and when he reopened them he knew he had to tell her the truth. She'd been trying to get it out of him for almost a week now, but thankfully he had avoided it. It's not like he had anything to hide. He just didn't want the subject of him and her father pushing her to do anything or tell him anything that she wasn't ready for. She had to tell him in her own time. Now, though, as he looked into her soulful brown eyes, he knew he had no choice. This was his girlfriend, and although they'd only been together for two weeks he already knew that they were meant to be together. He didn't know where he'd be without her, and he didn't want to know. She was it for him. "He said there was an incident," he whispered, watching her eyes to gauge her reaction.

Immediately Haley's breaths became more sporadic, and she took a step away from him. When he reached for her, she pushed his hand away and then took a few more steps back.

"Hales," Nathan prompted. When her father had first said that word to him, he hadn't really thought much of it. Haley was always responsible and always doing what she thought was right. What kind of trouble could she possibly get into? Her father was probably blowing it all out of proportion, but he had to know. But seeing Haley like this, physically distancing herself from him, had his mind spinning. She was practically hyperventilating, for Christ's sake. This wasn't something small, and he knew that now.

Haley took a moment to get her breathing back under control and then placed her hands on her desk to steady herself. "What…what exactly did he say to you?"

Nathan asked her to take a seat on the bed, but she refused. After a few more tries, he got her to sit down, and he sat in the chair at her desk, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. After all, a few moments ago she hadn't wanted him to touch her. Apprehensively, he began telling her about his entire conversation with her father.

"_Daddy, please," Haley begged. "We really need to go." _

"_It's okay, honey. I just want a word with him. It won't take long, and I'll behave myself. I promise," Jimmy swore._

"_You know he's not going to let up," Lydia chimed in. "You might as well just get it over with." _

_Haley sighed and rolled her eyes at her parents. "Whatever. You've got five minutes." She and her mother made their way out of the house to continue talking outside. God, she was so nervous for Nathan. She knew how her father could be, and although she knew he didn't mean anything by it he could be pretty intense when it came to protecting her. It was comforting and annoying all at the same time. _

"_So how did you meet my daughter?" Jimmy asked, eyeing Nathan carefully._

_Shit. It's not like he could say he met Haley in the coed bathrooms at Duke after they both just happened to get out of the shower at the same time. That probably wouldn't go over so well. "Um, we met at a café on campus," he told him. Truthfully that had only been the second time he'd ever seen her, so it wasn't a huge stretch._

_Jimmy nodded slowly, weighing the information. "And what is it that you want from my daughter?" _

"_I'm sorry. What?" Nathan asked. _

"_Let me rephrase. What is it about her that interests you? What do you like about her?" _

_Nathan breathed a silent sigh of relief. Before he wouldn't have known what to say, but this was going to be easy. And he certainly wouldn't have to lie about his interests in Haley. "Well, sir…as you know, she's very smart. She keeps me on my toes. She has a great sense of humor. She's beautiful and has a good heart. And she's probably the kindest person I know. Honestly, I just love everything about her, sir." _

_As he looked into the boy's eyes, Jimmy knew he was telling him the truth. Nathan's intentions were pure and he wasn't out to hurt his daughter, but he couldn't help wanting to protect her. "I'm sorry, son," he released with a sigh. "But since the incident, I and the rest of my family have been very worried about Haley. It's hard to know whether or not she's okay because she's away at college, and she refuses to talk about it. But I'm sure you can understand my reasons for being so resistant to new people entering my daughter's life." _

_Nathan furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. "What incident?" _

"_I'm sorry," Jimmy repeated. "I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't mean to. Haley's probably waiting for you." _

"_Please tell me what you're talking about," Nathan responded. _

_Jimmy sighed and shook his head. "Haley's the only one who can do that. I'm sorry I mentioned it, Nathan." _

_Before Nathan had a chance to reply, Jimmy had opened the front door and had gone outside. He stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds before following in the older man's steps. What the hell was he talking about? What incident? His mind was racing, but soon he'd calmed himself down. Haley couldn't have done anything that serious. She was a good person, and she never did anything wrong. And although he knew he had to ask Haley about it, he didn't want to push her to tell him something from her past that she didn't want him to know about. Everybody has skeletons, right?_

"Son of a bitch," Haley mumbled, standing up. "I can't believe him."

"Hales, he didn't mean to say anything," Nathan reassured her, standing up as well.

Beginning to pace the room, she threw her hands up in the air. "But he still did, Nathan. It doesn't matter whether he meant to or not. I've let go of the past. He needs to do the same."

"Have you?"

Looking up at him, she stopped pacing. "What?"

Nathan sighed and took a tentative step towards her. "Have you let go of the past?"

As her eyes began to fill with tears, Haley turned around so her back was to him. She wrapped her arms around herself and glued her eyes to the floor.

Nathan walked to her slowly, and when his hands landed on her hips she jumped. "Shh," he whispered, turning her around so she was facing him. "Tell me what happened, baby. Please let me in. It's not going to change how I feel about you."

When she blinked, a couple of tears fell from her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. She tried to tell him. She tried to form the words, but they wouldn't come out. And when she thought about what he would think of her after he knew, she realized that she couldn't tell him. It was in her past, and that's where it needed to stay. "I can't, Nathan," she whispered, pressing her body into his. "I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around her petite frame. He felt her hands clinging to his shirt, and he placed a kiss on the top of her head as he tried to soothe her. There was nothing he hated more than seeing her cry. A person as beautiful as Haley shouldn't have to feel the way he knew she did. She was too kind.

Haley cried quietly in his arms for quite some time before she finally lifted her eyes to meet his. "I'm sorry," she whispered again, caressing his cheek.

"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for," he whispered back, running a hand through her silky blonde locks. "When you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen."

Closing her eyes briefly, Haley sighed. She knew that day would never come, but she was not in the mood to argue with him right now. She just wanted to be with him and to feel him. His presence always made her feel better, and right now that's all she needed. She needed to take her mind off of the anger she was feeling towards her father and the regrets she had about her past. So lifting up onto her toes, she brought her lips to Nathan's and slowly kissed him.

Nathan kissed her back, pulling her body even closer to his own. He parted her lips with his tongue and heard her moan into his mouth when their tongues collided. When he felt her tugging on his shirt, he pulled away briefly and removed the article from his body.

Haley gave him a soft smile before pressing her lips against his again. God, she loved the feel of him. Her hands ran over his biceps and down his back before moving to his chest. She slowly lowered them over his stomach and caressed his skin intimately. Breaking the kiss a moment later, she moved her lips to his neck, smiling at the low sounds he was emitting. She sucked on his Adam's apple for a few seconds before transferring her attention to his chest. She peppered the area with kisses and then licked a hot stripe over his abs. "You taste so good," she whispered into his ear when she returned to her full height.

Nathan growled and pulled her body against his, kissing her again. Soon his lips had moved to her neck as he ground his lower half into hers.

As she tilted her head to the side to give him better access to her neck, Haley's hands moved to his butt. She could feel his very hard member pressing against her stomach, and the sensation was turning her on to no end. She felt him backing her up, and when the back of her knees hit her bed she fell back onto it.

Nathan climbed on top of her quickly and attached his lips to her neck again as one of his hands snaked up under her shirt. He caressed the soft skin of her belly before tentatively moving his hand higher. When she didn't stop him, he cupped her breast over her bra.

Haley bit her lip but couldn't stifle the moan that she released a moment later. "Take it off," she whispered.

He pulled away and looked at her questioningly. When he noticed that there were still tear tracks on her face, he sighed heavily and pulled his hand out of her shirt. "Haley, we can't do this right now."

"Do what, Nathan? Every time we even come close to having sex or going farther than making out, you stop us. Yet you seemed to have no problem sleeping with half of the other girls in this school." Haley looked away from him. "I know it's stupid, but it kind of makes me feel like I'm not sexy. You've had sex with all those other girls, but you won't have sex with me."

Nathan buried his face in her neck and breathed in her scent. "It's not like that, baby," he whispered, pulling away to look at her. He brought her face back to his and nuzzled his nose against hers. "You know it isn't. I want you so bad right now. I always do. You are so fucking sexy, Hales." He kissed her hard and pressed his hips into hers once more. "Don't ever doubt that. But you're vulnerable right now, and I'd hate to take advantage of that."

Haley knew he was right, but she couldn't help contesting him. Knowing that he had been with so many other girls was incredibly intimidating, and she couldn't stand to think about it. It literally made her sick to her stomach. "Why does it matter?" she mumbled. "You slept with drunk and vulnerable women all the time before. What's changed?"

"I have," he told her, staring into her eyes intensely. "You've changed me. And I never cared about any of those women. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. I care about you…so much, Haley. More than I've ever cared for anyone. And when we make love, it's going to be special. This isn't special," he said with a chuckle as he glanced around her dorm room.

"But it could be," she said softly, placing a hand behind his neck to pull his head down to hers. "We could make it special."

Nathan kissed her lips gently, slowly slipping his tongue past her lips. He let it tangle with hers for a few minutes before pulling away and resting his forehead against hers. "You deserve better than this, and you're going to get it. I'm going to give you everything."

"God, you are so sexy when you talk like that," Haley mumbled before attaching her lips to his again. She kissed him hungrily, holding his body against hers tightly. "I feel like you already know me so much better than I know myself," she said after breaking the kiss. "It's kind of scary."

Nathan chuckled, and when she smiled he kissed her again. "I love your smile."

She laughed before rolling them over so she was straddling his hips. "How about we make out for a few hours and then go out for dinner?" she suggested, her hands resting on his bare chest.

"You read my mind," he replied with a smirk, pulling her head back down to his.

* * *

"God, that was amazing," Nathan said with a sigh as he patted his stomach.

"Better than making out?" Haley questioned with an eyebrow raised. She slipped her jacket off and tossed it over the back of her desk chair.

Nathan pretended to think but finally shook his head. "Definitely not. It is a close second though." He lifted his wrist to look at his watch. "I'd better go. It's getting pretty late."

"Aw, is it past your bedtime?" Haley joked.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are very funny?" he asked with a smile. He wrapped his arms around her waist, sighing into her hair.

Haley smiled, holding onto him just as tightly as he clung to her. "Stay with me tonight," she whispered.

Nathan pulled out of her embrace and furrowed his brow at her. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged her shoulders, a blush slowly covering her cheeks. "I kind of haven't been able to sleep all week," she said as she shuffled from one foot to the other. "Since we shared a bed that night, I keep tossing and turning, hoping that I'll find you next to me. But I never do."

Nathan smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Of course I'll stay with you, Hales. But what about Brooke?"

"Who the hell cares?" she muttered with a flip of her hand. "No, I actually think she's out at a party tonight. She may not even come back. She'll probably end up crashing in your room or passing out in the bushes."

He laughed in response to that as he pulled the covers on her bed back. "Are you ready for bed?"

"More than ready," Haley replied, trying to stifle a yawn. Without bothering to change her clothes, she climbed into the small bed and automatically snuggled up to her boyfriend when he crawled in next to her. "You know, you're the first guy I've ever shared a bed with," she confessed.

Nathan smiled at that before he turned to face her with a confused look on his face. "But…"

She knew where he was going. "I've had sex. I've just…never actually _slept _with a guy, you know?"

He nodded slowly and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I don't know how this'll sound, but I really wish it could be the other way around. I wish that we could have been each other's firsts."

Haley nodded. "Me too," she whispered. "I'm sorry for freaking out on you earlier. I know my dad didn't mean to say anything." She took a deep breath. "I'm also sorry that I didn't tell you what he was referring to. I'm just not ready for that, okay?"

As hard as it was for him to do, Nathan nodded his head. "I understand. But I'm here whenever you need me. I always will be."

She smiled, scooting even closer to him as his arms wrapped around her small frame. "Same goes for you."

"Sweet dreams, Hales," he said when he noticed that her eyes had been closed for quite some time. He noticed her breathing become heavier and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head before drifting off himself.

* * *

A loud thumping woke Haley up with a jolt. She looked around the room, noticing that Brooke wasn't there but that she was still wrapped in her boyfriend's strong embrace. She smiled momentarily before the banging ensued again, and she realized it was coming from the door. Trying not to wake Nathan up, she carefully slipped out of his arms and walked over to the door, throwing it open so as to stop the noise as soon as possible. When she saw her eldest brother standing in the hallway, her face became a puzzled one, and she crossed her arms over her chest as she stifled a yawn. "Brian? What are you doing here?"

"What, I can't visit my little sis at college?" he asked, pretending to be offended.

Haley looked at him skeptically.

"Okay, Dad called me and-"

"Told you I had a new boyfriend?" Haley guessed. She watched him nod. "Okay, as good as it is to see you, the trip wasn't necessary, Brian. Dad's just paranoid, and clearly so are you. Nathan's a good guy, and I don't need you, Dad, or anyone else checking up on me. I'm a big girl."

"Baby, who's at the door?" Nathan mumbled sleepily as he got up out of bed.

At hearing a male voice inside his baby sister's dorm room, Brian immediately pushed his way into the room. "What the hell is this?" he practically yelled, looking at Nathan.

Haley closed the door so that they would disturb the other students as little as possible and then stepped in front of her brother. "Bri, it's fine. Quit being paranoid."

"There's a guy sleeping in your bed, and I'm being paranoid?" Brian asked. "I don't think so, Haley." Pushing his way around her, he shoved Nathan with both hands. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Haley gasped and immediately stepped in between them. "Stop it, Brian. I'm serious. Yes, Nathan spent the night. But in case you haven't noticed we are both fully dressed, not that it's any of your business. Nathan's a good guy, and maybe if you and Dad gave him a chance you'd know that."

"Haley, I can't just sit here and watch-"

Interrupting her brother, Haley said, "Watch what? Watch me be happy? Because that's what I am, Bri. And if you and Dad can't accept that, then that's your problem, not mine." She crossed her arms over her chest and opened the door. "You need to go. And tell Dad not to send any more people here to spy on me. It's ridiculous."

"I'm not spying on you," he insisted.

"Whatever you say," she retorted, pushing him out of the door. "I miss you, but we're not doing this. I'm sorry." After shutting the door in his face, she turned around to face her boyfriend.

"Wow," Nathan breathed as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Haley sighed and sat down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, baby. He's even worse than my father."

"Yeah, I noticed," he mumbled. Everything that happened between him and Haley just kept reminding him of the fact that she was keeping something from him. And although he wanted to give her space and time to figure out how to tell him, it was hard to deal with.

She placed a lingering kiss on his temple and then sighed. "Do you regret staying here last night?"

That got his attention. Nathan found her eyes and gave her a reassuring smile. "I could never regret spending time with you. I don't regret meeting your parents or babysitting your sister's kids either. Every moment I spend with you is one that would rather be spent doing nothing else. You can always be sure of that."

Haley smiled at him, glancing at the clock. "And on that note, you have basketball practice in twenty minutes. You'd better get going, stud."

"Stud, huh? I wonder what I did to earn that title." He flashed her a smirk.

She laughed before standing up and shaking her head at him. "I'll see you later, baby."

"Okay," he whined, groaning as he stood up. "I'll call you." He grabbed his jacket off the end of the bed and gave her a quick kiss.

"Bye," she called after him. Unfortunately, Nathan having basketball practice in twenty minutes also meant that she had class, so she had to get her butt moving. She had a busy day ahead of her.

* * *

"First official day of practice," Lucas mumbled as the guys stretched. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm excited."

Nathan scoffed. "You would be."

"At least we're all ready," Jake piped in. "All those workouts and conditioning practices were brutal."

Lucas and Nathan both nodded in agreement. Now it was finally legal for them to hold real, organized practices with basketballs, and everyone on the team was in tip top shape. It was impossible for them not to be with the way they'd been working out.

"Let's get this party started," Grant practically yelled as he made his way over to the three guys he considered to be his friends. They, however, didn't find him to be anything of the sort. "You girls ready?"

No one said anything. It was best to just let him get all of his assy comments out of the way. Otherwise, their retorts would just spur him on.

Grant smirked as he began to stretch. "Oh, you will not believe the honey I ran into on the way over here. She was so fucking fine."

"You say that every day, Grant," Lucas mumbled as he rolled his eyes.

Grant laughed and shook his head. "I know, but this time I'm serious. She dropped all her books, and when she bent over to pick them up I had the perfect view of her ass. Goddamn, what I wouldn't give to get inside that."

"So you just stood there and watched her pick up her books?" Nathan asked. "It didn't cross your mind to, I don't know, help her out?"

"What a gentleman," Jake added. "I'll bet she's really into you."

"Actually she is," Grant retorted. "We talked, and I walked her to class. Why the hell do you think I just got here? Anyways, her name's Haley, and she's got _the _best rack of any girl at this school, I swear to God."

Nathan stopped stretching and stood up straight. "What did you just say?"

"Um, she's got the best rack I've ever seen."

Nathan shook his head and took a step closer to his teammate. "No. What did you say her name was?"

"Haley."

"Haley what?"

Grant thought for a moment, and when it came to him he snapped his fingers. "Haley James. That's it."

Lucas stood up then, knowing that his brother was most likely about to do something he would regret. Jake did the same.

"Is this some sort of a fucking joke?" Nathan asked.

"What the hell are you talking about, dude?" Grant asked, smacking him with his towel. "You know how it is. I can't just pass on a girl like this. If you saw her, you'd understand. Fuck, I can't imagine how good she'd feel riding me. My bet is it won't be too long before I find out," he finished with a smirk.

Nathan raised his fist, but Lucas stepped in between the two men. "Don't, Nathan," his brother told him. "He's not worth it."

Grant furrowed his brow at Nathan. "Why the fuck are you being a pussy? We operate the same way, dude. You should understand."

"Oh, I understand," Nathan gritted out. "I understand that you better shut your fucking mouth right now and stop talking about my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" his teammate questioned. "Is that supposed to make me stay away?"

"This is your warning, you little bitch," Nathan mumbled as he saw the coach approaching their group. "Stay away from her."


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys are amazing! Thank you for your continued reviews. It's wonderful to know how dedicated the readers are to this story. I would have updated last night, but I got dragged along on a bit of a road trip. But the chapter's here now. It took a lot of debating and thinking to figure out where I wanted to go with this one, but I stand by my decision. I hope you guys enjoy it and continue to review! **

* * *

"Haley!" Nathan called upon entering her dorm room. After finishing with the first practice, which turned out to be just as grueling as their conditioning workouts, and taking a shower, he knew he had to find Haley. Everything Grant had said had really shaken him up, and hearing someone talk that way about a girl as amazing as Haley had his temper raging. He was shooting glares in Grant's direction for the duration of practice and even got called out on it by the coach a couple of times. Apparently it was time for him to be reminded that basketball was a team sport. But as soon as practice ended and they were back in the locker room, Grant continued to make nasty comments about Haley. Once again Lucas and Jake had to hold Nathan back, but he was rearing and ready to go. "Haley!" he called again, his eyes frantically searching the small space.

"She's not here," Brooke spoke up from her bed. Three separate fashion magazines were sprawled out in front of her, and she appeared to be reading all of them at once. It was a little frightening.

Nathan took another quick look around just to make sure. "Where is she then?" he asked, running a hand through his hair feverishly. He didn't mean to be acting like such a psycho, but he needed to talk to her and find out just what had happened between her and Grant. Surely, a girl as smart as Haley saw right through him. The guy was a total jackass, and he always had been. None of the other players liked him, and they only tolerated him because he helped them out on the court. He was one hell of a player.

"Not my turn to watch her," Brooke mumbled sarcastically. As she looked up and got a good look at Nathan, she furrowed her brow. "What's wrong with you?"

With a sigh, he made his way to the door. "I need to talk to Haley. You really don't know where she is?"

Brooke shrugged and picked up one of the magazines to get a closer look at something on one of the pages. "She said something about the library after class, so maybe there."

Nathan nodded and thanked her before rushing out of the room to head to the library. It took him all of about five minutes to get there, and after making his way through the entire structure he finally found Haley sitting at one of the back tables. She was alone and appeared to be studying. She had the look on her face which she only got when she was concentrating really hard or trying to figure out a complicated problem. "Babe," he called as he approached her table.

Haley smiled when she heard Nathan's voice and looked up from her notes. "Hey," she greeted him, leaning up to peck his lips. She motioned for him to sit, and once he had she asked the million dollar question. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you, um…I don't want to sound weird about this, but did a guy walk you to class this morning?" he asked cautiously. He didn't want to sound like an overbearing boyfriend; that was the last thing Haley needed with her dad and brother acting so out of whack. He knew how childish they made her feel, and he didn't want to make that worse for her. But he needed her to know that Grant was a bad guy.

Haley set her pen down and looked up at him. "Um, yeah. Why?"

Nathan sighed and leaned forward in his chair. "Just be careful, okay? I know him. He's on the basketball team, and let's just say that when he got to practice Lucas and Jake had to hold me back." There was no point in lying about any of this. Nathan wanted to prove to Haley that he was being completely open and honest with her so that she felt she could do the same. It was all about give and take, and he was slowly learning that.

"Why? Did he say something?" Haley questioned. After he nodded, she asked, "What did he say?"

He shook his head and took her hands from across the table. "It doesn't matter. And I'm not trying to control you, okay? Just look out around him. He doesn't exactly have the purest of intentions with girls."

Haley nodded and answered slowly, "Okay. But…didn't you kind of used to be just like him? I mean, just a few weeks ago you were doing the same stuff, right?"

"Haley, I was never as bad as Grant," he replied. "Believe it or not; I still had some form of social decency. He doesn't."

"Okay," she said again. "I'll be careful."

He stroked his thumb along the back of her hand and smiled lovingly at her. "Thank you."

* * *

A week passed, and things between Nathan and Haley stayed positive. In a way, they were moving forward in their relationship, but a part of Nathan couldn't help but feel like they were standing still. She still hadn't opened up to him about her past, and he'd be lying if he said it didn't bother him. It wasn't even so much that she was keeping something from him but that he didn't know the severity of it. God, anything could have happened. And he hated the word "incident" now. It sounded so serious. And he hated that he couldn't keep himself from being so overprotective of her; he honestly couldn't help it. Every day he went to practice, and every day he had to listen to Grant spout about how hot Haley was and about all the things he wanted to do to her. Apparently he had walked her to class twice more, and Nathan just couldn't understand it. Haley was letting this pig into her life, and she wasn't even thinking twice about it. But when Nathan had made a move on her, she had resisted tumultuously. But he bit his tongue as often as he could, both about her past and her current relationship with Grant. He didn't want to be the start of any unnecessary fights, especially when they were still getting to know each other.

But with each passing day, Nathan grew more and more attached to his girlfriend. She was amazing, and he couldn't get over the fact that she had chosen him to be her boyfriend. It was very surprising because, especially in Nathan's eyes, she was so much better than him. In fact, she was the best person he knew. And apart from Grant, he saw himself as the worst. Maybe that whole "opposites attract" theory really was true.

Haley lit a few candles throughout her dorm room as she got ready for Nathan to come over. She was excited to finally have some alone time with him because although they had been finding time to hang out it had mostly been in public. And she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss their heated make out sessions. The boy could kiss, and she loved being the one that he wanted to kiss. All her homework had been completed, she had made sure Brooke was out for the night, and her outfit consisted of a pair of tight skinny jeans and a red tank top. After all, they were just hanging out in her dorm room. There was no need to go overboard. Once she had all the candles lit, she set the lighter down on her desk and took a seat on her bed. She took a quick survey of the room and smiled to herself. It was almost six, so Nathan would be there any minute.

Ten minutes later, she heard a knock on the door and furrowed her brow as she stood up to get it. Nathan usually just walked right in, so it couldn't be him. She made it to the door quickly and opened it, crossing her arms over her chest when she saw who it was. "Um, what are you doing here, Grant? And how do you know what dorm I'm in?"

Grant flashed her a charming smile and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just good, I guess. I'm here because I wanted to see you. I thought we could hang out."

"Why would we hang out?" Haley asked, confused. "You know I'm with Nathan."

His face faltered as he let out a scoff. "Yeah, I know. But does that mean you can't hang out with any other guys? Short leash, Hales."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I can hang out with whoever I want to. And with that said, goodbye." She started to shut the door, but he stopped it with his hands.

"Haley, please," Grant pled. "I've walked you to class like three times now. That's got to count for something, right? You obviously don't hate me."

"You're right; I don't hate you. But right now, I'm waiting for my _boyfriend _so you need to go," Haley replied. "Because I seriously doubt he would be pleased to see you here."

Grant sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Fine, I'll go. But I'll be seeing you, Haley James." He gave her a wink and then turned on his heel.

Haley scoffed and shut the door behind him. Although she had given him the benefit of the doubt at first, his demeanor was really starting to weigh on her nerves. He hit on her every time he walked her to class, and most of the time she just let it go. She wasn't interested in him in that way at all, and she didn't want to be with anyone but Nathan. The fact that he couldn't comprehend that was a little ridiculous. Making her way back to her bed, Haley sat down and turned her iPod on after placing the ear buds in her ears.

7:15… Haley dialed Nathan's number and waited for him to pick up, but it went straight to voicemail. "Babe, where are you? I'm starting to get a little worried here. You were supposed to be here over an hour ago. Call me when you get this, okay?"

8:30… Now she was really started to get scared. Nathan had never blown her off before; why would he be doing it now? She'd called his phone multiple times, but it went straight to voicemail every time, without fail. What if something was wrong?

10:00… It had been four hours since he was supposed to be at her dorm room. Where the hell was he? After she tried his phone again, she decided to try Lucas's. Maybe he knew where his brother was.

"Hello?"

"Luke, hey," Haley greeted him. Deciding to cut right to the chase, she asked, "Do you know where Nathan is?"

"Um, no. I'm with Brooke right now," Lucas replied. "Why? What's up?"

Haley sighed into the receiver. "He…we were supposed to hang out tonight, and he was supposed to come over here at like six, but he never showed up. And he won't answer his phone. It keeps going straight to voicemail. I'm really getting scared, Luke."

"Hales, calm down," he replied. "I'll try to find him. I'm sure it's nothing major, okay? Just be patient. I'll call you back, okay?"

Haley nodded and whispered a reply before hanging up the phone.

11:30… Lucas had called back saying he had no idea where his brother was. He had succeeded in calming Haley down though, telling her he was probably just out studying late, which he knew was a lie. Nathan didn't study, especially not for hours on end.

She had finally fallen asleep but was jolted out of her slumber when she felt a large hand roughly shaking her. "Nathan?" she questioned, squinting up at her boyfriend.

Nathan smiled lazily and crawled on top of her in the bed. "Hi, babe," he mumbled before covering her lips with his own.

Haley kissed him back for a moment before pushing his head away. "Have you been drinking?" He both smelled and tasted of hard liquor.

Nathan brought his hand up in front of her face and held his index finger and thumb apart just slightly. "Just a little, baby," he said, slurring his words. "Do you want some? I could go get you some."

"No, thank you," she mumbled. "Where have you been? I was worried about you."

He shrugged his shoulders and put his lips to her neck. "I was at the bar, but I'm not there anymore."

Haley tried to resist the intense pleasure his lips were evoking, but after only seconds she gave into it and let a long moan out.

"You like that?" Nathan whispered, sucking on her neck again.

"Mhmm," she mumbled, placing her hands in his hair to hold him to her.

Nathan smiled against her skin as he let his hands roam up and down her sides. He found the hem of her tank top and pushed it up slightly so he could caress her bare stomach. "You're really sexy," he muttered. "Can we do it now?"

She furrowed her brow. "Do what?"

"Fuck," he stated bluntly.

Haley pushed his head away from her neck. "What the hell are you talking about? No."

"Please," he whispered, rubbing his lower body into hers. "I'm really hard for you."

"Nathan, I'm not having sex with you tonight," she stated in a stronger voice. "Quit it."

He moved his mouth to hers and kissed her hard as his hand trailed its way down her body again. He found her jeans and made quick work of undoing the button and lowering the zipper. He tried to push them down but felt Haley's hand grab his wrist. "What?" he questioned.

"I said we're not doing that," she told him, releasing her grip on his wrist.

Giving her a small smirk, he moved his hand to her jeans again, this time slipping his hand inside them. "Come on, baby," he mumbled. "You know it'll feel good."

"Nathan!" she yelled, pushing his hand away again. She quickly slid out from beneath him and stood up, buttoning her jeans again. "You need to go."

Letting out a heavy sigh, Nathan stood up from the bed and made his way over to her. "Come on. We can just go to bed. It's fine."

"No, it's not," she whispered, shaking her head as a few tears fell from her eyes. "Just…you need to go."

"I'm not leaving you here with him," Nathan responded, sitting on the bed.

She wanted to ask him what he was talking about, but she really didn't have the energy at the moment. So she stayed silent and watched as he slowly lay back on her bed and passed out. She wiped her eyes and then took a seat on the edge of Brooke's bed, watching him for a long time before she decided to go to sleep.

* * *

Haley watched him as she sat on the edge of her bed. It was almost six in the morning, but she had found it difficult to sleep. Instead she watched him most of the night. She knew she couldn't blame him for what had happened the night before; he had been drunk. But still, she just didn't know if she could be in a relationship with someone as unpredictable as Nathan. It was scary. She ran a hand through his dark hair and watched as he slowly opened his eyes and squinted up at her.

"Hales? What time is it?" Nathan grumbled sleepily.

She shrugged her shoulders and moved her hand down to his cheek. "Almost six."

"Is…is everything okay?" he asked, sitting up against the headboard.

"No," she whispered with a short shake of her head. Spending the night watching Nathan sleep had given her a lot of time to think about their relationship and what each of them wanted out of it.

Nathan immediately grew concerned and placed a hand on her knee. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath and placed her hands in her lap. "Nathan, I really like you."

He smiled softly. "I really like you, too."

She fixed her eyes on her hands and breathed in deeply again. "I'm sorry. I just…I've been thinking a lot about it, and I think that maybe we shouldn't do this. I…I think that we want different things, and it's not fair of me to try and keep you from doing the things that you want to be doing. You are who you are, and I knew that when I met you. It's why I was so hesitant at first."

"Hales-"

"Please let me finish," she interrupted him. "Nathan, I've been through a lot in my life, and I know it's my fault that you don't know everything. But…despite all of that, I'm willing to give you my heart. But that's all I can give you." She took his hand from her knee and placed it over her heart. "And if that's not enough for you, then maybe I'm not enough for you." She struggled to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.

Nathan shook his head and leaned forward so his forehead was against hers. "Haley, that is enough for me."

She shook her head. "It wasn't last night," she whispered.

"Last night? What do you mean, last night?" He furrowed his brow, and when he looked into her eyes he remembered it all. "Shit," he muttered. "Haley, I was drunk. I wasn't myself."

She shrugged and looked down. "Maybe you were, and maybe who you are right now isn't yourself. How can you be sure?"

"I just am," he insisted, caressing her cheek. "That wasn't me, and it never has been, Haley. And I…God, I'm so sorry for making you doubt me. Please just give me another chance."

"Nathan, last night can't happen again," she whispered.

"It won't," he promised quickly.

She closed her eyes briefly and brought a hand up to cling to his shirt. "I need to tell you about what happened to me. I feel like it's holding us back, and I really want to move forward with you." She watched him nod his head. "But first, I need you to tell me why you were drinking last night. You just blew me off, Nathan. I waited for five hours."

He sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. I…I came over here, and I saw you talking to Grant. It freaked me out."

"So you decided to go get drunk?" she asked incredulously.

"I'm not proud of it, okay? It was a stupid thing to do. I'm sorry," he repeated.

Haley sighed. "Well, if you would have heard our conversation I think you would have stayed."

"Why?"

"Because he asked me to hang out with him, and all I said back was that I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested in him. And that's the truth," she stated. "So next time, please just talk to me before you jump to conclusions. I would never lie to you."

He nodded. "I know. I promise."

Haley moved up onto the bed and sat in front of him with her legs crossed. She placed her hands on her knees and took a deep, calming breath. She knew it would take a lot out of her to talk about this. She never did. Peyton and Brooke didn't even know about it, and they were her best friends. Somehow, though, Nathan made her want to be honest, and she knew it was unfair to tell him there was something without letting him know what that something was. "Okay," she said shakily.

Nathan sat up more and crossed his legs as well, scooting closer so that their knees were touching. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Hales," he said softly.

"I know," she said with a small nod. "I want to. I…I need to."

"Okay," he answered simply.

Haley licked her lips and took another deep breath. "Okay, so…it was two years ago. You know how I told you I'm not a virgin?"

He nodded.

"Well, I was dating this guy. It was right after the school year had ended, and there was this big party to celebrate the beginning of summer, and we went together. Even though I'd been going here for a while, I'd never really gone to any big parties because they just weren't my thing. They still aren't." She drew in a shaky breath. "Anyways, we um…we got there, and we were both drinking a little. We danced and mingled and stuff, but then he…he started getting weird. He started drinking more and more, and it was clear that he was drunk. And a little while into the party, he said he was ready to leave, so I asked him where he wanted to go. He brought me outside and down the beach because apparently his parents' beach house was close to where the party was. And…I mean, we'd been dating for a few months, but…I…I shouldn't have gone with him."

Nathan did not like what he was hearing or the direction this story was headed. Haley was crying, which he hated to see, and he reached out to take her hands in his. He gave them both a reassuring squeeze but didn't say anything. He could already feel the anger boiling up inside of him, but a small part of him was clinging to the hope that she wasn't going to say what it sounded like she was.

Haley gave him a small smile as she held his hands. "So we went to his parents' beach house, and he kept drinking. And we were just kind of hanging out, and then we decided to go for a swim. So we both went out onto the beach, but we never got in the water. Instead we just got down in the sand and kind of started making out a little. But it was nothing bad. I mean, no clothes came off or anything. And then he just all of a sudden started getting really grabby. And he kept trying to take my clothes off, but I kept stopping him. For a while, he was fine, and we just kept making out. But then…then he started again, and I just…I couldn't stop him."

"Please tell me he didn't," Nathan whispered, resting his forehead against hers. God, how could anyone hurt her like that? She was such a beautiful person, and she deserved the best. How could anyone not see that? He let go of one of her hands and brought his to the side of him, clenching his fist tightly. She hadn't even finished the story yet, but he had literally never felt so much anger inside himself at once.

Biting her lip, she nodded her head slowly. "I…I screamed, but no one heard me. He was really, really strong. I kept trying, but he just wouldn't stop. So he, um…he took all my clothes off, and he…he raped me," she finished in a whisper.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her tightly. Although he was feeling a ton of anger at the moment, the urge to comfort his girl was stronger. He couldn't believe she had gone through something so traumatic. "Jesus, baby…I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair.

Haley clung to him as she cried into his t-shirt, but after a few more seconds she pulled away. "That's…that's not all, Nathan."

"What do you mean?" he asked lowly. How could there be more? How could she have possibly been put through more than some sadistic rape?

She bit her lip and looked down at her hands, which were now placed securely in her lap again. "After it happened, he just got up and left. And I laid there for…I don't even know how long. But then I…I got up and got dressed and left. But I knew that no matter what, no one could find out. I felt embarrassed and stupid for not realizing what kind of a guy he was, you know?"

"But your parents…" Nathan interjected. Her entire family seemed to know about it, after all.

She nodded. "Yeah, I um…like I said, I didn't plan for anyone to find out. But then…after I had been home for about a month, I started feeling really weird. All of a sudden, I was really tired all the time, and I felt sick. So I went to the doctor, and-"

Nathan cut her off. "Oh, my God," he muttered with a shake of his head. "You…you got pregnant, didn't you?"

"Yes," she croaked out through the tears that were streaming endlessly down her face. "I told my parents I was pregnant, and they freaked out. They seemed so disappointed in me, and I just…I didn't want that. So I told them the truth about what happened. Then all my siblings found out and all my friends from home. You should have seen the way they all looked at me, Nathan." She shook her head. "Like they all felt so sorry for me, but they just wouldn't stop staring."

Nathan took her hands in his again and brought one up to his lips to place a kiss on her fingers. "What happened, Hales?" he urged her.

"I…I lost the baby," she whispered so quietly he almost didn't hear her. She shook her head and tore her hands away from his, using them to wipe the tears from her face. "I was fourteen weeks, and then I just…I lost the baby. They said my body wasn't strong enough to carry a child. And I know it probably doesn't make any sense, but I was heartbroken. I…I still am. Even though it was a product of that horrible night, it was my child, you know?" Haley absentmindedly brought a hand over her stomach. "And it felt like I lost a part of me." She sniffled, trying to compose herself even if only slightly. "So I came back to school and went on with my life. No one here knew about it, and they still don't."

"What about Brooke? And Peyton?" Nathan questioned.

She shook her head. "No, you're…you're the first person I've intentionally told about any of it. My parents tried to get me to see someone, but I can't do that. I won't do that."

"God, baby," Nathan breathed, pulling her in close. "Come here."

After he'd leaned against the headboard again and stretched his legs out in front of him, Haley climbed into his lap and buried her face in his neck. She felt his arms encircle her and found herself feeling vulnerable and extremely safe at the same time.

"I am so sorry you had to go through that," he whispered into her ear as he held her. "I wish I would have known you then. I wish I could have been there for you."

She nodded and whispered, "Me, too." Then she pulled her face from his neck and brought her lips to his for a gentle kiss. "But you're here now."

He continued to hold her, whispering soothing words into her ear every few seconds. He knew it wouldn't take any of the pain of the past away, but it's all he could think to do. There were so many contrasting emotions swirling around inside him, and he didn't know which one should be dominant. They were all scary.

After another few minutes, Nathan pulled back to look into her eyes. "Fuck," he mumbled. "Last night, I…God, I'm so sorry. I must've made you feel like-"

Haley cut him off by pressing her lips against his. "It's okay," she told him once she'd pulled away. "Yes, it scared me. But only because I know that you're better than that. And I…I really am sorry that I'm not ready to give you that part of me yet. I will be one day."

"Don't worry about it," he whispered. "And Hales, what you said at your sister's house…that's not true. You _are _a virgin."

"Nathan, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," he persisted. "I don't care what science or anyone else has to say. What you experienced was not sex."

She sighed quietly and nodded her head. She knew he was right, and in a way she had always known it. It was admitting it that was the hard part. "Well, in that case…even though I'm not ready right now, I want you to know that I can honestly see myself going there with you, Nathan. We haven't even been together for a month, but I already trust you so much. And I know that I want you to be my first."

Nathan's heart swelled at her words, and he placed a long, soft kiss on her lips. "That means so much to me, Hales. And I…thank you for sharing this with me. I can't imagine how hard that must've been for you to do."

Nodding her head, she rested it against his shoulder as he held her. "It was. But I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing it with anyone else." She began tracing small patterns across his chest as she continued to speak. "You make me brave."

Nathan kissed the top of her head and held her closer to him. "You're amazing, Haley," he said softly. "You shouldn't ever think less of yourself. And what happened to you wasn't your fault. You know that, right?"

She nodded again. "In my heart, I know that. But sometimes I can't help but feel differently. I know it's wrong, and I'm working on it. You're helping me get there though."

"Good," he responded. "You look tired, baby. Get some sleep."

"Will you be here when I wake up?" she asked quietly.

Kissing her again, Nathan nodded. "Of course I will. I could hold you forever."

Haley closed her eyes as her body molded into his. "Me, too," she whispered as she drifted off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**So I am completely in love with this chapter! It was amazing to write, and I hope that you guys enjoy it as well. Thanks for all the reviews & thoughts! **

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Haley was emotionally drained after confessing her past to Nathan, and once she was out she slept half the day away without even realizing it. When she woke up, the first thing she realized was that she was alone. She frowned. Hadn't Nathan promised her he would be there when she woke up? Rubbing her head and sitting up against the headboard, she glanced at the clock on her bedside table and noticed that it was almost three in the afternoon. "What the hell?" she muttered. She felt entirely backwards, but after a moment all the previous evening's memories came flooding back to her.

Waiting for Nathan had been horrible. An hour would have been fine, but sitting there for five hours wondering where he was and why he wasn't answering his phone was enough to drive her crazy. She wasn't worried that he was doing something wrong; she was worried about _him. _A number of things could have happened, and she had found herself imagining her life without Nathan Scott. And even after just three weeks of dating, she could honestly say she couldn't do it. Maybe it was just the fact that subconsciously she didn't want to, but either way she was falling for him and fast.

Nathan showing up in her dorm room had been a huge relief, and she was of course happy to see him. And the kiss was something she had wanted just as much as he had, but it was clear that he was drunk. When he began talking about the two of them having sex and tried to take her clothes off, Haley couldn't help but feel like she was back on that beach two years ago. Like it was happening all over again, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. It was like reliving some dreadful nightmare. Deep down in her heart, she knew that Nathan wasn't anything like her ex-boyfriend and that he would never physically force himself on her. But alcohol makes people do crazy things, and the way Nathan had been that night was something she didn't care to witness again. And a part of her was actually really intrigued and excited by the idea of having sex with Nathan. She wanted to experience everything with him at some point, but they had to be patient and let their hearts catch up to their bodies. But she had this idea in her head of what sex would be like…not just with Nathan but with anyone. It had been in her head since she was a little girl and her mom had told her how magical sex was and how people only did it when they were in love. Then that night at the beach changed everything for her. In those few moments, her virginity and her dignity were taken from her, and both were things she thought she would never get back. And no matter what Nathan or anyone else said, she wasn't a virgin. Now when she thought about sex with Nathan, she was excited but also petrified. Although she knew he would be gentle with her, it didn't quite succeed in silencing the voices in her head. That night at the beach hadn't just scarred her emotionally; it had hurt like hell. She'd always known her first time would hurt, but having the guy force himself on her so roughly had just made the pain worse. She could still feel it when she closed her eyes and replayed that night in her head, and she hoped that one day she would be able to forget the pain that he caused her and really move on with her life.

Telling Nathan about that night had, without a doubt, been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. Opening up had never been easy for her. Even as a child, Haley had always preferred to keep her troubles to herself and deal with them alone. She didn't feel the need to burden others with her problems. They were already weighing on her, so why bring other people down, too? It was completely unnecessary. And even though opening up to Nathan and letting him see her heart seemed nothing but natural and right to her, it was still hard. Saying the words out loud conjured up images in her mind, and sometimes it was too much for her to take. But she felt that Nathan deserved to know, and she felt that it was the only way for them to move forward in their relationship. It was clear to her that they were going about five hundred times the rate of any normal couple, but it was impossible not to with the feelings she was having. Now that Nathan knew all about her past with the rape and the pregnancy, Haley felt very safe. She knew that Nathan would protect her and always have her best interest at heart. However, she was also worried. Although Nathan had told her that the incident wasn't her fault and that it didn't change the way he felt about her, she wasn't sure that she believed him. It was a big deal to her; it still was. How could it not be to him? Surely his feelings had changed, and he probably thought less of her now. She couldn't imagine him feeling any other way.

As horrible and as tragic as the rape had been, it didn't hurt Haley nearly as much as losing her child had. She still thought about that every day, and she imagined what her life would be like now if things had turned out differently. She would have a child. And no matter who the father of that child was, it would still be hers. She had lost the baby only days after coming to terms with the pregnancy and beginning to believe that everything could be okay. When she and her family had found out that the baby was gone, her parents had told her that maybe it was for the best. Now she could pretend that the whole thing never happened. But Haley didn't want to do that. She didn't want to live in denial or fear. It had happened, and it was done. At least if she would have had her baby, she could have gained something positive out of the experience. It really had felt like she'd lost a part of herself, and it still did every day. Every time she babysat her siblings' kids or held William in her arms, there was a stabbing pain in her heart that just wouldn't go away. She wasn't sure she'd ever really be able to let go of that loss. It had changed her, and no matter how optimistic or carefree she appeared to Nathan and her friends, it was all a cover. Haley James wasn't as strong as she led people to believe she was, and she had yet to get over what had happened to her. And she wasn't sure she ever would.

When she was in Nathan's arms, though, she felt safe. She felt like, even if only for a moment, he could take it all away. He could let her escape into a better world where everything was good and full of hope again. He really did make her happy, and it was these reasons that reminded her that if she were to ever lose him she might not make it, especially now that he knew about her past. She knew she could talk to him and tell him anything, and she didn't have that with anyone else. Brooke and Peyton didn't know, and she wanted to keep it that way. It would change everything about their friendships, and Haley just couldn't handle another person feeling sorry for her. All it did was remind her of how much she had lost and the fact that they had a good reason to feel sorry for her. She wouldn't let herself dwell on that fact.

Even though she didn't know when she would be ready for it, Haley hadn't lied to Nathan the night before. He would be her first. She knew that already, without a doubt. And even though she didn't consider herself a virgin anymore, he would be the first man to ever make love to her, and it was a day she looked forward to. She couldn't wait to feel comfortable enough and confident enough to go there with him, but it was just going to take time. She hoped that he could understand that because even though he said he did, Nathan had always had sex readily available to him. As a matter of fact, he still did…just not sex with her. But she knew he wouldn't cheat on her. She could feel it in her heart, and she trusted him.

She sat in bed for a few minutes, going over all of this in her head. She was brought out of her daydream, though, when she heard the dorm room door open. She looked up and smiled when she saw Nathan walking through the door with a large bag with the words "Deb's Den" on the side. "I thought you were sneaking away," she teased him, running a hand over her hair to tame it a little.

"I would never," he answered with a soft smile. He made his way over to her bed after shutting the door and sat down on the edge. After setting the bag from his mother's restaurant on the floor, he leaned over and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I had basketball practice this morning, and I can't really afford to skip. But then I figured you'd be waking up soon and would probably be starving, so I went and got us some food."

"Yeah? What'd you get?" she questioned.

"Well, I didn't know what you'd be in the mood for, so I kind of got a little bit of everything. There's breakfast stuff and lunch stuff." He leaned over to open the bag.

"Oh, you know what sounds really good right now? Macaroni and-" She stopped when she saw him pulling out the container filled with her favorite food and two forks. "You read my mind, boyfriend."

Nathan smiled and leaned forward to kiss her once. "So how'd you sleep?" he asked as he removed the lid from the container. He tossed it aside and handed her a fork, and they both began eating.

Haley shrugged as she forked some macaroni onto her utensil. "Pretty well, I guess. I can't believe it's three o'clock already. I don't think I've ever slept this late in my life."

"Well, I've got you beat then," Nathan joked. "In high school I used to literally sleep through the entire day. I'd skip school and basketball and everything."

"What a rebel," Haley teased with a smile. They ate in silence for a few moments before she decided to speak again. "Hey, we're um…we're okay, right?" she asked quietly.

Nathan set down his fork and scooted closer to her. "Of course we're okay, Hales. Why wouldn't we be?"

She sighed and set her fork down as well. "I know that you said nothing would change the way you feel about me, but…I just don't know if I believe that, Nathan. I mean, I don't think you were lying, but…just…I need you to tell me how you feel."

"I did," he responded. "Last night."

"No, you didn't," she said with a shake of her head. "Please…I know that everything I told you was a lot to take in. So just tell me what you think or feel about it."

Nathan sighed and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "You really want to know what I think?"

She nodded.

"I think that you are the most beautiful, most talented, kindest person that I know," he began. "And the fact that you are still that person after everything you've been through amazes me even more. Haley, I would never think less of you because of what you told me. I am so glad that you felt you could confide in me, and I appreciate that you did. And I actually think more of you because of it. You are so strong, Hales, and I admire you so much for it. What I think…is that you are a really great person, and some really shitty things happened to you. None of it was your fault, and I meant what I said. _Nothing _in this world could change the way that I feel about you. You're the best person I know."

By this time, there were tears in her eyes, and she leaned forward to kiss him. There was no tongue, there were no wandering hands; it was just a kiss. But it felt so good and so sweet to be able to share something so simple yet so intimate with the man in front of her. "Thank you," she whispered against his lips as she caressed his cheek. "Now bust out some more food because I'm starving." She gave him a pointed look.

Nathan laughed and shook his head as he leaned over to retrieve the rest of the food he had brought with him. "Way to ruin a moment, Hales," he mumbled sarcastically.

Haley smiled. "Hey, a girl's got to eat." She picked up her fork again and finished off the macaroni and cheese.

* * *

"I'm sorry. I'm going to need you to repeat that," Lucas said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Grant sighed. "You heard me, Lucas. What's the big deal anyways?"

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "What's the big deal? You're kidding, right? Nathan is my brother, and Haley is his girlfriend. Why would I want to mess that up for them?"

"It wouldn't be you messing it up, alright?" Grant assured him. "I just need you to help me get there. I really like her, man."

"I don't care!" Lucas practically shouted. "She's not into you like that, okay? Get over it." He sighed. "Is this the only reason you invited me here? Because I really do have better things to do."

Grant rolled his eyes. "It's just lunch, Luke. I thought we were friends."

"Yes, _thought_ being the operative word," Lucas mumbled. He watched Grant open his mouth to say something before he quickly told him to be quiet as he saw Haley walk into the café.

"Hey," Haley greeted them after she spotted them from across the room. "I didn't know you guys were going to be here."

Grant moved over on his side of the booth. "Slide on in, sweetheart," he said with a smirk. "That's what I plan on doing to you later."

Haley scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Gag me."

"Whatever you're into," he responded.

"He was just leaving," Lucas interrupted, throwing him a pointed look. "Leave."

Shaking his head, he slid out of the booth and slapped Haley's ass as he walked by. "See you later, baby."

"God, he is such an ass," she mumbled as she slid into the now vacant seat. "Why do you even hang out with him?"

Lucas shrugged. "Mostly, I just get tricked into doing so. Trust me when I say I don't plan on making it a regular thing." Haley nodded, and he continued. "How's Nate?"

"Gosh, I don't know," she said with a sigh. "I mean, he's doing better than last night. I don't think he slept at all. He's so keyed up for this game."

"Well it is the first game of the season, Hales. We're all nervous."

She nodded slowly. "I know, but you hide it well," she said with a short laugh.

It had been three weeks since Nathan and Haley's conversation about her past. Things had been going exceptionally well for them. Nathan spent the night with her in her dorm room almost every night, even when Brooke was there complaining about it. They kissed a lot and sometimes made out, but Nathan was a lot less aggressive than he had been when they first started dating, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Haley. When they made out, his hands stayed on the bed and didn't attempt to touch her at all. Tongues interacted only when it was initiated by Haley, and he never tried to kiss her anywhere but her lips. Haley was always the one having to take the next step by moving her lips to his neck or tugging on the hem of his shirt. Not even that article of clothing came off anymore though. She had been meaning to talk to him about it, and she knew why he was doing it, but she needed him to know that she wasn't as fragile as he had been led to believe. And just because she had been assaulted once didn't mean that she thought he was going to be the second one to hurt her. She wanted to make out with him, and she wanted him to want her back. Kissing aside though, they were doing phenomenally. They talked more than when they'd first started dating, and they opened up to each other completely. They no longer had any secrets whatsoever.

Lucas laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "I do what I can. Look, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Once the game's over, he'll be back to himself. You're going to be there, right?"

Haley nodded. "I wouldn't miss it."

"Good," he replied. "And Haley…I know this is more Nathan's territory, but watch out for Grant, okay? He kind of likes you."

"You think?" she muttered sarcastically, earning a laugh from her friend across the booth. "I don't understand why he's still trying. He's been up to this for like a month, and Nathan just keeps getting more pissed at him. Is it not obvious that I'm with your brother?"

Lucas shrugged and took a large swig from his water bottle. "I think it's pretty damn obvious, Hales…what with all the hand holding and sitting on top of each other in public. I mean, you're really making a statement…a rather disgusting one but a statement nonetheless."

Haley giggled and reached across the table to slap his arm playfully. "Like you're any better. You and Brooke had sex like two days after you met. And you spend every night together."

"So do you and Nathan," he argued.

"Yeah, but we…sleep," she mumbled as a blush rose to her cheeks. "What is up with you and Brooke anyways? Are you dating? Because every time I ask her about it she conveniently changes the subject."

Lucas sighed and shrugged his shoulders again. "I honestly have no idea. She kind of does the same thing with me. I would love for us to be a real couple, but I don't think she wants the same."

"Hmm…want me to do some recon for you?"

"As long as it's covert," he answered.

Haley smiled. "Oh, I'm always covert."

* * *

"Brooke, what's up with you Lucas?" Haley asked as she walked into her and Brooke's dorm room. Her brunette best friend was sitting on her bed sketching what looked to be a wedding dress.

Hearing her best friend's voice, Brooke immediately covered her designs. Making sure to hide the one she'd just been working on, she closed the cover and sat up straight. "What?"

"What was that?" Haley questioned, walking over and reaching behind her friend for the sketchbook.

"Nothing!" Brooke replied quickly and loudly. "Don't worry about it. What did you need?"

Haley crossed her arms over her chest, deciding to let it go for the moment. "I asked what's going on with you and Lucas. And this time, there will be no dodging the bullet. I need answers, and so does he."

"What does that mean?" Brooke asked, intrigued.

Sighing, Haley crossed the room and took a seat on her own bed. "Luke thinks that you don't want the two of you to be a real couple."

It was Brooke's turn to sigh, and in addition she got up and began to pace the small area near her bed. "I do want to, Haley. And I mean, we practically are already. I haven't slept with anyone else since I met him."

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Brooke Davis…never thought I'd see the day."

"Oh, shut up," her friend returned with a light laugh. "I want to be with him, okay? But I've never done that before. I've never had a real relationship with a guy before. It's always been about sex. What if it ends up going south as soon as we put a label on it?"

"What if it doesn't?" Haley countered. "Brooke, I know you've never had a real relationship with a guy. And you know what? I thought I had, but after being with Nathan I can honestly say that I never did before him. And I've seen you and Luke together. You guys have what Nathan and I have. You'll make it."

"I don't know," Brooke mumbled with a shake of her head.

Haley stood up and crossed the room, placing her hands on her friend's shoulders. "Talk to him. Do it after the game tonight. You both want the same things, but if you don't communicate you'll never get anywhere. Trust him, Brookie, and trust yourself."

With a sigh, Brooke nodded. "Okay. Oh, before I forget…Nathan asked me to give this to you." She reached over to her nightstand and handed Haley a folded up piece of paper.

Haley unfolded the lined paper and smiled when she saw Nathan's messy scrawls.

_I'll be thinking about you all day. Meet me after the game on the roof of my mom's restaurant. 9:00. _

Brooke was grinning widely when Haley looked up, and the blonde immediately narrowed her eyes. "What are you smiling for? Do you know something I don't, Davis?"

"Nope," Brooke replied quickly. "And you know what? I've got to meet Peyton, so I'll see you at the game." She waved a quick goodbye and ran out the door but only after grabbing her sketchbook off of her bed.

Yeah, she definitely knew something.

* * *

Nathan searched for Haley in the stands as the team warmed up. He spotted her after only a few seconds. She was sitting with Peyton and Brooke. When he caught her eye, he sent her a smile and a sexy wink. He smirked when she returned both actions and then turned back around. It was time to focus on the game, but he knew even basketball couldn't take his mind off of Haley.

The previous day, while practicing, Nathan had realized that every time there was a basketball in his hands he was still thinking about her. That had never happened to him before. Basketball had always been the most important thing in his life, and no matter what girl he screwed or who caught his eye they had always been tossed out of his mind as soon as he picked up the ball. Haley was different, and he had surprised himself by being okay with that. He was actually glad that she was always on his mind. He'd rather think of nothing else, and it was during that basketball practice that he realized he was in love with her. While he knew Haley probably thought his lack of sleep was because of the impending game, she couldn't be more wrong. He was thinking about his feelings for her and whether or not they really were love. But after an entire night of thinking, he knew that it couldn't be anything else. He was completely in love with her, and he planned on telling her right after the game. This one was for her.

"Go, Nathan!" Haley shouted.

"Come on, Luke!" Brooke yelled.

"Let's go, Jake!" Peyton called out.

Brooke and Haley turned to look at their friend and both furrowed their brows. "Is there something you need to tell us, P. Sawyer?" Brooke asked.

Peyton shook her head but couldn't help the small smile that graced her features now. "Nothing at all."

"Okay, spill," Haley said after another moment. She knew both of her friends pretty well, and it was obvious that Peyton was lying.

Peyton's smile got wider. "Okay, but you can't tell anyone." Both of her friends nodded. "Jake and I are…we're kind of together."

Brooke shrieked, causing the woman sitting next to Haley to jump. Her arm knocked over her soda, and it spilled all over Haley's top and jeans. "Shit. I'm sorry, Tutor Girl."

Haley sighed heavily and shook her head. "You know what? Don't worry about it. I'm…I'll be right back." She got up and grimaced as she made her way into the aisle and to the bathrooms. "What a great night," she mumbled to herself, grabbing a handful of paper towels from the dispenser. She managed to get most of the excess soda out, but her entire outfit was still soaked through, and it wasn't exactly comfortable. The game had just started, and she figured she would be back before halftime, so Haley sent a quick text to Brooke to let her know she was going to go change before making her way out of the building.

Nathan ran over to his team's bench and grabbed a water bottle, squirting some of the liquid into his mouth. Coach had just called a timeout, there were thirty seconds left in the half, and he had no idea where the hell Haley was. She had disappeared right after the game started, and he was playing like shit. He didn't need her there, but he needed to know she was safe. Brooke and Peyton didn't look worried though. They did, however, look like they had no idea where their friend was.

Haley returned during halftime in dry clothes and sighed as she finally made it back to her seat.

"Where the hell have you been?" Brooke asked.

"I went home to change," Haley mumbled. "I wasn't exactly comfortable in my other clothes." She shot her a glare. "I texted you."

"It's loud in here," Brooke replied with a shrug. "I didn't hear it, and I haven't checked my phone."

"At least you're comfortable now," Peyton piped in. "But your boy is playing like crap."

Nathan stepped out of the locker room after getting yelled at for the duration of the halftime break. Apparently it was all his fault that they were losing. They were only down by three, for crying out loud. He grabbed a basketball off the rack and headed out onto the court. There was still two minutes left in halftime, and he planned on using them to practice the shots he had been missing all night. Figuring he wouldn't see her but hoping he would, he turned his head towards her seat and immediately smiled when he saw Haley sitting there watching him. She was wearing different clothes, he noticed, but it made no difference to him. She looked beautiful in anything.

Nathan exploded on the court in the second half. They came back almost immediately and were up by ten with less than ten minutes left in the half. With the help of Luke, Jake, and unfortunately Grant, Nathan grew the lead and shut it down. When the buzzer went off signifying the end of the game, he turned towards his girlfriend again, and when he saw her cheering for him his love for her only grew. He'd never really had anyone he cared about at his games genuinely cheering him on, with the exception of his mom. And as every guy knew, that didn't really count. He gave her another wink before running off the court to celebrate with his teammates.

At half past eight, Nathan was already on the roof of his mother's restaurant. As he had done the night of his and Haley's first date, he convinced his mom to shut it down for the night so he and Haley could have some alone time. He was so nervous about what she was going to say. What if she didn't love him back? They'd only been dating for a month and a half. It was a little soon, and he wasn't naïve enough to think otherwise. But he couldn't help what he was feeling, and he certainly couldn't keep it from her any longer. It was imperative that he let it out.

Nine o'clock came and went, and as he glanced at his watch he let out a long sigh. What if she didn't show up at all? He supposed then he'd have his answer. Closing his eyes, he sent up a short prayer to whoever it was that was up there, and a few moments later he heard the door leading to the roof slide open. As he turned around, his face looking hopeful, his hands absentmindedly drew into his pockets. "Hi," he said with a smile as he watched Haley sashay over to him.

"Hi," Haley replied, flashing her own smile. When she reached him, her arms immediately reached up to circle around the back of his neck. She interlocked her wrists and leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek. "Good game, Scott."

"I did alright," he muttered, moving his head down to place a soft kiss on her lips.

Haley scoffed. "Alright? I beg to differ. I think the other team would, too."

Nathan smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, well you should have seen the first half. I sucked." He sighed. "I got nervous when I didn't see you."

Haley pulled one hand from behind his neck to caress his cheek. "Brooke screamed, and the woman sitting next to me spilled her soda all over me. I went home to change." She kissed him again. "I'm sorry I missed the first half."

"Hey, don't worry about it," he told her. "We won, and you're safe. That's all that matters."

She smiled at him and then glanced around the roof. She hadn't looked at it when she'd first come up, but now she was noticing the decorations. The white string lights were on again, and there were bouquets of little purple flowers placed all around the ground in glass vases. "So why are we up here on the roof of your mother's restaurant?" She let out a light laugh.

Nathan drew in a nervous breath and shrugged his shoulders. "I wanted to make tonight special."

"Why?" she asked slowly, narrowing her eyes at him. She was still smiling though, and she felt her heart rate pick up in anticipation of what was to come. Surely something was coming if he wanted the night to be special.

Taking another deep breath, Nathan looked into her eyes. "Hales, I know we're just starting out, but being with you has changed me. I'm a better person when I'm with you. I can't explain it, and I'm not going to try to. But I have all these new feelings that I've never experienced before, and I can't hide that from you. Hell, I was never honest before I met you. But even without you saying it, you demand so much more out of me than anyone else, and I…I love you for that."

Haley audibly gasped as she watched him pull something that looked mysteriously like a black velvet box from his pocket and covered her heart with her hand when he got down on one knee. "Nathan, what…what are you doing?" she whispered. He couldn't be proposing. Six weeks together did not warrant a proposal, no matter what they were feeling for one another.

Nathan looked up at her and opened the box, revealing the simple yet beautiful engagement ring he had picked out for her. "Hales, I love you. I know this is the first time I'm saying it, but I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. You make me better, and I don't ever want to be apart from you. I don't ever want to lose you." With his free hand, he took hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Will you marry me?"

She couldn't say anything. What was she supposed to say to that? She was in pure and utter shock. Hearing him say he loved her was amazing, and she knew she wouldn't have a problem saying it back. She'd known for quite a while that she was in love with Nathan, but she never even thought about voicing those feelings yet. She figured it would freak him out. Who knew he'd be the one freaking her out? This was Nathan Scott who, up until six weeks ago, was the biggest player on the East Coast. Could he really have changed so drastically that quickly?

She wasn't saying anything. That wasn't a good sign. After a few minutes of silence, he reluctantly stood up but kept the ring in his hand. "Hales, please say something."

She heard his voice but couldn't make out the words. Her eyes were trained on the ring he held in his hand. It was nothing but beautiful. The rock wasn't huge, and she was a little bit surprised that he would know not to get her something too over-the-top. When it came to jewelry, Haley was simple and classy. Buying something just because it was big and would attract the most attention wasn't her style; that was more in Brooke's department. She couldn't take her eyes off of the ring and kind of didn't want to because that would mean she'd have to say something. And she didn't know what to say.

"Haley," Nathan repeated her name, hoping to catch her attention.

Her head snapped up this time, and she met his eyes which she could tell were filled with desperation. "I, um…Nathan, I love you, too," she said in a whisper as her eyes filled with tears.

Nathan grinned. "You do?" he questioned, wanting to double check. Hearing those words come out of her mouth would never get old; he knew that already.

"Yes, but-"

"But?" he interrupted her, the disappointment apparent in his voice.

Haley struggled to keep her tears at bay as she watched the pain stretch across his face. She knew she was hurting him, and she hated the fact. "Nathan, I…you have to believe me. I do love you, but we…we can't get married."

Nathan let his hand drop from in front of him, but he still held the ring tightly in his hand. "Why not?"

She heard his voice crack, and a tear slid down her cheek. Quickly, she brought a hand up and wiped it away. "Because we've been together for a month and a half. People don't get married when they've only been dating for a month and a half. It's not normal."

"So? I'm not normal. What I'm feeling is definitely not normal. To be honest with you, Haley, I don't ever want to be normal. Not with you. I'm serious."

"Nathan, it's not as simple as all that," Haley said, turning her back. She took a few steps away from him as she wrapped her arms around herself.

Nathan snapped the ring box closed. "Yes it is. It can be." He took a few steps forward until he was behind her. Pressing his body into hers, he placed his hands on her hips and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Haley, I love you, okay?" he whispered, his voice breaking. "I want to be with you now and forever."

Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and leaned her body into his, placing her hands over his. "Nathan, I can't. We're not…_I'm _not ready for something like this."

Feeling the tears welling up in his eyes and not wishing for her to see him cry, Nathan slid his hands out from under hers. He quickly walked over to the ledge of the roof and placed his hands on top of it, leaning his head down.

Haley turned around, and as she saw how broken he looked more tears slid down her face. She made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around his torso from behind. "Nathan, I still want to be with you. I love you. But we're just starting out, and I don't want to ruin it." She leaned her head against his back.

"You're saying no," he croaked out, covering his face with his hands.

Haley pulled on his arm until he had turned around and was facing her. She shook her head and leaned up, sealing her lips over his in a soft kiss. A moment later, she pushed her tongue into his mouth slowly as both her hands gripped onto his shirt. When she pulled away, she cupped his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. "I'm not saying no, Nathan. I'm saying…I'm saying not right now."

"What's the difference?" he mumbled, shaking his head. A few tears fell from his eyes, and he looked away.

She closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them she wiped away his tears with the pads of her thumbs. "Nathan, please," she whispered. "I don't want to lose you. I _can't _lose you, okay?"

Nathan bit his lip hard as one hand came up to hold her head to his chest. He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead and wrapped his other arm around her waist, holding onto her for dear life. "You're not going to lose me," he whispered. "I just um…I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed the top of her head once and then quickly pulled out of her embrace. He walked as quickly as he could to the exit and ran down the stairs and out of the restaurant.

Haley leaned against the ledge of the roof and closed her eyes.

Everything had just changed, and neither was sure what was going to happen next.


	8. Chapter 8

**I apologize for not getting this out sooner, but I'm sick again and school is hell. Chapter 9 will hopefully be out to you guys by Saturday evening, so there's something for us all to look forward to! Thank you for all the responses to Chapter 7! I'm really liking the way that Nathan and Haley's relationship is coming together in this story, but they've certainly got a long way to go. Enjoy!**

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* * *

**He stared at the engagement ring for a long time before snapping the box shut again. He'd been doing it all night long. There was no way he could sleep after what had ensued between him and Haley. So after driving around for about an hour, he'd pulled over on the side of the road and had been sitting there ever since. And every time he caught another glimpse of the ring or recognized a new detail on it that he hadn't noticed before, only one thought ran through his mind.

He had ruined everything. After spending twenty-two years of his life acting like a jackass, Haley had come along and changed it all for him. He knew he would never be that guy again, but somehow he had still managed to screw it all up. Things with Haley had been going great. So why did he have to tell her he was in love with her and then ask her to marry him? If he was being completely honest with himself, it was because he couldn't help it. He couldn't help the fact that he had fallen in love with such an amazing woman and didn't want to hide that from her. And he couldn't help that he wanted to spend forever with her and that he wanted forever to start as soon as possible. The decision had been a bit of whim, but he had made it almost a week before the proposal. Searching for the right ring had been a completely different story. He had looked at different jewelry stores for several hours over the span of a few days. And when he had seen the one that he now held in his hand, he just knew it was the one. He knew she would love it.

But it didn't matter anymore. She didn't want him to be her husband, and she didn't want to be his wife. Could he blame her though, really? It's not like he was man of the year or anything, and clearly Haley knew that. With the way their relationship had started and everything he'd done to make her doubt him, no wonder she didn't trust his instincts. Haley James was too good for him; he'd known it from the moment he'd first seen her. She was beautiful, intelligent, funny, and kind. And he was everything she _didn't _want in a guy. Why had he even tried? Why had she let him? And why couldn't he stop crying? Nathan had never been a crier, but knowing that he wouldn't have the luxury of being with Haley for the rest of his life just made his heart hurt. It didn't matter that she'd said she loved him, too. It didn't matter that she'd said they just couldn't get married right now because it was too soon. Because that's not what Nathan heard, especially after overanalyzing the situation all night long. What he heard was that she cared for him deeply and that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with him. The facts didn't matter because the facts were being blurred by both his tears and his pain.

What was he supposed to do the next time he saw her? What would he be expected to say? It wouldn't go back to normal; he knew that. He honestly didn't even know what normal consisted of with them. After all, like Haley had said, they'd only been together for six weeks. But it felt like so much longer for Nathan. He needed her in his life, and after hours of staring at the engagement ring he'd offered to her, he once again snapped the box shut. Opening the glove compartment with one hand, he placed the ring in it with the other. After closing it, he wiped the remaining tears from his face and started the vehicle. He had basketball practice in two hours, and it was time to stop acting like a baby. If he couldn't have Haley forever, then he was sure as hell going to hold on for as long as he could. He would continue to be with her and act like the proposal never even happened, and he would allow no one to ever see him break down like he just had. Not even Haley.

Brooke squealed when she heard the dorm room door open and close. She turned around on her bed and threw the covers off her body, quickly glancing at the clock and seeing that it was just past seven in the morning. It wasn't an hour she was usually fond of being awake at, but for this she could wake up early. She was so excited. But as she sat up on the edge of her bed and glanced up at her friend who had walked directly to her bed, her smile faded. Haley was sitting on her bed with her hands in her lap, and it was clear that she had been crying. Maybe it hadn't gone so well. Brooke stood up quickly, pausing for a moment to let the lightheadedness fade, and crossed the room. Taking a seat next to her best friend on the bed, she placed a hand on her knee. "Haley, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice taking on a hint of shock.

Haley brought her hands up to swipe at her eyes again and shook her head dejectedly. She really didn't want to get into it, but she knew she had to talk to someone about it, and who better than her best friend? She had stayed on the roof of Deb's Den for almost an hour after watching Nathan run out, but when she had finally paused long enough to take in her surroundings again a wave of guilt passed over her, and she quickly left the restaurant. He had clearly put so much effort into the evening and had wanted it to be perfect, and it really was so sweet. The flowers, the lights, the ring…it was all amazing, and the fact that he was so committed to her when they had only been dating for six weeks made her fall even deeper in love with him. She knew he had changed; it was clear. But she believed, without a doubt, that he was the reason for all the changes in himself. He could have resisted more or just left her because he wanted to get back to his old ways, but he didn't. He stuck by her and helped her talk through the worst experience of her life thus far. He was a warrior in her eyes, and she wanted nothing more than to be able to say yes to his proposal. But she couldn't, and she knew in her heart that there was just no way Nathan was prepared to take on a marriage either. They were still in college and had their whole lives ahead of them. And even though Nathan evoked pleasures and feelings within Haley that she had never experienced before, she was worried that it was all temporary. After all, this was Nathan's first real relationship. He couldn't possibly know that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her after only six weeks of dating. It simply wasn't possible.

"Nathan asked me to marry him," Haley finally said, her voice dripping with unshed tears.

Brooke did her best to look surprised, but when she saw Haley throw her a questioning glance she knew she couldn't do it. This was her best friend, and keeping things like this from her just wasn't right. "Haley, I'm just…going to come out and say it. I know."

Haley furrowed her brow and lifted one knee onto the edge of the bed so she was facing her friend head on. "You know what?" she asked slowly.

"I know that Nathan proposed to you," Brooke blurted out, closing her eyes so she wouldn't see the look of betrayal that was sure to be plastered on her best friend's face at the moment. "I mean, I knew he was going to. He talked to me about it and asked me what my opinion was."

"And?" Haley prompted. Even though she was shocked and a little hurt that Brooke had known about the proposal before she had, more than anything she wanted to know what was going through Nathan's mind when he came up with the idea. She needed to know what kinds of thoughts he was having so she could potentially try to understand them.

Brooke sighed. "And I told him I thought it was perfect."

"What?" Haley shrieked, standing up now. "You told Nathan that proposing to me would be a good idea? How could you possible think that, Brooke? Aren't you like anti-marriage anyways?"

"For your information, I am not anti-marriage," Brooke retorted, standing up as well. She placed her hands on her hips. "I told him I thought it was great because I know you, Hales. And I've seen the way that you look at him. You love him, and he loves you. What else is there to figure out?"

Haley began pacing the room and wringing her hands together. "Oh, I don't know…how about everything, Brooke? I can't believe you," she said with a shake of her head. "Nathan and I do love each other, but-"

"But what, Haley?" Brooke interrupted. "Babe, maybe you think I'm clueless, but you forget I've seen you happy before. Like really happy, and you haven't been that way in over two years. And when you met Nathan and started to really crush out on him…you got that happy look back. In fact, if I'm not mistaken it's stronger than ever before."

"Brooke, it doesn't matter!" Haley nearly shouted. "It doesn't matter that we love each other. It takes a lot more than love to build a marriage. What matters is the fact that we've only been together for six weeks. You can't know who you want to spend the rest of your life with after six weeks."

"How do you know that?" Brooke responded. "I'm sorry, Tutor Girl, but that's a lie. You know that it's a lie. Nathan wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and he's sure of it. Trust me; he gave it a hell of a lot of thought. You need to give him a chance."

Haley sighed and crossed her arms over her chest as she finally stopped pacing. "I am giving him a chance, Brooke. He and I are still together, and that's how I want it to stay. But he's not ready to be a husband, and I'm not ready to be a wife."

"So, basically what you're telling me is that you rejected him?"

"I didn't reject him," Haley objected loudly. "I'm just not ready."

Brooke sighed and shook her head. "You know what, Hales? One day you're going to have to stop running from your feelings and actually confront them."

"Oh, you're one to talk."

Raising an eyebrow, the brunette grabbed her shower bag and a towel from her side of the room before making her way over to the door. "All I'm saying…is that you never let anyone all the way in. You keep some type of guard up around your heart, and if you keep it up you're going to end up alone. Just think about it." She turned the doorknob and shut the door quietly after stepping out into the hallway.

Haley sat down on the edge of her bed slowly as tears prickled at the back of her eyes. Brooke was right; she didn't even know how right she was. But that's not why she hadn't agreed to marry Nathan. Because he was the first person she'd really allowed to see all of her heart. Her heart and her soul were completely naked for him, so why couldn't she just say yes? Why couldn't she just accept the fact that a really amazing guy had stepped into her life and they had fallen in love? Why couldn't she just tell herself to believe in love at first sight and let it happen? None of it was as easy as it sounded, not for Haley.

* * *

"What's wrong with you, man?" Lucas asked as the team entered the locker room after practice. His voice held genuine concern as he eyed his brother. "You've been quiet all day."

Grant stepped in between the two as he opened his locker and threw his jersey off. "He's just mad because I fucked Haley," he said with a smirk.

Nathan turned and shoved his teammate as hard as he could, watching as he slammed into the lockers violently. "Keep your fucking mouth shut," he muttered angrily.

When Lucas saw Grant begin to retaliate, he quickly stepped in front of him. "You need to chill," he stated calmly. "Seriously, man."

Grant laughed and held his hands up in defense as he started towards the showers. "I swear, she wanted me to, Nate. She practically begged me for it."

Nathan clenched his fists at his sides and watched him walk away, knowing that going after him would only end with him getting himself in trouble. His jaw clenched as he ventured the few steps needed to arrive at his locker, and his fist reared back before punching the wood as hard as he could. Once he got started, he couldn't stop, and even though the pain in his knuckles was causing his vision to blur a bit he kept going until he felt Lucas pulling him back. He'd gotten in at least five good hits though.

"Dude, what the hell is going on?" Lucas asked, letting go of his brother's shoulders. "Did something happen with Haley?"

Nathan let out a sardonic laugh and shook his head. "No. As a matter of fact, _nothing _happened with Haley. So just shut up, Luke. And leave me alone." He walked to his locker again and grabbed his stuff before sauntering off to the showers. Damn, his hand was really hurting. He tried to clench his fist again but found that it hurt too much to do so. "Just what I need," he mumbled as he turned on the hot water.

He finished his shower quickly, just wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. He wanted to go back to his dorm room and go to sleep, seeing as he hadn't really gotten any during the night. When he walked out to the lockers, Luke was buttoning up his shirt.

Lucas glanced to his left and watched his brother carefully, noticing that he was only using his left hand to open and close his locker. Once he had closed his own, he reached over and took his hand, pressing down on his knuckle. It appeared to be sunken in.

"Ow!" Nathan yelled, ripping his hand away from his brother's grip. "Shit, Luke. Don't worry about it, okay?"

Sighing, Lucas held his hand out again. "Let me take a look at it, Nate."

Reluctantly, Nathan placed his hand into his brother's.

"What's going on in here?"

Nathan and Lucas turned to see their coach standing in the doorway, and the younger brother sighed. "Thanks a lot," he muttered to his brother.

* * *

Haley sighed loudly as she finally returned to her dorm room after a long day of both classes and work at the café. Her schedule for the entire next week was insane, and she had a whole heap of homework to complete before the night was over. It was almost eight o'clock, and as she thrust her books onto her desk she simultaneously kicked off her shoes. God, today had been hard. The hardest part had been not seeing Nathan at all. He hadn't called her, and she hadn't called him. She felt the need to prepare words for him before she saw him again, but she also missed him like hell. He'd said that she wouldn't lose him, so maybe they could just go back to normal.

She sat down at her desk and tried to concentrate on her homework but ended up merely fiddling with her pen for the better part of forty minutes. Sighing, she sat the pen down and looked at the clock again. She made her decision quickly, and there was no time to debate it as she quickly slipped on her shoes and opened the door. She had to see him. After having constant contact with him for so long, it was just impossible for her to miss out on a day of seeing his beautiful face. Maybe that made her a hypocrite, but in that moment she missed him too much to care.

Knocking on his door softly, she received a muffled groan from the other side and then knocked louder.

"Jesus, I'm coming!" Nathan shouted from his spot on the bed.

Haley furrowed her brow at his tone of voice but plastered a smile onto her face when he opened the door.

Nathan immediately cursed himself when he saw who was at the door. He sighed, making sure to keep his right hand behind his back. "I'm…I'm sorry, Hales. What do you need?"

She frowned but tried to cover it up as quickly as possible. Yeah, it definitely didn't look like things would be returning to normal anytime soon. He was shirtless, which just happened to be the first thing she'd noticed when he'd opened the door a few seconds earlier. He was dressed in only a pair of Duke basketball shorts and was looking incredibly sexy. "I…" She shifted from one foot to the other and wrung her hands together absentmindedly. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out."

"I'd love to, but I'm really tired," he replied. "Plus, Luke probably doesn't want us in here bothering him."

"Luke's out with Brooke," Haley stated plainly. Had he seriously just made up an excuse so he didn't have to hang out with her? What the hell? She watched his face, and when he didn't say anything she continued. "Look, if you don't want to hang out with me then at least be man enough to say it, okay? I just thought we should talk."

Nathan sighed and nodded, opening the door wider. "Fine."

Haley walked into his dorm room and watched him close the door. "I know you're upset, but you don't have to be so curt with me, Nathan. It kind of hurts."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "It's just kind of been a rough day. I don't mean to take it out on you." He cast his eyes on the floor and tried to avoid her brown orbs.

She could tell he was being honest, and she closed her eyes briefly, knowing that in some form she was to blame for his "rough day." She made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face to his chest. "I'm sorry," she whispered, leaving a long kiss in the center of his chest. "I know that there's a lot to be figured out between us, Nathan, but I'm still here. Please don't shut me out." She brought her head up to look into his eyes. "I love you."

He bit his lip and nodded slowly. "I know," he whispered. "I love you, too."

Haley allowed a small smile to light up her face and backed up slightly, placing her hands on his shoulders. She kept her eyes on his as she let her hands trail down his biceps and forearms before trying to lace her fingers together with his. She furrowed her brow as she felt something hard on his right wrist, and when she looked down her eyes met a blue cast which covered most of his hand and continued up past his wrist. "Oh, my gosh. Nathan, what happened?" So maybe she wasn't the reason his day had been so crappy after all.

Nathan shook his head while also shrugging his shoulders. "I broke some knuckles," he muttered lowly. "Usually they just tape them up when it's one, but I broke three, so they said it'd heal faster if they put a cast on it. It's fine, Haley. It's not a big deal." He pulled his hand away from her and went to stand by his bed.

She stood there silently for a moment before following in his footsteps and making sure he turned around to face her. "Nathan…how? How did it happen?"

He shrugged again and watched as she held onto his cast with both her hands, examining his fingers delicately. "Grant was pissing me off, and I just kind of let loose on the lockers. It was stupid."

"What about basketball?" was her next question. This time she looked up and met his eyes.

And this time Nathan sighed, pulling his hand away again as he sat down on his bed. "I can't very well play with a cast on, can I?" he said sarcastically.

"How long will you be out?"

"A while," he answered.

Haley sat down next to him and placed a hand on his thigh, using her other one to turn his face towards hers. "Nathan, how long?"

"Three or four weeks, if the healing process goes perfectly."

Haley closed her eyes briefly before resting her forehead against his, holding his head to her with one hand while the other began to move up and down his thigh. "I'm so sorry, baby," she whispered.

"Don't worry about it," he answered quickly. "I'll live." In all actuality, he was freaking out about being without basketball for a month. It was not something he was sure he could handle, especially right after being turned down by Haley. It was his senior year, and the scouts were watching him. What the hell were they supposed to watch now? Other players…players that weren't him and would now have the opportunity to prove that they could be better.

She sniffled as she felt the tears brewing again. He was pulling away…shutting her out, and she refused to let it happen. If they let themselves drift apart now, they might never be able to find their way back. And she couldn't lose him. She wouldn't. "Nathan, please talk to me," she whispered. "I know that I hurt you, and I'm sorry, but you have to understand. I'm just not ready for something like this…something like marriage. You understand that, right?"

He shook his head and let out a sardonic laugh as he stood up from the bed. "Not really, Haley." She gave him a confused look, so he elaborated. "Do you honestly think that I feel ready to be married? Because if you do then you're wrong. And I don't know that I'll ever _feel _completely ready for something like that. But when I look at you, when I kiss you…when I think about how much I love you my preparedness means nothing. All that matters is that I want to spend my life with you, and I want to love you forever." He paused and shook his head again. "So no, I can't understand that, Haley. If you really love me the way that I love you, you wouldn't have to think twice about marrying me."

"So this was, what, some sort of test?" she questioned as she stood up as well. "Just you trying to see if I really love you or not?"

"Absolutely not," he answered softly. "It was just the opposite. It was me trying to prove my love to you and me stupidly thinking that you would really want to reciprocate the feeling and spend forever with me. Clearly, I'm an idiot." His volume seemed to rise with every word he spoke.

"Nathan, you can't just say that this entire thing is my fault," she argued. "You shouldn't have asked me to marry you, not this soon. And I'm sick of you trying to say that I don't love you. I'm the only one that can be the judge of that, and I'm telling you right now that I do. Why would I lie?"

He threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know, Haley. You tell me."

She shook her head and held her hands up. "You know what? If this is the way you're going to act, then I'm not having this conversation. Call me when you grow up," she mumbled, moving to leave the room.

Nathan took a step to his left so he was directly in front of her and she wouldn't be able to take a direct path to the door. "No, we're finishing this," he said sternly.

Haley crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "So you get to call all the shots now, huh? Getting married, finishing conversations…when do I get to have a say in anything?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he shouted. "You're the one calling the fucking shots, Haley. Yes, I want to get married. But that's not happening, is it?" He looked around the room, his arms flailing out by his sides. "Do _you _see a wedding happening? I sure as hell don't!"

Her glare intensified, and she stood still, her hands gripping onto her elbows. "I don't know why I ever thought you could be anything but a pathetic asshole. You keep saying you've changed, but clearly you haven't. What, is being my boyfriend not enough for you? Is making out with me not enough for you?"

"Don't make this about sex," he replied.

"When did I say sex?" she questioned. "No. I did not say sex. I said making out which, by the way, hasn't been happening either."

"What the hell is your goddamn point?"

Both her eyebrows raised, and she dropped her arms down by her sides. "My point? My point, Nathan, is that for the past few weeks I've really been trying with you. I've been trying to kiss you and touch you and make myself comfortable with that so that maybe, one day in the future, we can actually have sex. But every time I kiss you or try to make out with you, you just lie there like a statue. Is that supposed to make me think you want me?" she asked, tears now shining in her eyes. "Is that supposed to make me feel sexy and confident enough to make love to you? It doesn't, Nathan. It makes me think the exact opposite. That you don't want me, and that there's no way that I can measure up to all the other girls you've been with. That, Nathan, is my goddamn point."

Nathan silently cursed himself and shook his head as he reached for her hand. When she took a step back from him and crossed her arms again, he sighed. "Haley, that's not…that's not it, okay? I was just trying to make you comfortable."

"What would make me comfortable would be knowing that my boyfriend finds me attractive enough to be intimate with me," she replied.

"I don't know how many damn times is going to be enough for you to believe me," he said, exasperated. "You are sexier than any woman I've _ever _been with, Haley. That's the truth. And if you don't believe me, I'm not sure what I can do to change your mind. I want to be with you." He took a step closer, closing the gap she had created just moments ago. He raised his good hand up to her face and caressed her cheek. "I want to make love to you more than anything in this world," he whispered as his eyes closed. He opened them a second later to meet her eyes intensely. "I want to feel you in every way, and I want to be able to make you feel good and special and happy. And I hope that one day I can do that." He watched a tear fall from her eye and used the pad of his thumb to wipe it away. "You want to know the truth?" She nodded. "I ache for you, Haley. Every day and every night, I dream about us making love. But you and I both know that if we rush the moment, it could ruin us."

"Like your proposal did?" she asked weakly.

Nathan sighed quietly and shook his head. "It didn't ruin us. And nothing ever will because I won't let it."

"Nathan, look at us," she protested, glancing around the room. "It's already happening."

"We're fighting, Hales. Couples fight; it's what they do," he objected. "Sooner or later, it'll come to a conclusion, and we'll be even more in love than we are right now."

Haley closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his as she let a small smile grace her features. "Well, in that case…can we…can we make that conclusion come sooner rather than later?" she whispered.

Nathan let out a light chuckle and then wrapped both his arms around her, holding her body tight against his. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "I know that sometimes I say things that are out of line, but today has really sucked. And I can't help the fact that I feel hurt. I don't want to lie to you about it either."

"Nathan, I trust you," she said as she pulled her head back to look at him. "You are the first man that I have been able to trust in over two years, and you have to know how amazing you are for that. But I need you to trust me, too, or this is never going to work. If you don't trust me, how can we be talking about marriage? Marriage is built around trust, and we've got a long way to go with that."

"You're right," he replied quietly. "I know you are. I just…I want it, you know? I don't know what it is, but when I think about you being my wife my heart just…it feels lighter somehow."

Haley smiled and nodded, letting him know she understood. "I know, but just because we're not married doesn't mean that I love you any less or that I won't be here for you as often. Nothing has to change." She paused. "Except for that whole making out thing cause I've been really-"

"Horny?" he supplied with a smirk.

Her mouth dropped open and she slapped his bare chest. "And for future reference, I hate that word. It sounds…dirty." She scrunched up her face.

Nathan laughed. "Alright, I'll try to refrain from using it then." He watched her lick her lips and continued to smile. "So can I kiss you now?"

"You'd better," she mumbled just before his lips landed on hers. She kissed him back fervently, easily sliding her tongue past his parted lips and running her hands through his thick hair. She pulled him until the back of her knees hit the bottom of his bed and she fell back onto the mattress. She gave him a huge smile as he climbed on top of her and rested his weight on his forearms. Their lips immediately fused together again, and she moved her hands to his back to rest over his shoulder blades.

Moving his lips to her neck, Nathan began to suck on the flesh there and smirked against her when he heard a moan escape her throat.

Haley moved her head to the side to allow him better access, and her eye caught something sitting on his nightstand. "Nathan," she mumbled. Not being able to control herself, she moaned again when he continued his assault on her neck. "Nathan," she said again, with more force this time.

"Yeah, baby?" he breathed, pulling his upper body back up to even out with hers. "What's wrong?" He followed her line of vision, and his eyes landed on the little black velvet box on his nightstand. "Oh, I…"

Haley turned her head and kissed his lips gently. When she pulled back she looked into his eyes. "It's okay. I just…what are you going to do with it?" she whispered.

"Oh," he muttered, a light blush covering his pale cheeks. "Well I got it for you, Hales. It's your ring. And I know you're not ready right now, but maybe someday you will be. And when that day comes, this ring will be here with me waiting for you." He nuzzled his nose against hers slowly.

With a smile, she kissed him again. "Thank you. I know this must all be really hard for you, but we'll be okay. We'll get through this."

"No doubt," he answered with a small smirk before kissing her again. If there was one thing Nathan knew, it was that tonight he would not be holding back during their make out sessions.


	9. Chapter 9

**So I'm a little late. I know I said I'd update last night, so I apologize for not getting this out sooner. Now...some of you might hate me after you read this chapter, but this is something I've had planned since pretty much the beginning. Some parts are pretty vague as far as letting you know what the characters are thinking, and that's on purpose so that they can explain that at a later date. **

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* * *

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Haley smiled as she walked down the hall, heading to Nathan's dorm room. Every time she thought about him she smiled. It had been true after their first date six and a half weeks ago, and it was still true. She found it amazing because she had figured that the feelings she had for Nathan in the beginning of their relationship would fade slightly with time. No one kept the passion in their relationship alive for longer than a week, right? Feelings faded; it was natural. But it was just the opposite for Haley. Her feelings towards Nathan grew every second they were together and every minute they were apart. There wasn't anything she didn't love about him. His work ethic and his dedication to basketball were two things about him that completely inspired her. He was always telling her she was the best person he knew, but for Haley it was just the opposite. Nathan was an amazing man.

There were moments during their fight two nights ago when Haley thought it was going to be the end for them. He had said things, and she had said things. She knew he was angry about basketball, and she felt so bad for him after seeing his cast. She knew how much basketball meant to Nathan, and to see him have to put his dream on hold like that was heartbreaking. And although he was being strong, she knew it was a front. He was already missing it, and his dreams of playing in the NBA were slowly fading. But she knew, without a doubt, that he would make it. He was too strong not to.

She hated that he couldn't understand her reasons for denying his proposal, but she was glad that he was at least being honest about everything. He had told her that he was hurt by her rejection, and she appreciated it. Sex hadn't been a planned topic of conversation, but it had just slipped out. That was something Haley had been thinking about for weeks, and she had been planning on talking to him about it. He was being open and honest with her, so she decided to do the same for him. Telling him how she felt when they were together and kissing or making out hadn't been a mistake, especially when Haley thought about how different the last two days had been. Every time they were together, Nathan was all over her. He was still being respectful and trying not to push her, but he was building her confidence little by little. And Haley knew that was the only remaining thing she needed to gain before she would have sex with Nathan. She was still nervous as hell, of course, but over time most of it had turned into a confidence thing. Haley found herself feeing self-conscious a lot, and it was one of the things that she hated about herself. She wished that she could be more like Brooke and just know and be able to admit that she looked hot all the time. She wished that she could get naked for Nathan without feeling weird or nervous about what he would think about her body, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't change those feelings. They had been there for years.

She stopped when she reached his door and raised her hand to knock. However, she retracted it when she heard Lucas's voice penetrating the walls of the room loudly. He sounded angry.

"I can't believe you asked her to marry you, Nathan!" Lucas yelled. "Why the hell would you do that?"

Haley furrowed her brow and crossed her arms over her chest. She knew it was wrong to listen, but she had a feeling this conversation was going somewhere, and she couldn't help herself.

"What's the big deal, Lucas?" Nathan replied just as loudly. "It's not like it affects you."

"It doesn't affect me? Really?" Lucas retorted. "That's where you're wrong, little brother. This does affect me because Haley is my friend. And she's a good person. She doesn't need you doing this to her."

"Doing what? I'm not doing anything, Luke. I love her."

Lucas scoffed loudly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Nathan, that's bullshit. You only went after her to win a stupid bet. Don't pretend any of this means anything to you now."

Haley raised an eyebrow from outside the door and decided this was the time for her to cut in. She had no idea what Lucas was talking about, but she sure as hell was going to find out. She turned the doorknob and burst into the room.

Nathan's head whipped around and he immediately began to wonder just how much she had heard. Maybe she hadn't heard anything. He plastered a smile on his face and walked over to her, leaning in to kiss her.

Haley took a step back at the last minute so his lips couldn't touch her, and then she turned to face Lucas. "Luke, would you mind giving us a second?" she asked politely.

"Of course," he replied, glancing over at his brother only to see him glaring at him. He made his way around the deadly silent couple and left the room.

Nathan didn't say anything. He was honestly scared to. She had obviously heard something because she looked pretty damn angry.

Haley looked at him. "What was that, Nathan?" she asked quietly.

"Haley, it wasn't anything," he responded. "We were just kidding around."

"Kidding around?" She shook her head and gave him a bitter smile. "Nathan, now is not the time to lie. What was that?" She watched him move his eyes to the floor to avoid her gaze and continued. "You only went after me to win a bet? What does that mean?"

So she had heard it all. Nathan ran a nervous hand through his hair and shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't mean anything, Haley, okay? Let it go."

She scoffed. "Well how about you tell me what it is, and I'll decide whether or not it means something?"

"It's nothing," he said a bit louder. "I just bet Lucas something when I saw you at the café the day we met. It really didn't mean anything." He finally raised his eyes to look at her.

"What was the bet, Nathan?" she asked.

Nathan sighed and shook his head. "Haley, it was six weeks ago. I'm not doing this."

"Doing what?" she questioned. "Being honest with me? Yeah, obviously not."

"Look, we're going to miss the movie," he said with another sigh. "Let's just go."

Haley crossed her arms over her chest and raised both her eyebrows. "What was the bet, Nathan?" she asked again.

He remained silent, avoiding her eyes again.

"What was the bet?" Haley repeated slowly.

Nathan sighed loudly and threw his hands up into the air. "I bet Lucas that I would sleep with you within a week." He watched her face fall and took a step forward. "Hales, it didn't mean anything. I'm not like that anymore."

Haley uncrossed her arms and took a few steps away from him. When he reached for her, she brought her hand out in front of her body. "Don't," she said sternly.

"Babe, I was a different guy then. You know that," Nathan continued. "Come on. You know this isn't about sex for me. It never was."

She shook her head and let out a sardonic laugh. "Stop lying to my face."

"I'm not lying," he insisted. "I love you. You know that I do. Come on, Haley. Don't make this bigger than it has to be."

"Bigger than it has to be?" she mumbled. "I can't…I can't believe this."

"Haley," he tried again, taking a step closer. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked at her. "It's not as bad as it sounds."

She shrugged his hands off of her shoulders and glared at him. "Oh, it's not as bad as it sounds? So my boyfriend didn't only go after me to win a stupid bet about sex?"

"That wasn't the _only _reason I went after you."

"Oh, well, God…that makes me feel so much better," she muttered sarcastically.

Nathan stared at her, his eyes pleading.

Haley's eyes filled with tears, but she quickly wiped at her eyes before they had a chance to fall. "You know what? Let's do it."

"What?"

"Let's do it," she repeated. "Come on. This is what you wanted, right? Take me. Right here, right now."

"Haley, don't be ridiculous," he said with a shake of his head.

She shook her head as well and stepped close to him, trailing a hand down his chest. "I'm not being ridiculous, Nathan. This is what you wanted, so I'm going to give it to you."

He grabbed her hand just before she reached his belt buckle and pushed it away from him. "This isn't you, Haley. Look, I'm sorry about the bet, okay? I was a different guy, and the person I am today would never do that. I'm sorry."

"You know what I don't understand?" she muttered, creasing her forehead. "I wanted to do more than make out with you a couple of times, and you stopped us. Why is that, Nathan? Why did you stop us when you could have just done it and won the bet?"

"Because-"

"No," she interrupted him, holding up a finger. She reached for the hem of her t-shirt and raised it up, throwing the article of clothing on the floor after it had cleared her head. "You want it? You got it."

Nathan sighed, trying not to look at her now that she was only wearing jeans and a bra. "Haley-"

She interrupted him again. "No, Nathan. I don't want to hear about how you love me so you'll wait for me, and I don't want to hear some bullshit story about you doing what's best for me. Just fuck me and get it over with already."

Nathan's eyes widened slightly at her words, and he turned to face her again. He had never heard Haley use that kind of language before. He was shocked, to say the least.

Before he could say anything, Haley had him pinned up against the wall of his dorm room, and her body was pressing into his. She moved her lips to his and kissed him fervently for several minutes before pulling away and resting her forehead against his. She kept her eyes on his as she whispered against his lips, "Fuck me." Her eyes slowly filled with tears, but she kept her body pressed tightly against his. "Don't say you love me. Fuck me like you fucked all those other girls. Fuck me like you don't care about me." She kissed him again, pushing her tongue into his mouth forcefully. When she pulled away, a single tear rolled down her cheek, and she didn't even try to stop it. "Fuck me," she whispered again. "Because after this…I'm done."

Nathan's eyes, at this point, were filled with tears as well. He could see how much she meant those words, especially the last two, and it broke his heart. But her lower body grinding into his was also turning him on to no end. And only later would he fully feel the regret and the guilt of his next actions.

Haley felt her back slam into the wall on the other side of the room a moment later, and she let out a whimper at the mixture of pain and pleasure that it evoked. She immediately moved her hands to his jeans as their lips fused together. She unbuttoned the button and slid the zipper down quickly before pushing the material down his legs. She pulled her lips away from his so she could pull his shirt over his head.

Nathan stepped out of his jeans and then quickly removed Haley's as well. His hands found her ass, and he lifted her up, feeling her legs wrap around his waist. His lips found her neck and he began leaving gentle bites along the exposed skin before soothing over the marks with his tongue. He quickly unhooked her bra with one hand and then slid the straps down her arms before throwing the piece of material over his shoulder.

"Hurry up," Haley whispered against his lips before kissing him again. She pushed his boxers down with her hands and attached her lips to his neck as he stepped out of them.

Literally not even thinking about what he was doing, Nathan slid his hand inside her panties and ripped the material from her body, throwing it over the same shoulder he had thrown her bra a moment earlier. His mouth found her breasts, and he heard her moaning a second later.

Haley's head flew back against the wall, and she buried her fingers in his hair. For a moment or two she let him ravish her breasts, but then she grabbed his hair and pulled it away from her chest. "Just do it," she whispered into his ear, capturing the lobe between her lips.

Nathan closed his eyes and waited until she had pulled away again. Then he moved his lips to hers and pushed into her roughly, one hand holding her ass and the other glued to her breast. "Shit," he muttered. "You're so tight, Hales."

"Shh," she whispered, closing her eyes tight. "Don't say my name. Just move." He quickly complied, and Haley squeezed her eyes shut even tighter as she tried to drown out the pain she was feeling. After a moment, she captured his lips and shoved her tongue into his mouth, trying to distract herself with something else. When Nathan hoisted her up again so she wouldn't fall, her back slammed into the wall for the second time. At the same time, he started moving faster, and the pain started dulling as the pleasure she was feeling heightened. She gripped his back and buried her head in his neck, biting his shoulder harshly.

Nathan groaned when he felt her teeth on his skin and picked up his pace again in response. "Fuck," he mumbled when she began to join in his rhythmic movements. "You feel so good," he whispered into her hair.

Haley bit her lip in an attempt to silence the long moans escaping her throat. "Harder," she breathed a moment later, feeling herself starting to unwind.

Nathan knew it wouldn't be long, and he quickly did as she'd told him, pounding his hips into hers harder. His mouth found her breasts again, but when he knew she was about to come he lifted his head, wanting to see her face.

Haley threw her head back, and her arms tightened their grip around his neck as she let herself go. Her eyes shut, and her mouth opened in a silent scream of pleasure.

Seconds later, Nathan released himself inside of her, groaning her name as he did so.

Haley watched him carefully and then untangled her limbs from him. Her feet hit the floor, and then she felt his lips on hers.

Nathan kissed her softly and then pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you," he whispered.

She opened her eyes, which were now filled with tears again, and bit her lip. "I have to go," she whispered back, slipping under his arm.

He watched her gather her clothes and get dressed. When she reached the door, he called out to her.

Haley didn't turn around; she didn't want to see his face. "Goodbye, Nathan," she responded before opening the door and slipping out into the hallway.

* * *

After showering, Nathan drove to his mom's restaurant. When he walked in she tried to talk to him, but he ignored her, simply brushing past her on his way to the roof. He slid the door open and sat down with his back pressed against the ledge. He closed his eyes and rested his face in his hands. What the hell had just happened?

He had always known there was a chance of Haley finding out about the bet, but that whole thing meant nothing to him. He hadn't thought about Haley like that since that first day, and even then it was only for a split second. She meant so much to him. How could she not know that? He knew that what he'd said when she'd asked him about the bet wasn't enough. He hadn't provided any good reasons, and he hadn't really defended himself much at all. Truthfully he was just being lazy, and he didn't expect her to freak out as badly as she had. To him it was all in the past, but sitting on the roof he realized that that wasn't the case for Haley. She had just found out about it a few hours ago, so for her it just happened. Of course she was upset. And Nathan knew how self-conscious and nervous Haley was about sex. He also knew that she was planning on doing it with him at some point, and the fact that she now thought that was all he was after broke his heart. He'd barely even tried to convince her otherwise. What kind of a loser did that make him?

He wasn't even mad at Lucas for mentioning the bet. In most circumstances he'd probably be fuming, but it just didn't seem to matter. The only person he could be mad at was himself. He was the one who made the bet, and he was the one who had treated Haley like a piece of meat that first day. No wonder it was so easy for her to believe all he wanted was sex. It couldn't be farther from the truth, but how was she going to know that when he'd just stood there mumbling? God, he wanted to go back in time.

He couldn't lie. When she mentioned them having sex, he had freaked out on the inside. It wasn't his girl talking, and he knew that. Still, he didn't convince her that she meant more to him than sex, and he didn't insist that they just cool off and slow down. He'd just let her keep talking and apparently let her continue to convince herself that having sex was the right thing to do. He knew it wasn't, and that's why he resisted. The timing wasn't right, and neither were their emotions.

Seeing Haley take her shirt off in front of him had definitely sent all his blood south, but still he didn't feel like he was going to give in. He still knew that what she was suggesting was wrong in every way, and he knew that she didn't actually want today to be their first time making love.

But they hadn't made love. Hearing Haley drop the F-bomb once was appalling, but she had said it multiple times. It wasn't the word that shocked and hurt Nathan though; it was the meaning of all her words combined. She had told him to fuck her, not to say her name, not to say he loved her, to fuck her like she was just another girl. But she wasn't just another girl; she never had been. He was weak though. And feeling her petite frame pressed against his already hard member did nothing to stop him from caving. He had seen lust in her eyes, but he had also seen the tears. She looked defeated, and she looked scared. But in that moment, Nathan became an animal. He took her roughly, and he honestly wasn't thinking much about her comfort or her pleasure.

He had seen the pain in her eyes though. It had flashed across her entire face when he'd pushed into her, and it hadn't disappeared until moments later. And she hadn't said his name once the entire time. She had followed her own rules by not doing that and not telling him that she loved him.

Hearing her say that he should fuck her because after, she was done…Nathan couldn't even describe the panic he still felt from those words. What if she hadn't been bluffing? What if that was it for them? And what if all he had ended up giving her was another painful memory like the one that guy had given her over two years ago? Nathan wasn't sure he could live with that. Haley was everything to him, and after she walked out he knew immediately that their fast coupling had been a mistake.

It was supposed to be special…for her. He remembered promising her that their first time together would be special and romantic. He remembered promising her that he would give her everything. And he had broken both of those promises. There was nothing special about what they had done. Haley had made sure that what they accomplished was not a lovemaking session. They had fucked, and that's what hurt Nathan the most. He had let it happen. And nothing he experienced with Haley was supposed to be that nonchalant or petty. It was all wrong. Everything about it was wrong.

And still, when they were done he had told her he loved her. He couldn't help himself. Even in that moment, he had felt the faint stirrings of guilt inside himself, and he'd wanted to change it. He'd wanted her to know that he loved her and that everything he felt for her was still true. His heart longed for her. But she hadn't said it back, and instead she had said goodbye. And he hadn't even tried to stop her.

Nathan rubbed his eyes furiously as he sobbed. He had never hated himself more, and he couldn't even imagine how Haley would be feeling. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew she wouldn't want that. And that hurt.

Hearing the sliding door open, his head snapped up, and he inwardly groaned when he saw his mother approaching him. He loved his mom, but he really just wanted to be alone.

When Deb saw that her son was crying, she rushed over to him and sat next to him, throwing her arms around him.

Despite himself, Nathan cried on her shoulder. Surprisingly it felt good to have someone there comforting him, even if she had no idea what it was about. A moment later, he lifted his head and looked at her helplessly. "What am I supposed to do without her, Mom?" His voice cracked with every word, and so did his heart.

* * *

No one else was in the bathrooms on her floor, and Haley took that as her cue. She grabbed everything she needed for a shower and practically ran into the stall, instantly removing her towel and turning the hot water on. She continued to turn the dial until her skin was burning, and once she was satisfied she closed her eyes and leaned against the tiled wall. What the hell had she done? Biting her lip, she slid down the wall and wrapped her arms around her knees after bringing them up to her chest. When she remembered that there was no one else in the bathrooms, she allowed herself to sob. She needed to let it all out.

She wasn't really sure why finding out about the bet hurt her so much. Sure, sex was and had always been a big deal in her eyes, but it was more than that. Nathan had basically promised himself to her when he'd proposed, and now she just felt like everything they'd shared was a lie. She felt stupid for falling in love with him and believing that he could be a different person than the one she heard about daily. She felt betrayed, and she felt materialized. How could their entire relationship be based on sex when they hadn't even had it yet? It made no sense to her. She didn't and couldn't understand why he would do something like that…say something like that about her. It didn't matter that he'd made the bet a month and a half ago, and it didn't matter that they hadn't even gone on their first date at the time. None of it mattered because now that was all she could think about. Every moment, every touch that they had ever shared…it was all a lie.

And he hadn't even tried to defend himself. He had just stood there, for the most part. Obviously he didn't feel too terribly guilty about it. And she figured that was because his feelings were still the same. He was still only interested in getting into her pants, and she had been right about him all along. In that moment, she felt something for Nathan that she never thought she'd ever feel for him. Hate. She actually felt hatred toward him, but she felt it even more intensely for herself. Even with everything she'd gone through in the past, she had let him in and let him dominate her heart. She felt like an idiot.

As for the rest of her words and actions, Haley couldn't explain them very well, even to herself. All she knew was that even if it was only for sex, Nathan wanted her. So in a moment of weakness, she decided he could have whatever he wanted. He could fuck her senseless if he wanted to; it didn't matter to her. Who said it had to mean anything? She was tired of falsely believing that sex was some magical, loving experience. That was a lie, too. Her first sexual experience was horrible and forced. Guys didn't want anything more than sex, so what was the point in keeping that from them?

So she'd taken her shirt off, and she'd seen it in his eyes. He'd wanted her. Then she'd said and done things that had surprised her own damn self. She'd told him to fuck her, not to tell her he loved her, not to say her name, but to fuck her…like she was one of his one night stands from two months ago. It didn't have to mean anything.

What hurt more than anything, though, was the fact that he had done it. And he was a guy, after all…what else was he going to do? Say no? He hadn't seemed to mind much. And even though he had said her name and told her that he loved her, she had ignored all his words. She just wanted to feel him. She wanted to at least be able to take that from their relationship. And God, it had hurt at first. It had been fast, it had been hard…because they had fucked. They hadn't made love like he had promised her they would.

She hadn't lied when she'd said she was done. It was the truth, and as she sat on the shower floor crying, it was still the truth. She couldn't handle being with him anymore. Combined with the stress of college and a job, she just couldn't do it. First, he proposed to her, and then three days later she found out that their entire relationship had started because of a bet. It was all too much of a roller coaster for her. She didn't want to have such a huge amount of stress in her life at twenty-one years old. She just wanted to be twenty-one. Work, go to school, hang out with her friends…and Nathan just seemed to make it all so much harder. So she was done. She was done with him, and she hoped that he had believed those words because she wasn't sure she'd be able to find the strength to say them again and watch his heart break a third time.

* * *

Nathan followed his teammates into the locker room the next day after practice. He wasn't allowed to do anything but run, so that's what he had done for the entire practice. He was actually grateful for it because he had worked out a lot of frustrations. Still, he hadn't talked to anybody. He had responded to the coach and no one else, not even Lucas. Luckily Grant hadn't tried to talk to him because he wasn't sure what he would do if he was provoked.

"So I heard about you and Haley, man. Sorry, bro." Speak of the goddamn devil.

Nathan narrowed his eyes at him. "What'd you hear, prick?"

Grant shrugged and couldn't help but smirk to himself. "You two aren't together anymore. She told me, man. That blows for you." He glanced up at him. "Not so much for me though."

Nathan grabbed Grant's jersey with his good hand and stepped close to him. "If you touch her, you're dead," he gritted out.

Lucas grabbed his arm. "Nate, you need to calm down. If Coach comes in, you're going to be the dead one."

"Yeah. Don't worry, man," Grant answered, grabbing a towel. "I'll take good care of your girl." He winked before walking quickly to the showers.

"Nathan, what the hell?" Lucas muttered. "Is that why you've had a stick up your ass all day?"

Nathan shoved Lucas before grabbing his own towel. "Shut the fuck up, and stop trying to talk to me about it. I'm not in the damn mood."

"Clearly," Lucas mumbled, watching his brother walk the same path that Grant had.

Nathan ended up staying late. He just sat in the gym. He couldn't bring himself to go see Haley. She wouldn't want to see him anyways.

Hearing the gym door open, Nathan looked up and saw Grant walking towards him. "You here to get your ass kicked?" Nathan asked, standing up and eyeing him.

"Man, I don't understand what your problem is with me," Grant replied. "I like you."

"You know exactly what my problem is."

Grant shrugged. "Listen, I understand why you're so upset. Haley's a hot piece of ass. But you need to get over it before you get back on the court because we need a winning season."

"You really do want to get your ass kicked, don't you?" Nathan took a few steps forward until he was directly in front of Grant.

Grant smirked. "Come on, man. You've got a broken hand. What the hell are you going to do?" He shook his head. "Look, you can hate me all you want, but I'm here because I don't want to disrespect you when it comes to Haley. I'm going after her, and I just wanted you to be the first to know."

Nathan's eyes got wider as his fist clenched at his side. "I swear to God…" he muttered. "She doesn't want you. How hard is that for you to understand?"

"I guess just about as hard as it is for you to understand that she doesn't want you either," Grant replied with a small shrug.

Nathan shook his head. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about. So stay out of it, and stay away from Haley."

Grant took a few steps backwards. "And who's going to stop me, tough guy?" He laughed before turning around and starting towards the gym doors.

Nathan took a few deep breaths, hoping to calm himself down, but in the end it was useless. Before he knew it his feet were carrying him towards his teammate, and he tackled him to the ground. Once he had him pinned, he used his left hand to punch him square in the jaw and repeated the action over and over again until he heard a whistle blow across the court. Then he felt hands pulling him off of Grant, and he realized that it was his coach. One of the assistant coaches was kneeling next to Grant who looked like he was unconscious.

Nathan closed his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to take the last two days back…all of it.

* * *

**P.S. The sex scene was also pretty concise, and just so you guys know I wrote it that way for a reason. Thanks for reading! Please let me know your thoughts, even if you do hate me for this chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I know I know, don't die when you see that I've updated! This chapter, in part, was pretty difficult for me to write, but I enjoyed it. I tried to get as much Nathan/Haley time in as possible for you guys. I know the last few chapters haven't had as much. And no matter how you're feeling right now...trust me when I say that this is nowhere near the end for this story. Nathan and Haley still have a lot to experience together and a lot of growing to do both as individuals and as a couple. Thank you for the responses to Chapter 9! Definitely made my day today, and it's why I wanted to update again. So please enjoy!**

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Nathan looked up when he heard a loud banging on the dorm room door and quickly stood up to go answer it. It was late, and all he wanted to do was go to sleep, but the person out in the hallway obviously had different plans.

His coach had not been happy about how he'd found two of his starting seniors the night before. He was especially pissed at Nathan, and as punishment he was suspended. Of course, he still had more than three weeks left before his cast came off, but the coach had decided that once he had his cast off Nathan was suspended for two weeks. And that, of course, had pissed Nathan off to no end. He was angry about every single aspect of his life, but every punishment and guilty feeling was deserved. He had been an ass to Haley, to Lucas, to Grant, and pretty much to everyone else that had spoken to him. But still, he didn't regret hitting Grant. It's not like the guy wasn't okay; he'd just been knocked out. Hell, he'd woken up five minutes later. It had felt amazing to finally release all the hatred he had for his teammate, and he was really fucking tired of listening to him disrespect Haley. She didn't deserve that, not from him and not from anyone else.

They hadn't spoken at all in the last two days, and it was killing him. He hadn't even seen her, not once. He missed her. He missed the way they had been before everything…the proposal, the bet, the sex. All of those things had been mistakes, and he wished he could take them all back.

He'd been thinking about it a lot in the past two days without Haley. He still wanted to be her husband; he still wanted to spend his life with her. But it was wrong of him to propose to her and scare her like that so soon in the relationship. She didn't want the same things he did, and it was wrong of him to automatically assume that she did. The proposal had been a mistake, but her saying no hadn't been. He knew that even if she had accepted his proposal, she would have called it off after finding out about the bet. After all, she had called off their entire relationship. They were no longer together, and when he allowed himself to think about it he felt physical pain. It wasn't supposed to be that way. He wasn't supposed to be missing her; they were supposed to be together.

The banging continued, and he took a deep breath as he brought his left hand up to the doorknob. Whoever it was did not sound happy. Finally, he turned the knob and opened the door, shocked to see Haley standing out in the hallway.

But she wasn't in the hallway for long. She had burst into the room without a thought and then turned around to face him, slapping him hard in the chest. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she shouted.

Nathan kicked the door shut and brought a hand up to his chest. Damn, she could hit hard when she wanted to. "What are you talking about?" he asked, looking at her like she was crazy.

She rolled her eyes. "Grant. Was it really necessary for you to beat him up? Do you always have to be such a guy about everything, Nathan? He didn't do anything to you."

"He didn't do anything to me?" he questioned, his eyes wide. "Haley, he was talking shit about you. I'm not going to apologize for getting angry about that."

Haley drew in a breath and wrapped her arms around herself. "You have no reason to get angry about that," she said quietly. "We're not together anymore."

Nathan shook his head. "And you think that's going to stop me from protecting you when I see that a bad guy wants to go after you, Haley? That's never going to happen. I'll never be that guy."

"And who was protecting me when you were that bad guy, Nathan?" Haley retorted with a shake of her head. "Who _is _protecting me when you're _still _that bad guy?"

"Why am I a bad guy, Haley?" Nathan asked, making sure to keep his voice calm. "I love you, and I want to be with you. How does that make me a bad guy?"

Haley shook her head and held up a hand. "I'm not here to talk about our relationship. I'm here to tell you to stop messing with Grant. He didn't do anything to deserve being knocked out, just like I didn't do anything to deserve what you did to me."

"And what was that? What exactly did I do to you that was so bad?" Nathan questioned. He took a step closer to her, but there was still a good few feet between them. "I hurt you, and I know that, okay? I know that, and it kills me. Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do, but I didn't feel that way when I first saw you. I admitted that to you on our first date. I never lied to you, Haley."

"No, I guess you just conveniently left some things out," Haley muttered sarcastically. "You know what? I wanted to see if you felt even an ounce of remorse for your actions, but clearly you don't. So there's no reason for me to be here." She moved around him.

Nathan grabbed her wrist gently.

Haley stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes, breathing in a deep breath. God, it felt so good to have him touch her. Two days apart had felt like a lifetime, and even just his hand holding her own made her feel amazing. It made her feel whole again. But she quickly opened her eyes and shoved those thoughts out of her mind as she turned around to face him. "What do you want from me, Nathan?" she asked weakly.

"I want you," he replied vehemently, looking into her eyes.

Haley bit her lip and shut her eyes. "Don't do that," she whispered. "You can't just say that. It doesn't make everything okay again. Nothing can."

"Yes it can," he assured her, letting go of her hand so he could caress her cheek. "Please just give me another chance, Hales. Please." He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. "We need to talk about it…what happened between us."

She shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. God, why did she always have to cry when she was around him? It was like some sort of a curse. She reached a hand up and placed it over his which was resting on her cheek. She stroked the back of his hand for a couple of seconds before pushing it away from her face. "No," she whispered. Before he could say anything, she turned and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. She practically ran to the steps so she could make it up to her dorm room before the tears started falling. It hurt so bad to say no to him, but she couldn't say yes. She couldn't be with him, not after everything that had transpired. They weren't right for each other.

* * *

Nathan approached the library apprehensively, holding a small stack of papers in his left hand. The library wasn't a place he was too fond of, as he had never been very good at school and usually only the overachievers hung out inside. He hated how quiet it was, but he had been with Haley before. When he was there with her, it wasn't so bad. He'd usually just watch her work even though he had his own homework to focus on. He would watch her wiggle her pen between her fingers as she tried to figure out the answer to a math problem or purse her lips in the cute way that she did when she was trying to find the best way to word a sentence for an English paper. The library wasn't so boring sitting next to Haley James, even if they weren't talking. She captivated him with both her beauty and her intelligence. Even though the latter had never been a qualification he looked for in girls, he found that he admired Haley so much for her dedication to her studies. He loved that she loved to learn and that she had a wide array of knowledge with which to challenge him. It gave her an edge, but he liked it. And he loved her.

And he missed her. A week had gone by since she had come to visit him in his dorm room to warn him about Grant. And God, he had been confused after she left. He honestly didn't understand why the hell she cared. Yes, beating the guy up had been impulsive and stupid, and he was certainly going to pay for it. But why did Haley care about Grant? Why had she warned him to stay away from him? Were they good friends now? His thoughts about the two of them had been driving him crazy the entire week, and when he was alone the only thought that occupied his mind was that maybe Haley wasn't. Maybe she and Grant were hanging out like he and Haley had done in the first weeks of their relationship. Maybe he was fooling her, and maybe she was falling for it. Or even worse…maybe they actually had feelings for each other.

He'd seen Grant at practice, but they had safely avoided each other, as per the coach's orders. Unfortunately, he and Haley had avoided each other as well. They didn't exactly run in the same circles, his disdain for the library a testament to that, so now that they weren't dating they never saw each other. Neither one made an attempt to contact the other, but that was changing today. Nathan pushed open the door to the library, knowing that he needed Haley in more ways than one.

Haley tapped her pen against the table a few times, trying to get herself to focus. It was nearly impossible though because Nathan had been occupying her thoughts for the entire week. Not only Nathan…but also what they had done. God, she couldn't get it out of her head. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that the entire thing was her fault. Yes, Nathan had made the bet, but he definitely wasn't to blame for the rest of it. Haley was the one who had practically begged him to fuck her. She hadn't begged him to make love to her like she so desperately wanted him to because in those moments, she didn't want to feel good about herself. She didn't want to experience something so intimate with Nathan…something that she knew would only bring them closer together. And she knew that if they had made love that day, she wouldn't have been able to leave him. But that was something she had to do. So instead, she had asked him to do what he did with every other girl. And at the time, it had made sense, but now it was the exact opposite. It shouldn't have happened like that. She shouldn't have allowed it to happen like that.

Nathan walked up the steps inside the library, taking two at a time. He knew she would be there. He knew because it was Tuesday night, and Haley was always at the library on Tuesday nights. She had an English quiz every Wednesday, without fail, and the library was where she liked to study for those quizzes. Nathan had gone with her a few times and just watched her as she concentrated on her studies. She would sneak glances at him, and once on their way out she had pulled him in between two rows of books and attacked him with her lips. It had been hot as hell. Nathan genuinely smiled at the memory, but once his current circumstance came flooding back to him it faded.

Once he had made it through the maze of books that was the library, he saw her. She was sitting at one of the back tables, the one that she always sat at. No one else was there. It was nine o'clock at night, after all. No one else ventured off to the library at that hour…only Haley James. Again, he smiled and let it fade slowly. She looked frustrated as she tapped her pen on the table, and he knew his guess was correct when he heard her let out a long sigh. After taking a deep breath, he crossed the small space until he was in front of her table and cleared his throat.

Haley jumped, her pen immediately flying out of her hand. When she looked up and saw Nathan, she breathed a sigh of relief before glaring at him. She didn't want him to be there. She didn't want to see him, not when her emotions were so out of control. He could always read her so perfectly, and she knew tonight would probably be no different. The only time she knew she had hidden her emotions well was the day they were together in his dorm room. Even as their bodies became one, she could tell he didn't know what it meant for them. She could tell that he didn't know what to make of it all, and she could tell that he was scared. But she was scared, too, and she decided to focus on her own fears.

"You scared the hell out of me," she breathed.

"Sorry," Nathan muttered with a sheepish smile. "I didn't mean to."

Haley sighed and picked up her pen again, focusing her eyes on her paper. She was really behind on her homework. Even when she and Nathan were together and she'd zone out on him constantly, she'd still done well in all her classes. She hadn't let herself fall behind, but things were different now. She wasn't getting any sleep, and he was constantly on her mind. Everything she saw reminded her of him, and she hoped that one day that would go away because it hurt too much. Thinking about Nathan and knowing that their time together was over hurt too damn much. "Do you need something, or are you just here to annoy me?" she mumbled.

Nathan shrugged slightly. "How do you even know I knew you'd be here? Maybe I'm just here to study, too."

Looking up, Haley licked her lips. "You knew I'd be here, Nathan," she whispered.

"Okay, you caught me," he replied, looking at the ground. "The truth is I need your help, Hales."

"Sorry, I'm all out of sex today," she muttered, refocusing on her paper.

Nathan inwardly groaned but took a few steps forward, setting his papers down on her table. He sat down in the chair opposite her and placed his hands on the table. "That's not funny, Hales," he said softly.

"It wasn't a joke," she retorted, her eyes never leaving her paper. "Unlike our relationship."

"Don't do that," he replied, slightly glaring at her. "Don't pretend that our relationship didn't mean anything to you."

Haley looked up and set her pen down again. "I'm not, Nathan. Our relationship did mean something to me. But I know it didn't to you, so I'm just trying to make you comfortable."

Nathan drew in a long breath before slamming his good fist down on the table. "Damn it, Haley. You know that's not true. You meant everything to me. You still do."

"Well that's great," she said sarcastically, adding a fake smile. "Now tell me what you need help with so that I can say no and you can be on your way."

He shook his head with a bitter smile. "I'm failing French."

She scoffed. "And that matters to me why?"

"You don't have to be a bitch to me, Haley. I get that you're over me, but I'm not over you."

God, he was so wrong. She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. She knew she was being a bitch, but she didn't know what else to do. Every time she was around Nathan she instantly became vulnerable, and although she had loved it in the beginning of their relationship now she hated it. Being vulnerable had ruined her relationship with him, as well as a lot of other things in her life. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Nathan ran a hand over his face roughly before looking at her again. "Look, I was just…I was just wondering if you could help me. You're the only person I know that knows this stuff and remembers it well enough to tutor me. I know you probably don't give a shit, but if I fail this class basketball's over. I'm already out for the next month, and I can't afford to miss anything more after that."

"Maybe you should've thought about that before unleashing your fists of fury on your teammate," she bit back.

"You think that I don't think about that every day?" he said loudly, standing up and kicking his chair away from the table. He quieted his voice but leaned forward with his hands on the table as he looked into her eyes. "You think I don't regret every decision I've made in the past few weeks? Making that stupid bet, proposing to you like a damn fool, punching Grant, and…being with you," he finished in a whisper.

Haley narrowed her eyes at him. "You mean fucking me?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. He hated hearing those words come out of her mouth. It was so unlike Haley, and it only reminded him that that was exactly what had happened. He didn't want to hear it. "Stop it," he whispered, his voice cracking.

"Why?" she asked. "Why should I stop? That's what happened, right? We fucked. Don't act like that's not exactly what you wanted out of our relationship, Nathan."

"It wasn't," he protested, opening his eyes. "Not at all."

Haley shook her head. "And why don't I believe you?" When she looked at him, she was suddenly hit with a memory, and the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Oh, my God," she whispered. "That day…that day in the café with you and Luke…that was the bet you were talking about." She didn't form a question. Instead, she stated the facts as her eyes closed.

"Hales-"

"No," she interrupted him forcefully, looking him in the eye now. "You sat there and just lied to my face. I can't believe you." She shook her head in disbelief. "You know what, Nathan? I will help you. Not because I love you and sure as hell not because you deserve it. I'll help you because I know how much basketball means to you and as much…as much as I hate you, I don't want to see you lose that."

"What?" he muttered weakly, looking up at her. "You…you hate me?"

"What did you expect?" she mumbled, looking away.

God, he had known it was bad. He had known that she didn't feel the way she had a few weeks ago, but hate? How could she hate him after the intensity of their relationship? How could she hate him after everything they had shared together? "Forget it," he said, picking up his papers from the table and beginning to back away. "I'll find someone else to help me. Have a great life with Grant." He gave her a nod and turned around, quickly exiting the library.

* * *

"What are you doing, Hales?" Lucas asked quietly as he entered the café his friend worked at.

"I'm working," she answered simply as she picked up an order at the counter. "And we're kind of swamped right now, Luke, so I can't really talk." She gave him an apologetic smile before pushing past him to deliver the order she was carrying.

Lucas watched her carefully. Nathan and Haley were both struggling, and it just couldn't be any more damn obvious. Brooke had noticed, too, and their friends had become a pretty permanent topic of conversation for the couple. Lucas didn't know what they were feeling, but he did know how he felt about Brooke. And he knew that it was possible to fall in love in six weeks. He also knew that if he lost Brooke, he wasn't sure what he would do. It was killing him to see how much his brother and his friend were hurting. They were both being stubborn, and neither one was communicating with the other effectively.

When she came back by, Lucas grabbed her arm. "Just for a second, Hales."

Haley sighed and glanced around the busy café before nodding at him.

Lucas led her outside until they were directly outside the entrance. Then he looked at her sadly, placing his hands inside his pockets. "What are you doing?" he asked, repeating his question from earlier. "You haven't been yourself lately, Hales."

Closing her eyes briefly, Haley waved it off. "Luke, I've just been really stressed with work and classes. It's really not a big deal. I'm fine." She gave him the best reassuring smile she could muster.

Unfortunately, it wasn't very convincing. "You're not fine, Haley," Luke insisted. "And neither is Nathan. What did you tell me and Brooke when we were scared about opening up to each other? You said that we needed to communicate with each other or we weren't going to get anywhere. And you were right. I think that's what you and Nate need right now. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel."

"Lucas, I don't want to talk to him," Haley snapped. "I don't. That's the truth. I don't want to speak to him, and I don't want to see him. It hurts too much. You're his brother. You know how he is with girls. I wasn't any different for him; you know that."

"No, I don't," Lucas insisted. "I'll admit that I had my doubts about Nathan's feelings towards you, but now…I don't know. He's lost without you, Hales. A blind man could see it."

She shook her head defiantly and crossed her arms over her chest.

Lucas sighed. "And by the way…what the hell are you doing with Grant?"

"Nothing," she responded simply. "We've hung out, like, twice. It's not like I'm into him."

"Nathan seems to think that you are."

"Well, Nathan needs to mind his own damn business," Haley replied. "We aren't in each other's lives anymore, and who I hang out with isn't up to him. It never was."

"Just think about it, okay? If for no other reason, do it for me. At least talk to him. I need my brother back." He looked at her sympathetically. "And my friend."

Haley managed to give him a nod and a small smile. "For what it's worth, I appreciate you caring, Luke."

He nodded. "Nathan cares, too, you know. But he's hurting just like you are. It may not be for the same reasons, but it's all pain."

She nodded slowly. "Did he…did he tell you what happened between us?" she asked quietly.

Lucas shook his head. "No, he didn't. And that's how I know it must have been bad. He tends to struggle through the big stuff alone. He's kind of like you in that way." He gave her a pointed look.

Haley let out a light laugh. "Alright, I've got to get back to work. I'll see you later." She gave him a quick hug before going back inside to finish her shift.

* * *

Another week passed without the two of them speaking, and things only got harder. Sometimes the pain was almost unbearable. Haley knew it might sound childish, but her heart ached for Nathan in ways she didn't even know it could. She wanted him so much. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before everything got so screwed up. She wanted a do over.

She just couldn't help the way that she felt. She couldn't help the fact that everything she and Nathan had been through left her with an insurmountable number of doubts and insecurities. Most of the time, she couldn't even understand her own feelings, let alone explain them to someone else. But she knew Luke had been right when he'd told her she and Nathan needed to work it out. She just wasn't sure she could do that yet. She needed time, and she needed space.

However, a part of her just ached to be around him. It was so intense that several times she considered giving in and going to see him. It was easy not to, though, since the team had been on the road for their games for most of the week. They were back though. She knew they were back because Brooke was out with Lucas tonight celebrating the team's latest victory.

Even if all they did was fight, it would be better than the silence. She made that decision in a split second, and after jumping out of her chair and slipping her shoes on, she rushed downstairs. Her knocks on his door were frantic. She needed to see his face and hear his voice. Her heart needed that.

"Hi," she said quietly after he had opened the door.

Nathan sent her a confused glance, but he definitely wasn't complaining about her being there. "Uh…hey," he replied uneasily.

"Can I…come in?" she asked timidly, wringing her hands together in front of her.

"Yeah, of course," he answered quickly, opening the door wider. Once she had entered, he closed the door quietly and looked at her. "What's up?"

Haley kept her eyes on her hands. "I…I don't know why I'm here. I just…I wanted to see you," she muttered meekly.

Nathan smiled slightly and took a step closer to her. "I'm glad you came," he said genuinely.

They stood there for long moments, both avoiding each other's eyes. It was the first awkward silence they'd experienced together, and neither liked the feeling. Finally, Nathan spoke, his voice soft but strong.

"I miss you."

She didn't know why, but for some reason her eyes filled with tears at hearing those words come out of his mouth. She tried to blink them away, but her efforts proved futile.

Nathan took a few steps closer until he was right in front of her and was relieved when she didn't move away. He brought a hand up to caress her cheek gently. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "God, I am so sorry I hurt you. I miss you so much."

Haley closed her eyes and couldn't help it when she naturally leaned into the touch of his hand. "Please stop saying that," she whispered back.

"Why?" he questioned. "It's the truth."

She bit her lip harshly, trying desperately to keep her tears at bay. "Because I don't deserve an apology from you," she whispered painfully. "I don't deserve for you to miss me…for you to love me."

"But I do," he replied. His body and brain were on fire right now. Haley was revealing things to him that he had been waiting to hear for weeks. All he wanted was for her to tell him how she was feeling and explain to him why she didn't want him anymore. But what she was saying made no sense. "And you do deserve it, Hales. Why wouldn't you?"

"Because everything that's happened between us has been my fault," she answered as a few tears finally escaped. She was saying things to Nathan that she hadn't yet admitted to herself, and if she was being honest that was one of the reasons she'd come to see him. Nathan made her see herself and be honest with herself in a way that no one else could. He really did make her brave…brave enough to face her own fears and brave enough to tell him the complete truth.

Nathan's eyebrows knit together. "Hales, that's not true. I'm the one that screwed up. I'm the one to blame, not you."

Haley shook her head, finally allowing herself to look up into his eyes. "Nathan, I'm the one that let this relationship go forward in the first place. I know we both messed up, but…but everything I did was so much worse. That day…" She buried her face in his chest and tucked her arms between their bodies. "It just…it wasn't supposed to be like that," she continued to whisper. "_We _weren't supposed to be like that."

He didn't have to ask her what she was talking about. He knew, and hearing how broken her voice was and how much she obviously regretted what they had done made his heart hurt. He couldn't stand knowing that she was in pain and that it was their relationship that had caused it. "I know, baby," he whispered back, wrapping both his arms around her. He could feel her wet tears falling on his shirt, and he closed his eyes. "I know," he repeated. "Shh."

Haley fisted his shirt as she listened to his soothing voice, but it just wasn't working this time. The things she was feeling were just too heavy. "I'm so sorry," she muttered. "I know that you waited a long time for me, and I just…I don't know what happened. I snapped. I didn't…I didn't mean it."

"Hales, there's got to be a reason," he said softly into her hair.

She pulled her head away from his chest slightly and sniffled. "I just wanted you to want me so badly," she said with a blush. "I wanted to be sexy and fun for you like everyone else. And I…I didn't want him to be the last one to have me. I didn't want him to have that over me…over you. Because he never meant as much to me as you did."

Nathan tried not to let the fact that she was speaking about her feelings for him in the past tense get to him. And again, he didn't have to ask who she was talking about. He knew.

"And I think the whole bet thing just triggered it all," she added with a small shrug.

Nathan rubbed her back slowly with his left hand and placed a kiss on her shoulder through her t-shirt. "Baby, I know you don't believe me, but I always wanted you. Always," he reiterated, lifting her chin so he could see her eyes. "And I never wanted you to be like them. I only wanted you to be yourself. That's enough for me, okay? You're perfect for me. I don't want anyone else." He paused. "And you're not the one who should be apologizing. I should have been strong enough to know that you didn't want that. I should have been strong enough to stop it."

"Why did you do it?" she whispered. "The bet, I mean."

Nathan sighed softly and shrugged his shoulders. "I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I wish that I could tell you, but I don't know why I did it, Hales. I was a jackass." He saw her look away, obviously not pleased with his answer. "Look, all I was interested in then was sex…from any girl. But I didn't know you, and once I got to know you none of it mattered anymore. You were just this amazing girl who had the ability to take my breath away and make my heart race. You still do…with everything you do. I didn't need sex anymore; I never did. And that's not why I proposed to you either. I proposed to you because I wanted you to be my wife, and I still want that, Haley."

"Then why did you say you regretted it?" she asked. "That day at the library."

He looked down and shrugged. "I said that because…because I know that you don't feel the same way that I do, Haley. I could feel it then, and I can feel it now. You don't want me the way that I want you. You never did." His voice was low, barely above a whisper. "And proposing to you when you obviously didn't feel the same way that I did wasn't fair to you. None of it was fair to you. What we did the day you found out about the bet wasn't fair to you."

"Nathan, none of it was fair to you either," Haley replied quietly.

Nathan's eyes filled with tears, but he kept them glued to the ground so she couldn't see. And it wasn't because of the intensity of the situation. It wasn't because he finally had Haley in his arms again. It was for one reason and one reason only. He had just accused her of not wanting him and not feeling towards him the way he felt towards her. And she hadn't denied it…any of it. His heart was breaking, and no matter how that made him sound it was true. "Haley," he started softly, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as he held her tighter. "I love you, okay? I love you more than anything in this world, and I want you. And just…more than anything, I want you to love me back. But you don't." He pulled away from her and took a few steps back, wiping at his eyes.

"Nathan, that's not true," Haley whispered breathlessly.

"You said you hated me," he whispered brokenly as he looked up at her.

Haley closed her eyes. "Nathan, I didn't…I don't hate you, okay? I wasn't thinking."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Then I guess that's the difference. I could never hate you, Haley, and more than that I could never _say _those words to you." He shook his head. "And maybe you don't hate me, but you don't love me either."

"Nathan…" More than anything, Haley wanted to tell him that she loved him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Something inside of her was stopping her from saying the words, and she hated herself for it. He looked so hurt and so defeated. She'd never seen Nathan Scott like that before.

Nathan nodded sadly. "Yeah," he whispered.

"Nathan, I'm so sorry," she whispered back, her vision blurred from her tears. "I just…I can't do this right now. I can't be with you."

"I get it, Haley," he mumbled.

"No, you don't," she replied.

Nathan held both his hands up. "Just…if you're going to go, then go. I don't want to keep you."

His voice wasn't malicious or angry, and that's what made Haley feel even worse for hurting him. He just sounded…so hurt and miserable. She didn't want to be the one making him feel that way. Wiping her eyes, she walked towards him and leaned up on her toes. "I'm sorry," she whispered again before leaving a long kiss on his cheek. "I'm really sorry," she repeated a moment later and then rushed out of the room.

Nathan stood there, his feet rooted to that spot, for a long while. He didn't even want to move. But after God only knows how long, he made his way over to his nightstand and opened the top drawer. He pulled out the black velvet box that had been sitting inside and opened it, staring at the engagement ring just as he had done the night he proposed to her. But this time, after he'd snapped the box shut he stood up and grabbed his car keys.

He drove for over two hours until he finally pulled up in front of the lake behind his mom's old house. He got out of the car but not before grabbing the ring box and clutching it tightly in his hand. He approached the lake slowly and stared out at the water for a good twenty minutes before rearing back and throwing the box as hard as he could into the lake. Afterwards, his hand returned to his pocket, and he fingered the ring inside of it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Wow, I suck. It's been a week, and trust me when I say that I have missed this just as much as you guys have. Your responses continue to inspire me, so thank you all! School's been crazy, but the main reason for delay of this chapter involves a small wreck that I was involved in. No worries now, but it was very stressful at the time. Anyways, this chapter is longer than most, so hopefully that and its content will make up for the long wait! Thanks for everything, you guys, and enjoy!**

* * *

His first indication that something was wrong was her absence at the library Tuesday night. He had gone to see her because it had been two weeks since their last encounter, and he missed her like hell. Even if all he got to do was see her face for a few seconds, it would be better than nothing at all. But she hadn't been there. The table she usually occupied had been completely empty. So he had waited for an hour, hoping that maybe she was just running late. But she never came. So he left, and he went to her dorm room. She wasn't there, and neither was Brooke. That was when he had really started to worry.

"Dude, you're going crazy," Lucas mumbled as he watched his brother pace frantically around their dorm room. "She's probably fine. Stop freaking out."

Nathan threw his hands up in the air. "Lucas, you don't understand. She is _always _at the library on Tuesdays…no exceptions. I know you think she's just trying to avoid me, but that's not it."

Lucas threw his brother a skeptical look. "Nathan, that is it. You two broke up. Then you showed up at the library when you knew she would be there and got into it again. Why would she keep going there?"

Nathan sighed and shook his head. "I don't know, okay? But something has to be wrong. I have…I have to see her."

Lucas stood up with his own sigh and walked over to his brother. He grabbed both of his shoulders and looked at him sadly. "I know you really miss her, Nate, but you need to calm down. This isn't…this isn't you. Haley is probably perfectly fine. All this worrying you're doing is for nothing."

Moving away from his brother, Nathan sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. "It's been two weeks," he let out, unshed tears morphing his voice. "Two weeks, Luke."

"I know," the older brother replied quietly.

Nathan shook his head. "I can't keep doing this. I can't…I can't live without her, man. I can't."

"I know," Lucas said again with a small nod.

Nathan wiped at his eyes as discreetly as he could and continued to shake his head. "We're supposed to be together, Luke. We're not meant to be apart. We belong together."

Lucas stayed silent and simply nodded as he watched his brother break before him. Nathan definitely hadn't been himself the past two weeks. Lucas had seen him cry numerous times, and that was a rarity he had never witnessed before. Although his brother always tried to hide it, Lucas could always tell when he was crying. And he felt bad for him. He wished that there was something he could say or do to make him feel better, but he knew that there wasn't. The only one that could take the pain away was Haley. If he didn't know how serious the situation was, he would laugh at the irony.

Nathan moved so he was lying down on his back and stared blankly at the ceiling.

"Nate, what happened?" Lucas finally asked. "We've been dancing around the subject for weeks, and you haven't told me anything. You should get it out. It'll help to talk about it."

The younger brother shook his head but spoke anyways. He knew talking about it wouldn't do any good, but he figured he owed Lucas an explanation. He wasn't sure if Brooke knew either. "I…you know I proposed to her."

Lucas nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, that was clearly a bust," Nathan mumbled bitterly. "Things were just different after that. And then…then she heard us fighting about it, and I had to tell her about the bet." He sighed.

"Haley doesn't really seem like the type of girl who would end a relationship because of something like that, Nate," Lucas said.

"I'm not finished," his brother snapped. He sighed again. "I told her about the bet, and she…I don't even know. She freaked out. But she didn't say much, you know? I didn't know what was going on in her head or what she was thinking, but she started taking her clothes off. And she…she told me to fuck her."

Lucas bowed his head. "And you did," he stated.

"Yeah," Nathan whispered. "I don't know. It was just so screwed up, Luke. None of it happened the way it should have. So we…we did it, and then I told her I loved her. And she left. Everything else has been a fight since then," he finished with a shrug.

Lucas closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "God, that sucks, man. I'm sorry."

Nathan nodded. "Me, too. I just wish…I just wish she would talk to me. I don't think she's been telling me everything since then. She'll start to talk about how she feels, but then it's like she stops herself. It's like she doesn't trust me anymore." He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I think that's what hurts the most. The thought that after the kind of relationship we had, she would just stop trusting me. And the thought that I don't deserve for her to trust me."

"Nate, you can't keep beating yourself up over this," Lucas replied softly. "I know that you're hurting, and I get that you both made some mistakes, but what if it's over? You can't wait around for her forever."

Nathan sat up and let out a bitter laugh. "It's not as easy as all of that," he muttered. "I wish it were. I just-" He was cut off by a loud and frantic knock on the door.

Both brothers turned to face the door with confused expressions, but it was Nathan that jumped up and ran to open it. There was a man standing on the other side. He looked vaguely familiar, but Nathan couldn't figure out where he'd seen him before. "Uh, can I help you?" he asked confusedly.

The man nodded. "Nathan, right?"

"Yeah, and you are?"

"I guess you don't remember me," the guy said with a small smile. "I'm Haley's brother, Brian. I…I kind of pushed you that day when I came to check up on her and found you in her room. Sorry about that, by the way."

"Oh," Nathan said slowly, finally recalling the guy's face. "Oh, hey. Are you…are you looking for Haley?"

Brian shook his head and frowned. "Actually, no. Hales is back home. I guess…she really didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?" Nathan inquired, growing even more worried by the second. His suspicions were about to be confirmed. Something was wrong with her.

Brian let out a long sigh and ran a hand over his face. "Our parents got into a…a bit of an accident last night. They were driving back from a road trip to Atlanta, and I guess some drunk driver ran a red light."

"Oh, my God," Nathan mumbled. "Are they okay?"

"Dad is," Brian answered and then lowered his eyes. "Mom's not doing so well. And Hales…Hales is a mess. I was just wondering if you could come back with me and maybe talk to her. She told me you two aren't together anymore, but she also seems pretty lost. From what I've heard, you were the only one to ever really get through to her. I mean, I understand if you can't co-"

Nathan interrupted him. "Let me just grab some stuff, man." He took a few steps back and grabbed his duffel bag off the floor, throwing a few random pieces of clothing into it. God, he had no idea how serious it was with Haley's parents, but all he knew was that he needed to be there for her. All of their recent drama could wait; it would have to. If she needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, he would be those things for her. And if she told him to go, he would do that. But he needed to see her. He needed to know that she was okay…that she was going to be okay.

Once his bag was packed and zipped up, Nathan slung it over his shoulder and turned to face his brother. "Luke, I…I have to go."

Lucas nodded in understanding and placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'll try to cover for you with Coach."

"Thanks," Nathan muttered before giving his brother a quick hug. "Alright, I'm ready." He gave Brian a nod and then followed him out the door.

A huge part of him was incredibly relieved to know that Haley was okay, at least physically. No one had harmed her. But he also knew how much her mother meant to her, and he knew how close they were. He couldn't even imagine what she must be feeling, and he hated that the emotional stress their relationship had caused her probably wasn't helping matters. Unless she was over him…which was a possibility.

The ride to Haley's hometown seemed to take much longer than real time allowed, and Nathan was freaking out the whole time. He didn't know what to expect. Would she be crying? He hated it when she cried. Would she close herself off to him like she always did? He hated that more.

When Brian pulled up outside a house Nathan had never seen before, he turned in his seat and furrowed his brow. "Is she not at the hospital with your mom?"

"No," Brian replied quietly. "Everyone else is. She went last night, but then…then she left. She said she couldn't be around it all."

Nathan nodded.

"I'm going to head back there, but I think you should talk to her. I think she really needs you right now, even if she's not willing to admit it to herself." He gave Nathan a small, reassuring smile.

Nodding again, Nathan opened the door and grabbed his bag. "Thanks again, man, for letting me know," he said as he got out. "It means a lot."

"No problem," Brian replied with a small nod. "Thanks for being there for my little sister. She's never had someone like you before…someone outside of the family that she could really count on, you know?"

"Yeah, I definitely know what you mean," Nathan answered.

"Alright, well I'll catch you later," Brian said as Nathan closed the passenger side door. He gave him a small wave before driving off towards the hospital.

Nathan took a deep breath and looked at the house before him for a few moments before making his way inside. He guessed it was her parents' house, and although the circumstances sucked seeing the place where Haley grew up had him a little excited. It was nice to see where she came from and how she was raised. Once he was inside, Nathan set his bag down just inside the door and then looked around the downstairs, not finding her anywhere. He contemplated calling her name but figured she might be sleeping. He made his way up the stairs, and after only a few seconds he heard the noise of the television coming from a room and let the sound of it lead him there. The door was open, so he walked in silently, but he knew he was in her line of vision.

It was clear she had been crying, but she wasn't doing so right now. Her face looked pretty blank, actually. She was wearing jeans, and he couldn't help but smile when he noticed she was wearing one of his Duke t-shirts. He had left it in her dorm room one of the many nights he had spent over there, and even if it didn't mean anything to her seeing her wear it made him happy. His smile didn't last though. She was sitting at the top of her bed with her legs out in front of her, one ankle crossed over the other. A small teddy bear was tucked under one arm, and her other hand was clutching the television remote. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, and as he glanced over at the television Nathan immediately recognized the show as Boy Meets World. When he heard Haley's voice, his head whipped back around to look at her. Her eyes were still on the TV, but she was talking to him.

"I used to do this when I was little, after I'd had a bad day," she said softly. "I'd come up in my room and snuggle under the covers…just me and Mr. Waffles. And I'd watch this show for…hours. My parents always said it was bad for me to be in front of the TV for so long, but I always ignored them. I just…when I would have a bad day, I would turn this show on, and all of a sudden I didn't have to think about my life anymore. It's like everything could just be put on hold." She finally turned her head to look at him. "Today was a bad day," she whispered.

Nathan looked at her sadly and took a few tentative steps forward.

"And today," she continued, "when I turned this show on I didn't feel like that." She turned the television off and then tossed the remote she'd been holding onto the floor. "I don't feel anything, Nathan. I can't. I…I keep trying, but nothing happens. No matter how long I keep this TV on, the pain is still there. And it's not going away."

Nathan took a few more steps until he was standing next to her bed, and after a moment he took a seat on the edge of it.

"I'm tired of hurting, Nathan," Haley said, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm tired of feeling like nothing is going to be okay…like there's nothing I can do to fix me or the people around me."

"I'm so sorry, baby," Nathan whispered. He closed his eyes briefly and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together.

Haley stared at their joined hands. "What if she dies?" she asked, her voice cracking. "What if she dies and she never gets to see me graduate college or get married?"

Nathan leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers gently. "Hales, why aren't you at the hospital with your family?" he whispered.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "I just can't be there. My dad…my dad is freaking out, and I don't want me crying to make it worse for him. He doesn't need that. He's…he's about to lose his wife. The love of his life. I can't imagine how he must be feeling right now."

"Hales, you don't know that," Nathan replied. "You don't know that you're going to lose her. Anything could happen."

"Exactly," she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him. "Anything could happen." A moment later, she threw her arms around him and hugged his body close to her own.

Nathan hugged her back, burying his face in her neck and breathing in her scent. God, he had missed her.

Haley held onto him for several minutes before pulling back and raising a hand to caress his cheek. "Do you love me?" she whispered, watching his eyes as he answered.

"Yes," Nathan whispered back, his eyes never leaving hers. "God, baby…yes. So much."

She knew he meant it. It was clear to her now, but there were still so many unresolved issues between them. She just didn't know if it was too much to overcome. What she did know was that she needed to be honest with Nathan. Anything else would be unfair. She stroked his cheek and pressed her forehead against his. "I've missed you," she whispered. "So much that it hurts."

Nathan closed his eyes at her words. He felt like he'd been waiting to hear them for forever, and the warmth he felt overwhelm his body was staggering. "We don't have to do this right now, Hales. You've got a lot going on. I'll understand."

"I want to," she replied gently. "I'm…I'm sick of not having you in my life, Nathan. When we were together, I would wake up with a huge smile on my face every day. I was excited because I knew that no matter what happened, I would see you, and you would make me feel good. I don't do that anymore. And I miss that. I miss _you._"

He looked into her eyes and brought a hand up to softly stroke her cheek. "I miss you, too, Hales. More than you know."

"I'm sorry that I keep hurting you," she whispered. "The proposal, the day I found out about the bet, the…the rest of it. All of it. You didn't deserve any of it."

"You don't have anything to apologize for."

"Yes I do," she insisted. "Nathan, I…I made you think that I don't love you."

Nathan let out a light sigh and pulled his head away from hers. He didn't know where this was going, but he was afraid it was going to be just like the last few times they had spoken. He didn't want that. He didn't want to hurt again. He withdrew his hand from her face. "What is that supposed to mean?" he muttered.

Haley sat up straighter, taking one of his hands and encasing it in her own. Her other hand moved to rest on his knee as she looked at him intensely. "Nathan, I do love you. I do. And I'm…I'm so incredibly sorry that I couldn't say that to you before. I was scared. I was scared of getting hurt again, and I was scared of my feelings for you." She could tell he wasn't believing her, and she squeezed his knee. "Please forgive me," she continued in a whisper. "Nathan, I can't do any of it without you anymore. I don't want to."

"Hales, you…do you understand how hard it is for me to believe what you're telling me?" he muttered softly. "You said that we were over. You said that I was a bad guy. You said you hated me. All of that still hurts."

She bit her lip and nodded slowly. "I know, but I just…can't we just start over?" she practically begged. "I need you."

"Why?" he couldn't stop himself from asking. "Because this stuff with your mom is happening? Because you never really seemed to need me before that, Haley. In fact, I think you substituting Grant for me kind of proved that."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hales-"

Her sigh cut him off. "Nathan, I hung out with him a few times after we broke up. It wasn't a big deal. And I never…I was never into him, okay?"

Nathan let go of her hand and shook his head. "Haley, you defended him…over me. Do you…I mean, you get that, right?"

"I was pissed off," she answered. "I was just trying to deal with everything between us, and I just wasn't ready to do that yet. It's not like I chose him over you."

"Well you certainly didn't choose me," Nathan retorted, standing up from her bed and starting towards the door.

"Nathan, come on," Haley said, rising and following him. She grabbed his arm and felt his body tense under her touch. When he finally turned around, she took a step closer and looked up at him. "Please…I want you. You're the only one I want. It was never Grant, okay? He didn't mean anything to me. He _doesn't _mean anything to me."

Nathan ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Nothing happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," she told him. "I swear."

"This is all so screwed up, Haley," he replied, running a hand over his face.

"I know," she whispered with a small nod. "I know."

Nathan stared at the ground for a long time before taking a step forward and placing both his hands on her shoulders. "Do you trust me? Because, Haley, if you can't trust me enough to tell me the truth when things get difficult, what are we even doing?"

Haley placed her hands over his atop her shoulders and nodded her head. "I trust you," she said quietly. "And I'm sorry for making you doubt that. I don't want to lie to you…about any of it."

"So don't," he replied simply. "It's not hard to be honest with the person you love…not for me, at least."

"Nathan, please," Haley said again, squeezing his hands. "I know that we still have a lot to talk about. I know that, but please just say we can try again. I need that," she finished, blinking back tears.

Nathan removed his hands from her shoulders and cupped her face in his hands. "Haley, I could never say no to you. I could never deny my heart what it wants. But God, I just…I need to know that you'll be honest with me…always."

Haley nodded her head, resting her hands on his forearms. "I will," she assured him. "I promise, Nathan."

He nodded slowly and then, not being able to resist any longer, pressed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. He moved his lips over hers slowly before slipping his tongue into her mouth. His hands slid down to her waist, and he felt hers snaking around his neck.

Haley kissed him back hard, her tongue massaging his sensually. She brought her body forward until it was melding with the man in front of her and slowly pulled out of his kiss. She scattered a few kisses along his neck and collarbone before moving to his chest. She kissed his hard body through his t-shirt as her hands now gripped his biceps. Looking up at him after she'd pulled away, she managed to give him a small smile. "I love you," she whispered.

Nathan smiled and squeezed her waist gently, bending down to kiss her again. "I love you, too, baby."

She kissed him back, and when it was over she leaned her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso. "What am I going to do, Nathan? I can't lose her," she muttered, tears springing to her eyes again.

"You won't," he whispered into her hair, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. "You won't, baby."

She closed her eyes, praying that he was right. "Can we go now?" she asked quietly.

He nodded his head. "Sure. We can talk about everything else later. Come on." He let her go and then took her hand in his, leading her out into the hallway.

God, they had a lot to talk about. But right now, Haley needed him, and he was going to do everything in his power to be there for her. She deserved that and so much more from him.

* * *

Early morning arrived, and neither Haley nor Nathan had gotten a wink of sleep. After arriving at the hospital, they'd stayed with Haley's family all night long. Jimmy was a mess, but he wouldn't talk to anybody. Finally, a bit of good news was delivered regarding Lydia's condition, and Nathan was able to convince Haley to go home for a little while. He knew she wanted to stay, but it wasn't healthy for her to avoid sleep.

"Nathan, I'm fine," Haley said for about the fifth time as Nathan led her into her bedroom.

Nathan closed the door behind them and chuckled, setting his duffel bag down on the floor. "I know you are, babe, but if I stay on my feet for two more seconds I'm likely to faint. I am so tired."

She shrugged her shoulders and locked the door before finally nodding her head. "Me, too, I guess."

Both of them slipped their shoes off before climbing into Haley's bed. Nathan opened his arms for her, and she instantly pressed her body into his, her head resting on his chest and her arm draped over his stomach. "This is nice," she sighed.

"Yeah," he agreed. "How are you feeling though, really? Are you doing okay?"

Haley nodded, slowly bringing one of her legs up to tangle with Nathan's. "I'm okay. I'm just…I mean, I'm still scared. And I will be until she wakes up…if she wakes up."

"Hey," Nathan said, lifting her chin so she was looking at him. "She will." He kissed her softly.

"Thank you for being here for me," she whispered, resting her head on his chest once again. "It means…it means everything."

Nathan kissed the top of her head, running a hand up and down her back slowly.

Haley looked at his other hand, still in its cast, and furrowed her brow as she played with his fingers. "Shouldn't you have this off by now?"

"I will soon," he replied. "I'm actually going in tomorrow, so hopefully everything's healed. If not, they're just going to have to take it off anyways. I'm so sick of it."

"Yeah." Haley kissed each one of his fingers before setting his hand back down. "Can we talk instead of sleep?"

Nathan furrowed his brow but nodded. "Yeah, of course." He sat up a little against the headboard, and Haley did the same, moving her head from his chest so she could look at him.

Haley placed one of her hands in the middle of his chest and took a deep breath. "I don't…I don't know if this is a stupid question, but-"

"Hales," he interrupted her, placing a hand over hers. "No question of yours is stupid, okay?"

She nodded slowly and sat up more, turning to face him now. She crossed her legs in front of her and placed her hands in her lap. "I just…I can't help but wonder where we're going to go from here, you know? Like with…sex."

"Oh," Nathan replied, his voice squeaking a little. He hadn't really been expecting their first serious talk to be about sex, but obviously it was something that needed to be addressed. "Well, Hales, that's up to you. I mean, I definitely don't think we should do anything until we've resolved all of our issues. But what…what do you think?"

She shrugged her shoulders as her hands clasped together in her lap. "I don't know. I mean, what we did was beyond wrong. I know that it was, but I've realized so much since then." She reached out to take one of his hands in her own. "How much I love you, how much I need you, how much I can't live without you. And all of that only makes me want you more. But I know that the next time we're together, it won't be like that." She searched his eyes for confirmation.

"Definitely not," he said with a small nod. "And I don't want it to be. When we're together we're going to make love, and it's going to be amazing. And we'll be even closer than we are right now, but that can only happen when you're ready." He sighed softly. "You've got to start believing in what I'm telling you, Haley. When I say that I want you and when I say that you're sexy, those things are all true. And you have no reason to doubt that they are, okay?"

Haley nodded slowly. "I know," she whispered. "It's just hard sometimes. I mean, you're the first guy I've had these intense feelings for, and no one's ever called me those things before, Nathan. Even though it makes me feel amazing, I'm not used to it."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to train you in the fine art of taking a compliment," Nathan replied with a small smirk.

Despite the circumstances and her incredible lack of sleep, Haley let out a light laugh. It felt good.

"Seriously though," he continued. "I know that it's hard for you, and I completely understand why. But you've got to have some confidence in yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself, Haley. You deserve that more than anyone else that I know."

She nodded again and looked down at her hands. "Okay," she said softly. "I…I mean, I can't make any promises, but I'm going to try."

Nathan smiled softly and pulled his hand away from hers so he could caress her cheek, causing her to look up at him. "That's my girl."

Returning his smile, she leaned into his touch. "I like being your girl. I don't ever want to lose you again, Nathan. I just…if I ever push you away again, you have to call me on it. This world is too much without you by my side."

"I will," Nathan promised with a nod. "Come here." He opened his arms for her, and she immediately crawled into them, moving so that she was sitting on his lap. He encased her in his large arms and held her close to him. "I love you so much, baby. I love everything about you." He moved his hand slowly up and down her arm. "These arms." His hand moved to her face as he pointed out everything he loved about her. "This nose. These eyes. These beautiful, big, brown eyes. These…amazing lips." He ran his thumb over her bottom lip carefully.

Haley couldn't help but smile a little, and after a second she opened her mouth, bringing her tongue over his finger. She did the same thing with each digit before placing a long kiss in the center of his palm. "I love you, too," she whispered. "Everything about you." She lifted her head to look into his eyes and then slowly brought her face closer to his before kissing him softly.

Nathan kissed her back, gently pushing his tongue past her parted lips. He had missed this. Just sitting with her, talking to her, kissing her…he had missed it all. When Haley broke the kiss, he took the opportunity to attach his lips to her neck, immediately finding her weak spot. He felt her body tremble in his arms as he sucked on the skin there, biting it ever so softly.

"That feels so good," Haley whispered, her head moving to the side. Her hands buried themselves in his dark hair as she enjoyed the pleasure he continued to give to her.

He felt her move so that she was straddling him, and he placed his hands on her hips as he felt her mouth on the skin of his neck. He let out a small groan and allowed his eyes to close.

"Nathan," Haley whispered, resting her forehead against his.

"Yeah?" he muttered, opening his eyes.

"I want you to make love to me."

"Hales-"

She shook her head, continuing to whisper. "It's okay. I promise." She leaned forward and left a long but gentle kiss on his lips. "I'm ready."

He looked at her skeptically. "Hales, I know you're in a lot of pain right now, and-"

"Nathan," she interrupted him, her lips forming a small smile. "I appreciate it, but this has nothing to do with what's happened with my parents or anything else. Just me and you. I love you, and I'm ready to do this with you. I want to."

"You're sure?" he asked, double-checking.

She nodded.

"Positive?"

"Okay, your offer's about to expire, mister," she joked with a teasing smile.

Nathan smiled. "I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you're really ready. I don't want us to end up regretting this like last time."

Haley shook her head and cupped his face between her hands. "I could never regret making love to you, Nathan Scott. I know we've never done it before, but I know that already." She nuzzled her nose against his.

He nodded and gave her a small smile. "I feel the same way, Hales." Before he knew it her lips were on his, but the kiss was slow and passionate. It wasn't hurried like it had been that day in his dorm room. And somehow that made their want for each other even more apparent. He ran his hands up and down her sides slowly and kissed her back, letting his tongue tangle with hers. A moment later, he pulled back and looked at her questioningly again. "Hales, what if someone comes over here? What if-"

"I locked the door," she interrupted him. "Besides, no one is going to come." She left a long kiss on his cheek before whispering into his ear, "Except for me and you."

Nathan practically growled at her words, and in an instant he had her flipped onto her back as he hovered above her. He watched her smile up at him and returned the gesture before slowly dipping his head down to meet hers. They kissed for several minutes, both enjoying their slow pace. "God, I love you," he breathed as he buried his head in her neck. He placed a single soft kiss on her skin. "I thought I had lost you forever."

Haley placed a hand behind his head and raised his face to look at her. "Never," she whispered back before locking lips with him again. She let her hands run down his back until she reached the hem of his t-shirt, and pulling out of his kiss she swiftly lifted it over his head. For a moment, she let her eyes linger on his chest and arms as he floated above her. "You are so sexy," she told him with one eyebrow raised.

Nathan smirked, slowly letting his face relax into a contented smile. "We're good together, aren't we?"

She smiled and nodded. "We're amazing together." She kissed him before adding, "And we always will be."

He bent down to kiss her again, his hands finding the hem of his t-shirt she was still wearing. He pushed the blue material up slowly until his hands came in contact with the bare skin of her belly. Pushing her tank top up as well, his fingers ran over her smooth skin slowly until his left hand came in contact with her bra. The hand with the cast remained on the bed as he rested most of his weight on his forearm.

Letting out a small moan, Haley involuntarily arched her back, pushing her breast into his hand. "Baby," she whispered a moment later. "Take it off." She watched him meet her eyes and silently ask for permission, and she gave him a small nod as she bit her bottom lip.

Nathan nodded in reply and snaked his hand out from under the shirt, bringing his fingers up to trace the collar. He kept his eyes on hers as he trailed his fingers down through the valley between her breasts and over her belly button. "I love it when you wear my clothes," he said huskily before moving both his hands to the bottom of the material and pulling it over her head. Her tank top went with it, and the only thing left covering her upper body was a lacy black bra.

"I love wearing your clothes," she whispered into his ear before capturing the lobe between her teeth. She found herself grinding her hips into his, needing to feel some sort of friction, and for the first time that night she felt his want for her pressing against her.

Nathan let out a small groan at her actions and pushed his arousal even further into her. He had never felt so turned on in all his life. And God, he had done a lot in his lifetime. But being with Haley in such a slow, intimate way…finally hearing her say she loved him after weeks of silence…knowing that she wanted to make love to him, not just fuck him…he was so turned on. He felt such a deep, undeniable, emotional connection to Haley, and it was something he never wanted to let go of. Bringing a hand up to the front clasp of her bra, he undid it and then sat back on his knees.

Haley watched him carefully as his upper body moved away from her. She watched the muscles of his chest and arms contract and relax before bringing her eyes to his face. He was looking at her so intensely.

He gave her a small, genuine smile and slowly slid one of her bra straps down off of her shoulder before doing the same with the other one.

Arching her back off of the bed so she could remove it the rest of the way, Haley slid the straps down her arms and then tossed the item aside. Almost immediately she felt Nathan's body back on top of hers, and she kissed him hotly for several more minutes. "No one's ever looked at me the way that you do," she whispered against his lips as he rested his forehead against hers. "You…God, you make me feel amazing. About myself…and about us."

"Well, you deserve to feel amazing, Hales," he replied softly, brushing his lips against hers. "Every day…because you are."

Feeling tears begin to form, Haley closed her eyes and kissed him fervently. God…everything he said to her now, she instantly believed. He was making her feel things she'd never felt before, and although that wasn't exactly new territory in their relationship it was still amazing. "You know what?" she asked with a giggle after pulling away.

"What?" Nathan asked, a wide smile on his face. It felt amazing to hear her laugh again, even if her happiness was only temporary.

"I still get butterflies when you hold my hand," she admitted in a whisper, a light blush covering her cheeks. "I'm serious," she said after seeing him shake his head. "And…when you kiss me, my heart still races. And when I'm with you, nothing else matters."

"I know the feeling," he replied, a small smirk on his face. He kissed her lips and began speaking between kisses. "Definitely know the feeling."

She smiled against his lips when she felt him deepen his last kiss and arched her back when she felt him palm her breast. "Nathan," she moaned, her eyes remaining closed even as she felt his lips leave her.

Nathan smiled as he moved down her body. He loved the sounds she made, and the fact that he was probably about to hear some new ones had him even harder. Sure, they had…had sex…before, but this wasn't going to be anything like that. This was going to be special, it was going to be gentle, and it was going to be perfect. Leaving his left hand on her breast, he moved his mouth to the other one.

Haley's moan deepened as she felt his mouth surround her. She buried her hands in his hair and held him to her, both his mouth and his erection pressing into her thigh turning her on to no end.

Nathan paid equal attention to both breasts and then slowly began moving farther down her petite frame. He left a hot, wet kiss between her breasts and then trailed his lips down her stomach. His hands rubbed her sides as he moved, and his tongue snaked out to lick a path on either side of her belly button. Another hot kiss was placed just above the button of her jeans, and he looked up at her. "You okay?" he asked softly.

Opening her eyes just so she could look at him again, Haley nodded slowly. God, she did not have a lot of coherent thoughts floating around in her head at the time. She just wanted to feel him. She wanted to be with Nathan and finally experience this with him. It was time. "I'm perfect," she whispered, a small smile creeping onto her face.

Returning the gesture, Nathan sat back on his knees again. He moved his hands to the button on her jeans and undid it ever so slowly, doing the same with the zipper afterwards. He moved his body to the side of hers and lifted both her legs so that her knees were bent and her feet were lying flat on the bed. "You're beautiful," he told her, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops of her jeans. He tugged on the material gently and watched as she lifted her hips so he could push them past her bottom. Once that was done, he straightened one of her legs and placed it in his lap, leisurely pulling on the jean leg until that half of her body was free. He placed her leg back down, bent at the knee again, and proceeded to do the exact same thing with the other leg.

Haley never took her eyes off of him. Seeing how much he loved her and how careful and sensitive he was being with her…it literally took her breath away sometimes. She couldn't believe how much she had allowed herself to hurt the man in front of her. He didn't deserve any of it. "You're an amazing guy," she said suddenly, watching him move so he was in front of her bent knees. "I just…you should know that, Nathan. You're an amazing guy, and you deserve amazing things."

Smiling, Nathan placed his left hand on her foot and ran it slowly up and down her calf, massaging all the muscles in her leg. He did the same with her thigh before straightening that leg out and repeating his ministrations with her other leg. Then, finally, he leaned forward and covered her body with his again.

Haley caressed his cheek with one hand and gave him a soft smile before kissing him gently. As she felt his tongue enter her mouth, she moved both her hands down his chest until she reached his belt buckle and she quickly undid it, tossing the leather strip aside. Not being able to resist the temptation, she moved one hand a bit lower and cupped him through his jeans, feeling his member twitch in anticipation of what was to come. Looking up at him, she smirked, but he didn't see it.

Nathan's eyes were shut tight and he was biting his lower lip. However, a low groan was still resonating from his throat, and it deepened when he felt her hand stroke him through his pants. "Hales," he murmured, burying his face in her shoulder.

"Yeah?" she whispered, a small smile tugging at her lips. She loved that she could make him feel so good. This was really the first time this had ever happened, and she was honestly fascinated by the entire situation. Seeing his eyes shut, feeling his want for her in her hand, and knowing that she could practically render him speechless…those were some pretty heady things.

"Baby," he grunted again, moving his hips against her hand involuntarily. "Please."

Scattering a few wet kisses along his neck, Haley withdrew her hand and then popped open the button of his jeans a second later. Next was the zipper. Then she pushed his jeans down, using her legs to get them all the way down his body before he kicked them away. She was just as eager as he was, and she'd be lying if she said otherwise.

Nathan let out another moan, but it was soon overshadowed by Haley's as he returned his attention to her breasts. His mouth was on one, his hand on the other.

"God," Haley moaned loudly, throwing her head back against the pillow as her hands got lost in his hair again. He had touched her like this before, that day in his dorm room. But she hadn't really had the time to appreciate it. Everything had been so hard and fast and definitely…not like it was now. Sensations were bubbling up inside of her that she couldn't even recognize much less explain, and she couldn't wait to feel him inside of her, making love to her for the very first time.

Another moment or two passed before Nathan brought his lips back to hers and kissed her hard. "You taste so good," he whispered against her lips a second later. "I love you, Haley."

"I love you, too," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Her hands moved down his biceps and forearms before moving to his stomach. She caressed his abs for a few hot seconds before finally making it to the waistband of his black boxers. "I can't wait to see you."

Nathan couldn't help but smirk a little, but it was quickly replaced with a warm smile. He leaned down to kiss her again. Although normally he would have been confused, he wasn't. He knew that their last coupling had been fast and hard, and she probably hadn't taken the time to look and actually register what was happening. This was a big moment for her…for both of them. "Whenever you're ready," he whispered, placing a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose.

Haley gave him a shy smile and finally pushed his boxers down, again using her legs to aid in their banishment. Her eyes roved down his fantastic body, from his broad shoulders to his toned abs. And then her brown orbs finally met their destination.

Nathan watched her face carefully, and after a moment or two when she was still staring at him, he chuckled. "Hales?"

Her eyes snapped up to look at his face, and instantly a deep blush spread over her cheeks. "Um, I'm…uh, sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't mean to…sorry." Truthfully seeing him in all his glory and really noticing him for the first time had her feeling incredibly hot. Now she was just embarrassed that he had caught her ogling him.

He shook his head and kissed her lips softly. "Hales, you have every right. You're my girl." He presented her with a wide smile, which she gratefully returned.

"Why are you so sweet to me?" she teased quietly, her blush slowly fading.

"Because you deserve it," he said seriously, his eyes never leaving hers.

Haley brought a hand up to swipe at her eyes. "Stop it," she said with a light laugh. "You're going to make me cry."

Nathan chuckled and closed his eyes, leaving a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Well, that is _definitely _not what I want right now," he muttered sarcastically.

She swatted at his arm and laughed again.

"Hales, all this laughing isn't really doing much for my ego," Nathan stated with a wide pout.

"Oh, I am definitely not…laughing at that," she replied with a giggle. "Trust me, honey…there is nothing funny about that. Only sexy." She winked at him.

He smirked, running a hand down her shoulder and then along the underside of her breast. "Now that's what I like to hear."

Trembling at his gentle touch, Haley's eyes fluttered closed. "Nathan, I need you," she whispered.

"Suddenly not so funny, huh?" he whispered against her ear, leaving a wet kiss just below it. He didn't hear her form a coherent reply, but he knew it was time. His throbbing need for her was becoming painful, and he needed to be inside of her. Moving a little faster than they had been for the majority of the evening, he hooked his thumbs in her panties and pulled them down her legs, still watching her face. Once he had slipped them over her feet, he tossed them over his shoulder and returned to his previous position.

Haley found it nearly impossible to open her eyes, especially when she felt Nathan's hard member pulsating against her thigh. The pleasures and sensations coursing through her veins were simply incredible. Lifting her knees, she wrapped her legs around his waist so she could feel more of him. Their naked chests pressing together weren't doing much to quell her anticipation either. "Nathan," she whispered, her voice pleading.

"I know, baby," he muttered before pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was slow, and so were the movements of his lower body as he entered her. Unlike the last time, he eased into her inch by inch, and God it felt amazing.

Similar thoughts were running through Haley's mind as her hands pressed against his shoulder blades and her legs tightened around his waist.

Once he was all the way inside of her, Nathan lay still as he placed soft kisses all over his lover's neck. "You feel so good," he whispered, his hot breath fanning out over her skin. "So perfect."

Her eyes still squeezed shut, she nodded. "So do you," she managed to reply through the pleasurable haziness that was clouding her mind.

"Are you ready for me to move, baby?" he asked softly, pulling back to look her. Her eyes were still closed, but she nodded. "Open your eyes, Hales. I want to see you."

She complied and then watched him smile down at her before rubbing his nose against hers cutely.

Nathan kissed her again as he pulled out of her tight clutch slowly and then pushed back in just as slowly. He continued for a few strokes before beginning to pick up the pace a little, feeling Haley's hips rising to meet his.

"Oh, my God," Haley whispered, her back arching again as she allowed her eyes to close.

"Eyes open, baby," Nathan reminded her huskily as he continued to move in and out of her.

She obeyed again and found that if she kept her eyes trained on Nathan's beautiful blue orbs, it was easier to keep them open. "Nothing has ever felt this amazing, Nathan," she whispered as he rested his forehead against hers. She felt her breathing start to pick up, and she started moving her hips faster, causing Nathan to do the same.

"I know," he replied, kissing her once and then repeating the action. When he felt her start to suck on his neck while simultaneously tightening her legs around him, he groaned. "Fuck, Hales."

Haley bit his neck hard as she felt him suddenly pick up the pace again. "Nathan," she moaned, throwing her head back again. "I can't…I'm not…"

"I know, baby," he whispered into her hair. He knew it wouldn't be long for her because he felt the same way. Moving his head down, he took one of her breasts in his mouth, his lower body never slowing down.

Haley continued to move with him, but a moment later she suddenly climaxed, arching her back and screaming his name. There was nothing she could do to keep her eyes from closing as she saw fireworks and rode out the waves of her orgasm.

God, he had never heard anything so perfect. Nathan pounded into her three more times before slipping over the edge with her and groaning her name over and over again as he collapsed on top of her, giving her everything he had.

They lay there for several minutes, Nathan still inside of her and Haley holding on to him tightly. Once their breathing began to even out a bit, Nathan sighed into her hair and pulled back to look at her. "Are you okay?" he asked, the worry evident in his eyes.

Haley gave him a large, reassuring smile and nodded. "I am so much better than okay, Nathan," she said. "I feel…that was amazing."

"It was," he agreed, giving her a small nod. He smiled and kissed her softly.

Caressing his cheek, she smiled again. "It was more than I ever thought it could be," she whispered as a few tears welled up in her eyes. "Thank you, Nathan. I love you so much." She kissed him again.

"I love you, baby," he replied quickly before returning her kiss.

A few minutes passed, and Haley finally broke the kiss. "You know what though?"

"What?"

"I am really, really, really tired," she admitted, letting out an exhausted laugh.

Nathan watched her stifle a yawn and laughed, rolling off of her reluctantly. "Get some sleep."

"You're not…you're not leaving, are you?" she asked, sitting up a little.

Nathan looked back and gave her a small smile. "Definitely not, Hales." He reached down to the end of the bed and pulled her sheet up so it covered them both. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his body. "Never."


	12. Chapter 12

She watched her hand rise and fall rhythmically as it lay on top of his naked chest and couldn't keep the smile off of her face. Her head was resting in her hand as she lay on her side, propped up by an elbow. He was so beautiful, so perfect, and so genuine. And Haley was sure she couldn't love him more if she tried. He was the guy for her, and if she didn't know it before last night had certainly convinced her. The way that he made love to her, the way that he watched her…there was no denying what they had, and she knew that now. The smile slowly disappeared from her face as she thought about how much pain her words must have caused him over the past few weeks. Telling him that he was a bad guy, that their relationship didn't mean anything, that she hated him…those had all been defense mechanisms. She hadn't wanted him to know how she really felt because, in all honesty, it scared her. Now she knew that she should have never been anything but honest with Nathan. She had treated him unfairly, and she felt guilty as hell about it. But as she ran a finger down his chest slowly and watched him stir, she allowed the easy smile to return. The last thing she wanted to do now was dwell on the past. She loved Nathan, and she wanted to move forward with him.

Being with him really had been amazing. Not only had she never felt any pleasure like that before in her life, she could also feel Nathan's love for her simply pouring out. It was definitely not a mistake, and even in the light of the day she knew that making love to Nathan had been the right choice. She would never regret that.

After falling asleep at nearly six in the morning, Haley had only gotten a few hours of sleep before she woke up, the sun coming in through her window nearly blinding her. When she'd woken, she'd found Nathan wide awake just looking at her. She had smiled at him, he had returned it, and they had made love a second time. If at all possible, it had been even better than the first. Afterwards they'd fallen asleep again, both still exhausted from their sleepless night.

Turning her head, Haley glanced at the small alarm clock resting on her nightstand. It was almost two, and she was getting a little anxious. No one had called her from the hospital, and they had said they would call if they heard anything, good or bad. When she turned back around, her eyes met Nathan's drowsy blue ones, and she couldn't help but return his lazy smile. "Hey, sleepyhead," she greeted him, smirking slightly.

Nathan's smile widened as he reached a hand out to caress her cheek. "God, you're a good thing to wake up to."

Haley let out a small laugh and shook her head. "I could say the same for you."

He watched her for another few seconds before leaning up to capture her lips in a long, slow kiss. Once he'd pulled away, he continued to gaze at her. "Do you want to go to the hospital?" he asked knowingly.

She nodded her head slowly and bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Nathan. I know we just got back together, and we're supposed to be all blissed out, but I'm scared."

"Hey, don't you dare apologize," he replied, leaving another kiss on her forehead. "We face things together, right?"

With a small smile, Haley nodded and sighed contentedly. "Yes." She leaned forward and kissed him, this time deepening it with her tongue.

Nathan kissed her back just as hotly, his tongue tangling with hers, as he rolled on top of her. God, he just couldn't get enough of her. He was so completely satisfied by her, yet his thirst seemed unquenchable somehow.

Haley smiled against his lips as she ran one of her legs up and down his calf muscles. She moved her lips to his neck and began sucking on a patch of skin there until she felt him suddenly pull away from her. Furrowing her brow, she watched him roll off of her, his eyes gluing themselves to the ceiling. "Nathan, what is it?" she asked, a little shocked.

His eyes stayed on the ceiling, but after a moment he closed them, bringing his left hand up to rub his forehead. "Damn it," he cursed.

"Nathan, you're kind of freaking me out here," Haley said with a nervous laugh. "What's wrong?"

Letting out a heavy sigh, he opened his eyes and turned his head to face her. "Condoms."

"Excuse me?" she asked, another small laugh escaping her throat.

"Condoms, Haley," he said a bit louder.

She furrowed her brow. "Yes, I heard what you said, Nathan. I'm just not sure why you said it."

His eyes widened as he looked at her. "Condoms," he squeaked out once again.

"I'm going to need a little bit more than 'condoms,' Nathan," she muttered, sitting up a little in the bed. "I can't really decipher that code."

"Condoms," he repeated again. "As in…we've had sex three times, and not once did we use a fucking condom, Haley. What the hell were we thinking?"

"You need to calm down," she told him quietly.

He sat up as well. "How are you not freaking out, Hales? I mean, I'm not…I'm not saying anything bad, but we're still in college. It's too soon."

Haley shook her head and moved to the edge of the bed. "I'm not pregnant, Nathan."

"We just made love last night. How do you know?"

Biting her lip, Haley shook her head again as she fought her tears. She absolutely hated talking about this. She knew she needed to be honest with Nathan, but that didn't mean the words wouldn't be difficult for her to say. They always were. "I just do," she whispered, closing her eyes.

He furrowed his brow, scooting a little closer to her so that he had closed the gap she had just created. "Are you on the pill or something?" he asked after a second. He shook his head. "We still should have been protected. You can never be too careful."

"I'm not on the pill," she answered with another small shake of her head. She looked up at him finally, but not being able to hold eye contact she closed her eyes. "But I'm not going to get pregnant, Nathan."

"Haley, what…what are you talking about?" he asked slowly. He could see the tears in her eyes, and admittedly it was freaking him out a bit.

Haley leaned her head against the headboard and kept her eyes closed. "Do you remember what happened to my baby?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he answered hesitantly, not missing the flash of pain that crossed her features at the mention of her child.

"Do you remember why it happened?" she asked next, just as quietly.

Nathan thought back to the night she had shared her past with him. It had been several weeks ago, but he still remembered it like it was yesterday. It had been such a breakthrough moment in their relationship; how could he forget? "You…they said you weren't strong enough."

Haley nodded slowly, still not opening her eyes. "Yeah, well…that's still true," she whispered.

"Haley, what the hell are you talking about?" he asked. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying…I'm saying you don't have to worry about me getting pregnant," she muttered painfully. "It's not going to happen. It…can't happen."

"Hales, I don't understand," he said quietly. "You got pregnant before."

Finally opening her eyes, Haley let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, well apparently that was just some sort of sick joke God was playing on me that day." She shook her head. "They said it was a miracle that I was even able to get pregnant at all, let alone sustain the child for fourteen weeks. But they also…they also said that I would never be pregnant again."

"Oh, my God," Nathan mumbled, immediately moving his body directly next to hers. He pulled her into his arms as he felt her shoulders begin to shake. "Baby, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me this before now?"

Sniffling, she shrugged her shoulders. "It's not really first date material," she mumbled. "'Hey, it's good to see you. Sure, I'd love to go out with you. But, just so you know, I hope you're never planning on having children because P.S. you won't be getting them from me.'"

"Haley," he said softly, lifting her face so she would look at him. "I love you. This doesn't change that."

She wiped at her eyes until she was able to stop the tears from coming altogether. "Do you want kids?" she whispered.

"What?"

"You heard me. Do you want kids someday? We've never…I mean, we've never really discussed it."

Nathan took a deep breath. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel badly about herself, but he was going to be honest with her because after all, that's what he'd been preaching to her the night before. Honesty was the best policy. "Honestly…before I met you, I never even thought about having children of my own. But with you…with you, I want that." He paused. "So yes, I guess I do want kids."

"Isn't that ironic?" she mumbled.

He looked at her sadly and then returned the question. "What about you?"

Looking down at her hands which were now in her lap, Haley nodded. "Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to have a big family…like mine but different. One that would be my own, one that I could create with someone else…just start with nothing and build it all up from the ground, you know? And I don't…I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I do want to have kids with you someday. And I think it's hitting me hardest right now because when I look at you, I know that we'll never have that. I'll never get to be a mom. _You'll _never get to be a dad." She wiped at her eyes again and shook her head. "I'm sorry I'm being such a baby about all of this, but I just…I can't help it. I want that with you." Pulling out of his gentle embrace, she caressed his cheek with one hand, letting the other one rest on his chest. "I want to have a son with these beautiful blue eyes and your smile. I want to have a daughter that you can spoil. But I…we're never going to have that, Nathan." She pulled her hand away from his face. "I'm sorry."

He watched her as she started to move out from under the bed sheet and leave, and he instantly snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her back to him. "Haley, listen to me, okay?" he said quietly.

She nodded.

"I want all of that, too," he started softly, keeping his eyes on hers. "I do. I want it all with you, but it's okay, baby. It doesn't matter, okay? I don't need kids to make me happy. I just need you." He saw her start to tear up again and gently brought his hand to her face, wiping the remaining tear tracks away. "Hey, we'll figure something out. When the day comes and the time is right, we'll have all of that, Haley."

"No we won't, Nathan," she mumbled, shaking her head again.

"Yes we will," he responded with a nod. "Come on, baby. We can adopt or…something else. I don't know right now, but we'll have a family, Haley James."

She closed her eyes briefly, resting her head against the headboard. "Okay," she whispered after moments of silence.

He watched her closely, trying to gauge her every feeling using only the pained look on her face. "Hales, look at me," he commanded softly.

She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him, not saying anything.

Nathan leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers softly. It was a long kiss, though, and when he finally pulled away he rested his forehead against hers. "I love you," he whispered. "And I promise you, we will have a family one day. Trust me, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered again, nodding this time. She still wasn't really sure how much she believed Nathan. She wanted to, more than anything, but it was hard. She'd found out two years ago that she would never be pregnant again, and it had been heartbreaking. She'd thought she'd gotten over it, but clearly that wasn't the case. Being with Nathan brought up those old wounds because he was the only person she'd ever even considered having a real family with. The fact that he wanted to have babies with her just made it worse. She couldn't give him the things that he wanted, and she actually felt guilty about it. Now wasn't the time to bring it up though. She and Nathan had only just gotten back together, and unnecessary drama would only deteriorate their relationship. They had time.

"You look like you want to say something else, Hales," Nathan said. He saw all the conflicting emotions on her face, and it was obvious she wasn't telling him everything she felt. It was a common problem for her, but after their talk the previous night he had been under the impression that things were going to change for them.

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. I'm fine. I just…need to take a shower."

He looked at her skeptically for a few seconds before finally giving in and nodding. Whether she was telling him everything or not, today and every day until her mother woke up was going to be difficult for Haley. He knew that, and he needed to be there for her. The baby stuff could wait. "Alright," he relented.

Haley managed to give him a small smile. So many parts of her life seemed to be spiraling out of control, but being with Nathan in the silence of it all just made everything better. She caressed his cheek lightly and leaned in, placing a single kiss on his lips. "You want to come with me?" she whispered after pulling away.

"To the shower?" he asked with a light chuckle.

"To the shower," she said with a nod and a small smirk.

Nathan could already feel himself hardening at the thought of showering with Haley. God, her body was amazing. "Well, showers are kind of our thing," he replied with a wide smirk.

A light laugh escaped Haley's throat. She stood up from the bed, taking the sheet with her. "Let's go, big boy." She gave him a wink before turning around to walk to the bathroom.

"Big boy, huh?" he called after her before springing up from the bed to follow.

Haley dropped the sheet and turned the water on, immediately stepping under the spray once it was warm enough. "Yeah," she said with another smirk.

Nathan wasted no time as he followed her into the shower and stepped under the spray, moving his body close to hers. He allowed his eyes to rove up and down her body, watching the hot water droplets easing their way across her skin. "Damn, baby," he mumbled, finally meeting her eyes.

Moving closer to him, Haley placed both her hands on his chest before running them down slowly. They rested on his abs for a few seconds before one hand snaked down and wrapped around his hardened member.

Nathan sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes. She had never touched him like that before. Sure, last night she had grabbed him through his pants, but this was different. Feeling her small, delicate hand on his naked hardness was completely amazing. When he felt her begin to stroke him slowly, he brought his hand up to rest against the shower wall behind her head.

"Feel good?" Haley whispered into his ear, capturing the lobe between her teeth. Her free hand moved from his back to his ass, squeezing gently as her other hand continued to stroke him. After a few more seconds, she increased her pace and smiled at Nathan's reaction.

A low groan escaped Nathan's throat, and his knuckles whitened against the shower wall. "Fuck, yes," he muttered into her hair. "Keep going, baby. Don't stop."

"Didn't plan on it," she replied in a whisper, running a finger over the tip of his hardness.

She continued to work him over for several seconds before slowly pulling her hand away from his lower body. Nathan's eyes immediately opened, and he looked at her confusedly. "What's wrong? Why'd you stop?" he muttered breathlessly.

Haley smirked widely at him, maintaining eye contact as she slowly lowered herself until she was on her knees. She saw the shock written all over his face but didn't stop, instead gripping onto his thighs with her hands.

When Nathan felt her lips on him, he let out a long moan and buried his left hand in her hair, his casted wrist reluctantly staying by his side. "Jesus, Hales," he breathed. This was definitely new. He was pretty sure she'd never done this before, and given that they had only just made love for the first time the night before he hadn't really been expecting a blowjob so soon. But he certainly wasn't complaining; he liked it when Haley took initiative.

Haley let out a moan as well as she took as much of him into her mouth as she could. This was all very new to her, and she was enjoying Nathan so much.

Feeling the vibrations from her moan against his member, Nathan let out another deep groan. He felt her begin to slide her tongue against him and muttered a fierce expletive when he felt her teeth teasing his tip. "Baby, I'm not going to last long," he muttered quietly, still running his hand through her blonde locks.

She glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow, and pulled her head away before taking him in her mouth again. She repeated her earlier actions, this time moving faster and using her teeth a bit more. Her hands moved up and down the insides of his thighs as she continued to bring him closer to climax.

"Baby," Nathan repeated. "Baby, I'm…I'm about…I'm about to…" He couldn't even complete his already hazy thoughts before he exploded into her mouth, his eyes squeezing shut and her name falling from his lips repeatedly. After a moment, he opened his eyes to look at her. Her mouth was still on him as she licked him clean and then swallowed.

Once she was done, Haley slowly rose back to her feet. She blushed when she saw him smirk at her. "What?" she asked, running a finger over her bottom lip.

His smirk only widened as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Do you have any idea how sexy that was?" he whispered before attaching his lips to hers.

Haley kissed him back fervently, and when she felt his left hand move from her stomach down to the place where she wanted him to touch the most, she let out a squeal that quickly turned into a moan.

Nathan smirked. "I've got to return the favor somehow, Hales."

* * *

"Bri, what's wrong?" Haley rushed through the waiting room to her brother, whose eyes were downcast. One of his hands was shoved deep inside his pocket, and the other was holding onto his wife's.

Lifting his head when he heard his sister's voice, Brian pulled his hand out of his pocket and wiped at his teary eyes. "Mom…Mom just flatlined," he said quietly.

Nathan immediately reached for Haley's hand at those words, and he squeezed it gently.

"What does that mean?" Haley asked quickly, her heart rate picking up intensely.

Brian shook his head. "They've got her stabilized now, but it's not looking good, Hales."

Suddenly all the bliss she and Nathan had shared the evening before and that day just disappeared. It was all pushed to the back of her mind, and the only things Haley could think about were how her mom was doing and how her dad was taking it all. They were both such good people, and neither one deserved to lose the one they loved. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. "Where's…where's Dad?" Haley asked, glancing around the waiting room. She saw two of her sisters sitting down across the room, one with her husband and the other alone. She didn't see her father anywhere.

"He's in the chapel," Brian answered. "Just give him some time, Hales. I think he really wants to be alone."

Haley nodded reluctantly. She really wanted to go check on her dad. Even though he always said he wanted to be alone, she knew better. She knew because she was the same way when she was feeling depressed or worried. It had been that way two years ago, especially after she'd found out that she'd lost her baby. No one could get through to her. Eventually she had learned to bury it, and she didn't want her dad to do the same. She knew it wasn't a healthy thing to do.

Brian and his wife went to sit down, still holding each other's hands. The last thing on Haley's mind was introducing Nathan to the rest of her family. Now that they were back at the hospital, the bad things seemed to all flow to the forefront of her mind. Turning into Nathan's body, she buried her head in his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso. The tears that came to her eyes were unstoppable, and she didn't even care. The rest of her siblings were crying as well. She figured she was allowed to cry in circumstances such as these.

Nathan closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, doing his best to comfort her. He knew no words would make it better, but he wanted to try. "Hales, it's okay," he whispered into her hair. "It's all going to be okay. I promise."

She pulled out of his embrace and shook her head, looking him in the eye. "You can't make promises like that, Nathan. You don't know what's going to happen."

"You're right; I don't," he responded. "But no matter what happens, you're going to be okay, baby. I'll take care of you." He placed a kiss on the top of her head.

She closed her eyes briefly and then took a deep breath. "Will you take a walk with me?" she asked a moment later. "I really hate being cooped up in this room."

"Of course," he replied immediately, taking her hand in his again. "Let's go."

They told Haley's siblings where they were going and that they'd be back shortly before heading outside. Haley led them around the block until they reached a small bench on the sidewalk, and she sat down, pulling Nathan with her. She let go of his hand so she could swipe at the tears still escaping her eyes. God, she wished she could stop crying. She felt like such a baby.

Nathan put his left hand on her thigh and rubbed up and down slowly.

Silence ensued for a few minutes before Haley spoke, glancing over at his other wrist. "Aren't you supposed to get that off today?" she questioned quietly.

He sighed quietly and nodded. "I was actually supposed to go in like three hours ago. It's okay though. Don't worry about it."

"Nathan," Haley whispered, shaking her head. "And what about basketball? I know you had practice today."

Nathan shook his head before placing a lingering kiss on her temple. "My girlfriend needs me right now. And Hales, there is no place I'd rather be. I promise."

"I know, but you can't risk missing anything more, Nathan. Not for me. You're already out for the next two weeks, too."

He placed his index finger over her lips to quiet her, giving her a small, reassuring smile. "It'll be okay, baby. My future's secure. Don't worry about it. You've got enough on your plate right now."

She nodded slowly before whispering, "Okay. Thank you for being here, by the way."

He nodded and leaned down to kiss her lips, smiling when she instantly responded.

"And just…so you know…I definitely don't regret what we did last night," Haley said after pulling away. The last thing she wanted was for Nathan to doubt that she was happy with their lovemaking. "And I never could. It was perfect. You were perfect." She caressed his cheek lightly.

Nathan gave her a small smile and nodded his head, squeezing the thigh he was still holding onto. "So were you," he said honestly. "I couldn't have asked for anything better. I mean that, Haley."

She managed a small smile and nodded. "I don't regret the shower either," she mumbled, a light blush covering her cheeks.

"Oh, neither do I. That was hot as hell." He smirked.

"You know, I'd never done anything like that before," she whispered, her blush deepening.

"You'd never know it," he responded.

Her blush deepened even more, if at all possible, and she buried her head in his shoulder. She heard Nathan chuckle, and after a moment she pulled away. "This is what I love about us."

"What?"

She looked up, her brown orbs meeting his blue ones. "Even with all the bad shit that's going on right now, you still have the ability to make me smile and make me feel like at least one thing in my life is going to be okay."

"Haley James, did you just say shit?" Nathan asked, pretending to be appalled.

Rolling her eyes, she smacked his chest playfully. "Like you've never heard me curse before…I'm being serious though. You're the only person who does that for me." She leaned up and left a gentle kiss on his lips. "I don't want that to ever go away, Nathan. I don't want our love to ever fade."

"It won't," he said with a shake of his head. "If there's one thing I'm sure of in this life, it's that my love for you will never waver. You're everything to me."

She smiled and pulled his hand away from her thigh, lacing her fingers together with his. "I love you, too, babe," she whispered, leaning up to kiss him again.

They sat there for almost an hour, and for the most part they were silent. They stayed wrapped up in each other's arms and watched the cars go by, both listening to the sounds of the world around them. Every once in a while, they'd steal glances at each other or give one another gentle kisses. It was comforting, especially for Haley, and she finally decided she was ready to go back to the hospital. Her siblings and her father needed her, not to mention her mom. What kind of a daughter was she to keep running away from their situation? She needed to face it and be strong for them. It was the only choice.

So they headed back, linking arms as they walked back to the hospital. It was chilly out, so Haley wore Nathan's coat, even though she was sure it left him freezing. He assured her it was fine, and once they were back inside the building she gave it back to him. When they finally made their way to the waiting room, only Brian and his wife were left, along with Haley's dad. He refused to sit down, only standing with his arms folded across his chest. There were tear tracks on his face, and it broke Haley's heart to see him like that. Her father never cried; he had always been a manly man. She knew if her mother didn't make it, her father would perish as well. He couldn't live without her, just like she couldn't live without Nathan.

"Daddy," Haley said, letting go of Nathan's hand as she approached her father.

Jimmy turned around and hugged his daughter. She hadn't been at the hospital much, and he had missed seeing her. Even when his kids were little, he and Haley had always been close. So had Haley and Lydia. With seven children who were so close in age running around, it had been difficult to keep up personal time with each one, but the James family had managed.

Their hug lasted long minutes, and after pulling away Jimmy noticed Nathan standing a few feet behind his daughter. He gave him a nod and then turned around, walking back to the window so he could look out at the sky. He had, of course, been skeptical when first meeting Nathan. But even though this was only the third time he was seeing his daughter's boyfriend, he knew he could trust him. Nathan being there for his daughter when his own overwhelming emotions wouldn't allow him to be meant everything to Jimmy. He hadn't seen Haley happy in a long time, but he knew that she was now. Even with all the sadness surrounding them, he could tell. She was happy.

Haley watched her father for a few moments before turning around to face Nathan again. She watched him give her a small smile and take her hand before they both sat down. Nathan sat back in his chair and got as comfortable as possible as Haley rested her head on his shoulder. Soon she was fast asleep, and he watched her for a while before doing the same thing.

* * *

"Hello?" Nathan mumbled into his phone as he stepped into the hallway that was connected to the waiting room. He glanced back through the glass window and saw Haley slumped down in a chair. She was still asleep, and her father was in the chapel again.

"Nathan, where the hell are you? Brooke and I are both freaking out," Lucas said into the receiver. "What's up with Haley? Is she okay?"

Nathan sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Yeah, she's…she's fine. I mean, she's pretty shaken up, but she's dealing. Her mom's getting worse though, man. I don't know what I'm going to do if something happens. I keep telling her everything's going to be okay, but what the hell do I know?"

"Nate, just keep doing what you're doing," Lucas responded. "All you can do is be there for her. Did you guys work things out?"

"Yeah, we did. Things between us are actually pretty amazing right now. We've just got to get past this stuff with her family. How'd practice go? Did you talk to Coach?" He heard his brother sigh on the other end.

"I did, Nate, but he wasn't happy. Plus, you were supposed to get your cast off today." He paused. "I mean, he was pretty pissed off. But he didn't say much. I'm not really sure what that means for you, but he said that you need to see him in his office as soon as you get back."

"Damn it," Nathan mumbled, running his hand over his face. "That doesn't sound good, Luke." He heard the door leading to the hallway slide open and looked up to see Haley smiling at him. "Hey, I've got to go. I'll call you later tonight, alright?"

"Okay, talk to you then."

"Bye," Nathan responded before flipping his cell phone shut and pushing it into his pocket. "Hey," he said to Haley, returning her smile.

Haley smiled wider at him and wound her arms around his neck, pushing her lips onto his passionately.

"Whoa, what was that for?" Nathan said after pulling away. He rested his hands on her hips, throwing her a questioning glance.

Haley bit her lip in excitement, continuing to smile at her boyfriend. "My mom's awake."


	13. Chapter 13

**So my updates have clearly been sporadic lately, and I apologize. Everyone's cramming stuff in before spring break begins, which is the end of this week. I appreciate all of your reviews so much, and some of these recent ones left me feeling so inspired! So thank you. I've still been trying to figure out where I want to go with some things, but I'm finally making some decisions. This chapter's got some sexual stuff, but in my personal opinion it's not that bad. It's no worse than what's been in the previous chapters. However, if you think it is just go ahead and skip it. It won't hurt. By the way, don't ever feel bad about leaving me long reviews, lol. They're usually my favorites! I feel like I'm forgetting something, but anyways...I hope you like this chapter! Tomorrow will be incredibly busy, but Thursday or Friday should be good for an update. Then I'll have way more free time since my poor ass can't afford to go anywhere for spring break. Enjoy & review! **

* * *

Haley held onto her mother's hand and returned the smile she was receiving. It had been almost twenty-four hours since she'd been informed that her mom was awake. And almost all of her father's time had been spent in her room with her. Haley's siblings had all taken turns, and for the most part Lydia was asleep during their visits. Now, though, she was awake and claimed to be feeling much better than the previous night. Haley felt so much lighter knowing that her mom was okay…that she was going to be okay. They'd finally gotten Jimmy to start eating and sleeping again, too. He was napping in a chair in the corner of the room as Haley sat with her mom.

"I love you, Mom," Haley whispered, bringing her mother's hand up to kiss it. She was still crying, but they were mostly tears of stress and relief.

Lydia gave her daughter another weak smile and lifted her hand to brush Haley's bangs out of her eyes. "I love you, too, Haley."

"I thought I was going to lose you," Haley continued, closing her eyes. "I was so scared."

"Oh, honey…it takes a lot more than a drunk driver to bring Lydia James down. You should know that by now."

Haley laughed and shook her head. "You're crazy, Mom. Seriously, though, how are you feeling?"

Lydia closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. "Better now, baby. I'm going to be just fine. You need to get back to school though. You must be missing a ton of classes."

"It doesn't matter," Haley replied. "I'm not leaving until you're out of here. I have to make sure you're safe."

"Sweetie, your daddy is doing a fine job of that," Lydia replied, opening her eyes again. "School is important."

"Not as important as you."

Lydia was quiet for a few seconds before she smiled again. "So Nathan came, huh?" She watched her daughter blush, and her smile widened. "How's that going?"

Haley smiled as soon as she heard Nathan's name. "It's…amazing, Mom. I love him so much. And everything with him is so real and raw and…just amazing."

"Love?" Lydia questioned, both her eyebrows rising. "My baby girl…I never thought I'd see the day."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Yeah, neither did I. He's so amazing though." She paused and averted her eyes for a moment before continuing in a whisper. "He…he asked me to marry him."

Lydia nodded slowly. "When did he do it?"

Shrugging, Haley replied, "A little over a month ago."

"Why'd you say no?" her mother asked, glancing down at her daughter's naked left ring finger.

Haley took a deep breath. "I don't know. A lot of reasons, I guess. I mean, at that point we'd only been together for six weeks, and it was just so sudden." She shook her head. "The scariest part of the whole thing was just knowing how serious he was. I know he meant it, and I know he wants to spend the rest of his life with me."

"And you don't want the same?"

"I do," Haley answered with a short nod. "I do. I'm not sure I knew that then, but I know it now. I'm still…not ready to be anyone's wife, but I do want to be with him."

Lydia shook her head. "Baby, I know how serious that boy is about you. Don't be worried about trusting him. Your father and I aren't."

Haley furrowed her brow and met her mother's eyes. "What are you talking about?"

Chuckling weakly, Lydia responded, "Honey, there's a reason I didn't look surprised when you told me he proposed to you." She gave her daughter a pointed look.

Haley's eyes widened. "You knew?" she questioned incredulously.

Her mother nodded. "Your father and I both knew. I'll admit that I was expecting an excited call from my daughter about a month ago though." She paused. "He showed up at your sister's house one day when your father and I were babysitting the kids and asked us." She laughed softly. "Your father freaked out, but once we talked through it we gave him our blessing, and he went on his way." Her daughter's mouth hung open in shock. "Does that surprise you?"

"I mean…yeah," Haley admitted. "Did you really think I was going to say yes?"

"After hearing the way that boy talked about you, yes I did," Lydia responded. "Your father did, too."

"Wow," Haley breathed out. "I can't believe he asked you guys' permission. I mean, I know he told Brooke, but I never would have thought in a million years he'd say something to you and Daddy."

Lydia smiled. "People can surprise you sometimes, baby."

* * *

"God, I love you," Haley whispered, leaving a hot trail of kisses along Nathan's jaw line. "I love you so much," she repeated a moment later, throwing her head back against her pillow.

Nathan took the opportunity and leaned his head down to her chest, ravishing her breasts with kisses as he continued to move inside of her. He let out a deep groan and then raised his head again so that his lips could meet hers in a passionate kiss.

Haley instantly pushed her tongue past his lips to explore his mouth and increased the steady rhythm of her hips against his, causing him to do the same. When she pulled out of the kiss, she felt his lips on her neck. She was already beginning to feel herself unravel. "Nathan," she moaned loudly.

"You're so perfect," he whispered against her skin before biting it gently. He continued to move with her for several more seconds before he heard her breathing rate increase tremendously.

Haley kept her arms wound around his neck as she tried to control her breathing and hold out for as long as possible. She wanted this to last forever. But a moment later, she buried her head in his neck, partially stifling the scream that she let out as she climaxed intensely.

God, there was nothing sexier than her screaming his name like that. Nathan let out a deep groan, which only increased a second later when he drove into her once again and felt himself fall over the edge. His entire body collapsed on top of her as he breathed heavily.

They lay there together in silence for several minutes, and then Nathan pulled back slightly so he could leave several kisses on her sweaty shoulder. "Haley," he whispered, burying his head in her neck. "You are so fucking sexy, baby."

Haley smiled at his words as she ran both her hands up and down his muscular back slowly. Each time he told her that she was sexy and each time he made love to her, she found herself believing him even more. She knew he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him, and it felt good. It felt incredible, actually. "So are you," she whispered, watching him lift his head so he could look her in the eye.

Nathan placed his lips on hers and kissed her for another several minutes, letting the slow rhythm of their tongues take over the moment.

"Nathan," Haley mumbled, pulling away. "You need to go."

Immediately his eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean? I thought-"

"Not what I meant," she interrupted him with a reassuring smile. "What I meant was you need to go back to Duke. I don't want my family's problems to keep you from your life anymore. It's not fair, and I won't do that to you."

He shook his head. "Hales, you're my life. And you're my family, which means that your parents are my family, too. I told you before…I'm not leaving you. As long as you're here, I'll be here."

Haley took a deep breath and slowly smiled. "Good," she whispered, kissing him again. "Because I really need you here. I…I know that my mom is awake now, but if I went back and something else happened while she was still in the hospital, I don't know what I'd do." She sighed quietly. "It's nice having you by my side."

"It's nice to be there," he said with a small smirk. "And by the way, you look so damn sexy screaming my name." His smirk widened.

Haley instantly blushed and brought her hands down to cover her face.

"You look sexy when you do that, too," he continued. "Actually, you know what…you look sexy no matter what you're doing."

"Stop it," Haley said with a laugh, taking her hands off of her face. Her blush had already deepened. "Don't be mean."

"Mean? Oh, Hales…that wasn't mean." Nathan flashed a smile. "But this is." Before she could say anything or move from beneath him, he began tickling her sides mercilessly.

"Nathan! Nathan, stop!" Haley managed to get out through her giggles as she squirmed beneath him.

Nathan chuckled and shook his head as he continued to tickle her. "I'm sorry, Hales, but I can't do that. It's just too good."

Haley tried to stealthily move out from under him, but her attempt was a failed one. "Nathan!" she squealed again through her laughs.

"Alright, alright," he said, stopping. "Say 'I love screaming your name while we have really, really hot sex,' and I'll stop." He smirked.

Her mouth dropped open, and she blushed again, but she let out a small laugh first. "Nathan Scott, I will not say that."

"Alright, you asked for it." He smiled and began tickling her again.

Only a few seconds later, Haley spoke up. "I love screaming your name while we have really, really hot sex," she said loudly, and he immediately stopped tickling her. She watched him smirk at her and smiled, pushing him off of her. Once he was beside her on his back, she climbed onto his body so she was lying on top of him. "Really, really, really hot sex," she whispered into his ear, leaving a wet kiss behind it.

Nathan smirked as his hands found her ass. "Wow, Hales. You added another really. I must be good."

"Yeah, you're something," she teased, pulling away so that she could look at him.

"Great?" he asked with a small pout.

Haley laughed, running her index finger over his bottom lip. "Eh," she answered with a shrug.

"Fantastic?"

"Eh."

"Awesome?"

Haley couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked. "More like…" She tapped her chin and pretended to think. "Phenomenal."

"Phenomenal," Nathan repeated, a small smirk on his face. "I guess that'll do."

"I guess it will," Haley replied before kissing him. She forcefully pushed her tongue between his lips as her hands roamed his body.

Nathan returned the kiss just as feverishly as his hands found her thighs. He pulled her legs up until she was straddling his hips and then rested his hands on her waist.

As Haley was peppering kisses across his naked chest and grinding her lower half into his, they heard a phone ringing.

"Damn it," Nathan mumbled, glancing over to see that it was his cell phone on the nightstand. When Haley started to pull away, he held her tight. "No, don't go. It's probably nothing. Keep going."

Haley smirked and leaned down to place one last kiss on his chest. Then she moved off of him, hugging the sheet close to her body. "Answer your phone," she told him with a pointed look.

"Yes, ma'am," Nathan replied with a fake salute. She stuck her tongue out at him, and he did the same before reaching over to grab his phone. "Hello? … Yeah, what's up? … Wait, are you sure? Positive? … Shit, Luke. … You know what? I can't deal with this right now. I haven't got the time. No, listen…just please try to come up with something, okay? … I'm sorry, man. I'll…I'll be back as soon as I can." Nathan flipped his phone shut and placed it back down on the nightstand.

Haley watched him curiously. "What was that all about? It didn't sound good."

Nathan shook his head and smiled at her. "It was nothing. Now where were we?" He smirked and rolled on top of her, instantly fusing his lips to hers.

* * *

Haley's mom wasn't released until almost a week later, and that also meant that Haley and Nathan didn't return to Duke until that time. Although at times Nathan felt like he was making a dumb decision staying away from basketball for so long, more than that he wanted to be there for Haley. And he wanted to be with her. They had spent a month apart not knowing how the other felt, and that was over. He didn't want to waste anymore time. He was going to spend as much time with her as possible, not only because it was what he wanted. It was also what he needed.

Brooke squealed when she saw her best friend enter their dorm room. "Tutor Girl! Oh, my God! How long has it been?" She jumped up from her place on her bed and threw her arms around Haley.

"Just a week, Brooke," Haley replied with a laugh. She dropped her bag by the door and reciprocated Brooke's embrace. "I know what you mean though. I've missed you, Brookie."

"I missed you, too. How the hell am I supposed to do my homework without you over my shoulder telling me the answers?" Brooke joked as she pulled out of their hug.

Haley rolled her eyes and smiled. "Oh, whatever. I don't give answers. I give hints."

Brooke raised an eyebrow but shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever you say. Where's Boy Toy?"

Haley reached for her bag again and put it on top of her bed, beginning to unpack as she spoke. "_Nathan _had to go talk to his coach."

"So how was it?" Brooke asked a moment later once she'd been eyeing her best friend for a few seconds.

"How was what?" Haley looked up, confused, as she pulled some more clothes out of her bag.

"The sex."

Haley's eyes widened, and she dropped the clothes in her hands onto the bed. "I don't know what you're talking about," she muttered unconvincingly as she tried to regain her composure.

Brooke rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, don't play dumb with me. How was it?"

Haley bit her lip and closed her eyes. There was no harm in telling Brooke the truth. It's not like she had to tell her about her past or the fact that she and Nathan had already slept together once before or the fact that she couldn't have children. She wasn't ready for Brooke or anyone besides Nathan to know any of those things. But since it was clearly so obvious that she'd had sex with Nathan, she figured there'd be no harm in a little elaboration. "It was…it was…" She struggled to find the right words.

"That good?" Brooke inquired with a smirk.

"Yes, it was that good," Haley replied without hesitation. "I…Brooke, it was amazing." She turned away from the clothes on her bed so she was fully facing her friend. "I can't even begin to tell you how incredible he makes me feel. Without even saying a word to me or touching me at all, he gives me butterflies…the good kind. And I just…I love him." She shrugged nonchalantly.

Brooke squealed again, just like she had when her roommate had entered the room. "I am so happy for you! You totally deserve this, Tutor Girl. Who knew Nathan would be the guy for you, huh?"

Haley shrugged, thinking back to what her mom had told her a few days before. "I guess people can surprise you."

"So does this mean you're rethinking the whole marriage proposal thing?" Brooke asked carefully. She knew it was a tough subject for Haley, one that she probably didn't wish to be talking about right now, but Brooke was curious. And more than that, she knew that Nathan would make Haley happy. It was so clear that they were meant for each other.

"No," Haley answered unsteadily. "I mean…honestly, I have been thinking about it a lot lately, but that doesn't mean I'm ready. That wasn't even that long ago. I just can't see myself being a wife right now. It's a huge thing to think about."

Brooke nodded. "I get that, Hales, I do. But can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

"You know that game Nathan and Luke had? The one where Nate sucked the first half, and that woman spilled her soda on you."

Haley furrowed her brow. "It's not ringing any bells."

Brooke let out a quiet sigh. "It was also the night he proposed to you."

Drawing in a breath, Haley nodded, finally remembering the day. To be honest when she thought about that night, all she could see was Nathan's face when she'd told him no. Everything else had faded. "Oh. Yeah, I remember."

"Do you remember before the game when you came to talk to me about Lucas? I had that sketch pad that I wouldn't let you see." She watched her friend's face to see if she was piecing the puzzle together.

"Yeah," Haley said slowly, not really seeing where she was going with the conversation. "What about it?"

Brooke sighed. "I was sketching your wedding gown."

Haley's eyes widened for the second time since her return.

"I told you I knew about the proposal," Brooke added. "And I don't know…I really did think you were going to say yes, Hales. I guess I got a little excited."

"Gosh, Brooke," Haley let out. Then she furrowed her brow. "Why are you telling me this now?"

Brooke shrugged and walked back over to her bed, taking a seat and picking up one of the many fashion magazines sitting on her nightstand. "I just want you to know that when that day comes, I'm your only option." She winked at her best friend from across the room.

* * *

"Oh, my gosh! You got it off!" Haley smiled widely and threw her arms around Nathan's neck.

Nathan grinned and nodded as he held her body close to his. "Yup, and it feels so much better without it."

Haley pulled away after a second and let him fully into her dorm room before closing the door. She watched him set their bag of takeout on her desk, and then she approached him, taking his previously casted hand gently in her own. "Wow, it looks good," she commented, running her fingers over his palm and then the back of his hand. She gave him another smile and a quick kiss before beginning to get the food out. "How'd it go with the coach?"

"Oh, it went…it went fine," Nathan replied, helping her with the food.

"Fine?" she questioned. "Just fine? Did he yell at you or anything? Was it horrible?"

Nathan chuckled and shook his head. "No, it was fine. And no, he didn't yell."

"Well, that's good, right?"

Biting his lip, Nathan nodded. "Yup, it's good." He stepped away from the desk and pulled his backpack off of his shoulder. "So I brought all my French stuff. You want to get started while we eat?"

"Sure," Haley responded. They got all their food set up and began eating from the takeout containers as Haley looked over his notes. "So what are you having the most trouble with?"

"Verbs," he answered immediately. "They all look the same to me, and it's really confusing."

Haley gave him a small smile and took a sip of her water. "Lucky for you, your girlfriend's specialty is verbs."

He shook his head and laughed. "I am lucky."

For the most part, they just talked while they ate, and Haley looked over his list of verbs. Once they were done with dinner, she made flash cards for him, and they went over them countless times before she placed the cards behind her back. "What are you doing?" Nathan asked.

"You've gotten them all right with the cards twice now," Haley answered. "Now we're going to see if you really know them. I'll read you the word in French, and you tell me what it means in English, okay?"

"I've got this," Nathan replied with a smirk. "Bring it, shorty."

Haley's mouth dropped open. "I thought you wanted my help, mister."

Nathan laughed. "You know I love your height, Hales. It's very sexy."

She rolled her eyes and leaned over to kiss him once before pulling back. "Okay. First one…aller."

Nathan scoffed. "Easy…to go."

"Acheter."

"To buy."

"Boire."

"To drink."

"Avoir."

"To have."

"Alright, smart ass…croire."

Nathan furrowed his brow. "That wasn't on the list, Hales."

"I know," she challenged with an eyebrow raised.

Nathan smirked and leaned over his textbook, slowly pushing his lips to hers. "To kiss."

"No," Haley answered with a laugh.

"Oh," he replied dejectedly. "Well it doesn't matter. I know all the ones on the list," he said smugly.

"Oh, really?"

He nodded.

"How about the other list?" Haley questioned. She watched him furrow his brow, and then she smirked, holding up another list of verbs.

Nathan audibly groaned. "We already did like twenty. How am I supposed to remember seven hundred different verbs?"

"It's hardly seven hundred," Haley replied. "Okay, I'll tell you what. How about we make it interesting this time?"

With a raised eyebrow, Nathan leaned towards her. "And how do you propose we do that?"

Haley smiled at him. "For every one you get right, I'll take a piece of clothing off."

"Strip studying? Hales, you really are a nerd."

She shrugged and began closing his textbook. "Okay. I guess if you don't want to-"

"No," he interrupted her. "I want to. I'm ready."

Haley laughed and stood up from the bed. She watched Nathan move so his feet were on the floor; he was sitting on the very edge of the bed. She smirked at him and moved directly in front of him. "Okay. Number one…dire."

"To say," Nathan replied cockily, eyeing her body.

Haley caressed his cheek for a moment. "Good job, baby." She reached down and pulled off one of her socks.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Of course, this is the one time I come over and you still have your socks on."

"Appeler," she said next.

"To call." Nathan watched her remove the other sock and smirked at the fact that the next piece of clothing she removed would have to actually start showing some real skin.

Haley thought for a moment. "Connaitre."

"Um…to know?" Nathan guessed, smiling when he saw that he was right. Haley was reaching for the hem of her shirt, and once it had cleared her head his eyes focused on the deliciously flat stomach in front of him. He reached a hand out, but she backed away.

"No touching," she reminded him softly. "Next…pleuvoir."

"To rain."

Haley slowly undid the button on her jeans and then the zipper. She pushed the material down her legs and watched Nathan's eyes move with them. Once they were around her ankles, she kicked them away and moved so she was right in front of him again. "Okay…conduire."

Nathan's eyes were so focused on her body that he was surprised he'd even heard her at all. He was not thinking about French anymore. Here was his incredibly sexy girlfriend standing before him in nothing more than a bra and a pair of lacy white panties, and he was supposed to be studying French. His focus was gone; it had flown out the window along with her clothes. "Um…" His eyes ran up her legs until they rested on her underwear. "Uh…"

Haley smirked even though she knew Nathan couldn't see her face. She brought her hands up to the front clasp of her bra and began undoing it. "Come on, Nathan," she whispered. She wanted him to get it right just as much as he did.

"I, um…" Nathan's eyes moved to her hands which were unfastening the clasp of her bra. Now it was open, and all she had to do was pull away the cups, and he'd see her beautiful body. "Um…I don't…I don't know. I can't think of it," he stuttered.

"You know this," she said reassuringly.

He thought for several more seconds, but the answer wasn't coming to him. The only change occurring in his body right now was in his pants, and it was a very noticeable one. "Hales, I don't know," he repeated, looking up to her eyes.

Haley sighed softly and refastened her bra.

"No, no, no," he objected, quickly standing up. "Don't do that."

"You didn't get it right," she reminded him.

"So?" he squeaked out, his eyes still roaming her body. They, again, refocused on her face after a moment or two.

Haley raised a hand to caress his cheek as she pushed her body against his. Her other hand trailed down his chest and over his belt buckle until she reached the extremely large bulge in his pants. She cupped it, quirking an eyebrow at him. "You seem a little excited, Nathan," she whispered. "I didn't know studying was such a turn on for you."

"Neither did I," he muttered with a smirk.

Haley flashed a smile as her hand began to stroke his erection through his jeans. "I guess we'll have to do this more often," she suggested in a breathy whisper.

Continuing to smirk, Nathan nodded as he let out a deep groan. "Hell yeah."

Haley moved both her hands to the hem of his t-shirt and pulled the garment over his head, tossing it into the pile which held her already discarded clothes. She wasted no time in moving her hands to his belt buckle, and once it was undone she pushed his pants down hastily.

Nathan stepped out of his jeans and brought his hands to the clasp on her bra, undoing it without any resistance from his girlfriend. Instead she closed her eyes as he removed the bra and then placed both his hands over her breasts. It felt so good to touch her without his cast as a hindrance.

Haley felt herself being pulled toward the bed, and she watched as Nathan pulled away so he could sweep all of his homework off of her bed. She raised an eyebrow, and he flashed a sheepish smile. "I'm failing anyways," he excused with a shrug. He pushed her down onto the mattress, allowing his body to hover over hers as he captured her lips in a heated kiss.

Pushing his boxers down, Haley cautiously rolled them over so that she was on top of him. She finished removing his boxers before pushing her own underwear off of her legs as she straddled him. She bent down and kissed him passionately for long minutes until air became an issue. Then she sat back on her knees and placed her hands on his chest, gently lowering herself onto his throbbing cock.

Nathan hadn't been expecting that, and the loud shout of his partner's name proved it. His hands moved to her hips to help guide her movements, but in all honesty she needed no help at all. Nathan's eyes stayed glued to her body as she eased off of him slowly before pushing back down. Her movements remained slow for only a few seconds before he began thrusting his hips up into her, causing her to speed up.

Haley's eyes were closed; there was no way she could keep them open this time, not with the intense pleasure she was feeling at having Nathan's hardness pulsing inside of her. The pressure of her hands on his chest increased as she leaned forward a bit in order to speed up her movements.

"Fuck," Nathan mumbled as he watched her. He didn't even care that her eyes were closed as long as his were open so he could see her. He sat up a bit causing her hands to fall from his chest, and he began to ravage her breasts with his lips.

Haley continued to bounce on him, and when she couldn't take it anymore she lifted Nathan's head with her hands so she could kiss him. She roughly pushed her tongue into his mouth as she felt herself being pulled closer to her orgasm.

Nathan let out a deep grunt as he felt himself go deeper inside of her, and he tore his lips away from hers. "Goddamn it, Hales," he muttered into her neck. "You look so fucking sexy right now."

Instead of answering him verbally, Haley kissed him again, this time longer and deeper. She continued to move on him for a few more seconds, her pace even quicker now, until she felt herself being drawn closer to the edge. "Nathan," she whispered into his shoulder. "I'm so close."

Nathan began thrusting up again, and as if on cue he watched Haley's orgasm take over her every sense. She shuddered above him and cried out his name, and it took nothing more for him to come as well. Everything he had spilled into her as his back hit the mattress, his lover's body collapsing on his chest.

Haley's hands rubbed up and down his sides as they lay together, and after a moment she lifted her head to place a few soft kisses on his sweaty chest. "I love you," she whispered, now looking into his eyes.

"I love you, too," he replied, wrapping his arms around her petite frame. He watched her move so that her head was resting sideways on his chest, and he stared at the ceiling as he let out a large and silent breath. God, that had been amazing. He loved her so much, and now more than ever he knew he couldn't let go of that. He needed her.

Everything else in Nathan's life was falling apart. Everything that had meant anything to him since he was a child was leaving him, and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should even be upset about it because now he had Haley, and she was even more amazing than any of the rest of it. But he still couldn't help but feel like he was losing a huge part of himself. He tightened his hold on his girlfriend and listened as her breathing evened out. He left a lingering kiss on the top of her head and closed his eyes.

He couldn't tell Haley yet. Everything with her mom was still so fresh, and mentioning it while they were blissfully in bed together would just ruin the moment. She would find out anyways. He promised himself that he'd tell her in the morning. He just didn't want her to feel guilty somehow because it was Nathan who had made the decisions. It was Nathan that had had to finally pick a life. And it wasn't her fault. Admittedly, he was also a little embarrassed. He was supposed to be a man…a strong, confident man that Haley could always count on. And losing one of the most important things to him like he just had, it wasn't an option for men. He felt ashamed for even feeling embarrassed. It was all one big roller coaster of emotions.

But as he lay there with Haley in his arms, the rest of it seemed to fade away. She was the only one that mattered to him anymore, and he was going to be strong for her. He would make it; there wasn't a doubt in his mind. He needed to stop focusing on what was now the past and start focusing on his relationship with Haley. He wanted to help her get through everything. He knew she was still hurting and worried about her parents' accident, and he would be there for her. They had yet to completely discuss the fact that she couldn't have children. It was obvious how much that was tearing her up on the inside, but he would be there for her.

As he lay there, still unable to fall asleep, he found himself comparing the old Nathan and the new Nathan. A few months ago, if someone would have told him he'd be hopelessly in love with the girl of his dreams and without the one thing that had always meant the most to him, he probably would have clocked them. Because Nathan Scott didn't do love. He didn't do family and compassion and apologies. And he sure as hell wouldn't have sacrificed his career for any woman.

But he was different now. It had always been clear to him, but it was even more so now. Nathan Scott did love, and he did it with Haley James. He would never love anyone else, and he didn't need a map of his future to know that. He just did. When he looked down at the beautiful, sleeping girl in his arms he knew it, without a doubt. Haley had his heart, and he was never giving it to anyone else. No one else understood him like Haley did; he didn't want them to. That would only make what he and Haley shared seem less important and rare, and those were two things it would always be.

Nathan rolled over slowly so that Haley was on her back. She really didn't look comfortable at all resting on top of him the way that she had been. He covered them both with the duvet and then placed an arm securely around her. He found himself resting his hand on her stomach, and he let out a short sigh. They were only in college, but he wanted to have babies with her. He wanted Haley to be the mother of his children. And when she had told him about wanting a son with his eyes and daughter he could spoil, it had broken his heart. Because just like Haley, he now knew that they would never have either. He didn't blame Haley; he didn't blame anybody. But he still wished he could change it, for himself and for her. He knew how much she wanted to be a mother, how much she craved that biological connection to her child. And even though he sure as hell didn't have it figured out right now, he'd meant what he'd said to her those few nights ago in her bedroom. They would figure it out, and they would have a family of their own one day. He prayed that with all of his heart.

Pushing her damp hair out of her face, Nathan laid a soft kiss on Haley's forehead. He let his lips linger for long seconds, and when he finally pulled away he snuggled his body close to hers. He let his head rest above her heart and let the gentle beats lull him into a deep sleep.

"I love you," he whispered against her chest before the darkness finally enveloped him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for the reviews for last chapter; they were all greatly appreciated! Your guys' dedication to this story is awesome. And just as a little something...all the sex Nathan and Haley are having is being written in for a reason, one that probably won't come as a shock to a lot of you. But I've been thinking and planning it for a while now. Just waiting for the right time!**

* * *

A long, bearlike yawn escaped Nathan as he awoke from a good night's sleep. His eyes opened slowly, and he sat up when he didn't feel the warmth of Haley's body beside him. Only a moment later he spotted her sitting a few feet away in her desk chair, her feet pulled up so she was sitting Indian style. Her hair had been messily swept up, she was wearing her reading glasses, and she was dressed in only Nathan's t-shirt from the previous night. Haley was extremely focused on the novel she held in her grasp, and Nathan smiled at how content she looked. Then, as thoughts of what they had done the previous night came rushing back to him, his smile transformed into a wide smirk. He closed his eyes, and immediately the picture that entered his mind was of Haley riding him. That had been the first time they had made love that way, and although he would admit to being slightly surprised Nathan had enjoyed the hell out of it. He felt himself getting hard as he pictured how they had made love, but when he heard a small giggle his eyes snapped open.

Haley was still sitting in the same position, but her eyes were now on Nathan…or more specifically, the appendage just below Nathan's waist. She had closed her book and set it on her desk and was now smirking at him. "What you thinking about, baby?" she questioned teasingly as she removed her glasses.

Nathan returned her smirk as he followed her line of vision. Yep, it was definitely obvious that he was more than a little turned on. At any other time he might be embarrassed that just a fantasy had gotten him so hard, but it wasn't a fantasy anymore. And he wasn't embarrassed around Haley; she knew him. "Well what do you think, Miss James?" he replied with a grin.

"I don't know," she let out with a shrug. A small smile tugged at her lips as she stood up and sauntered over to her bed, pulling the covers down so her boyfriend's body was completely revealed to her. She climbed onto the bed and on top of him, attaching her lips to his softly. One of her hands boldly snaked down his chest and wrapped around his aching need for her.

Nathan sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. "Last night was amazing," he managed to whisper as he felt her hand begin to move up and down on him.

Haley smiled and nodded, leaning down to capture his lips in another kiss. She felt his tongue enter her mouth and, in turn, sped up the movements of her hand. "It was pretty amazing," she whispered after pulling away. "Everything with you is." She kissed him again and then pulled her hand away from his lower body.

"Babe, what are you doing?" Nathan questioned, his eyes opening. He chuckled a bit. "You can't just get me all worked up like that and then leave me like this."

She shook her head as she looked into his eyes. She'd been wanting to talk to him about this for a few days now, and she just hadn't known when she would have the strength to do so. Even though it didn't seem like it at times, it was a big deal…to Haley, at least. "Nathan, I talked to my mom the other day," she whispered.

Nathan instantly grew concerned. She looked serious. "Is everything okay?"

She nodded, placing both her hands on his chest. "Everything's fine. It was actually while we were still down there, and I talked to her about us." She paused. "She told me that you asked her and Dad's permission to propose to me."

"Yeah," Nathan replied quietly. "Does that bother you?" He couldn't quite tell what she was feeling, and if she was mad he guessed he would understand. "I know I went behind your back, but I just figured…they're your family, you know? And with everything that's happened in your past, I thought they'd want to know."

Haley let a small smile light up her face and shook her head, absentmindedly stroking his strong chest. "No, it doesn't bother me, Nathan. I understand why you did it, and it means a lot to me. I know it did to my parents, too. I guess it just…it reiterates to me how serious you were with that proposal and how well you know me, and it just makes me feel worse about the whole thing." She leaned her head farther down to rest her forehead against his. "I know that you're still hurting because of that, Nathan. And I'm still sorry."

"And you still don't need to be sorry, baby," he answered seriously.

"Nathan, that day that you said I didn't love you and didn't feel strongly for you…you said that you knew it the day you proposed to me. And I can't help but think that if that's the case, maybe I just never showed you enough or told you enough, you know? And for that, I have to apologize. The day that you think my love for you isn't true is the day that you're wrong."

Nathan nodded slowly and whispered, "I know."

"Do you?" she replied. "I just…you have to know that I want to be your wife, Nathan. I do, more than anything…someday." She watched his face as she spoke and saw the hope rise and fall in his features. "I'm just not ready."

He nodded again and whispered, "I know," for the second time. A moment later he spoke again. "It's okay, baby. I'll wait for you. I'll wait forever if I have to."

"You won't," she assured him, closing her eyes and pressing her lips against his. She intimately massaged his tongue with her own and began grinding her lower half into his, causing a bit of delicious friction to occur between their bodies.

Nathan moaned into her mouth as his hands found the hem of his t-shirt she was wearing and he swiftly pulled it over her head, his lips reattaching to hers as soon as the garment had been removed. They simply kissed for a few minutes before he rolled them over so he was on top of her and took her slowly. They made love, each giving and taking as much as they could, and when it was over they cuddled closely and Haley continued to whisper words of reassurance in his ear. She needed him to know that it was all just as real for her as it was for him and that she didn't nor would she ever take their love for granted. She would tell him over and over again forever if she had to, until he believed her, because right now she wasn't sure that he did.

* * *

"Nathan, where were you today?" Lucas asked as he entered the dorm room he shared with his brother. He threw his bag on the floor next to his bed and looked at his brother.

"I spent the day with Haley," Nathan replied simply.

Continuing to stare at Nathan, Lucas crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell happened? Everyone's saying that you quit the team." When his brother remained silent for several seconds, he asked quietly, "Did you?"

Nathan let out a long sigh and stood up from his bed, turning to face his brother fully. "I didn't quit, Lucas. I made a choice."

"You quit," Lucas stated, throwing his hands into the air. "This isn't a joke, Nathan. This is your career."

"No, my career can be anything I want it to be."

Lucas looked at his brother incredulously. "And you want it to be basketball. I know you, Nathan. You've loved this game since you were a kid. That doesn't just stop overnight."

Nathan shook his head and pushed past his brother to the other side of the room. "You don't understand any of it, Lucas, and I don't expect you to."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means…have you even stopped to ask me why I did it?" Nathan spat out, his volume growing with every word. "It's not like I walked into his office and wanted basketball to end for me. Why would I do that, Lucas? You're right; I do love the game. I love it more than almost anything, but I refuse to stay on that team with that ass of a coach. It's not happening."

"Nathan, what the hell are you talking about? Why is he an ass?"

Nathan sighed and shook his head. "He's an ass, Lucas, because he was talking shit about my girlfriend. The girl that I love and plan to spend the rest of my life with, and it's unacceptable."

Lucas continued to look at him confusedly. "I still have no idea what you're talking about, Nathan. Why would he talk shit about Haley? It doesn't even make any sense."

Nathan shook his head once more. "Don't ask me to explain it to you. How the fuck should I know why the guy insists upon making inappropriate and assy comments about Haley?"

_Nathan knocked on his coach's office door, and once he was called inside he walked in. "You wanted to see me, Coach?" _

"_Have a seat," the man replied curtly. He watched his best player hesitantly take a seat in one of the chairs resting in front of his desk. "Now…would you mind explaining to me why you've missed an entire week of practices? And why you didn't even have the balls to tell me yourself but instead got Lucas to do your dirty work for you?" _

"_Look, Coach, I know I've missed practice, but-" _

_Nathan was interrupted. "I've heard from some of the guys on the team that you have a new girlfriend. From what I hear, she's…pretty," he said with a dirty grin. Quickly his face became serious again. _

"_Yes, I do, but what does that have to do with anything?" Nathan inquired. "Haley doesn't-" _

_He was interrupted again. "Haley," the coach said slowly, leaning forward to place his elbows on his desk. "Haley James, correct?" _

_Nathan nodded confusedly. "Yes, but-" _

"_I've seen her. She's pretty." _

_Once again, Nathan was confused. "Coach, can we please just get back to the point? I really don't see what Haley has to do with any of this." _

"_Well she's the reason you've missed a week of my practices, right?" his coach questioned knowingly. When his player didn't respond, he continued. "Look, Scott…I know what it's like to be a college guy trying to get some action, and-" _

"_Excuse me?" Nathan said loudly, this time doing the interrupting for himself. "You have no idea what you're talking about." _

_The coach raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I think I do, Nathan. I get it, okay? I know I'm your coach, but you can be honest with me about this stuff." He paused as a smirk overwhelmed his face. "Like I said, I've seen Haley James. You'd have to be a fool to miss out on that. She's a beautiful girl…that tight little body…" _

_Nathan stood up, his fists clenching at his sides. "You need to stop, right now. Haley has nothing to do with my place on this team, and you have no right to talk about her that way." _

_A laugh escaped the coach's throat as he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Nathan, come on…all I'm saying is that I understand. However, that doesn't mean you can just skip full weeks of practice to go fuck some girl. You need to get your priorities straight." _

_Nathan's fists clenched tighter as he tried to keep his heart rate under control and not leap across the desk and strangle his coach. _

"_You're going to have to do some major work to make up for the time you missed," his coach continued. "But if you wanted to let me in on some of that action, maybe we could work something out." _

_He was smirking again, and Nathan did not like it. "And what does that mean?" he asked through clenched teeth._

_His coach stood up and shrugged, still smirking. "Like I said…Haley James is a good looking girl. Any guy would be lucky to have her…especially a guy like me." _

"_You're joking," Nathan muttered, shaking his head. "You must be joking." _

"_Just one night," the coach said, holding his hands up in defense. "That's all I'm asking for. Then I'll give her back to you. Come on, Scott…you want to be on this team, don't you? You want to play for me, right?" _

_Nathan shook his head. "At the moment, I'm not so sure." _

_His coach laughed again and shook his head. "Loosen up, Nate. It's one night. Send her over to my place, we'll have some drinks, we'll fu-" _

_Before he could finish his sentence, Nathan leaned far across the desk in front of him and punched his coach square in the jaw. He held his hand and grimaced before shaking it off and walking to the door. "I quit," he said loud enough for the other man to hear him. Then he turned and left his office._

Lucas shook his head once his brother was done recounting everything. "Nathan, he's our coach. He's been our coach for four years. He wouldn't say things like that, and you know it."

Both of Nathan's eyebrows rose. "What, you think I'm lying? You know what, Lucas? That really sucks of you. I would never make something like this up."

"Nate, I just really can't see him saying anything like that," Lucas replied as calmly as he could.

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen." Nathan was nearly yelling now. "No, you know what? Believe whatever the hell you want to believe. I don't give a shit." Grabbing his jacket off of the back of his desk chair, he pulled it on and left the room quickly, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

"So what are you and Boy Toy doing for Christmas?" Brooke asked as she sat across from Haley in a booth at the café. "Or have you not talked about it yet?"

Haley smiled at the mention of Nathan and Christmas in the same sentence. Christmas had always been her favorite holiday growing up, and that hadn't changed. She couldn't wait to share it with Nathan for the first time. "No, we've talked about it," Haley confirmed. "We're actually going to his mom's for Christmas Eve and then to my parents' Christmas Day."

"Aww," Brooke cooed as her eyes lit up. She clapped her hands together lightly. "What are you getting him? Oh, do we need to go shopping? How about tomorrow?"

Haley laughed and shook her head. "There is no need to go shopping, actually. We're not getting each other gifts."

Brooke's brow furrowed together. "Um, why not? That's the whole point of Christmas. And it's your first Christmas together. You can't not get each other gifts. It's un-American, Haley."

"Well, either way…we're not," Haley said with another short laugh. "Actually we're not getting each other gifts because we're leaving from my parents' house to go to Nathan's mom's old lake house for the weekend. Apparently she, like, never uses it anymore, and she said it was fine," she continued with a shrug.

"Wow, a weekend away together," Brooke said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "Nice, Tutor Girl."

Haley rolled her eyes and smiled. "We spend all our nights together anyways, but it'll be nice to just spend a weekend together without having to worry about school or basketball or anything else." She reached for her water and took a sip. "What about you and Luke?"

"I think we're going to his mom's," Brooke replied, instantly smiling at the thought of meeting her boyfriend's family. She'd never thought of herself as that type of girl, but it was different with Lucas. She couldn't wait to meet his family and maybe become a part of it someday. It was exciting to think about. "I don't even know where my parents are right now, even if I wanted to see them, so we'll probably be there all week."

"I'm sorry, Brooke," Haley said sympathetically. She knew that Brooke was hurt by how little her parents seemed to care about her, even though she refused to admit it. Brooke was strong, and she had been for as long as Haley had known her, but no one deserved that from their parents. That type of love was supposed to be unconditional, and at that thought Haley found herself thinking about her own children. It wasn't fair that someone like Brooke's parents could have children and treat them so poorly when Haley, who would give anything to be able to have children, couldn't even have one. She knew she would love her child unconditionally, and it was all just really unfair.

Brooke watched her friend's face fall and reacted. "Haley, what's wrong?"

Haley looked up quickly and shook her head, plastering on a smile. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"Haley," Brooke continued skeptically.

"Really, Brooke…I'm fine." Haley smiled again and told her to tell her more about her plans with Lucas.

Just as Brooke was getting ready to tell Haley what she'd gotten her boyfriend for Christmas, Nathan entered the café and wandered over to their table. He slid into the booth next to Haley and kissed her cheek.

"Hey, baby. How was practice?" Haley inquired, placing a hand on Nathan's knee.

"Hales, about that-"

"You know what? I've got somewhere to be," Brooke announced, standing up from the table. She finished off her glass of water and then waved goodbye to the couple, working as quickly as she could to get out of the awkward conversation she knew was about to ensue. Lucas had told her all about what the guys were saying about Nathan. In fact, he'd called her the second practice was over to rant about it. And obviously Haley didn't know.

Haley furrowed her brow. Clearly Brooke was trying to escape something, and Nathan was looking nervous. "Nathan, what's going on? You did just come from practice, right?"

Nathan took a deep breath and shook his head.

"Okay," Haley said slowly. "Why didn't you go?"

"Hales, I didn't…I didn't exactly tell you everything that happened with my coach. I mean, I didn't lie to you, but I didn't say what really happened either."

Her grip on his knee tightened involuntarily, and she turned a bit in the booth so she could see him better. "What are you talking about?" When he didn't answer, she took a deep breath. "Nathan, what happened?"

"I'm not on the team anymore," Nathan said quickly, watching her face.

Haley's mouth dropped open. "Oh, my God," she muttered. "I'm so sorry." She scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around his body in an attempt to comfort him. "He kicked you off of the team?" she asked after pulling away slightly.

Nathan sighed and shook his head. "Not exactly."

Pulling away a bit more so she could see his face, Haley watched him confusedly. "I don't understand. If he didn't kick you off of the team, then why aren't you playing?"

"I quit."

Haley was sure her eyes doubled in size at that. "What do you mean, you quit? Why?"

He shrugged and shifted uncomfortably in the booth. "I'm just done with it all, Haley. I don't want to do it anymore." He knew he couldn't tell her about his encounter with the coach. He knew the kind of person she was, and he knew if he told her she would find some way to blame herself for his not being on the team. And there wasn't a chance in hell he was going to let her feel that way.

"Nathan," Haley whispered, moving the hand that was resting on his knee up to his thigh. Her other one rose to caress his cheek. "You love basketball."

Nathan licked his lips and nodded, already feeling a bit of comfort from her gentle touch. "I do love basketball, Haley, but it's not worth it."

"Not worth what?" Haley questioned. "Nathan, basketball is your dream. I don't want to see you lose that. Whatever is going on, I'm sure you can work it out."

He shook his head, focusing his eyes on the table before him. "No, I can't. I went to talk to my coach, and he…he was a complete asshole. I'm not putting up with it."

Haley let out a short sigh, continuing to run her thumb over his cheekbone. "But you have less than a season left with him. You've put up with him for four years already, and now you're going to let him take this away from you? Don't let him do that." Haley didn't know what the coach had said to Nathan, but she did know that Nathan had worked his whole life to get where he was. She had heard plenty of stories about how his father had ridden him and pushed him, and it was Nathan's turn to take hold of his dreams…not let them go. "I mean, it is still your dream, right?" she asked carefully.

Nathan closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "Yes." Talking to Haley was actually confusing him more. She was being incredibly supportive, but he wondered if she would still act this way if she knew the truth about what his coach had done to piss him off. But everything she said made a ton of sense. He had worked and played his heart out since he was a kid just so he could have his dream and make it to the NBA. Was he seriously going to let some perverted coach get in the way of that?

Then he thought about Haley. He would do anything to protect her, and if doing that meant distancing himself from the game he would do it. It wasn't just about him anymore, nor would it ever be again.

"So go after it," Haley encouraged him in a whisper. "You deserve to have whatever you want, Nathan, and if basketball is it then you can't let it go just because your coach is an ass. And I won't let you."

Nathan was silent for a few moments before he spoke. "Haley, if I do this…if I play…you have to _promise _me that you won't talk to him, okay?"

"Your coach?"

"Yeah," he replied, looking her in the eye now. "Ever, no matter what."

"Why?" she couldn't help but ask. "I've dealt with my fair share of assholes, Nathan."

He nodded. "I know you have, and that's why I want you to stay away from him. You've dealt with a lot, and you shouldn't have to keep doing it. I don't want you to. So just please stay away from him, okay?" His words and eyes both pleaded with her.

Confused as to why he was being so insistent about this but willing to do anything for him to get back on the team, Haley nodded. "Okay, I won't talk to him."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise," she whispered.

Nathan nodded and leaned his head against the back of the booth, feeling her lips on his a moment later. He reciprocated the soft kiss, contentedly letting her forehead rest on his once it was over. "Thank you, Hales," he whispered, looking into her chocolate brown orbs.

"Anything for you," she responded, smiling softly at him before kissing him again.

* * *

"Here's the deal. I'll play for you, and I'll work my ass off, but you will not talk to or even go near my girlfriend," Nathan said boldly, not even knocking before he entered his coach's office.

The man behind the desk scoffed. "And what makes you think I'm that desperate?"

Nathan smirked. "Your record since I've been injured. Have you even won a game? You need me, and you know it."

With a sigh, his coach stood up and placed his hands in his pockets.

"That's the deal. Take it or leave it," Nathan continued.

"You seem awfully protective of Haley, Mr. Scott," his coach observed but then shook his head. "But you're right; this team has suffered in your absence. We need you, but that doesn't mean either of us has to like it."

"Fine," Nathan replied curtly before leaving the room. He was not going to spend one extra second with that man. He was sure if he did he'd end up punching him again or worse, and that was not something he needed.

* * *

Nathan watched Haley from his place on her bed. She was sitting in her desk chair and had been doing homework, but now she was gazing longingly across the room. He could tell she was looking at her guitar, and he closed his textbook, choosing to speak. "Play for me," he commanded softly.

"What?" Haley said, snapping out of her reverie.

"Your guitar," he said, standing up and walking over to her. He held both his hands out until she accepted them and guided her movements until she was standing. "Will you play for me again?" He wrapped his arms around her waist as hers wound around his neck.

Haley bit her lip but was smiling. "If you want me to."

"I do," he assured her. "I haven't heard you play since that first week we met. You were so amazing with that guitar, and when you played that song for me you made me feel things that I'd never felt before…incredible things. You still do." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I want to hear your beautiful voice again, Hales. That's what's going to make everything better for me."

Haley pulled one hand from behind his neck to caress his cheek and closed her eyes. "Baby, what happened?" she whispered. "I know that you're not telling me everything. You didn't tell me about quitting the team at first, and then you just randomly asked me to never speak to your coach, which I've never even done before anyways. What's going on?" She opened her eyes so she could read his blue ones.

Nathan bit his lip and shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," she argued softly. "It matters, Nathan. You're always telling me about how I need to be honest with you, and you need to do the same with me. It doesn't matter how little or how big it is, but I need you to talk to me about it. Please do that for me."

He nodded after a few minutes and then opened his mouth. "He…when I went to talk to my coach about missing practice, he started asking me about you."

"Me?"

He nodded again. "I guess he heard some of the guys talking about us, and he found out that way. I kept telling him that you had nothing to do with it, and he just kept making all these weird comments. And then he told me that if I set him up…with you…he would forget that anything ever happened." He watched her mouth fall open, and his grip around her waist instinctively tightened. "I know I should have told you sooner, baby, but I was so angry. He made some really…inappropriate comments."

"And that's when you quit?"

"Yes," he whispered. "Actually…I punched him, and then I quit."

Haley closed her eyes, leaning up on her toes to press her lips against his. "I'm sorry that you've had to go through all of this, baby. It's not fair."

He furrowed his brow when she pulled away. "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I just thought…I don't know. I guess I thought…" He shook his head. "I don't know."

"Nathan, I still stand by what I said to you before. Yeah, it's hard, and it sucks, but you've still got to chase your dream. We'll get through it together, and then you can finally have everything you've ever wanted." She gave him a small, reassuring smile.

"God, you're amazing." Nathan leaned forward and kissed her heatedly but pulled away after only a few minutes. "Now go play for me." When she turned to get her guitar, he smacked her ass playfully and simply smirked when she turned around to eye him suspiciously.

Haley got her guitar and sat on the bed, Nathan joining her a moment later. She began strumming, and her voice soon followed as she played for her boyfriend. She really didn't know why he would want to hear her sing again, but when she looked at his face which was watching her intensely she knew he was genuine.

The song seemed to end pretty quickly, and as soon as Haley set her guitar down on the floor next to her bed Nathan had her pinned down. His lips were on hers passionately, and she could already feel him hard against her thigh.

"You're beautiful," he whispered as he pulled away momentarily. "So is your voice." He watched her blush, and he smiled, unbuttoning her shirt as he gazed at her.

Haley didn't say anything. She simply locked eyes with him and maintained eye contact as he finished unbuttoning her shirt. She sat up a little, allowing him to pull the garment off of her. She reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra, throwing it aside as well, before she lay back down on the mattress.

Nathan sat back on his knees to pull his shirt over his head and then pressed his body into hers carefully as his lips melted over hers. He ground his erection against her, needing the friction, and then he felt her hands on his jeans.

Haley undid his pants slowly and deliberately before pushing them down his legs, watching as he discarded them before moving his hands to her own pants. Her eyes watched him as he slid her jeans down her legs and then did the same with her panties. Before she could reach his boxers to remove them, he had those off, too. She smirked at him as his body covered hers. "In a hurry?" she whispered.

He nodded wordlessly as he brought his lips down to her breasts. One of his arms held his weight while the other hand moved down her stomach slowly. When he reached the spot between her thighs, he teased her only for a second before slipping two of his fingers inside of her.

Haley's breath caught in her throat even though she had seen the action coming. It still felt amazing. When he started pumping his digits in and out of her, she threw her head back against her pillow. "Oh fuck, Nathan," she whispered as her back arched up off the bed.

Nathan let out a groan at her words and moved his fingers faster. He loved hearing her let out words like that when they were making love; it was such a turn on, and it pleased him to know that no one else got to see this side of her. He was impossibly hard and wanted nothing more than bury himself deep inside of her, but he wanted her to come more than once tonight. He wanted to be able to watch her, and that's what he was doing now. His eyes were glued to her face as he gently slipped a third finger into her wetness.

Haley let out a long moan as her hands gripped the sheets. "Oh, God," she whispered, biting her lip in an attempt to stifle the scream she knew would be coming soon.

Nathan planted a few wet kisses on her stomach as he began pumping his fingers at a furious pace. "Are you almost there?" he whispered huskily against her stomach as he watched her. He saw her nod quickly, her eyes still closed. "Come for me, baby. I want to watch you come."

Wishing she could open her eyes to look at him but feeling too much pleasure to actually do so, Haley's closed eyes tightened as she fell over the edge and screamed his name. She felt his fingers slow down until they pulled out of her completely, and she finally opened her eyes to see him licking them clean.

Nathan smirked at her as he made his way back up her body, kissing her briefly before moving his lips to her ear. "I love it when you talk dirty," he whispered.

Haley blushed but knew he couldn't see it. "I need you, Nathan," she mumbled. Even though she'd just experienced a mind numbing orgasm, she still needed more from him. And he was obviously in need of a release, too.

"What do you need?" he growled, pulling his head back so he could look at her face.

She could feel him pulsing against her thigh, and even just that simple sensation was causing her pleasure. "I need you," she breathed, moving her hand down until it was wrapped around his member. "I need your cock inside of me…now." Her voice became more demanding with each word.

Nathan closed his eyes, literally almost coming just from hearing those words. Not being able to wait a second longer, he roughly pushed into her, letting out a deep groan in the process. "Does that feel good, baby?" he muttered, nibbling on her neck.

Haley moaned in response and nodded, her hands pressing into his muscular back. "Yes," she whispered, moving her hips against his as she tried to get him to move.

Nathan complied a moment later, kissing her soundly as he pulled out of her and then pushed back in with the same intensity as he had upon entering her. They moved together for several seconds before he captured the lobe of her ear in between his teeth. "I love you, baby," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she replied, pulling his head up so she could kiss him again.

Pulling his lips away from hers, Nathan rested his forehead against hers, their lower bodies still moving in a perfect rhythm.

"You're the one for me, Nathan Scott," Haley whispered, her hold on him tightening.

Nathan smiled upon hearing her words and kissed her once, his hips moving faster against hers. "You're the one for me, Haley James." When his lips landed on hers a second time, he felt her moan into his mouth as she came, and feeling her muscles tightening around him caused him to do the same. He emptied himself inside of her but never tore his lips away from hers.

For the first time in almost a week, Nathan and Haley both slept peacefully, and neither had anything but the other person on their mind.


	15. Chapter 15

The team was on the road for almost the entirety of the following week, and even though he had to play with him Nathan didn't speak to Lucas outside the realm of basketball. He made no attempt to hide the fact that he was pissed at his brother. Not believing him about something small was one thing, but what had occurred between himself and his coach was not a little thing. And for Lucas to doubt that he was telling the complete truth hurt; he thought his brother knew him better than that. The combination of Lucas, Grant, and his coach all being in his constant presence for a week straight put a real strain on Nathan. He learned to have self control that he never would have had if it weren't for Haley. They talked on the phone for at least two hours every night, and every night he voiced his frustrations to her. And every night, she told him that it was going to be okay. She told him to focus on basketball and pursuing his dream. Whether he liked it or not, they were a part of his team, and they had to work together. She also assured him that no matter what happened, she would be there for him. That's what comforted him most.

Haley missed Nathan with a new intensity all week. She threw herself into her schoolwork and studying for final exams to distract herself, but just like every other time none of it worked. Nothing could take Nathan's place in her mind, and she didn't want it to. She thought about him constantly, and what she found herself thinking about most was his proposal to her. It felt like a different lifetime ago, but every time Haley thought about it she wanted it more. She wanted to be Nathan's wife; she hadn't been lying about that. And she'd told him that someday she would be ready to marry him. Lately, Haley was thinking that maybe someday would come sooner than she thought.

When the guys returned home from their long road trip, Haley and Nathan spent almost twenty-four hours in bed together. They made love several times, but more than that they simply lay in each other's arms and talked. They shared their weeks with each other and found that their disdain for time spent apart was mutual. They were getting closer, and their relationship was getting stronger; both of them could feel it. Nathan almost brought up the topic of Haley's infertility. He could tell that she was still thinking about it often and that it was hurting her; he didn't know if that pain in her heart would ever cease. But in the end, he decided against it. He told himself he'd bring it up over their Christmas weekend together. For the moment, he just wanted to lie with her in his arms and be together. He didn't want anything to ruin the goodness they had going.

Final exams came and went, and Haley helped Nathan study almost every night the week beforehand. Eventually she discovered which tactics worked best for him, and unfortunately strip studying was not one of them. His concentration flew out the window way too fast with that one, and he needed to be serious for final exams. Then they could strip for each other as much as they wanted to. Haley convinced Nathan to go out with Lucas and Brooke before the couples went their separate ways for Christmas break. He was obviously reluctant, and he didn't speak to his brother for the duration of the dinner, but he did it for Haley. It meant a lot to her, and seeing her happy and smiling with her best friend was definitely worth the sacrifice. He knew he would forgive his brother with time, but for now he just couldn't do it. He wouldn't.

Christmas Eve was spent with Nathan's mom, as planned, and she and Haley really hit it off. Haley had been nervous to meet his mother, mostly because she knew that she was the first girl that Nathan had ever brought home. And she really didn't know much about his mother except that she owned a really nice restaurant that she had only been to when it was deserted. She sounded nice enough, but it still wasn't enough to shake her nerves. Almost as soon as she and Nathan arrived at Deb's house, though, her worries waned. The woman was incredibly warm and inviting and ended up thanking Haley for everything she'd done for her son. They'd shared a nice dinner together, and even though he could barely get a word in edgewise, Nathan enjoyed it. He sat back and watched with a proud smile as his mother and his girlfriend chatted away about anything and everything. If he hadn't known it before, he knew now that Haley was the one for him. She fit in his life perfectly. Eventually Deb had busted out Nathan's old baby pictures, and even though he had been embarrassed at first Nathan had ended up looking at them along with the two women. Haley had laughed so much as Deb told story after story about her baby boy and all the trouble he used to get into. Nathan had noticed, though, that when all the photos had been looked at Haley began to look a little wistful. She almost looked sad, and he knew instantly what she was thinking about. It only reinforced his plans to talk to her about it over the weekend. Overall, though, the visit with his mother was a good one, and they were on their way to Haley's parents' in the morning.

That same wistful look was in Haley's eyes now, but Nathan couldn't see it. She stood in the doorway of the living room at her parents' house and watched Nathan with the kids. Gracie and Logan both remembered him, and the other small children in the family latched onto him just as quickly as they had. Nathan was so good with all of them. Haley crossed her arms over her chest and let out a light laugh when William reached up from Nathan's shoulder and tugged on his hair, causing him to wince.

Nathan reached up and pried the baby's hand out of his hair and readjusted him in his arms so he could no longer reach that part of him. He looked up and saw Haley smiling at him. He returned the gesture and then walked over to her. "Hey," he said softly. They hadn't talked most of the day. Nathan had been introduced to so many members of her family, and he'd been pulled in every direction as Haley's siblings tried to analyze him. Dinner had gone smoothly. It was considerably louder than dinner with Nathan's mom had been, but he found that he liked that. He could definitely understand Haley's desire for a large family.

"Hey," Haley replied, still smiling at him. She watched her nephew reach for his hair again and then let out a small whimper when he could no longer reach it. A moment later, the baby smiled and decided to go for Nathan's face instead. He pinched Nathan's cheek with one hand while the other covered his eye unintentionally. "I think he likes you," Haley said with a small laugh.

Nathan chuckled as he pulled William's hands away from his head once again. "Maybe a little too much," he joked before tickling the baby's tummy gently.

Continuing to watch them, Haley saw William's face light up and heard a tremendous round of giggles escape his tiny mouth. Her smile faltered for a moment but then reemerged.

Nathan didn't miss the display but didn't really have a chance to say anything about it. He felt a small hand tugging on his jeans and looked down to see three of Haley's little nephews standing there. "What's up, guys?" he greeted them.

One of the little boys gave Nathan a goofy grin. "Can we go play basketball now, Uncle Nathan?"

"Yeah, you said we could after dinner," another one spoke up.

Nathan nodded. "Of course," he said. "Let me just find your Aunt Quinn and return this little guy."

"I'll take him," Haley said, holding both her arms out.

"Are you sure?" Nathan asked.

She nodded and gave him a smile, taking her nephew from his arms. "Have fun." She sent him a wink and then looked down at the baby in her arms that just happened to be grinning at her. "You like him, huh?" she said in her best baby voice. Then she kissed the baby's head and smiled. "Me, too."

William was eventually whisked out of Haley's arms; everyone was vying for time with the baby. Haley made her way through the kitchen and into the backyard where Nathan was playing basketball with her three nephews. They were all bundled up tight in their coats for protection from the freezing December air, and they looked absolutely adorable. Nathan had one boy on his shoulders so that he could reach the hoop, and she watched him take turns with all three of them. After a few minutes Haley felt a presence next to her and looked over to see her mother handing her a cup of hot chocolate. "Thanks," she said, taking the drink and sipping it slowly.

"He's a keeper, baby," Lydia said to her daughter, smiling. "He's so good with them, too. You two will make adorable babies one day."

Haley's smile faded. Her parents didn't know that she couldn't have children. Obviously they had found out about the miscarriage, but Haley didn't care for them to know the rest. She felt like that fact was very private and personal, and that's why she hadn't told Brooke or anyone else…except for Nathan. She felt guilty as hell for keeping something so big from her parents, but it was her choice to make. "Yeah," she replied simply, raising the steaming cup to her lips again. Then she turned to face her mom. "How are you feeling, Mom?"

"Oh, I wish everyone would stop asking me that. I feel fine, Haley," Lydia answered.

"Well the accident wasn't that long ago. Everyone's just worried."

Lydia nodded. "I know, sweetie, and I don't blame you. But I really am fine. I'm just glad I could be back here for all of this."

Haley nodded as well. "Me, too."

Both women turned away from each other to watch Nathan again. He said something that neither one of them could make out, and all three boys started cracking up.

Nathan and Haley were planning on staying the night with her parents, and surprisingly they were okay with the two of them sharing a bedroom. They were in Haley's old bedroom, where they had first made love, and Haley simply couldn't go to sleep. Eventually she sighed heavily and sat up in the bed, reaching over to turn the lamp on. "Nathan," she whispered.

Squinting, Nathan sat up as well, stifling a yawn. "Yeah, baby?"

"We need to talk."

"Okay," he replied, a bit taken aback by the seriousness of her voice. When she finally looked at him, the first thing he noticed was the tears overwhelming her eyes. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Haley took a deep breath and bit her lip. "You should be a dad, Nathan," she said in a voice even smaller than a whisper. Before he could say anything she continued. "You should be a dad, and I can't give you that. I can't give you the things that you want."

Nathan shook his head, scooting close to her so he could wrap his arms around her tiny frame. "_You _are everything I want, Haley. You're everything I need. I don't need to be a father."

"But you want to be," she argued quietly, wiping at her eyes. "And you deserve to be. And you deserve to be with someone who can make you a dad someday." She shook her head, her body not at all reciprocating his embrace. "I'm not that person."

"Haley," he whispered, running his thumb over her cheek, helping to dry her tears. "I don't care about having kids. And you know what? I don't want to have kids with anyone but you. I don't want to make love to anyone but you, and I don't want to spend my life with anyone but you. I won't."

She knew he was being sincere; she could tell just by looking into his smoldering eyes. But she still felt guilty about it…the fact that she would never be able to give him children. "It's not fair to you, Nathan," she whispered, leaning her head against the headboard and closing her eyes. "You shouldn't have to sacrifice those kinds of things for me." She opened her eyes and brought a hand up to caress his stubbly cheek. "You were meant to be a father someday."

"And whether the kid looks like me or not, I will be," he answered without hesitation.

"It's not the same," she mumbled with a shake of her head. "You know it isn't."

"No, I don't," he assured her, holding her tighter now. "I don't know that, Hales. All I know is that I love you and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, baby or no baby. I wouldn't have it any other way." He paused when he saw her close her eyes again. "Do you trust me, baby?"

Reopening her eyes, Haley nodded. "Yes, I trust you."

Nathan leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers softly and slowly. "Then don't worry," he whispered against them after pulling away. "It's you and me, no matter what, okay?"

Haley bit her lip for a few seconds and then slowly nodded. "Okay." She brought both her arms up to wrap around his neck, finally returning his hug. She pulled his body in until it melded with her own as she whispered, "I love you."

Nathan held her and closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. "I love you, too, Hales. More than anything or anybody else in this world, okay? We'll be okay." He felt her nod against his shoulder and held her tighter. He knew she needed reassurance; he knew that before she even opened her mouth. And he would always be there to give it to her, no matter what.

* * *

They left her parents' house early to start the two hour drive to Deb's lake house. The car ride was pretty silent, but it was comfortable. Nathan rested one hand on Haley's thigh the entire time. Eventually he turned the radio on, and when he heard Haley begin to hum along with the music he smiled. He really did love her voice.

"Almost there, baby," Nathan announced as they rounded the corner which would lead them directly to the large house. They drove for about another minute before he pulled into the driveway.

"Wow," Haley let out, taking in the breathtakingly beautiful house in front of her. "It's huge."

Nathan laughed and nodded. "Yeah, it's pretty big. The view of the lake is beautiful, too. I can't wait for you to see it." They both undid their seatbelts, and Nathan jumped out to open Haley's door for her. He grabbed all of their luggage from the back and led her to the front door, pushing the key into the lock gently.

Once they were inside, Haley's breath was taken away again. If at all possible, the inside was even more magnificent than the outside. "Your mom still decorates for Christmas even though she doesn't come here?" she questioned, noticing the huge tree in the foyer. It was all lit up. Garland was wound around the railing of the staircase, and she could see the stockings on the fireplace in the living room.

"Actually, no," Nathan admitted, closing the front door. "I came up here a few days ago and did this. I know it's already past Christmas, but I wanted everything to be perfect this weekend. And I know you love the holidays so I figured it couldn't hurt."

Haley smiled at him, throwing her arms around his neck as he still held their luggage. "You are so sweet," she told him, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "Now what room are we staying in?"

Nathan chuckled, readjusting the straps of their bags on his shoulders. "Follow me, baby." He led them up the stairs and past several doors before they made it to the final one. He opened it slowly and let her enter first, biting his lip as if to gauge her reaction. It wasn't much, but he still hoped she would like it.

"Nathan," Haley whispered, glancing around the room in awe. White rose petals were spread all over the hardwood floors and on the bed. Candles were placed sporadically around the room, not lit of course, but still creating a romantic ambiance. There was another small tree in the corner of the room with Christmas lights and decorations on it, and mistletoe hung over the doorway that led into the master bathroom.

Setting their bags down next to the bed, Nathan watched her sashay over to him and wrap her arms around his waist. "Do you like it?" he asked quietly.

Haley smiled and pressed her lips to his, immediately pushing her tongue past his parted lips. She pulled away after a moment and nodded. "I love it," she whispered. "Thank you for doing all of this."

"Of course," he responded, kissing her once more. "Oh, and I'm cooking for you tonight."

"You?" Haley asked skeptically. "You're going to cook for me? Have you ever cooked before, Nathan?"

He rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh. "As a matter of fact, I have…a little bit. Don't worry; it'll be good." He winked at her.

They spent part of the day out by the lake, and just as Nathan had said the view was magnificent. They ate lunch together and sat together by the fire before Nathan banished her to the bedroom so he could make her dinner.

Haley turned on the television in their room and lay comfortably on the bed. She watched TV for almost an hour before she heard an alarm going off. Panicked, she stood up and ran downstairs, entering the large kitchen to see Nathan bent over the oven with a fire extinguisher. She placed a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter, and a few minutes later the ringing noise stopped.

Nathan angrily kicked the oven door shut and dropped the burnt pan onto the stove. "Damn it," he cursed. He didn't even notice Haley until he heard her laughter and turned around. "Yeah, yeah…laugh it up."

Haley continued to laugh for a few seconds, walking over to him. "You know what I'm in the mood for?"

"What?" he questioned.

"Pizza."

Nathan shook his head and let out a chuckle. "Well I'm going to take a shower while you order. I'm kind of…messy," he said, gesturing towards his shirt which was covered in various ingredients.

Haley watched him leave and then grabbed the phone to order their pizza. Then she made her way back to their room, sitting back down on the bed. Not even twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang, and she furrowed her brow. "That was fast," she commented as she stood up. Realizing that she didn't have any money, she stepped into the bathroom and called out to Nathan, "Where's your wallet, babe?"

"In the back pocket of my jeans," he called back from inside the shower. "Hey, feel free to join me anytime," he added as he smirked to himself.

Haley rolled her eyes with a smile. "Yeah, I think I'll pass." She bent down to where he had thrown his jeans on the floor and reached into his back pocket. Finding it empty, she tried the other one and immediately felt his wallet. She pulled it out but not before her eye caught something glimmering from inside the pocket. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she glanced up at the foggy shower stall, and seeing that it was still closed she reached her hand inside the pocket again. When she pulled it back out, she immediately recognized the object. Even though she hadn't seen it in several weeks, she would never forget what that ring looked like or the night Nathan had first offered it to her. Hearing the doorbell again, she pushed the ring into her pocket and made her way downstairs to pay for the pizza.

"You know, I'm deeply hurt that you didn't join me in the shower, Hales," Nathan said as he entered the living room. Haley was sitting on the couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table, where the pizza box also sat.

Haley snapped out of her trance to look up at him. Finally catching what he'd said, she smiled. "I guess you're not irresistible after all," she commented with a small shrug.

Nathan returned her smile. "Now we all know that's not true." He sat down next to her and placed the pizza box in both their laps, eagerly opening it up to begin his dinner. Before he did, though, he turned to face his girlfriend. "I'm sorry about dinner. I wanted it to be special for you, but clearly cooking is not my strong suit."

Her smile softened as she reached up to run a hand through his freshly washed hair. "Don't worry about it. This is special just because I'm with you. And you know I can never resist a good pizza." She quirked an eyebrow at him.

They ate, and despite his initial reaction Nathan felt like it was special, too. Spending time with Haley without any distractions was proving to be a wonderful thing, and it was only the first night of their weekend. They cleaned up the kitchen together after dinner and then each took a seat on the couch again.

Nathan placed a hand on Haley's thigh. "So, I know we said we wouldn't do this, but…I kind of got you something."

Haley's mouth dropped open. "Nathan! We said no gifts."

"I know, baby, but it really isn't even that big of a deal," he replied. "I just really wanted to do something for you."

Letting out a dramatic sigh, Haley held her hands out. "Alright, give it to me."

Nathan smiled and stood up from the couch, walking over to the desk that sat on one side of the fireplace. He opened one of the side drawers and pulled out a black velvet box, returning to his spot on the couch and holding it out to her.

Haley eyed it suspiciously and took it from him, gasping when she opened it. "Nathan," she whispered, pulling the necklace out of its confines. The pendant was a beautiful white gold heart with diamonds adorning one side. "It's beautiful."

"Turn it over," he said, still watching her face to see if she really liked it.

Haley did as she was told and found herself tearing up when she saw what was engraved on the back of the necklace. Nathan's initials were on one side, and hers were printed neatly on the other. "Baby, I love it," she told him genuinely, throwing her arms around his neck. She kissed him passionately, still holding her Christmas present in one hand.

"Really?" he asked, double-checking once she'd pulled away.

She smiled widely and nodded. "It's perfect. Put it on me." She held it out to him and waited until he took it to turn around so that her back was facing him. She swept her hair up in one hand so that he could put the necklace on her more easily.

Nathan smiled and unclasped the necklace, reaching around to put it on her. Once he had it around her neck, he refastened it and then scooted forward until his chest was pressed against her back. He moved all of her hair to one side and placed a gentle, sweet kiss on the side of her neck. He continued kissing down her neck until he reached her shoulder, slowly pulling her shirt away so he could kiss her there as well.

Haley's eyes fell closed, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Nathan," she whispered after a moment. "I have something for you, too."

"Oh, so I'm not the only one who broke the rules?" he joked, reluctantly pulling his lips away from her skin. He watched her turn around so she was facing him again and smiled when he saw the necklace shimmering against her creamy skin. "It looks beautiful on you, Hales."

She smiled softly as she caressed his cheek. "Thank you for this, Nathan. It really is perfect." She leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"So what'd you get me?" he asked eagerly once she had pulled away.

"Don't get too excited," she mumbled. Biting her lip, she told him to close his eyes.

Nathan complied, waiting patiently for her to tell him he could open his eyes. He wasn't waiting long.

"Open your eyes," Haley whispered a few seconds later.

Nathan's eyes opened almost instantly, and confusion marred his features just as quickly. "That's…that's the engagement ring I got for you," he mumbled obviously. "Why…why do you have it?"

Haley was nervously moving the ring between her index finger and thumb as she watched his face. "I found it in your jeans earlier."

"And now you're…giving it back to me?" he asked, confused.

She shook her head, leaning in closer to him and placing her free hand on his knee. "Yes," she whispered.

"Yes what?"

"I want to be your wife, Nathan," she replied, again in a whisper. "I want to have a life with you. I know I said I wasn't ready and that someday I would be, but I am ready, Nathan. Today is someday."

Nathan's mouth fell open, and then he licked his lips. "Are you serious?"

Haley bit her lip and nodded. "I am…so serious," she told him quietly. "I love you, and I don't want to wait anymore. I want you to be my husband, Nathan. I want that more than anything."

He still couldn't believe it. He felt like he was dreaming. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered with a small, nervous laugh.

"Really?" he asked again, the corners of his lips beginning to turn up into a smile.

"Really," she replied with a nod. "Now put this damn ring on me before I lose my mind." She held it out to him.

Nathan was now fully grinning as he took the ring from her. He took her left hand in his and slid it onto her ring finger. "I can't believe this," he whispered, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. "I love you so much."

She smiled. "Believe it, baby." She pushed her lips onto his, and they kissed fervently for several minutes. It wasn't long before Haley was lying underneath him as he hovered over her on the couch. She gently pushed him away and watched him stare at her confusedly. "Let's get in the hot tub."

Nathan smirked, eagerly climbing off of her now.

Haley and Nathan both went to change, the former not surprisingly taking longer. When she made it out onto the deck, Nathan was already in the hot tub waiting for her. She sauntered over to him and stepped in, lowering herself into the hot water.

Nathan watched her every move, his eyes devouring her in the black string bikini she wore. His trunks were already tightening.

Haley sat back against the tiled wall of the hot tub, eyeing her man with a sexy grin on her face.

Her breasts were still visible above the water, and Nathan couldn't peel his eyes away from them. The bikini she wore definitely did a wonderful job of propping them up, and all he wanted to do was tear the material away so he could taste her. After a moment, though, he was able to move his eyes up to her face. God, the way she was biting her lip was so sexy. He could see her necklace shining in the moonlight, and it brought a genuine smile to his face. Then he looked to her left hand, and seeing her engagement ring sparkling on her hand made him feel completely warm inside. He still couldn't believe that they were engaged.

Not being able to hold herself back from her sexy ass man anymore, Haley moved across the hot tub until she was directly in front of him. He was sitting down in one of the seats, and she brought her legs up to straddle his hips, surprised at how hard he already was. "Hey, fiancé," she whispered, rubbing her nose against his.

Nathan let out a small groan as he looked into her eyes. He brought both of his hands up to cup her face. "That sounds so good," he replied huskily. "You have no idea how happy you've made me tonight, Hales."

"Oh, I think I do," she retorted with a smirk as she rubbed herself against his ever-hardening erection.

Closing his eyes at the sensation, Nathan smiled. "I guess maybe you do." He took one of her hands in his and placed it over his heart, his eyes meeting hers again. "Seriously though…my heart is so completely filled with love and joy right now because of you."

Tearing up a little at his incredibly sweet words, Haley leaned forward to finally bring her lips to his. Her hands rested on his neck now, and she slowly pushed her tongue in between his lips in search of his own. Once together, they melted together hotly, and Haley found herself reaching for the drawstrings on Nathan's shorts. She tugged at them gently until they came undone and then eased her hips off of his so she could pull his shorts off. She pulled them from the water and threw them onto the deck, never once disconnecting her lips from his.

This time felt so different for Nathan than any other time they had made love. He felt like she was completely his, and he was completely hers. They were going to spend the rest of their lives together, no doubt about it. She wanted him, and he sure as hell wanted her. Moving his hands to the ties on her bikini, he succeeded in removing her top and allowed it to join his trunks on the deck. He opened his eyes to take in her naked breasts in front of him, and not even a second later his head moved forward and his lips were moving over them.

Haley's head fell back, and her grip on his shoulders tightened. A loud moan escaped her throat as one of Nathan's hands came up to ravage the neglected breast. "Baby, that feels so good," she whispered a second later. The feel of Nathan's hard cock pressing against her center through her bikini bottoms had her incredibly wet, and she couldn't wait for him to be inside of her. "Nathan, I need you."

Pulling his head away from her chest, he shook his head. "We should go slow, baby."

She bit her lip, shaking her head as well. "No, I need you now. We've got all night." She took the lobe of his ear into her mouth and nibbled it gently. "Right now, I need you to take me," she whispered.

Letting out a harsh groan, Nathan nodded wordlessly, untying the strings of her bottoms. He threw them over his shoulder and almost immediately felt her heat surround his member as she sunk down on him.

Haley buried her head in his neck, simply sitting on him as she reveled in the feel of having him inside of her again. They'd spent the last two nights at either Deb's or Haley's parents' house, and because of that it had been almost seventy-two hours since they had made love. It felt like forever though, and being with Nathan again was like coming home. Lifting her head slightly, she left hot, open-mouthed kisses all over his neck and shoulder. She continued to do so as she slowly lifted herself off of him and then just as slowly plunged back down onto his shaft.

Nathan's hands were on her breasts, and his eyes were closed as he let the sensations of being joined so intimately with Haley wash over him. "Haley," he moaned loudly as she moved off of him again. He let out a deep grunt when she fell back down, and his hands moved to her back and continued down until they found her ass. He gave it a gentle squeeze as he thrust up lightly with his hips.

"You feel so good," Haley whispered, her breath hot against his ear. She continued to move on him just as slowly, hoping to savor the moment for as long as possible. "You're so perfect for me," she continued to whisper against him. Feeling the tip of him hit a particularly sweet spot, she let out a long moan before continuing to speak to him. "I want everything with you, and I can't wait to be your wife."

Nathan placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her head away from his ear so he could kiss her soundly on the mouth. When he pulled away, his eyes remained locked on hers. "I-" Having to stop after feeling her sink back down onto him, a bit harder this time, his eyes closed and he groaned deeply. Once he had gained some semblance of control, he reopened his eyes to see her staring at him intently. "I've never felt anything like this," he whispered with his forehead pressed against hers. "Being inside you…nothing's ever felt this good before, baby. And I cannot wait to call you my wife and to be your husband so that I can make love to you just like this every day for the rest of our lives."

Haley let out a moan at the thought and fused her lips with his once more, finally speeding up her movements on him. She continued to move up and down for several more seconds before tearing her lips away from his. She bit into his shoulder as she felt herself beginning to unravel. "Nathan…Nathan, I'm almost there," she breathed.

"Let go, baby," he whispered into her ear and immediately felt her do so. Her back arched, pressing her chest into his, and she let out a loud moan before practically screaming his name. Nathan's head flew back against the wall of the hot tub as he felt her internal muscles fluttering around his shaft, and he let go, too. Her name fell from his lips over and over again as he came down from his high, and Haley's hold on him never loosened; he was glad for it.

The night almost seemed like it was too good to be true for Nathan, but he knew it wasn't. He knew that it was real because there was no way he could feel something so utterly amazing in a dream. Still, he wrapped his arms around his fiancée and didn't plan to let go for anything. Christmas was Haley's favorite holiday, and now it was Nathan's, too.


	16. Chapter 16

**This is kind of a short chapter, and it's...I don't know. Let me know what you think with this one because I'm not really sure. It was planned, but I'm not sure it came out the way I wanted it to. Thank you for all the reviews for the last couple of chapters! I can't get enough of reading your responses to my work. Please enjoy, and be brutally honest. Thanks!**

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Nathan and Haley's weekend together passed by quickly, and so did the rest of Christmas break. Lucas and Nathan both had to get back for basketball, and time seemed to pick up along with the new semester. It was everyone's last semester of college, and for the most part their schedules weren't too stressful. Haley and Brooke ended up spending less time with their guys though. Basketball was getting busier and busier, and both Lucas and Nathan were putting in extra time so that more scouts would notice them on the court. Nathan was still pissed at Lucas, but he was starting to let up. He'd actually smiled and given his brother a hug after telling him about his and Haley's engagement. Lucas had been happy for the both of them. Brooke was a whole other story. The piercing scream that came from her as soon as Haley announced that she had finally accepted Nathan's proposal was almost deafening. She briefly hugged her best friend before whipping out her sketchpad so she could continue working on Haley's wedding dress. It was amusing, really. And Haley just hoped that whatever dress Brooke was designing was beautiful because she wasn't sure she'd have the heart to tell her no.

The wedding definitely wasn't happening before graduation and maybe not even for a while after that. Haley and Nathan had both agreed that with school and basketball and everything else going on, it was just best to wait. Other than the ring on Haley's finger and the promise that they would be together forever, their relationship really didn't change much. They didn't spend very many nights together now, though, because Nathan was always putting in so much work for basketball. By the time he was done with that and his homework, it was far too late to go over to Haley's. But she understood; he was pursuing his dream, and he had to do what he had to do. She was proud of him for that.

Haley's parents hadn't been at all shocked to find out that the couple was engaged. Her siblings, however, had flipped out. Each and every one of them had called the baby of the family to confirm it, and Haley swore she'd spent at least twenty-four hours explaining everything when it was all over with. They couldn't all just conference call so she could explain it once; that would be too much work.

Haley and Brooke, along with Peyton, made it to as many home games as they could. That's where Haley was headed now. She was already late because of a paper she was supposed to have finished the night before and didn't get done. She'd been in a mad dash to complete it and get it on her professor's desk in time. Now she was totally prepared to go watch Nathan do his thing and cheer for him. But on the way to her seat, she stopped abruptly and turned around, literally running to the closest bathroom so she could throw up. It had been happening for weeks now, and it no longer surprised her. She knew to be prepared for it no matter where she was, whether it be during a three-hour class or on the way to watch her fiancé play basketball. Her nausea didn't care where she was or what she was doing; it was ever-present. Her period, however, was nonexistent. She hadn't had it in two months.

She wasn't naïve enough to not have pregnancy pop into her mind. She knew the symptoms, and she'd experienced them all before. But things were different this time. She knew she wasn't pregnant; she couldn't be. And even if she was, she didn't want to find out about it and then lose her child the way she had before. She honestly wasn't sure she could handle it. It would be even harder knowing that Nathan's child would die, too…not just hers.

So she'd kept her distance from the doctor. She was scared, and she would admit it if anyone asked her. She just wanted things to stay good between her and Nathan for as long as possible. She hadn't told him anything about the way she'd been feeling, but she knew she'd have to talk to him soon. It was becoming quite obvious that she wasn't eating and, instead, was throwing up all the time. Brooke had questioned her about it, but Haley just shrugged it off and told her it must be some kind of bug. Truthfully, she wished she could discuss it with Brooke, but she knew she couldn't. If she did, she'd end up telling her about the rape and the miscarriage, and she simply wasn't ready for that. She kind of only wanted Nathan to know about that and no one else, apart from her family, of course. It made her feel closer to him, and she knew she could trust him with the information. He knew how private that part of her past was.

Haley wiped her mouth and crawled off of the floor before making her way out of the stall and over to the sinks. She was glad she was the only one in the bathroom right now. Most people were watching the game. She could hear that it had already begun. Opening her purse, Haley removed the toothpaste and toothbrush that she now kept with her. She had learned to do it a few weeks ago, and she was glad for it. There was no way she could sit through Nathan's entire basketball game with that disgusting taste in her mouth. She squeezed some of the paste onto her toothbrush and began brushing furiously, as she did every time. The number of brushes per day was steadily rising for her.

Once she was done brushing, Haley put everything back in her purse and looked at herself in the mirror. She had noticed the changes in her body…the same subtle changes she had noticed the first time. But, as with everything else, she convinced herself that she'd just put on a few pounds. It really wasn't logical, though, because she hadn't been eating. She was always hungry, and now was no exception. As she left the restroom, she contemplated getting something to eat but knew it would only end with her back in front of the toilet. At that thought, her stomach churned, but she continued walking and eventually made it to her seat in between Brooke and Peyton.

"Hey, you okay?" Brooke asked.

Peyton turned to face her friend and furrowed her brow as well. "Yeah, you look a little pale, Hales."

Haley smiled and shook her head. "I'm fine. Let's just watch the game."

Both of her friends nodded, but Brooke wasn't buying it for one second. Haley had been acting strange for a while…pretty much ever since she got back from the lake house with Nathan. If it was a good strange, she would have pinned it on the engagement, but it was definitely not good. A pale Haley and one that now carried around a toothbrush and toothpaste in her stylish purse was not a good sign. She'd done a little snooping, but it was all in Haley's best interest. Brooke made a mental note to talk to her about it after the game. If she couldn't get any answers that way, she'd just have to talk to Nathan. Maybe he knew what was up.

The game went well, and the Blue Devils ended up on top. Haley cheered for Nathan just as she always did, but it was obvious to her friends that she was a little less enthusiastic than normal. She'd also excused herself to pee twice, and that was just weird. The game wasn't all that long.

The three girls walked out together, and Brooke eyed Haley carefully. "Hey, do you guys want to go grab a bite to eat?"

"Sure," Peyton agreed.

Haley shook her head immediately. "Um, I'm not really hungry. You guys go ahead."

"You could still come," Brooke suggested.

Haley knew the answer to that was a no as well. Just the smell of food would sometimes trigger a negative reaction from her stomach. She shook her head again and gave her friends a quick smile. "No, that's okay. You guys go; have fun. I've got some homework to catch up on anyways." Before they could protest, she crossed the street and began walking back to the dorms. She knew she probably wouldn't see Nathan tonight. Game nights were usually pretty busy, and if she did see him it wouldn't be until later.

When she got back to the dorm room, Haley lay down and was immediately asleep. When what felt like only five minutes had passed, she heard her cell phone go off and sat up abruptly. It took her a moment to place the noise, and once she had she reached for her phone and flipped it open. "Hello?" she answered groggily.

"Hales? Were you asleep?" Nathan asked.

"Um…yeah, I was," she replied, stifling a yawn. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand.

Nathan furrowed his brow. "It's only nine o'clock, babe."

"Yeah, I know," she replied casually. "It was just a really long day. I was at the game though."

"I know. I saw you."

"You did great, by the way," she complimented him. "You looked pretty good, too."

Nathan laughed. "Thanks. So do you want to hang out? We could go grab something to eat," he suggested.

"Oh, I'm not really hungry. But I'll go with you if you want me to."

"You realize you said that exact same thing at lunch today, right?" Nathan told her. He was beginning to get a little concerned. She'd been doing this for days and dodging his questions about it afterwards. Apparently she was doing the same thing with Brooke. "And at breakfast," he reminded her.

Haley let out a sigh. "I ate earlier, okay? I promise. Now get over here."

Nathan bit his lip, deciding that he could talk to her when he got there if need be. "Alright, I'll be there soon. I love you."

"Love you, too. Bye." Haley closed her phone and set it down on her nightstand, closing her eyes again.

Nathan picked up food to bring to Haley's, and even though she'd said she wasn't hungry he got something for her, too. He knew she'd probably refuse it, but he wanted to try. It wasn't healthy for her to be skipping meals. He knocked on her dorm room door and then repeated the action when he got no reply. He knocked a third time, this time louder, and still got nothing. He turned the knob and walked in, seeing Haley asleep under the covers. He smiled softly and set the bag of food down on her desk, but his smile quickly disappeared when he noticed that she was sweating. In two strides he was beside her bed, and he took a seat on the edge of it, placing the back of his hand on her forehead. She was burning up.

"Hales," he said, trying to wake her. "Haley." He shook her shoulder and still got no response. "Hales, baby." He was speaking louder now, but she still wasn't waking up. He tried for what felt like hours to get her to wake up, but she simply wouldn't. So he leaped across the room to his phone and called an ambulance. He didn't know what else to do.

His hunger was long forgotten as he rode to the hospital with his fiancée. God, he was so worried about her. She'd been acting strangely for weeks, and now he knew that it wasn't just because of some bug going around like she'd said. He should have taken her to the doctor sooner; he should have gotten her help. He sent texts to both Brooke and Lucas on the way there. They were frantic, and he wasn't even sure they'd be able to read them, but he had to try.

He sat in the waiting room for a long time, and just as he began to get antsy the doctor he'd seen go in with Haley came out and greeted him. "You're Haley James's fiancé, correct?"

Nathan stood up and shook the man's hand. "Yes. What's going on? Is she okay?"

"Slow down, son," the older man replied. He looked over the information he had quickly jotted down about his newest patient and then locked eyes with Nathan. "Mr. Scott, has Haley ever been pregnant before?"

Furrowing his brow, Nathan nodded. "Yeah, like two and a half years ago. She lost the baby though."

Brooke and Lucas were both sitting behind Nathan and could hear everything. They shared a confused and concerned look.

The doctor nodded as if he had expected that history with Haley. "Well it's not looking promising this time either, son. I'm sorry," he told Nathan.

Now he was even more confused. "Wait, what are you talking about? This time?"

"You didn't know?" the doctor asked.

"Didn't know what?"

"Haley is pregnant. I…assumed you knew since she's about ten weeks into the pregnancy."

Nathan was pretty sure his jaw dropped at that. He couldn't see, but Brooke and Lucas's both had as well. "What? She's…she's pregnant? She can't be pregnant," Nathan argued. "When she lost the last one, they said she couldn't have children."

"Mr. Scott, I can see why they would tell her that," the doctor replied with a shake of his head. "Her body is very weak, and I assume that's why she lost the last baby. Her uterus, specifically, is not as strong as it should be."

Nathan shook his head, thinking back to what the doctor had said earlier. "You said it's not looking promising. What does that mean? Did she lose the baby?"

"No. And maybe she won't, but we can't say for sure. If she doesn't lose the babies, it's still unlikely that she'll go full term. It's not going to be your typical pregnancy. And before you ask me…yes, I did say babies."

This was too much information to process at once. Nathan shook his head again. "Babies…as in…more than one? Twins?"

The doctor nodded his head in affirmation. "Look, Mr. Scott…I'll explain more, but I'd like to wait until Haley is awake to do that. Do you mind?"

"No, of course not. When do you think that'll be?"

"It shouldn't be long, son. A couple of hours, maybe. It may not be until morning. We can't say for sure. But she'll be okay. Just focus on that."

Nathan thanked the doctor and stood for a few more minutes, staring at the floor, before he sat back down. Lucas and Brooke were both confused as hell, probably more so than Nathan, but both knew that now was not the time for questions. Nathan did not look like he was equipped to handle much more.

A few minutes later, a nurse came out and told Nathan he could go sit with Haley if he wanted to. He got up quickly, forgetting to even say anything to Lucas and Brooke, and followed the nurse through the halls until they made it to Haley's private room. He thanked her and walked slowly into the room, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. She looked uncomfortable. Her face wasn't peaceful like it usually was when she was asleep. He took her hand in both of his and bit his lip as tears welled up in his eyes. So much had happened in the past few hours, and he had learned so much. As he glanced down at Haley's stomach, he began thinking more about it. Did she even know she was pregnant? And if she did, why didn't she tell him? She had to have known, right? He'd heard that girls missed their periods when they were pregnant, so surely she had caught on if she was ten weeks along. Throw in the fact that they hadn't once used a condom, and it was a given.

He was in shock though. How could she even be pregnant? That wasn't supposed to happen, ever. And if it did, it was supposed to be a happy and joyous time in their lives. Not this. What if he hadn't found her in her dorm room? What if he'd just hung out with the guys, and Brooke had gone out to party or something? He wondered if she would have been okay…if their babies would have been okay. Babies…twins…it was all swirling around his head, and he had no idea what to make of any of it. But he was thankful that Haley was okay. He felt her head, and her temperature seemed to have dropped to a much better number. She was breathing normally, too. It had been awfully shallow when he'd found her earlier. That was probably what had freaked him out the most because at first, he'd thought she wasn't breathing at all. He didn't know what he would do.

Nathan lay his head down on the bed beside their joined hands and closed his eyes. He didn't know what to do, but he wanted her to wake up, and he wanted the time to go by faster so he could see her open her eyes. Before he knew it he was out like a light.

He slept for a pretty long time and didn't wake up until morning. When he looked at the clock it was just past seven. He sat up in the chair but still held Haley's hand. He hadn't let go of it for a second. He squeezed it between his two larger hands before removing one to push a stray lock of hair behind his fiancée's ear. "I love you," he whispered, leaving a long kiss on her temple.

"I love you, too," he heard a few minutes later. His head snapped up. He had laid it down again, but now he was fully alert. Haley was awake and looking at him confusedly. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, closing his eyes tight. "Nathan, what happened?" she asked, her brow still creased.

Nathan moved back so he could look at her but still held on to her hand. "You passed out last night," he explained quietly. "I came over, and you wouldn't wake up, and you had a really bad fever. I was so scared, Hales." His voice had lowered to a whisper.

Haley looked around the room, still a bit confused. She remembered going back to her dorm room after the game, and she vaguely remembered talking to Nathan on the phone. After that everything was blank, so she figured that must have been when it happened.

"Baby," he whispered to get her attention. Once she was looking at him he asked the question he'd been dying to ask all night but hadn't been able to. "Did you know you were pregnant?"

Haley's eyes widened a bit at that, and she sat up a little in the bed. "I'm pregnant?"

Nathan nodded. "You didn't know?"

She released a long sigh and closed her eyes. "It crossed my mind. I mean, I…I felt like I was, but I knew that couldn't happen. So I kind of just pushed those thoughts aside." She opened her eyes. "I'm pregnant?"

He nodded again. "You're pregnant."

"Is everything okay? What happened? Did I lose the baby?" she asked. She already expected the answers to be negative ones. Something had to have happened. You don't just wake up in the hospital to find that everything's alright.

Nathan shook his head. "They said you were really weak, but the doctor said he'll explain more once you're awake." He paused and then corrected her with a small smile. "Babies."

"What?" She looked at him, once again confused.

Nathan pulled his hand away from hers and carefully placed it over her stomach. "There are two babies in there, Hales." He still held her hand with his other one and brought it up to his lips, placing a kiss on her palm. "We made two babies."

She didn't even say anything after that. It was shocking, but she also wasn't sure she believed everything Nathan was telling her. How could she not have lost them? She had to be pretty far along, and she had lost her last baby at fourteen weeks. So she didn't say anything. Nathan looked happy, at least in part, and she didn't want to ruin that for him. A part of Haley found joy in the fact that she and Nathan had created two lives together, but she also knew that the odds of her actually giving birth to those babies weren't good. She didn't want to get her hopes up.

Nathan wasn't quite sure what to make of her silence, so he just met it with his own. A few minutes later he called the nurse in, and she told them the doctor would be in in a few minutes to talk to them.

Sure enough, after about twenty more minutes of silence, the door was opened and the doctor stepped in. He walked to the side of Haley's bed that Nathan wasn't sitting on, clipboard in hand. "Haley, how are you feeling?"

"I feel fine," she replied. "I just want to know what's going on."

The doctor nodded in understanding. "Well, Haley…I understand that you've had a miscarriage before. And it's clear to me why that happened. Your uterus is not very strong, and I'm not sure it's equipped to carry one baby, much less two, full term. And apart from that, the rest of your body isn't very strong."

"Why did she pass out?" Nathan asked.

"You were severely dehydrated, Haley," the doctor answered him but was looking at his patient. "Have you been eating and drinking properly?"

"No," Nathan answered for her.

Haley let out a short sigh. "I haven't, I guess. Every time I eat, I throw up, so I've kind of been avoiding it. I didn't know I was pregnant."

"I understand that, but now you do."

"And how long do you think I'll be pregnant this time?" Haley mumbled, dreading the answer.

The doctor tapped his clipboard against his leg a few times. "Haley, with the right care and proper nutrients there is no reason to believe you can't deliver two healthy babies. I'll admit that there are some risks, but it can be done."

"Risks? What kind of risks?" Nathan asked, squeezing Haley's hand.

"Well the bigger the babies get, the more strain that's going to put on you, Haley," the professional replied. "And I can't guarantee that even if you carry these babies full term, there won't be repercussions for you. Giving birth to twins when you're already not equipped to do so is very stressful, but it has been done. There is a chance, though, that even if the babies are strong enough to make it…you might not be."

Nathan stood up, letting go of Haley's hand in the process. "What do you mean, she might not be? What does that mean?"

The doctor took a deep breath. "It means, Mr. Scott, that the birthing process could take so much out of her that she doesn't wake up afterwards."

"Well then we can't do that," Nathan responded.

"I know it's a lot to think about, and I sympathize with that. If you both feel like it's too big of a risk, you can still terminate the pregnancy."

"No," Haley spoke up. "We're not doing that."

"Hales-"

"We're not doing it," she said forcefully.

"I'll leave you two alone to discuss it," the doctor said. "If you do decide to continue on with the pregnancy, we'll need to discuss the proper supplements. You'll need help with this if you decide to have these babies. And bed rest would have to begin almost immediately." He made his way to the door and left the couple alone.

Nathan sat down again and ran his hands over his face. "Haley-"

She interrupted him again. "I'm not killing my babies, Nathan."

"Hales, we need to talk about this," he pleaded, taking her hand in his again.

"There's nothing to talk about, Nathan. These are our children. Do you get that?"

Nathan leaned forward to caress her cheek with one hand. His eyes were full of tears again. "I _can't _lose you, Haley. I can't."

"You're not going to," she whispered. "But, Nathan…if that's the chance that I have to take, then I'm going to do it. These are our babies, and I'm not going to take away their chance at life. I won't do it."

"I can't lose you," he repeated, now resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. "I can't lose you. You're everything to me."

Haley closed her eyes and placed her hand over his that was resting on her cheek. She slowly opened her eyes and brought his hand down to her stomach. She pressed his hand firmly into her flesh. "Nathan, I'm pregnant," she whispered. "We made these babies together. They're you and me, and you can't feel okay about taking their lives away." She watched him open his eyes and gave him a small, reassuring smile. "I know you better than I know myself, and I know that you love these babies." She smiled wider as a few tears slid down her cheeks. "A son with your eyes and a daughter you can spoil. We can have that. We can have our family."

Nathan pressed his forehead more into hers. "But if you leave me-"

"I won't," she assured him. "Okay? I'm not going anywhere. I will always be with you, no matter what happens. I'll be right here," she told him, placing a hand over his heart.

He closed his eyes again. "What do we do now?" he whispered.

She shook her head against his, slowly beginning to caress his cheek. "I don't know."

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The next day went by incredibly fast. Nathan and Haley discussed their decision with the doctor, and he explained every precaution Haley should take in detail. He told her what supplements he was prescribing and urged her to begin bed rest as soon as possible. They set up an appointment for her next sonogram, and Nathan asked countless questions about what he should do for Haley. He asked what she should be eating, what she should be doing, how much she should be sleeping…it was exhausting but comforting at the same time.

Haley was released, and she convinced Nathan to take her to her parents' house after they picked up some of her stuff. She said she would be more comfortable in her old bed than in the tiny one in her dorm room, and she wanted to do everything right. Nathan agreed with her. Her parents really didn't live all that far away anyways. They had yet to discuss what was going to happen with school in relation to the whole bed rest situation. The two ideas didn't really mesh, and the semester had just started, so they had a lot to talk about. But right now, the priority was getting Haley settled and starting her on her supplements. Everything else could wait. Once she had rested for a bit, all the big conversations could take place.

Haley called her parents while Nathan packed her things, and she told them she'd be staying with them for a while but that she'd explain everything when she got there. Jimmy and Lydia could both immediately tell something was seriously wrong with their youngest daughter but decided to trust her and wait until she arrived to pry.

For the duration of the drive to her parents' house, Haley stared out the window. Eventually Nathan reached over and encased her hand in his own. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but he wasn't sure how it really came out. So much had changed in the last twenty-four hours, and neither had really even begun to process it yet. They didn't even know how to go about it.

But nothing else mattered except for the two lives growing inside of Haley; she was sure of that. She was surer of that than she had ever been sure of anything in her entire life. She and Nathan were going to have their family, and if they had to do it the hard way then so be it.

She could handle it. And if she couldn't, she knew Nathan would be okay. He was going to be a great father, with or without her.


	17. Chapter 17

**So I was really eager to get this chapter written, and I had a lot of fun writing it and figured what the hell? I should have some time to write tomorrow and Saturday so expect something somewhere around there. I love your guys' reviews, especially the ones that make me laugh! Enjoy!**

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He watched from across the room as she slept, and he just couldn't get it out of his head. _"It means, Mr. Scott, that the birthing process could take so much out of her that she doesn't wake up afterwards." _What was he supposed to say to that? Did they all just expect him to receive that information with open arms? His fiancée could die. Haley could die, and he was not okay with taking that risk. He knew that their children were growing inside of her, and of course he didn't want to see their lives end before they'd even had the chance to begin. But Haley was his entire world, and their relationship deserved more time than one semester of college.

And how was he supposed to be a father without her by his side? What if the babies made it and she didn't? He couldn't do it without her; he knew he couldn't. He was only twenty-two, for God's sake. He didn't have all the answers to life's questions, and he sure as hell wasn't prepared to be a single father. Those babies needed their mom, too. They needed Haley.

She was a good person…the best person he knew. She had a big heart, and she chose to see the good in people even when it might not be there at all. After everything she went through with the rape and the miscarriage, she still found a way to be a good, forgiving person. She forgave Nathan when he screwed up in their relationship…with the bet and all of the rest of it. Even when he didn't deserve it, she was there for him and she encouraged him to follow his dreams. She genuinely wanted him to have the best of everything and have whatever he wanted, and he couldn't live without that stability in his life. Haley was his rock, and she had been since the moment he laid eyes on her, even if he hadn't realized it then. He loved her. He was in love with her, and losing her was not an option.

But she wouldn't budge. She was adamant in her decision not to terminate the pregnancy. Nathan understood fully where she was coming from. He had already grown to love those two children inside of her, even after only having known about them for seventy-two hours. The thought that he and Haley had created two beings out of their love for each other was amazing, and the feeling he got from that knowledge was indescribable. But none of that changed the fact that he could lose the love of his life because of those babies. And that trumped all the exciting feelings he had at the idea of being a father. Losing Haley was unacceptable, and he wasn't okay with her decision. He wasn't going to just give in and believe that everything was going to be okay. It wasn't. The odds of both Haley and the babies surviving the birth were slim to none. He couldn't lose her. He refused to do it.

He and Haley had barely spoken since the night he brought her to her parents' house. Lydia and Jimmy had both been incredibly supportive, and Haley hadn't kept a single thing from them about the pregnancy. They agreed to let Nathan stay with her as well, and when they weren't able to be there he would be to take care of her. Nathan had been driving back and forth for basketball and classes, but even when he was there he'd either lie next to Haley silently or watch her sleep from across the room. He was trying to figure out how to talk to her about all of it. He didn't want to start any arguments, but he wasn't just going to let her risk her life like that. It wasn't right.

Finding Haley in her bed the other night, barely breathing, had been a big enough scare for him. The thought of never seeing or speaking to her again was unfathomable. But then the doctor had come out and told him that he was going to be a dad. It was all shocking, but that piece of news really took the cake. Although he had thought often about having a family with Haley and they had talked about it before, he never thought it would be possible. And if it was, he definitely hadn't expected it while they were still in college. They'd just gotten engaged; it was supposed to be a happy, carefree time. And it wasn't.

Nathan wanted to be the father of Haley's children. He wanted her to be the mother of his. But none of that mattered if she wasn't there to share the experience with him. None of it meant anything. And if the lives inside of her meant losing her forever, he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to risk it. Maybe that made him a bad person, but it's how he felt. He couldn't control his emotions, especially lately, and with each day that he kept these things bottled up inside him the feelings got stronger.

He had allowed himself to feel excited about the babies and the prospect of being a father up to a certain point. _"I'll admit that there are some risks, but it can be done." _That was the moment Nathan had really started to worry. Risks were never good, especially life-threatening ones.

Shaking his head and letting out a deep sigh, Nathan stood up from the chair he had been watching her from. He knew he had to talk to her soon, but right now she needed to rest. He crossed the room to her bedside and bent down to leave a soft kiss on her forehead. "I love you, baby," he whispered before standing up straight again. He grabbed his duffel bag from the floor and tossed it over his shoulder. The team was heading out, and it couldn't have come at a worse time. It was only for three days, but he didn't want to leave her. He had planned to stay, but Haley convinced him to go. She had both of her parents there watching over her, and her siblings had been coming to visit as well. She assured him she would be fine, and he promised to call every chance he got. He knew he wouldn't stop worrying the entire time. He would probably be a waste in the games anyways, but it was his career. Haley had encouraged him to follow his dreams, and that's what he was doing.

Nathan trekked down the stairs and found Lydia and Jimmy in the kitchen. When they noticed him they both stopped talking and gave him their undivided attention. "Hey," Nathan greeted them quietly. He hadn't talked to Haley's parents much either. His relationship with them was pretty neutral, and they hadn't really discussed anything serious together. "I'm about the head out. The bus leaves in an hour."

Jimmy nodded and set his coffee cup down. He took a few steps forward so that he was in front of Nathan and extended his hand. As they shook, he said, "Have a safe trip. And…thank you for being here for her."

Nathan nodded in reply. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, sir."

Lydia set her cup down as well and wrapped her arms around her daughter's fiancé. He returned the embrace, and she felt herself involuntarily tear up. The entire situation with Haley was making her incredibly emotional. When she pulled back, she patted Nathan's arm and gave him a watery smile. "We'll take good care of her. You be safe, and try to have some fun. Don't think too much."

Nathan managed a small smile as well as he readjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder. "Alright, I'll see you guys in a few days." He turned and made his way out of the house, and when he got to his car he started the engine and took a deep breath. He had to keep telling himself that he could do this. He could go out of town for basketball, and Haley would be okay without him. He sat in silence for several minutes before he put the vehicle in gear and backed out of the driveway. He could do this.

* * *

"I can do this," Brooke muttered reassuringly to herself. She was standing outside of Haley's bedroom at her parents' house. She hadn't spoken to her best friend in days. She wanted to give her space and time with Nathan and her parents, but now she just had to see her. She had to know how she was doing with everything. It was killing her not to speak to her best friend. With that in mind, she raised her hand and knocked softly on the wood of the door. She heard Haley call for her to come in, and she did so without hesitation.

Brooke shut the door behind her and took a seat on the edge of Haley's bed. Her friend was sitting up against the headboard with a closed book on her lap. "Hey, buddy," Brooke said with a small smile. "How you feeling?"

Haley shrugged and let out a sigh. "I'm honestly fine. I'm just trying to do everything the doctor said to do so we can get through this, you know?"

Brooke nodded and placed a hand on her friend's knee. "Are you scared?"

Finally meeting Brooke's eyes, Haley began to tear up a bit. "Yeah," she admitted quietly. "I'm scared."

"Have you told Nathan that?" Brooke asked.

Haley shook her head, biting her lip to keep from letting any tears fall. "He's just so worried already, Brooke. We've barely even spoken since we came here, and I can tell he isn't telling me everything." She reached up to swipe at a tear that had ruthlessly escaped. "I don't think he wants these babies."

Brooke furrowed her brow, scooting closer to Haley on the bed. "What are you talking about? Why wouldn't he want them?"

Haley shrugged and took a deep breath. "When the doctor said something could happen to me, Nathan freaked out. And he said we couldn't risk it, but I told him that I wasn't going to give up on my kids, you know? And he never really agreed with me that that was a good decision. And since we haven't talked about it since then, I think he's upset with me."

"Tutor Girl, Nathan loves you," Brooke reminded her. "Yeah, he's probably freaking out, but you just need to talk to him. I don't know how he could be upset with you. None of this is your fault."

"But it is," Haley argued. "Nathan and I never used a condom when we had sex because I told him I couldn't have children."

"But that's what you thought at the time, right?"

Haley nodded as a few more tears escaped her eyes. This time, she didn't attempt to wipe them away. "I never thought I would be pregnant again, Brooke. But I wanted to be." She paused. "And I'm sure he thinks it's all my fault. If I had allowed them to terminate the pregnancy, he wouldn't be so worried about me. But I can't do that, Brooke. I can't kill my babies like that."

"I know, sweetie," Brooke replied with a nod. "He's not going to hold that against you, Haley. It's what any mother would do."

"But I'm not a mother," Haley said quietly. She looked down at her hands and began to wring them together. "And what if I never get to be? I could lose these babies, Brooke, and I'm not sure I could handle that. And even if they make it, I probably won't."

Brooke shook her head and took one of Haley's hands in her own, squeezing it reassuringly. "You are the strongest person I know. You are going to have these beautiful babies, and you are going to be okay. You'll get to be a mom."

Haley closed her eyes briefly, silently praying that Brooke was right. She wanted that more than anything. When she reopened her eyes, she met Brooke's and spoke. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was pregnant before…and that I couldn't have kids."

"Water under the bridge," Brooke said with a wave of her hand. "I understand why you didn't."

Haley bit her lip. "There's something else I have to tell you. I might not be ready for it, but you deserve to know. You're my best friend, Brooke."

Brooke smiled and nodded her head. "And you're my best friend, Tutor Girl."

After a few deep breaths, Haley told Brooke what she should have told her a long time ago. "The last time I was pregnant…it was two and half years ago, and I lost the baby. But the reason I got pregnant…I was dating this guy, and he ended up being a really bad guy, you know? And he…raped me." She could hear Brooke audibly gasp, and with a nod she continued. "I was a virgin before that, Brooke. And that night changed me. After that I never really felt like myself, until I met Nathan."

Brooke brought one hand up to cover her mouth and shook her head. "Oh, my God. I'm so sorry." She leaned forward and hugged her friend, feeling like that was the only way she could comfort her. "And here was my stupid ass making comments about you being a prude."

Haley shook her head. "Don't worry about it. You wouldn't be Brooke Davis without those comments." She let out a small laugh.

"So Nathan knows?" Brooke asked a moment later.

"Nathan knows," Haley confirmed with a nod.

Brooke sighed. "You need to talk to him."

Haley nodded again. "I know. I will once he gets back. I don't want to do it over the phone."

"Okay," Brooke replied. For the first time she noticed that the television was on, and she turned around. "What the hell are you watching?"

"Um, Boy Meets World. Have you never watched it?"

"No."

Haley pulled the covers back. "Get in, Brookie. You're going to love this."

* * *

Lucas slid the key card into the door and then walked into the hotel room he was sharing with his brother. Nathan was sprawled out on his bed staring at the ceiling. "Hey, man," Lucas said, taking a seat on his own bed. "That was a rough game. How are you?"

Nathan scoffed. "A rough game? Lucas, I was pathetic. My unborn child could have played better than that." The game really had been awful, Nathan's performance specifically. And the rest of the team hadn't been able to make up for his lack of concentration. It was an embarrassing loss.

Lucas sighed and leaned back on his hands. "You've got a lot going on, little brother. No one expects you to be perfect."

Nathan sat up and looked at his brother. "No, Lucas. They do expect me to be perfect, and I'm tired of it. I can't be who they all want me to be."

"Whoa," Lucas muttered with a shake of his head. "Do you want to talk about it? I know you're dealing with a lot right now, and you're probably worried sick about Haley. I'm here for you."

Nathan moved to the edge of his bed and placed his feet on the floor. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. "I don't want to talk about it, man. I don't want to even think about it." He shook his head and stood up, beginning to pace. "What am I supposed to say to her, huh? 'Please, Haley. Kill our children so that I won't have to lose you.' Because, Lucas…that's exactly how I feel. What kind of a person does that make me, huh?" He sat down again. "The worst part is I don't even care that it makes me a horrible son of a bitch. I just want Haley. I want her to be okay, man. I can't lose her. Not like this."

Lucas was silent for a moment before he spoke. "Nathan, I can't even begin to imagine how much you're hurting right now. And I honestly don't want to. But Haley's a fighter. She's strong willed, and she can make it through this. And man, even if she doesn't…you're going to be a father."

"A _single _father," Nathan mumbled. "I don't want to do that, Lucas. I don't want to raise those babies by myself. I can't." He began shaking his head, and tears formed in his eyes. He swore he'd never cried this much in his entire life.

"Nate, you need to talk to her," Lucas encouraged him. "Tell her how you're feeling."

"She's going to hate me for how I'm feeling. I don't want to make this worse for her."

Lucas shook his head. "She would never hate you, little brother. Look, we get back tomorrow night. Talk to her then." He paused. "Promise me you'll talk to her."

Nathan was silent for several minutes before finally nodding. "I promise."

As Lucas was settling into bed that night, Nathan grabbed his phone off of the nightstand and pushed his key card into his pocket before walking out into the wide hallway of the hotel. He pressed Haley's speed dial and waited patiently for her to pick up.

"Hey," he heard a moment later.

Nathan allowed himself a small smile when he heard her voice. Knowing that she was still okay was a huge relief, but it didn't quell the rest of his worries about the future. "Hey, baby," he replied just as quietly. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she replied, snuggling further under the covers in her bed. "Just bored. I saw the game."

"Yeah, tonight's really sucked ass," Nathan responded.

"You did great, babe."

Nathan sighed heavily and shook his head. "I love you for lying to me, Hales, but I played horribly. I know you don't know much about sports, but I'm sure you could tell that much."

"It's okay," she soothed him quietly. "You'll do better next time. You looked distracted. What were you thinking about?"

Nathan took a seat on the floor of the hallway and leaned against the wall. "You."

Haley closed her eyes briefly and sighed. "I'm sorry, baby."

"No. Don't apologize, Hales. I want to be thinking of you. Are you really okay?"

"I'm really okay," she assured him. "Brooke came by earlier, and we talked. It was nice." She paused. "Speaking of talking, we need to when you get back, Nathan. This phone conversation is the most we've spoken in the last week. We need to discuss some things."

"I know," he replied. "I've been thinking the same thing." Changing the subject, he asked, "Have you been eating?"

Haley let out a small chuckle. "Yes, I've been eating. My mom is force-feeding me almost as well as you did when you were here."

"Good," Nathan said. "Are you still throwing up after?"

With a sigh, Haley answered, "Yeah. I wish I wasn't, but hopefully it'll stop soon. I'm trying."

"I know, baby. Look, I'll let you get some rest, but I'll see you tomorrow night, okay? I love you."

"I love you, too. And I miss you," Haley whispered into the receiver.

Nathan stood up, heading back to his and Lucas's room. "I miss you, too."

* * *

Nathan pulled into the driveway of Haley's parents' house and noticed that both her parents' cars were gone. He furrowed his brow and got out of the car, tossing his bag by the steps once he was inside. He could smell food coming from the kitchen and decided to check it out before he went to see Haley. He strolled into the room and found Haley pulling a dish out of the oven and setting it on the stove. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked, rushing to her side.

Haley closed the oven and removed the oven mitts from her hands, setting them down on the counter. "I'm making dinner for you," she answered obviously.

"Where are your parents?"

Haley reached across him to turn the oven off and then faced him with her hands on her hips. "Mom went to dinner with some friends, and my dad is at a golf tournament." She held her hand up in front of him. "And before you say anything about how they're supposed to be watching me, I told them to go. They shouldn't have to babysit me 24/7, and neither should you. I'm on bed rest, Nathan. Cooking one meal is not going to kill me."

Nathan shook his head. "Don't say things like that, Haley. You need to get in bed." He grabbed her arm.

She pulled her arm away from him and took a few steps back. "I'm not getting back in bed until I eat. Today is the first day in a long time that I haven't been nauseous, and I intend to take full advantage of that." She grabbed a plate off of the island and took a step forward, realizing that Nathan was standing in front of the stove. "Get out of my way."

He didn't move for several seconds, and when he did he let out a long sigh. He watched her fill her plate with food. How could he not be worried? She was supposed to be in bed.

"Get a plate," she told him before moving around him and going to sit down at the table. She really was feeling better. She hadn't thrown up all day, and it was a tremendous new record. She'd had a big breakfast and a pretty hearty lunch, and she was hungry again. All were good signs.

Nathan watched her begin to eat. He was glad she was feeling better and was eating again, but he was still worried. He cautiously took the other plate from the island and got some food, taking a seat across from her.

They ate in silence, and when they were done Haley took both of their plates and took them to the sink to rinse them off.

"No, you're not doing dishes, too," Nathan protested, standing up.

"Relax," she told him. "I'm rinsing them, and then I'm putting them in the dishwasher."

"Haley, you're going to overdo it."

She let out a sardonic laugh and shook her head. Once she had the plates put away, she closed the dishwasher and began putting the leftovers away. "I'm fairly certain that it's not possible for me to overdo it with you and my parents all constantly over my shoulder checking up on me. God forbid I walk ten feet."

Nathan walked over to her, and once she'd shut the fridge, he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Come on. Let's get you to bed." He walked behind her the whole way up, his hands still on her shoulders.

Haley crawled into bed, and Nathan did the same, both sitting up against the headboard. She placed a hand on his thigh and sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a bitch. I'm just going a little stir crazy. It's only been a week, and I already feel like an invalid." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I appreciate how much you care about me. Don't think I take it for granted because I don't."

"I know you don't, baby," he responded, crossing his forearm over hers to place his hand on her thigh.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Haley moved her hand to rest on top of his. She pulled them both up to her stomach and let out a sigh.

Nathan looked at their hands for a few minutes, but then he couldn't take it anymore. He pulled his hand out from under hers and stood up abruptly. "I can't do this, Haley."

"Can't do what?" she questioned, looking at him quizzically. "Be with me?"

He shook his head. "I can't sit here and pretend that everything's okay. I've been doing it for a week, and I just can't anymore. Everything is not okay. I'm not okay with this."

"Nathan, you're not okay with what?" Haley sat up a little more. "Is it my parents' house? You don't have to stay here if you don't want to. It's not that big of a deal."

"No," he said forcefully, not being able to hold anything inside anymore. "I'm not okay with you having those babies."

Haley's brow furrowed further, and she shook her head. "What are you talking about? You said you wanted to have a family with me. What, now all of a sudden you don't want that?"

"Of course I want that," he said quietly. "But I don't want to have to lose you to do it. And just so you know, you dying and leaving two babies with me does not qualify as us having a family together."

Haley's mouth was open, but she was having trouble forming the words to answer him. What was he saying? "Nathan, I told you in the hospital that I'm doing this. I'm not going to murder my children."

"It's not murder!" he yelled. "It's not murder if it saves your life."

"Yes it is," she argued, the volume of her own voice rising as well. "And if you're not going to support me, then why are you even here?"

"Haley-"

"I mean, really, Nathan?" Haley stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are you here? Obviously you've just been pretending this entire week, so why even bother?"

Nathan closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "Haley, you're not understanding. I-"

"No, Nathan. I think I understand just fine," she interrupted him. "So why don't you just go?" She took a few steps forward and placed her hands on his chest, shoving him as hard as she could. Tears were streaming down her face by now, and she just couldn't believe that he was betraying her like this. "Go, and I'll just do this all by myself."

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm just trying to talk to you. Calm down."

"Calm down? Calm down?" Haley leaned forward and pushed him again. "Don't tell me to fucking calm down, Nathan. In fact, don't tell me what to do at all. Period."

Nathan pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could.

Haley's hands were in fists and she pounded them into his chest as hard as she could. It probably wasn't hurting him, but she couldn't help it. "Stop it!" she screamed, continuing to hit him. She tried to move out of his embrace but couldn't. "Just go!" she yelled into his shirt.

"No," he said sternly, tightening his grip around her body.

Haley continued to hit him until her arms grew tired, and she gave up, burying her head in his chest. She was sobbing now and found it difficult to breathe, but she was managing.

"Shh," Nathan whispered into her hair, running one of his hands up and down her back. "Shh, baby. It's okay."

At his words, Haley got angry again and finally broke out of his embrace. She shoved him, causing him to stumble back a few steps, and then she fell to the floor. She sat on her knees and placed her hands on the floor in front of her, bowing her head and crying.

Nathan had always hated seeing her cry, but his disdain for it had now increased tenfold. She looked so completely broken, and all he wanted to do was take her pain away. He wanted to make it all okay for her, but he couldn't. He refused to sit there and pretend that everything was alright when it wasn't. He watched her for several seconds and then finally made a move to walk towards her, squatting on the floor and placing a hand on her back.

Haley flinched at the contact and then pushed his hand away. "Don't touch me," she muttered weakly.

"Baby, you need to get back in bed. You know what the doctor said," Nathan reminded her. "You can't be stressing out right now."

She looked up, glaring at him through her tears. "Yeah, thanks for the reminder, _honey._" She shook her head and sat back on her knees. "You're the one fucking stressing me out, Nathan. The father of my babies tells me he wants to abort the lives that we created together, and I'm supposed to stay calm about it? Who the hell do you think you are?"

Nathan took a deep breath. He was really trying to stay calm about all of this, for Haley's sake. "Haley, just get back into bed, and we can talk about this calmly. Come on." He stood up and extended his hand for her to take.

Haley shook her head and stood up, refusing to take the hand he'd offered to her. She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him again. "Didn't I tell you not to tell me what to do? I'm not some child you can just boss around."

"I'm not trying to boss you around," he argued. "But you're supposed to be on bed rest. It's not good for you or the babies to be yelling and crying like this."

"Oh, like you give a shit," she muttered.

"Don't do that," he said loudly, glaring at her now. "Don't. I'm not going to feel badly about this. All I'm saying is you need to think about what you're doing. I don't want to lose you. I won't."

Haley let out a short, sardonic laugh and pulled her engagement ring off of her finger. She tossed it at him. "Too late." She sat down on the edge of her bed and fixed her eyes on the floor. "Get out."

"Haley-"

"Get out," she said in a stronger voice, glancing up at him.

Nathan bent down to retrieve the ring she'd thrown at him and walked over to her nightstand. He set it down and then walked to the door, placing his hand on the knob. "I love you," he said and then left the room, shutting the door securely behind him.

* * *

"What are you doing here, man?" Lucas asked, looking up from the novel he'd been busy reading.

Nathan shut the dorm room door behind him and then set his duffel bag down by his bed. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "I don't know, man."

Before Lucas could respond, Brooke came bursting into the room and slammed the door behind her. "What the hell did you do?" she nearly yelled at Nathan.

"What the hell are you talking about, Brooke?" he muttered. "I didn't do a damn thing." He knew what she was probably talking about, but he wasn't about to feel guilty about it.

"Oh, really?" she said sarcastically. "Then why did I just get a phone call from my best friend, and why was she crying her eyes out talking about what a bastard you are, huh? Why is that?"

Lucas stood up, eager to find out what the hell his girlfriend and brother were shouting about.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic, Brooke. I tried to sanely talk to her and tell her how I feel, like my brother insisted that I do." He shot a glare in Lucas's direction. "Thanks for that, by the way." He turned to face Brooke again. "Anyways, I tried to talk to her, and she freaked out on me. I should be the one who's fucking upset here. She was screaming at me and kept hitting me."

"Hitting you? Why?" Lucas asked.

"Because he told her that he didn't want her to have the babies," Brooke answered for Nathan. "Right?" she asked, turning to face her best friend's boyfriend.

Nathan shook his head. "Look, I just don't want her to risk her life for that, okay? It's not worth it."

"Not worth it?" Brooke muttered. "You clearly understand nothing about Haley then. Do you not get that she has two lives growing inside of her? Lives that she, as a mother, will do anything and everything to protect."

"Yeah, I get that," he answered.

Brooke sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "And did you also know that she is scared out of her mind that she's not going to have the chance to be a mother to them?" She watched his face and then smirked. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You don't know because you didn't ask. If you would have, you would know that Haley is even more worried than you are. She doesn't want to die and leave these babies without a mother." She paused to let it sink in. "But you don't know that because you're too worried about what's going to happen to _you _if _she_ dies. Newsflash, Boy Toy…this isn't about you."

* * *

"Do I hear my baby girl up here crying?" Lydia James asked, entering her daughter's room without knocking. When she saw that her daughter was, in fact, crying, she walked quickly to her bedside and took a seat. "What's wrong? Give it to me."

Haley sat up and wiped at her eyes. She shook her head and bit her lip.

"Don't go biting your lip and acting all shy. Spit it out," Lydia said with a small smile.

Haley ran a hand through her hair that was still damp from her shower. "Nathan and I had a fight."

Lydia picked up her daughter's left hand and squeezed her naked ring finger. "I can see that. What about?"

Haley let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head again. "He doesn't want to keep the babies. And I just…I mean, he's been staying here with me for a week and hasn't said a single thing about it, you know? I don't understand how he can just expect me to give up my children like that. I can't do that, Mom. I love them already…so much. It's not fair of him to want to take that away from me." When her mom was silent, she asked, "I'm right to be upset about this, right?"

Lydia thought for a moment before nodding. "Yes. You are right to be upset." She paused. "Why doesn't he want to keep the babies?"

Closing her eyes, Haley answered, "He doesn't want to lose me."

"Well I can't argue with that," Lydia responded. "None of us want to lose you, Haley."

"And I don't want anyone to have to lose me, but I could never live with myself if I didn't at least give these babies a chance, Mom. They are completely innocent in all of this."

Lydia nodded in agreement. "Yes they are." She looked at her daughter's hand again. "Why aren't you wearing your engagement ring?"

Haley shook her head and shrugged slightly. "I didn't mean it when I took it off, but he just made me so angry." She bit her lip again as her eyes filled with tears. "And if he can't support me in this and love these babies, then he's not the man I fell in love with."

"Baby, I understand why you're so upset," Lydia said. "But maybe he's just scared. And maybe the next time you two talk, you need to be a little calmer. Stress isn't good for you right now."

"How do you know I wasn't calm?" Haley countered.

Lydia laughed and patted her daughter's hand. "Honey, your father and I both got home during your little argument. I know you weren't calm because I could hear you as soon as I hit the driveway."

Haley laughed, and then the two were silent for a few minutes. Then she looked at her mom and squeezed her hand. "Mom," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

Haley cleared her throat lightly, as if it would make her next words easier to get out. "If I don't make it…if something happens to me…help him, okay?" she whispered, her voice cracking. "I don't want him to have to do this alone." She shook her head.

Lydia's own eyes were filled with tears now. The last thing she wanted to think about was losing her baby girl, but she knew where she was coming from. She would have wanted the same thing for her husband in that situation. Reaching up, Lydia wiped away some of the tears that were falling from her daughter's eyes. "Don't worry about a thing, baby," she replied confidently.

Nathan leaned against the doorframe with his arms and ankles crossed. He was biting his lip hard to stop the tears in his eyes from falling, but he wasn't very successful. He hated to admit it, but he'd never thought about how scared Haley might be in all of this. But he'd heard it from Brooke, and now he'd heard it from Haley. _"If I don't make it…if something happens to me…help him, okay?" _He wiped at his eyes and turned to leave. He wanted to talk to Haley, but when he did he wanted to be stable. He would go pull himself together, and then he would come back. She didn't need him making anything harder than it already was. Nathan reached the front door and let himself out, breaking into a jog as soon as he hit the bottom of the driveway. Soon he was sprinting, and he didn't even notice when it started raining.


	18. Chapter 18

**Three damn days in a row...goodness! I am so into this story right now. Not that I wasn't before, but I have been on a major writing kick. I've started another story, too, so that's very exciting. I loved everyone's reviews for Chapter 17, they were some of my favorite ever! I rewrote this chapter 3 or 4 times trying to word everything correctly, and all I have to say to you after you read it...trust me! Lol, and enjoy! I must say I'm very eager to hear your responses to this one.**

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* * *

**Sleep was only a breath away, but that changed when Haley felt her bed shift unmistakably. Her back was turned so she couldn't see who the intruder was, but she knew it was Nathan. She could smell his cologne and recognized the steady pattern of his breathing. She made no move to turn around, and her eyes stayed closed, but she breathed in a deep breath. She knew this was coming. She just hadn't expected it to be at one o'clock in the morning. She'd told him to leave, and he had come back at one o'clock in the morning.

Nathan had changed out of his wet clothes when he got back to the house. Lydia and Jimmy had still been awake so they knew he was there. Each gave him a sympathetic look when they saw him, and he nodded to acknowledge their presence. Now, as he prepared for bed, he was only wearing a pair of blue plaid boxers. He settled under the covers, figuring that Haley was already asleep. After all, what would she be doing awake at one o'clock in the morning? Just as he closed his eyes, he heard her small voice whispering to him.

"What are you doing here?" She still didn't turn around to face him, and since she was close to the edge of the bed they weren't touching.

His eyes were fully open now, and he turned on his side so he was facing her back. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but he didn't know what her reaction to that would be. "I'm not leaving you, Haley," he whispered back. "I don't care what you do or what you say. I love you. Nothing's going to change that."

She sniffled and brought the hand that was under her pillow out to rub away a few tears. "I'm not going to change my mind, Nathan."

"I know," he replied softly and solemnly. He tentatively moved his body a few inches closer to hers.

Haley's eyes were now wide open, too, but she still didn't turn around. She moved her hand in front of her for effect as she spoke. "I just don't understand how you can feel this way about our children. I know we only found out about them a week ago, but how can you not love them? How can you not be completely in love with the idea that we created these two little children? Because I am, Nathan. I love them, and I love that it was our love for each other that made them. Nothing else. And if you can't love them, then I can't possibly understand how you love me."

Nathan fearlessly continued to move over on the bed until the entire length of his body was pressed against her back as he spooned her. He wrapped his arms around her, resting one hand over hers that was on her stomach, surprised when she didn't move away or tell him to get out of the bed. He rested his nose in the cradle between her neck and shoulder and breathed in her fresh scent. "Haley, I do love these babies, okay? I do."

"How can you love them and want to kill them?" she whispered. Feeling his entire body pressed up against hers caused an incredible amount of warmth to shoot through her entire body. They hadn't been this close in almost a week, and even though their conversation said otherwise his proximity to her was really comforting. She was desperately trying to understand how he could feel this way about their children, but she needed him to explain it to her.

"I don't," he answered immediately, his voice also in a whisper. "I don't want to, Haley. I could never want that." He inhaled another deep breath and left a light kiss on her neck as his eyes filled with tears. "But the thought of losing you…the thought of never seeing your beautiful face again…it's too much, Haley. I don't think I could survive that."

Haley closed her eyes briefly at his words and felt a few of his hot tears fall onto her shoulder. She brought her other hand up to rest over his on her stomach. Now his hand was sandwiched in between both of hers. "Nathan, you are the strongest man I have ever met. I know you, okay? And I know that no matter what happens, we will both be okay. Our family will be okay."

"But it's not a family without you," he objected quietly, placing another kiss on her neck. "You're my family."

She rubbed his hand reassuringly. "So are these babies, Nathan," she whispered. "You're their father, and it's our job as their parents to protect them."

Nathan nodded against her back and then moved his mouth to her ear, whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, okay? I don't…I could never want to kill our children, and I hate that I made you think that. But I need you, Haley. I need you, and I can't live without you." He pressed his body into hers harder, trying to feel as close to her as humanly possible.

"Yes you can," she whispered back, squeezing his hand on her stomach. "But you won't have to. We will get through this, and these babies will have a mom and a dad who love them very much." Haley wasn't sure how much she believed that, but for Nathan's sake she had to at least try to look on the bright side. He could do this without her; she knew he could. He really was the strongest man she'd ever met, and his strength was one of the things she loved most about him. "You are going to be a great father," she continued. "These babies are already so lucky to have you in their lives. You'll give them everything; I know it."

Nathan closed his eyes, taking in every word she said. "I really do love them," he whispered a moment later. "I'm sorry."

"I know you do," she replied, pulling his hand off of her stomach to kiss his palm. "I know."

The room was silent for a few minutes as they just lay together, and then Nathan picked up her left hand. "You're still not wearing your ring," he observed.

Haley looked down at her hand. She felt bad for even taking it off. It was obviously done in a moment of absolute anger, and Nathan didn't deserve that from her. "I'm sorry I took it off," she whispered. She reached over to her nightstand where he had placed it several hours earlier and put it in his hand. "Put it back where it belongs," she said, holding her hand out for him.

Nathan smiled softly, pushing the ring onto her slim finger. "There," he said, bringing her hand up to his lips. He kissed the ring and then did the same thing with each one of her fingers. "So we're really going to do this, huh?" he asked with a small sigh.

"Yeah," she replied. "You're okay, right? I don't want you to end up resenting these babies because of something that might not even happen anyways. They don't deserve that."

He kissed her shoulder and nodded. "I'm okay. I'm still…I'm still scared, but I understand everything you said before. And I agree with you, Hales. I do. It's just hard."

She nodded. "I know." Turning her head, she placed a hand behind his neck and brought his lips to hers in a soft kiss. That was something else it had been almost a week since they'd done, and she had missed the closeness she felt when their lips were joined. "I love you," she whispered after pulling back.

Nathan presented her with a small smile and kissed her again. "I love you, too."

Haley deepened the kiss a moment later, pushing her tongue past his lips. She maneuvered their bodies so that she was underneath him, and she locked her wrists around his neck. It felt so good to feel him again. It felt like it had been forever. A few minutes later she moved her hands down to squeeze his ass, and when she did she felt his erection press into her thigh forcefully.

Nathan let out a low groan when she began to move her hips under his. "Haley, stop," he muttered after another long kiss. "We can't. You know what the doctor said."

With an exasperated sigh, Haley opened her eyes. "Nathan, how much damage could one night really do? I want you, and I know you want me." She trailed one hand down his chest, cupping his hardness through his boxers.

Nathan closed his eyes and allowed himself to take pleasure in her strokes for a moment before he grabbed her hand and pushed it away from his lower body. "I always want you, Hales, but we can't." He lowered himself on the bed and pushed her tank top up to reveal her stomach. It was no longer as flat as it had been before the pregnancy or even the previous week when they had found out about it. Nathan left a few scattered kisses across her belly and then looked up at her with a soft smile. "I know how much you love these babies, and I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt them. So we can't." He kissed her stomach a few more times before pulling her shirt back down and moving back up her body. "You know why you don't want anything to happen to them?"

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"Because you are a great mother," he whispered against her lips. Then he pulled back and placed a kiss on her nose.

Haley began to tear up at his compliment and raised a hand to caress his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered.

He nodded, and they kissed for a few minutes before he pulled away and rolled off of her. "Okay, I need to stop. I have to calm down." He sent a pointed look to his boxers.

Haley laughed, covering her mouth with one hand to stifle the noise. She saw him glare at her and immediately stopped laughing. "I'm sorry, baby," she said, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "I didn't mean to laugh." She paused and sighed before letting out a frustrated groan. "Do you know how hard it's going to be not doing anything for the next six months?"

"I'd say hard is the right word," Nathan muttered.

Haley slapped his arm playfully and then remarked, "At least your hand will be getting a good workout."

Nathan turned to look at her and glared. "Yeah, laugh it up," he commented when he heard her giggle again. In reality the sound was like music to his ears. Seeing Haley so carefree, even if just for a minute or two, was incredibly reassuring. "Like you won't miss it just as much as I will."

"Yeah, but at least you can't see my frustration," she mumbled, eyeing his cock which was still looking painfully hard. "You know," she started, scooting closer to him, "the doctor didn't say _you _couldn't do anything. I don't think a little hand job would hurt the babies." She reached for his boxers and in one quick move had them around his ankles. Then her hand was wrapped around his throbbing member, and she began pumping him up and down. "Do you?" she asked, looking at him from under her eyelashes.

Nathan's hips bucked, and his eyes closed as he let out a long groan. "No. No, definitely not," he choked out.

* * *

A week passed, and Haley and Nathan's relationship was stable. Nathan started spending more time at the house with Haley, and he went with her for her checkup. Everything was fine, but Haley was beginning to freak out a little on the inside. She was twelve weeks into the pregnancy, and her last one had ended at fourteen weeks. She was feeling fine, but it still worried her. She had grown to love these babies so much in such a short amount of time; she knew that she would. But she was trying to stay positive, especially around Nathan. Having him there with her helped, but when she was alone all she did was worry. Her morning sickness continued to dissipate, which she was incredibly thankful for. Now it seemed like she was hungry all the time. No weird cravings had kicked in; it was more like she was in the mood for anything that was lying around any time of day. Nathan thought it was adorable, and usually he was the one feeding her.

That's what he was doing now. Nathan had picked up food from his mom's restaurant after basketball practice and had just gotten back to Lydia and Jimmy's house to eat with Haley. It was just past noon as he made it up the steps and to her bedroom door. Haley was sitting with one leg on the bed, one on the floor, as she changed William's diaper. Nathan smirked and set the bag of food down, reaching down to tickle the baby's tummy as Haley fastened his new diaper. "Now you're on baby duty?" he wondered. "Where are your parents?"

"They took Gracie and Logan to the park," Haley replied, pulling William's pants back on over his diaper. "They'll be back soon. Don't worry about it. If you remember correctly, he's a pretty easy baby." She reached for the wadded up dirty diaper and handed it to Nathan. "Speaking of, could you take care of that for me?"

"Ugh," he muttered, leaving the room to dispose of the dirty diaper.

Haley laughed and picked William up, bouncing the baby on her lap and taking a wipe out of the box on the bed to clean her hands. "We can make him do all the dirty work, huh?"

Nathan reentered the room and shook his head in disgust. "You are so not making me do that with the twins."

They'd gotten better with talking about the twins and both of them being around for them. As the days went by, it got easier to talk about it without feeling guilty or unsure. They were both just hoping for the best.

Laughing again, Haley stood up with William. "Well I know you don't expect me to do it. It's just a dirty diaper, Nathan. Come on; I thought you were a man."

Nathan smirked, walking closer to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "I think we both _know _that I'm a man, Hales."

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, take him. Momma's hungry." As soon as the baby was in her fiancé's arms, she sat down Indian style on the bed and started digging through the bag of food from Deb's restaurant. She pulled out the macaroni and cheese first, eating with the plastic fork Nathan had packed. As soon as she took a bite, she closed her eyes and released a quiet moan. "Mm, that's so good."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Baby in the room, Hales," he warned jokingly. "Don't get too excited."

Rolling her eyes again, she took another bite. "Shut up."

Nathan watched her eat almost everything in the bag, eventually joining her and stealing a few bites. William was lying on his play mat on the floor, shaking the toy keys that were dangling above his face. "So what are you going to do about school?" Nathan asked, handing Haley his bottle of water to drink from.

She took a few sips and then sighed. "I don't know. Obviously I can't go back anytime soon."

"What about online courses?"

She shrugged. "Honestly, I would love to do that. I mean, I want to graduate, but I don't really feel like it. I know I sound like a lazy slob, but I really don't think I have the energy for any of it."

"You don't sound like a slob," he told her. "You sound like the beautiful woman who is carrying my children and deserves to have whatever she wants." He paused. "If you don't think you can handle it, then don't do it. You can go back and finish up your degree once the babies are born. We can't risk you getting stressed out."

"I know," she answered him, taking another sip from his water bottle and then handing it back to him. She wanted to say that maybe she couldn't go back and finish her degree…because maybe she wouldn't be there. She still thought about it a lot, but she knew she shouldn't. Thinking negatively wasn't good for anyone, and she didn't want to put that on Nathan. However, it was a very real possibility, and Haley had always been a practical thinker. She was going to be prepared, either way, and she was going to make sure Nathan was, too.

Nathan took a sip of the water, looking over his shoulder to make sure that William was still okay. Then he turned to face Haley again and began gathering all the empty containers and tossing them into the large bag they'd been delivered in. "I was also thinking we need to talk about where we're going to live. Your parents shouldn't have to deal with two babies in the house. I know it's a long way off, but after graduation I think we should find an apartment."

Haley sighed but nodded her head. "Yeah, probably. But the draft's not for a month after that, and we don't know where you're going to go. And it's not like I'm going to be flying anywhere while I'm pregnant. I'm due in August, but the babies could come way before that. They probably will."

Nathan sighed and ran his hands over his face. "Yeah, I clearly haven't thought this through as well as you have." He shrugged. "I don't know. We can find a month-to-month lease. And babe, camp doesn't start until September so I can be here with you until then."

Haley shook her head and bit her lip. "I never realized how much time we're going to have to spend apart. Maybe I should stay here with my parents when you go. At least then I'll have help, and you can just focus on basketball."

Nathan shook his head. "No, I'm not going to leave you here. But…I don't know, Hales. Let's just figure it out when the time comes, okay?"

Haley opened her mouth to speak, but Nathan cut her off before she could.

"I know; it's not in your nature. But we're kind of playing this whole thing by ear, you know? Let's just take it one day at a time."

Hesitantly, Haley nodded. "Okay. Yeah, I can do that." Truthfully, Haley was already taking it one day at a time. She was fairly sure her mind would explode if she tried any other technique. Scooting forward on the bed, Haley rested her forehead against Nathan's and stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. "I am _so _damn sick of sitting here all day. And it's only been two weeks! I'm going to be ready to go to the damn nuthouse in a month."

Nathan chuckled, rubbing her back slowly. "I'm sorry, babe." Leaning back, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I wish I could take it all away for you."

"Me, too," she agreed and then threw herself back on the bed. "Bring me the baby. He's the most entertainment I've had all week."

With a laugh, Nathan stood up and picked up a smiling William. "Thanks, Hales. That makes me feel great about myself," he muttered, taking a seat next to her.

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." She took the baby from him and raised her knees, sitting him down so he was directly in front of her. She looked up at Nathan and gave him a small smile. "I love you."

Bending down, Nathan kissed her gently. "I love you, too."

* * *

"So things are good?" Lucas asked, watching his brother pack up more of his belongings to take to Lydia and Jimmy's.

Nathan nodded, not looking at his brother as he continued to throw more clothes into his bag. "As good as they can be, given the circumstances."

Lucas sighed. "You're not still pissed at me because of that whole coach thing, are you? Cause, really, man-"

"No," Nathan cut him off, finally looking up. "I've had a few other things on my mind lately. The coach is the least of my worries."

"Right," Lucas mumbled, feeling stupid now. Of course Nathan wasn't thinking about what a dick his coach was. His fucking fiancée was pregnant, and they were both hurting. More than anything, Lucas wished there was something he could do to relieve some of his little brother's pain. Or Haley's. He and Haley weren't the closest of people, but he knew her well enough to know that she didn't deserve for life to treat her this way. She didn't deserve all the pain she was being put through. "How's Haley?" he asked.

Nathan looked up and saw the concern etched on his brother's face. He dropped the shirt he was holding into his bag and sighed. "I don't know, man," he said with a small shake of his head. "She seems fine…definitely better than last week. But I can't help but feel like she's putting on this mask…with me and with everyone else." He paused and took a seat on his bed. "When I went over there that night and heard her talking to her mom, she sounded so scared. Like she genuinely believed that she wasn't going to live through this. But when I talk to her she always seems so confident. I just feel like it's all a lie."

"Why don't you ask her about it?" Lucas inquired.

Nathan shrugged. "Because what if it's not a lie? Maybe she's actually feeling really good about it, and if she is I don't want to ruin that for her. I don't want to make this any worse for her than it already is, you know?"

Lucas crossed his arms over his chest as he sat on his bed. "And what about you? Are you still scared?"

Nathan looked up, nodding without hesitation. "Every day," he whispered. "Every night I hold her in my arms and just watch her sleep. And the whole time I'm thinking…this could be it. This could be my last chance to spend time with her, so I have to memorize everything I can about her. The way she looks, the way she is…it could be the last time, Luke." He shook his head and wiped at his eyes. "God, I'm a mess. I know I am. I just can't imagine waking up every day for the rest of my life and knowing that she's gone and is never coming back."

"But you want her to have the babies now, right?" Lucas double-checked. It's what his brother had told him, but with the way he was talking it sounded like he might have reverted back to his first opinion.

"Yes," Nathan answered. "Talking to Haley about it made me realize just how much I would regret losing them. And I do love them, Luke. I want them to be born, and I want them to be healthy. But that doesn't change the fact that losing Haley is going to hurt like hell."

"Man, you have to stop thinking like that," Lucas told him. "I know you're both taking risks by doing this, and I know what _could _happen, but like I told you before…Haley's tough. You need to be optimistic, for her and for yourself."

Nathan nodded. "I know. I'm trying to be; I really am. Especially around Haley. But I think…until I know that she's safe it's always going to be there, in the back of my mind. In the back of hers, too. I know how scared she is."

Lucas nodded. "Nathan, I've been to visit Haley twice since she left the hospital, and both times I could see the fear in her eyes. You've got to let her lean on you, and I know that's what you're doing. But if you guys are going to make it through this, you're going to have to lean on her, too."

"Yeah, I know," Nathan replied as he stood up. "Listen, man…it means a lot to me that you're here for us. You and Brooke both. Thanks."

Lucas stood up and gave his brother a quick hug. "We're here for whatever you need."

* * *

Haley sat up when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. "Come in," she shouted. She watched her mom walk in and sit beside her.

"Hey," Lydia greeted her daughter, putting an arm around her shoulders. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Haley replied robotically. It had become her go-to response every time someone asked her how she was. It happened so often that coming up with authentic answers was just tiresome.

Lydia eyed her daughter suspiciously. "Fourteen weeks today, right?" she asked quietly.

Haley nodded her head. "Yeah," she whispered. She was fourteen weeks pregnant, and the significance of that fact was not lost to her. Haley was more scared now than she had been that first day in the hospital. Last time she hadn't made it past this, and to say she was freaking out would be an understatement. Everything meant so much more this time because she was going through it with Nathan. He was feeling all of the same anxieties she was, and because of that Haley felt a large weight on her shoulders. It was scary.

Lydia didn't say anything else, and Haley was glad for it. The two women sat there in silence for almost an hour until Lydia excused herself to go to bed. Haley knew what she was trying to do, but it didn't help. She felt like she couldn't be comforted. The only one that made it better was Nathan, and he was gone so much for basketball. When he was home, he seemed tired and distracted, and she didn't want to make that worse for him. She knew he was trying; the last two weeks were a testament to that. He'd continued to bring her food a few days a week, but after about a week he stopped eating with her. He'd simply drop it off and then leave again…that or he'd just go to another part of the house. Because she knew he was trying, she didn't want to push him too hard or force him to do anything more than he wanted to. She didn't want to nag him so much that she pushed him away, but he was already so far away from her emotionally that it didn't seem to make a difference. It was as if they had fallen right back into the same rut they were in when Haley was released from the hospital, except now she knew that he loved and wanted the babies. At least, that's what he had told her.

She was finding it harder and harder to believe. If he loved her and the babies so much and wanted the four of them to be a family one day, why the hell wasn't he spending time with her? She understood that all she could really do was lie in bed and watch television or listen to music; it was boring. Of course she knew that. She was going absolutely crazy being cooped up in the house week after week. She wondered briefly if it was about sex…the fact that they couldn't have it. Maybe he didn't want to be tempted, or maybe he was getting it from somewhere else. Haley shook her head as soon as that thought entered her mind. Nathan would never cheat on her. He wouldn't do that to her. Their love was too deep.

But there was something going on; that much was clear. And Haley intended to find out exactly what it was the next time she saw Nathan. The longer they left their issues unattended, the more stressed out she got, and she refused to let their petty problems put her babies' lives in danger. Nathan had seemed so sure about everything that night that he came over after their fight and talked things out. He was so supportive of her, and now he was almost nonexistent.

Turning her head, Haley stared at the large, red numbers displayed on the digital clock that sat on her nightstand. It was half past eleven, and he wasn't home yet. Yeah…it wasn't that late, but that wasn't the point. He knew what today was. He knew that she was fourteen weeks pregnant now, and surely he remembered the significance of it. He must know how freaked out she was. So why wasn't he there?

* * *

He knew he shouldn't be here. He knew it was wrong and that he should be in bed with his fiancée right now, holding her and comforting her in her time of tragedy. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was sick and tired of sitting in that room day after day, week after week, and looking at her. When he saw her face now, all he could think about was how much he would miss it when it was gone. When he saw her hands, all he could think about was how much he would miss the feel of them against his skin. When he watched the way her breasts rose and fell with her chest as she fell into her regular pattern of breathing, all he could think about was how much he would miss making love to her. It's not like they could do it anyways. They would probably never make love again.

He also knew that the large amount of alcohol in his system was contributing to his pessimistic thoughts. But he didn't care, and so he ordered another drink. He looked around the club. It was full of men and women, and they all looked so carefree and happy. But he would bet that at least half of them were there for the same reason he was: to drown their sorrows, to forget about their problems for a night, and to make themselves feel better about the things in life that they couldn't control. It was all a waste, and he knew that. But it was better than being there with her and wishing that he could change their situation for the better. What did wishing do? Not a damn thing. As soon as his next drink was placed in front of him, Nathan picked it up and tossed it back, allowing the high consistency of alcohol to burn his throat. He let out a large breath as he slammed the glass down and ordered another. Yeah, he was definitely drunk.

As soon as that drink came, he did the same. And when the next one came, he did the same. When the next one came, he raised it to his lips and was about to drink when he heard a voice next to him.

"Wow. You sure can knock 'em back."

He paused briefly and then continued in his action, consuming the drink. He set it down on the bar quietly this time and then turned his barstool to face the redhead next to him. He'd never seen her before, but as he allowed his eyes to rove over her scantily dressed body he smirked. He knew his words would be slurred due to his high level of intoxication but leaned forward to speak to her anyways. "Have we met before?" he asked.

The girl smirked and shook her head. As her own drink was set down on the bar, she picked up the shot glass and tossed it back almost as flawlessly as Nathan had. "No," she answered him, licking her lips. "But you're Nathan Scott. I'm Rachel." She held her dainty hand out to him.

Nathan smirked again. In his drunken state, this girl was exactly what he needed. He took her hand in his and shook it lightly before bringing it up to his lips and placing a kiss on the back of it.

"Aren't you, like, engaged or something?" she asked and felt him let go of her hand.

Nathan scoffed. "Or something," he mumbled.

Rachel laughed and nodded in understanding. "Trust me; I'm not here to ask you about your problems or share my own with you. I'm not quite that pathetic." She turned in her barstool as well so they were now face to face.

"So what are you here for then?" he asked. When she crossed one leg over the other, he let his eyes linger on the exposed skin of her thigh. He licked his lips and then looked at her face again. She was smirking.

She shrugged slightly, never letting the smirk disappear from her face. "Isn't it obvious?" she muttered, using the bar as leverage to get closer to him.

Nathan watched her, and when she was directly in front of his face his eyes moved down to the large amount of cleavage her top was exposing. He stared for a few seconds, not even caring that it was completely obvious, and then reached a hand out, resting it on her thigh. "Do you want to get out of here?" he whispered huskily.

She smirked again. "You bet your ass I do." She stood up and grabbed his hand.

Nathan stood as well, throwing his arm lazily over her shoulders as they made their way out of the club. They walked to his car, and he opened the door for her. When she looked at him he smirked and ran around to the other side, crawling into the driver's seat drunkenly.

Surprisingly enough, Rachel gave him directions, and Nathan was able to make it to her apartment in his drunken state. He parked hastily and then jumped out of the car. Rachel did the same, and she took his hand again and led him upstairs to her apartment.

She opened the door and then turned around to face him. "Are you sure about this?" she asked. "She'll never forgive you." She knew Nathan Scott was engaged; every girl did. She also knew that his fiancée was pregnant, but that wasn't going to stop her from getting what she wanted. He obviously wanted it, too.

Nathan smirked and lightly pushed her into the apartment, kicking the door shut with his foot. "I'm sure."


	19. Chapter 19

**Wow. The reviews for the last chapter were...awesome. You guys are great. I planned on keeping you guys in suspense for a few more chapters, but everything just sort of came out in this one. So here we are!**

**

* * *

**It was almost three o'clock in the morning now, and Haley still hadn't gone to sleep. She'd been staring at the red numbers on her digital clock for three hours, allowing the incredibly annoying brightness to burn her eyes. She wasn't worried about what Nathan was doing; that's not why she was awake. But with each passing day, she was finding it harder and harder to sleep without him by her side. He made her feel safe and protected, and she had gotten used to sleeping with his chest pressed against her back and his hand resting on her ever-growing baby bump. It was comfortable, and it reminded her of the fact that he loved their babies. She still needed reassurance for that, and she usually got it at night when all the lights were off.

He hadn't called either, and that was worrying her. What if something happened to him? She shook her head, trying to push those thoughts out of her mind. If something bad had happened, someone would have called her by now. She would have been notified.

She watched as twelve more minutes crept by, and then she heard the slow creaking of her bedroom door. She silently rolled onto her back. Her eyes were still open, and she could see him trying to close the door quietly. He kicked his shoes off and was practically tiptoeing across the room to her bed. He hadn't even crossed the room yet, and Haley could already tell he had been drinking. She inwardly sighed at the thought. What was he doing?

When Nathan finally reached the bed, he pulled his shirt off and then stripped himself of his jeans as well. He pulled the covers back and climbed in as slowly as possible, trying not to wake what he thought was a sleeping Haley.

"Where were you?" she asked quietly, turning on her side to face him now.

He jumped when he heard her voice and nearly fell off of the bed, placing a hand over his heart. "Jesus, Haley. Don't do that. You scared the hell out of me."

"Yeah, well you scared the hell out of me," she replied. "It's almost three. Where have you been?"

He shook his head and pulled the covers up to his waist, lying down on his back. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine."

She watched him for a few minutes. It killed her that he was being so distant with her. She didn't want that. But she was tired, and now was not the time to argue. She just wanted to sleep. It had been a long day. She scooted over in the bed and draped her arm over his stomach, wanting to be close to him and feel safe.

But as soon as her arm landed on his stomach, Nathan picked it up and pushed it off of him. "Not tonight, Haley," he mumbled with a short sigh.

Haley moved back to her side of the bed and sat up slightly. Did he even know how hard today had been for her? The only person she had talked to was her mom, and they'd exchanged approximately ten words. Her sister and Brooke had both come to see her, but she had refused to talk to them. The only person she wanted with her wasn't there. "Nathan," she whispered, looking over at him in the dark.

He let out another sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah?"

She bit her lip. Maybe he just thought it wasn't a big deal. Maybe he thought the significance of the day hadn't affected her. "I'm fourteen weeks pregnant," she whispered, hoping to get some kind of genuine reaction out of him.

"Yeah, I know," he muttered. "How could I forget?" He rolled onto his side so his back was facing her and closed his eyes. "Go to sleep, Haley."

She wanted so badly to scoff and yell at him, but maybe he really didn't know the significance of that number. Could she blame him for that? She sat there with her mouth open for several minutes before turning her back to him as well. When she closed her eyes a few tears escaped, and she let out a frustrated sigh. She was really tired of crying all the time. She hated looking like some broken, wounded woman, and more than that she hated feeling like one. Before he had been distant, but now he was just being cold. _"How could I forget?" _There had been a harsh flare in his voice as he'd said the words, and she had definitely picked up on it. For now, she chose to blame it on the alcohol and believe that in the morning he would be back to his old self.

It was late when Nathan got up the next morning, but Haley was still asleep beside him. When he stood up, he noticed that she had pushed herself to the very edge of the bed in what he could only assume was an attempt to distance herself from him. He had been drunk, but he definitely remembered his entire evening. Going to the club…ordering drink after lousy drink…going home with Rachel…and being a dick to Haley. He shook his head. He hadn't meant to be cold to her, but he felt so goddamn guilty. Now when he looked at her, he felt all those same things that had made him get drunk in the first place. And in addition to those things, he also wanted to hit himself for what he'd done to her…what she didn't even know he'd done to her. A part of him wanted to tell her about it, just so it wouldn't be on his conscience anymore. The larger part, though, was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut. She never had to know.

Turning around, he left the room and went to shower. He made it quick because in all honesty, he wanted to get out of the house before Haley got up. It's not that he didn't want to talk to her. He just didn't want to behave like an ass again and hurt her. He dressed in jeans and a plain black t-shirt and walked into her room to get his shoes.

Haley looked up from her place on the bed. She'd woken just a few minutes after him and heard the shower running. She needed to talk to him. She needed to know what was bothering him. "Hey," she said quietly when she noticed him walking in. He was running a towel through his wet hair.

Once again, he was startled, and jumped slightly. "Hey," he responded as he picked up his shoes. He sat down on the bed and set the wet towel down next to him. Bending over, he began lacing up his shoes.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Sorry," he answered quickly. "I've got class, and I'm running late." He finished tying his shoes and stood up, grabbing the wet towel from the bed.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Nathan, what is up with you? You stumble in here drunk in the middle of the night, won't let me touch you even though I laid awake for half the night because I couldn't sleep without your arms around me, and now you're lying to my face."

Nathan furrowed his brow. "I'm not lying to your face. I have class, and I need to leave."

Haley scoffed. "Yeah, okay," she muttered sarcastically. "You have class on a Sunday afternoon. Whatever, Nathan. I don't care. Just go."

"Haley, I'm sorry, okay?" he responded. "I'm sorry I wasn't here last night. I should have called."

"No, Nathan. You should have been here. And that doesn't explain why you just lied to my face about having class just so you could avoid this conversation."

He shook his head and held up both of his hands, one still gripping the wet towel. "Look, I have to go. I'll be back later, and we can talk. It's not like you're going anywhere." He grabbed his duffel bag off of the floor and left the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

Again, Haley was left sitting on the bed, mouth agape. What the hell was his problem? He knew how hard it was for her to sit there every damn day and do nothing, but she was doing it. She was doing everything that she had to do to ensure that her babies made it; he knew that. And now he was just going to use their situation to make hurtful comments to her? That wasn't Nathan.

Nathan trotted down the stairs and had just reached the front door when he heard Lydia's voice. She was calling his name. He turned around and walked into the kitchen and found her leaning against the island with her coffee cup secured between both hands.

"Hey," she greeted him, somewhat solemnly. "I just wanted to ask if you talked to Haley last night. How was she doing? I went in there around nine o'clock and sat with her for a while, but she wouldn't say much."

He furrowed his brow, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

Lydia opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. The second time, she spoke. "Well, yesterday Brooke and Quinn came by to see her, and she refused to talk to them. It was a hard day."

Nathan ran a hand through his hair. "It was a hard day for me, too, but-"

"No, Nathan," Lydia interrupted him softly. She watched his face become even more confused and then pursed her lips together in recognition. "You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?" he inquired.

"I know you know about Haley's miscarriage two years ago," she continued. "She lost that baby at fourteen weeks, and yesterday she began her fourteenth week. She's…I mean, she didn't say it, but I think she's more scared now than ever."

Damn it. That was why she had told him last night that she was fourteen weeks pregnant. He was supposed to remember; she expected him to remember. Of course she would be more scared now. She was probably expecting to wake up one morning and find that she had lost these babies, too. Nathan shook his head and let out a small curse. "I…I didn't remember. God, how could I not have remembered?"

Lydia shook her head. "Don't beat yourself up over it, Nathan. Like I said, I sat with her for a little while, and she probably wouldn't have talked anyways. I'm sure you're forgiven."

He let out a long sigh. "Yeah, um…I'm sorry. I've got to go. I'll see you later, Mrs. James."

"That's Lydia to you," she called after him.

* * *

"Oh, my God," Lucas mumbled, astonished. "I…don't know what to say."

"Wow. Thanks, man," Nathan said sarcastically. "That really helps me in this situation."

Lucas grimaced. "Well I hate to say it, Nate, but I don't think anyone can help you in this situation." He shook his head. "How could you do that to Haley, man?"

"Luke, I didn't mean to, okay?" When he saw the incredulous look his brother gave him, he sighed. "I didn't mean it like that. Obviously I meant to, but I was drunk. I didn't…I don't want to hurt Haley."

Lucas let out a sardonic laugh. "Bang up job, Nathan." He couldn't help it. He loved his brother, but he didn't understand how he could hurt Haley like this. They were engaged, for God's sake. And they were already going through so much crap together.

Nathan glared at his brother. "I didn't come here so that you could judge me or ridicule me or whatever the hell it is you're doing right now."

Lucas shook his head again. "Why'd you do it?" There had to be some logical, pitiable reason.

His brother started pacing, but when he began talking he stood still. "Luke, I love Haley. I didn't do it because I don't love her. And I love our babies, but…damn it, Lucas. It's too much."

"What's too much, little brother?"

"All of it," Nathan exclaimed, flailing his arms around in the air for effect. "All of it, man. I don't know how to be a father. I can't even be Haley's fiancé and help her through this because I can't be in the same room with her without my heart breaking."

"Suck it up!" Lucas yelled. He shook his head and took a deep breath to calm himself. "Nathan, I understand that you're hurting, alright? I get that you don't want to lose her, but she's still here. She's still here, Nate, and if you keep treating her like this do you have any idea how much you're going to hate yourself if she does die? Do you have any idea how much guilt you're going to carry around, probably for the rest of your life?"

Nathan took a seat on one of the beds in their dorm room and buried his head in his hands. "I already feel guilty," he mumbled.

"So stop," Lucas said loudly. "Turn it around. Treat her right. Help her. Let her know that you're there for her, and then be there for her. It's not enough to just say the words." He paused. "And I love you, little brother, but I want to hit you for what you did with Rachel. Haley doesn't deserve that."

"I know," Nathan replied, looking up at his brother. "I know, Lucas, but I can't just turn off my feelings. I can't just look at her and tell myself not to hurt."

"You don't have to," Lucas answered, much quieter this time. "It's going to hurt, and it's probably never going to stop until this is all over. I know that, you know that, and Haley knows that. But if being there for her and sitting with her while she cries and holding her while she sleeps will make just a sliver of her pain go away, is that not worth it?"

Nathan sighed. Talking to his brother was helping him so much, but at the same time it was also doubling the guilt he felt for betraying Haley and their engagement and being a dick to her. "Yes, it's worth it," he answered after a few seconds.

"So tell her that," Lucas encouraged. "Go be there for her. Go be the guy that she fell in love with, and don't stop being that guy unless she gives you a reason to stop."

Nathan stood up from the bed and pulled his brother into a short man hug. "Thanks, man," he muttered.

Lucas squeezed his brother's shoulder reassuringly. "I'm here for you, man. I'll probably stop by there later to see Haley, if that's okay."

Nathan nodded. "I'm sure she'd love to see you. Brooke's probably on her way over here to chew me out for being a jackass, so I'm going to go. I'll see you later, man."

Lucas gave his brother a nod and watched him leave. He had no idea if Nathan was planning on telling Haley about what happened with Rachel, but a part of him hoped he wouldn't. Even though it was the honest thing to do, it would hurt Haley, and she had enough to deal with.

* * *

Once Nathan had gone, Haley got out of bed and went to take a shower. It had quickly become her favorite part of the day, simply because it allowed her to stand on her feet for longer than ten seconds. She found that her showers had become longer, and today was no exception. In fact, her shower was even longer today because she ended up zoning out for ten minutes, just thinking about Nathan. She didn't understand why he felt the need to lie to her. Neither of them had ever made a habit out of lying to each other, and she'd be damned if they started now. It had never been more important for them to be open and honest with each other, and if he couldn't do that then what the hell were they even doing together?

She was even more frustrated when she got out of the shower than when she'd gotten in. She dried off and then wrapped the towel around her body, securing it just above her breasts. Another towel sat on top of her head, holding her wet hair in a cocoon. She turned the light in the bathroom off as she walked out and shut her bedroom door behind her. It wasn't until she was fully inside the room with the door closed that she noticed Nathan sitting on her bed. She let out a sigh and walked to her dresser, pulling open all the drawers so she could get dressed. Glancing back at him, she muttered sarcastically, "How was class?"

Nathan winced at both her words and her tone of voice, but he stood up anyways. "I'm sorry." He watched her untwist the towel from her hair and drop it on the floor and then undo the one that was covering her body. When he saw that she was completely naked, for some reason he felt the need to turn around. So he did.

Haley looked up as she dressed herself and rolled her eyes when she saw that Nathan had turned around. Once she was fully clothed, she picked the towels up off of the floor and tossed them in her hamper. She walked past him and climbed onto her bed, sitting up against the headboard. "Don't worry; I'm dressed. I'm sure you'd care to know since you're obviously repulsed by me."

He sighed and took a seat on the edge of her bed, facing her. "Haley, don't be ridiculous. You're beautiful."

"Really? I'm beautiful? Is that why you wouldn't touch me last night when you got home? And why you just turned around when you saw that I was naked even though we've had sex and been naked together countless times?" She shook her head and scoffed. "Yeah, I must be beautiful. And don't you dare call me ridiculous. What's ridiculous is you, if you think I'm buying into your bullshit."

"What bullshit, Haley? I'm just trying to talk to you," he countered.

Haley shook her head and looked up at him, her eyes glazing over. "Why won't you just tell me what's really going on, Nathan? Are you not okay with me having these babies? I really thought we had talked through that."

Nathan scooted closer to her and reached for her hand, encasing it in his own. His other hand moved to rest on her stomach, and he rubbed it gently. "I am more than okay with you having these babies, Haley. I told you that, and I meant it. We did talk through it."

"Then what is it?" she questioned. "Why do you keep shutting me out and avoiding me? I know I'm not exactly the most exciting person to be around right now, but-"

"Haley, it's not you," he said, interrupting her. "I'm just…I'm trying to deal with all of this, and I really don't know how to."

"So talk to me," she begged him. "We should be going through this together, not separately."

He closed his eyes and nodded. "I know that, but I don't know how to be around you right now, Haley. When I look at you now, I'm reminded of how much all of this hurts and how much more it's going to in the future. I know how hard that must be for you to hear, but-"

Haley shook her head, stopping him. She pulled her hand away from his as well, using it to push his other hand off of her belly. "No, I really don't think that you do," she said calmly. "Nathan, it hurts me that you would rather stay out all night and get drunk than talk to me about how you really feel." She paused, watching him as he stared at his hands on his lap. "Do you think this is easy for me, Nathan? Do you think I enjoy sitting on my ass every day doing nothing but waiting…waiting to find out if these babies are going to be okay. Because it's not, and I know that you know that it's hard for me. And that's what makes this hurt so much more. You know how much I'm hurting right now, and it feels like you just want to make it worse."

"I'm not trying to hurt you, Haley," he replied, looking up at her now.

She bit her lip and shook her head again. "I just need you to answer me, okay? Why are you being like this? Why did you push me away last night, and why did you lie to me this morning?"

"Haley, I didn't know about yesterday. I forgot, and I know that sucks, but-"

"It's not about that," she interrupted him. "Yeah, it sucked going through yesterday without you, but that doesn't answer any of my questions, Nathan. What are you hiding?"

Nathan looked away from her now and then abruptly stood up from the bed. "I'm not hiding anything, Haley."

"Okay, next question…why did you just lie to my face again?" She spoke a little louder this time.

"You know what, Haley? It would be really great if you could just trust me. Have I ever given you a reason not to?" Nathan shook his head. "I don't have to tell you everything that I do and everything that I feel just because you're having my babies. I didn't sign up for that."

Haley stood up as well and stared at him for almost a full minute before pushing past him. "Fine," she muttered.

Nathan turned around and followed her out of the room and down the stairs. "Haley, what are you doing?"

She turned around abruptly and glared at him. "I don't have to tell you everything that I do, Nathan. Isn't that the agreement?"

"It's not like that," he said quietly.

"No, Nathan. It is like that," she returned. "And if being with me and looking at me is so goddamn hard for you, then why don't you just leave? It's not like you're doing anything but sleeping here anyways."

"I told you before that I'm not leaving you, and I meant it."

Haley turned around again and began walking toward the kitchen. When she made it to the fridge, she pulled it open and grabbed a bottle of water, quickly opening it and taking a sip. "Well, honestly…I think it would hurt less if you were gone. Because seeing you stumble in at three o'clock and watching you reject me is a little too much for me."

"I didn't reject you," he objected loudly. "God, Haley…all I'm saying is that I'm trying. And it's really hard. That's it. I don't want to fight with you."

She rolled her eyes and took another sip of her water. "And you think I want to fight with you?" She capped the bottle and set it down on the counter, running a frustrated hand through her hair. When she opened her mouth again, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't want to fight with you, Nathan. I don't. But I need you to be here for me and be honest with me. I need you to show me that you love me and just tell me what you're feeling. This is never going to work if we can't communicate."

"I know," he murmured. He took a tentative step towards her and then inhaled a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm really sorry. I don't want to keep things from you. I'm not trying to, okay? I'm going to do better."

Haley closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I hope so," she whispered after opening her eyes. She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his torso. "Can you _please _come back upstairs with me and hold me? Just for a few minutes. I'm not as scared when I'm with you."

Nathan nodded, resting his chin atop her head and securely wrapping his arms around her petite frame. "Yeah, I can do that," he whispered. He kissed the top of her head, and then the two broke apart to go back upstairs.

Once in bed, Haley leaned into Nathan's broad chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you yesterday and last night," Nathan said after a few minutes of silence. "I should have been, and I know how worried you are about everything."

Haley sniffled as she let her finger draw random patterns all over his chest. "It's okay," she whispered.

"No it's not," he insisted quietly. "I'm supposed to be here for you and support you, and I've been nothing but selfish. But I swear to you, Haley, it's not going to happen again. I love you."

She nodded against his chest and let out a short sigh. "I probably overreacted. It was just one night. But even before that…" She sat up so she could look at him. "It hurts you to look at me?" she questioned.

Nathan didn't want to explain this to her. He didn't want to hurt her more than he already had, but he had just promised her that he would do better. And God, he wanted to be better for her. "I just…Haley, I still worry about what's going to happen. And I know you're trying to be all optimistic, but I can't be like that. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you, and when I look at you all I can think about is what it's going to feel like when you leave me." He closed his eyes and kissed her temple, holding her face close to him. "I'm sorry that I feel that way, but I just do. I know it's a horrible thing to say, and I wish to God I didn't feel like this."

"That's why you've been avoiding me?" she asked quietly.

He nodded and blew out a long breath. "I know it's a sucky explanation, but it's the truth."

Haley bit her lip and brought a hand up to caress his cheek. She moved her face forward and rubbed her nose against his. "I'm sorry that you feel that way," she whispered with her eyes closed. "I know that this is all really hard for you, and I wish that I could make it better. Just…don't avoid me, okay? Be with me, and talk to me like you're doing right now. Then we'll be okay."

At that moment, he hated that she was so forgiving. He loved it, and he hated it at the same time. She was such a good person, and it just made him think about how much what he did would hurt her. He couldn't tell her. He couldn't hurt her like that, and he knew that Haley wouldn't put up with that from him. It would be the end, and he refused to be the one to instigate that. "Okay," he whispered into her hair. "I'll be here with you…for you."

"Thank you," she whispered back, pressing her lips against his.

Nathan kissed her back and moved one of his hands to rest on her stomach. When he pulled away, he moved his other hand there as well. "You're getting bigger," he observed with a small smile.

She returned the gesture and placed her hands over his. "I am," she agreed quietly. "It didn't feel like this last time. I never got this big."

He kissed her again, wanting to taste her lips on his. "Well I'm glad they're growing fast," he commented after pulling away.

"Me, too," she whispered.

* * *

Lucas knocked on Haley's door later that day and then walked in when she called that it was okay. He walked to the end of her bed and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking around the room. "Where's my loser brother? I thought he was coming to talk to you." He was going to choose his words carefully. Nathan could have told Haley everything, but then again he could have told her nothing. He didn't want to overstep his bounds.

Haley used the remote to turn the television off and then nodded. "Yeah, he came to talk to me. He's out picking up food."

Lucas nodded. Well, she didn't look incredibly pissed off or like she had just murdered someone, so he figured she didn't know about Nathan's escapade with Rachel. "How are you?" he asked, deciding to play it safe.

"Bored," she blew out with a long breath. "But that's pretty much all I am these days. What's up with you? How are you and Brooke?"

"We're good," Lucas replied, a smile immediately coming to his face at the mention of his girlfriend.

Haley returned the smile. "You're good for her, Luke. I'm glad she found you."

He nodded and then added, "She's good for me, too." Both were silent for a few moments, and then Lucas decided to step it up a notch. "How'd your talk with Nathan go?"

"Um, it was okay," she responded with a slight shrug. "We…I mean, he told me what was bothering him, but I still feel like he doesn't want to be here."

"He loves you, Hales," Lucas assured her.

She nodded and bit her lip but stayed silent for several minutes. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know where he was last night?" she asked. "It's just that…he didn't get home until like three in the morning, and when he got here he was drunk. And then he lied to me about where he was going this morning. Every time I called him out on it, he changed the subject or dodged the question."

Lucas had never been a good liar, and it was in times like these that he wished he was. He pushed his hands deeper into his pockets and averted his eyes, staring at his feet. "Look, Haley…it's not my place to get involved with whatever you two are dealing with. I'm here for you, and I'm here for Nathan."

Haley eyed him suspiciously and then let out a bitter laugh. "So you know something," she stated obviously. "And clearly, if both you and Nathan are keeping it from me, it's not anything good. Lucas, please. I need to know what's going on with him. He still won't open up all the way with me."

Lucas shook his head, glancing up at her but quickly looking away again. "Hales, it's not my place," he repeated. "I-"

"You're right," Nathan interrupted, walking into the room with a bag of takeout in his hand. He set it down on Haley's desk and crossed his arms over his chest, staring his brother down. "It's not your place."

Lucas sighed. He wasn't going to apologize to his brother; he'd done nothing wrong. In fact, he was still pissed off at Nathan for betraying Haley the way he had. So he damn sure wasn't going to apologize. Instead, he walked closer to Haley and bent down, kissing her on the cheek. "Call me if you need anything, okay, buddy?"

Haley gave him a small smile and nodded. "Thanks for coming to see me, Luke."

"Thanks for keeping these guys safe," he responded, placing a hand on her belly. He rubbed it gently and then gave her a smile before leaving. He and Nathan shared one smoldering look but said nothing to each other.

Nathan shut the door behind his brother and then brought the food over to the bed, getting it out for Haley.

Haley watched him silently. Once again, he wasn't mentioning the elephant in the room, even though he knew that Haley had just asked Lucas about it. Clearly he was hiding something. She wanted to ask him about it, but what good did that do her last time? He wasn't budging.

Nathan handed her food to her, and she muttered a thanks.

She tried to eat, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. "Nathan," she said a moment later.

He looked up from his food. "Yeah?"

"I need to ask you something, and I swear I'll trust your answer and never speak of it again. But I need you to be honest with me."

He nodded.

Haley picked at her food, trying to find the right words to ask her question. When she was ready she raised her eyes to meet his. "Did anything happen last night that you…that I should know about?"

Nathan finished chewing the bite in his mouth and then swallowed. "No."

* * *

He seemed to see her everywhere he went now. It had been a week, and every time Nathan left the house he saw Rachel. How he hadn't met her before the other night was a mystery to him. He kept thinking about it, too…what he had done. Admittedly, it could have been worse, but still…Haley didn't deserve that from him. When he kissed his fiancée now, all he felt was an onslaught of guilt. And the rest of the time, what he had done played over and over again like a bad movie in his head.

_As soon as the door was closed, Nathan's lips were on Rachel's. He swiftly turned her around so that her back was pressed into the door, and he glued his body to hers. He heard her moan and felt the vibrations of it against his tongue. He moved his hands from Rachel's back to her ass and lifted her up, allowing her legs to wrap around his strong waist. He was already hard, and he could feel her core pressing tantalizingly against his erection. He released a moan of his own and then pulled back, quickly pulling her top over her head. His eyes stayed glued to her breasts as he asked, "Where's the bedroom?" _

_Rachel pointed and directed him efficiently, and a few seconds later they were in her bedroom. She pulled his shirt off and then kissed him again, this time even more fervently._

_Nathan dropped her onto the bed and then climbed on top of her. He continued kissing her, letting his hands cup her breasts through her bra, and then all of a sudden he stopped. _

Haley.

_As quickly as he had stopped, he started up again and reached for the front clasp of her bra. He undid it effortlessly and then threw the material across the room. He left a trail of kisses down her neck and chest and then began ravaging her breasts. At almost the same moment, he felt her hand trailing down his chest to cup his arousal, and he let out a groan. He felt her lips on his ear and heard her whisper, "You're so big." He pulled back to smirk at her and then continued on his path from her breasts to her stomach. When he reached the spot just above the button on her skirt, he stopped again._

Haley.

_He couldn't get her out of his head, but he kept going anyways. He popped open the buttons of her skirt and slid the denim down her legs, tossing it somewhere behind him when he was finished. He felt her hands undo his pants hastily and then, not even bothering to remove them, delve into his boxers and wrap around his cock. He closed his eyes and groaned. It felt good; he couldn't deny that. But it didn't feel right. It didn't feel as good as it would have if it were his fiancée touching him. _

Haley.

_He closed his eyes tighter and tried not to think about it…the fact that he was betraying his fiancée. But that word just kept ringing out through his mind. Fiancée. They were engaged. They were committed to one another. He was going to be a father. She was the mother of his children, and she was probably still awake, wondering where he was and what he was doing. But still, he tried to push it all out of his mind. He kissed Rachel again and then told her, "I'm going to fuck you." He said it more for himself than he did for Rachel. He wanted to convince himself to do this. He didn't want to be inside of Rachel and be thinking about Haley. _

Haley.

_He saw her smirk at his words, and he returned the sentiment. He kissed her again and ground his erection into her hip, and then he moved his lips to her ear. "I'm going to fuck you so hard." Again, he was trying to reassure himself that he could do this. He could fuck her without caring about what it would do to his relationship with Haley. He could revert back to his old ways and forget that he ever loved Haley. He could forget about her and the way that he felt when they made love. He could forget about all of the pain he was feeling because of her. But it wasn't because of her, was it? It was because of the fact that he couldn't live without her. He didn't want to. And at that thought, he felt himself freeze up._

Haley.

_He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't have sex with another woman. He was engaged to Haley; he loved her. He wanted to be with her, no matter how much it hurt. Almost instantly, he rolled off of Rachel and gathered his shirt from the floor, pulling it over his head. "I have to go," he muttered. She looked confused as hell, but he didn't care. Without another word, he rushed out of her apartment and back to his car. He got in and started driving, but after a while he pulled over. He slammed his hands into the steering wheel and closed his eyes, wishing he could take it all back. Avoiding Haley this past week, going to that club to get drunk, and going back to Rachel's apartment with her. It didn't matter that he hadn't fucked her. That didn't matter. He had cheated on Haley, and for that he would never forgive himself._


	20. Chapter 20

**Wow. I didn't plan on updating today, but after reading everyone's reviews I felt that I should. Thank you for all of the positive reviews and the ones that gave me a little bit of constructive criticism. I've got to say, though, there weren't many of the latter. It's clear to me that not a lot of people have faith in this story and where it's going, and that's fine. It also doesn't bother me or put me down when people bash my stories, if that's your thing. Just know that there IS a difference between constructive criticism and just flat out insulting my writing. **

**With that said, I understand where you're all coming from, and if you aren't interested in this story anymore then that's your thing. I completely respect that decision, and I'm thankful for your dedication up to this point. I feel that, in the interest of continuing this story which I am still completely in love with, I should let you guys know where I stand.**

**Nathan cheated on Haley. He's an ass. I get that, and trust me when I say that I hate him just as much as you guys do right now. But I do understand where he's coming from. It doesn't make it right, and it doesn't make it forgivable. I understand that a lot of you hate that I've destroyed the so-called perfect relationship between Nathan and Haley that we've seen thus far, and I can respect that. But life isn't perfect, and if I wrote it that way I would be a fraud. Cheating is a big issue, and I know that a lot of times it ruins the relationship, but I've got plans. In no way was Nathan a saint before this whole thing with Rachel, but he was trying. So was Haley, and I honestly don't think I've written her as being selfish. I, at least, don't see it that way. They're both hurting, and to be honest Nathan never really had the time to transition from "bad guy" to "good guy" completely. Their relationship has survived a lot in a short amount of time, and yeah…Nathan shouldn't have cheated on her. But it's a real issue, and these are imperfect people that make mistakes. That's the way that I see it, and I just wanted to let everybody know. I'm continuing this story because I love it and hopefully some of you still do as well. Again, those of you that have given up on this story…thank you for your reviews and dedication thus far.**

**I'm not trying to be a bitch, and I hope that it's not coming off as that. If I'm being honest, sometimes it's good to be stepped on creatively. It makes me think about the future, but it also reminds me of the reasons I'm writing this story in the first place and makes me reconsider why the characters are doing what they're doing. **

**Sorry for the long note. I really hate taking up space with it, but I felt it was necessary after last chapter. Sorry that this chapter is a bit short. I didn't have as much time as I'd hoped. And thanks again for all the reviews and support!**

* * *

Nathan's guilt only grew over the next month and a half, and he tried to silence it by spending more time with Haley and being there for her whenever he could. He was now able to kiss her without being bombarded with a vivid memory of what he had done to her. And he had managed to somewhat quell the worries and fears he had when he was with her. He tried to look at it in a different light, thinking instead that when he was with her at least he knew she and the babies were safe. He wished to God he had found that perspective before that night with Rachel, but it was what it was. He'd done what he'd done, and he would feel guilty about it until the end of time.

Haley's fear of losing her babies dwindled a little bit with each passing week. She was still scared, but she was genuinely feeling confident in her ability to carry them to a healthy date. Her mother explained to her that last time, nothing had been diagnosed or realized until after the miscarriage. This time, it had been, and with the supplements and rest she was taking she could probably deliver these babies. Lydia was a huge support for Haley during these six weeks. When Nathan was gone for basketball, she spent a lot of time talking to her mom and Brooke. They were both great for calming her down when she let her emotions get the best of her, but she found that that didn't happen as often anymore. She had become stable, and she was so thankful for it.

Nathan was a big part of it, too. He had been so good to her during the last six weeks, and it didn't seem like he was doing it just to appease her. She felt like he really wanted to be there with her and the babies, and it was soothing. When he was in town he stayed with her as much as he could. Even if most of their days were spent apart, his nights were spent with her, and that's what counted in her mind. When he was with her and his arms were wrapped around her, Haley felt at peace. She slept soundly with his body next to hers.

They'd been talking more, too. She felt like Nathan had finally begun to open up with her and was no longer suppressing his fears and anxieties about losing her. They were both scared; their fear was inevitable. But talking to each other about it and giving each other reassurance helped tremendously. They were close again, and with that closeness they were able to start joking around together again. It wasn't uncommon for their conversations to be lighthearted when they weren't talking about the pregnancy. Things were good.

"Are you excited?" Nathan asked, reaching for Haley's hand from the driver's seat. He kept his eyes on the road as he spoke to her.

Haley smiled and squeezed his hand. "Yeah, I kind of am. I didn't know we'd make it this far, but I'm excited. Are you? You still want to know, right?"

Nathan nodded and returned her smile. "Definitely."

Their hands stayed joined for the duration of the car ride, and once Nathan had parked he rounded the vehicle to get Haley's door. He offered his hand, and she took it, using it as leverage to help herself out of the car. She was big. She would definitely get bigger, but her belly had grown a lot in the last six weeks. At her last checkup, the doctor had told her that the babies were both growing rapidly, which in her situation was a good sign.

Once she was out, Haley closed the door behind her and took Nathan's hand, intertwining their fingers. They walked inside and signed in together and waited in the waiting room for about ten minutes before she was called back.

They waited for the doctor for another few minutes before the man burst through the wooden door and greeted them. "I assume from the looks on both of your faces, you're hoping to find out the sex of your babies today?" he guessed.

Nathan and Haley shared a smile and then nodded.

"Well we'll see if they're in the right position and then go from there."

Haley lifted her shirt, closing her eyes briefly when the man began rubbing the cold substance onto her stomach. She thought she would be used to it by now, but it still shocked her every time.

Once they got going, the doctor stared at the monitor for a long time without saying anything.

"Is everything okay?" Haley asked hesitantly, stealing a glance at Nathan before gluing her eyes back to the screen.

The doctor turned around and gave them a quick smile. "Yes, everything's fine. I'm sorry. I was just waiting for one of your babies to move. I can only see the sex of Baby A." He turned back around to face the monitor, and after another few minutes he spoke. "There's Baby B," he said to himself. He turned his head. "Still want to know?"

"Yes," Nathan and Haley both said, squeezing each other's hands.

The doctor still watched the monitor carefully as he spoke. "It looks like Baby A is a boy," he told them. "B is still in a bit of an odd position, but I'm fairly certain she's a girl."

"Oh, my gosh," Haley whispered, looking up at Nathan.

He smiled brightly and leaned down to kiss her. It was short and sweet, but he continued to rest his forehead against hers. "A boy and a girl," he whispered.

Haley raised one hand to caress his cheek. "A boy and a girl," she whispered back.

They shared another brief kiss before the doctor interrupted them, and then they finished the rest of the checkup. Much to both Haley and Nathan's satisfaction, everything was still fine. They made their next appointment before leaving, and they headed straight home. Neither said anything this time, but they stole a few glances at each other. When their eyes met they traded smiles. When they got back to Lydia and Jimmy's, they went up to Haley's room.

She kicked off her shoes and sat down on the bed, releasing a long sigh. "You know, for once I am really glad to be in this bed. My back is killing me."

"Really?" he asked, concern marking his features. He took a seat behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, beginning to gently massage the muscles there. Soon he moved down to her back and applied a bit more pressure.

Haley released a soft moan. "Wow, that feels really good," she said a moment later. She turned her head and gave him a smile. "Thanks, Nathan."

He smiled in reply and continued the massage for several more minutes. When he stopped she turned around to face him, and he leaned his forehead against hers. "We're going to have our family, Hales," he whispered.

"I know," she replied in a whisper, the sides of her face turning up into a smile. "I can't wait."

"Neither can I," Nathan said, slowly bringing his lips closer to hers. He felt her tongue part his lips and moaned when it came in contact with his own. Their mouths stayed melded together for a long time before they broke the kiss, and Nathan glanced at the clock on her nightstand. "Are you hungry, baby?"

"I'm starving," she answered. "I would ask you to cook for me, but um…that didn't work out very well the last time."

Nathan rolled his eyes, still smiling at her. "I've got practice soon, but I can go pick something up for you if you want."

She waved it off and shook her head. "No, that's okay. I can get my mom to make me something."

"Are you sure?" he double-checked.

She nodded. "Yeah, go to practice. I'll see you later."

"Alright," he relented, standing up from the bed. "Do you need anything else?"

"I'm fine, babe," she assured him. "Just one more kiss before you go." She winked at him.

Nathan laughed and nodded, leaning over to place a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you. I'll be back after practice."

"I love you, too. Don't work too hard."

He turned his head and smiled as he left the room, picking up his bag on the way.

* * *

"Oh, my God. I am so pissed off right now!" Peyton exclaimed as she entered Haley's bedroom.

Haley sat up, furrowing her brow as the blonde began pacing in front of her bed. "Why? What's going on?" The only response she got was an angry groan. "Peyton," she said slowly.

Suddenly she stopped and faced her friend, placing her hands on her hips. "Jake," she mumbled.

For the first time Haley noticed that Peyton was crying, and she stood up to go comfort her friend. She placed her hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "What about Jake?"

"Exactly," Peyton muttered.

"Peyton, what happened?"

The blonde shrugged and then wiped at her eyes. "Well you know how we've been kind of dating for the last few months?"

"Yeah," Haley said slowly.

Peyton sighed. "Well I went over to his room earlier to see if he wanted to hang out, and there was some naked girl in his bed."

Haley furrowed her brow again. That didn't sound like Jake. "Did you ask him about it? Maybe his roommate was with her or something."

Peyton's eyes went wide, and she started flailing her arms out beside her. "He was on top of her!"

Haley audibly gasped at that.

"Yeah," Peyton replied. "He was on top of her, and he heard me come in and started running after me apologizing. And when I started yelling at him, he said that what we have isn't even a real relationship. And yeah, sure…we never really put a label on it, but I thought we were more than that, you know?"

Haley nodded, pulling her friend into a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Did you at least slap the bitch he was in bed with?"

Peyton let out a small, distressed chuckle. "No, I didn't really think about it. I slapped him though."

"Well good for you," Haley replied as their embrace ended. "He probably feels terrible. Did you tell him how you feel?"

"No. Should I have?"

Haley nodded. "Yes, I think so. If you don't tell him, how is he supposed to know? Maybe he feels the same and is just scared. You know how guys are."

"Not your guy," Peyton muttered.

Haley allowed herself a small smile at that. "Talk to him, Peyton. Work it out."

* * *

"Would you ever cheat on me?"

Nathan froze in the doorway, his bag still slung over his shoulder from practice. "Wh…what?" he stammered.

Haley sighed from her place on the bed and shook her head. "Nothing, I'm just being a girl."

Nathan put his bag down and shut the door behind him. "Where did that come from?" he inquired. If his brother had told her anything, he'd be a dead man by morning.

"Peyton walked in on Jake with some girl," Haley muttered with a shake of her head. "I mean, we've both seen them together. And they've been together for months. I just can't believe he would hurt her like that. I mean…"

She was still talking; he could hear her. She was rambling about how hurt Peyton was and what a jackass Jake was for cheating on her, even though they weren't in a labeled relationship. The more she talked, the more Nathan felt like he should come clean about everything with Rachel. The guilt that had been steadily eating at him for six weeks now was hitting him full force, and for the first time he wanted to tell her. They shouldn't have secrets, and she deserved to know. She would forgive him, right? She had to.

When she noticed the distracted look on her fiancé's face, Haley stopped talking. Her face became a curious one as she asked, "Nathan? Are you okay?"

His throat went dry, and he licked his lips. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay," she said hesitantly. She stood up from the bed, and when she saw him wringing his hands together she let out a nervous laugh. "Nathan, what is it?"

"Just…before I tell you, know that I love you, okay? You know that, right?" he said, taking a few steps toward her.

"Yeah, I know," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. She was really starting to get nervous now. He looked so serious.

"And I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you," he added.

Haley closed the remaining distance between them so they were directly in front of each other. The end of her baby bump was pressing against his abs, and she furrowed her brow. "Nathan, just tell me. You're kind of freaking me out here."

He took a long, deep breath, and closed his eyes for a second. It was when he opened them that he realized there was no going back. He had started this conversation, and he was going to have to finish it. Automatically he wished he could go back five minutes and just not say anything. He didn't want to hurt her, but a large part of him still felt like she deserved to know.

"Nathan," Haley said again, dropping her arms to her sides now.

He took another deep breath. "Do you remember that night that I came home drunk? It was really late, and it was the day you-"

"I remember," she interrupted him. She did not like the direction this conversation was heading. She didn't like that he was bringing up that night after so much time had passed. They were in a good place. They didn't need to rehash all of that.

"Okay," he said slowly, staring at the carpet behind her. He couldn't watch her face for this; he just couldn't. "That night…I…went to a bar. And I was drinking a lot, and I met this girl."

Now she _really _didn't like where this was going. Her eyes were already filled to the brim with tears, and he hadn't even admitted anything yet. In that moment she prayed to God that he wasn't going to say what was on her mind. "You met a girl?" she asked in a small voice.

He nodded slowly. "And look, I was really drunk. I mean, _really _drunk. And I know that doesn't change anything or make it better, but-"

"Did you sleep with her?" she asked, looking him in the eye. She was already dreading the answer.

"No," he answered immediately, meeting her eyes now. "I didn't. I swear. But-"

"But?"

Nathan sighed quietly and shook his head. "I am _so _sorry, Haley. It didn't mean anything. I was just so scared about you and the babies, and I was wasted, and I just freaked out, okay? It wasn't supposed to happen."

She continued to stare at him and furiously blinked away her tears. "What did you do?" she whispered.

Nathan closed his eyes but reopened them a second later. He could see the tears in her eyes, and he didn't want to finish telling her everything that had happened with Rachel. But he knew he had to, and he knew he had to look her in the eye for the remainder of the conversation. He owed her that much. "I…we met, and we went back to her apartment."

Haley bit her lip and closed her eyes, waiting for the rest of it.

"We kissed, okay? We kissed, and we went to her bedroom, but I didn't sleep with her. I stopped it before it got that far."

Opening her eyes, Haley looked into the blue orbs of the tainted version of her fiancé in front of her. She didn't want to ask her next question, but she had to know. "You kissed as in you kissed, or you _kissed_ as in clothes came off?"

"Yes, some clothes came off, but nothing else happened," he told her. "I swear to you, Haley. You have to believe me."

Haley shook her head and let out a bitter laugh. "I really thought that we were, like, rounding this corner of everything. Is this…is this why you've been so nice to me these past few weeks? Why you've spent all your free time here and offered to do things that you didn't do before?"

"Haley, of course I felt guilty," he stated. "But no, that's not entirely why I did those things. I haven't been here for you the way that I should, and I was trying to fix it. I wanted to make this easier for you."

"By screwing some random from a bar?" she spat out.

"Haley, I did not screw her," Nathan said calmly. "Please forgive me. I love you."

She licked her lips and lowered her head to look at her engagement ring. After a moment she shook her head and pulled it off of her finger, grabbing Nathan's hand. She put the ring in his hand and closed his fist around it. "I can't," she whispered.

"Haley, please," he begged. Her hands were still holding onto his fist that held her ring. "Please. I am so sorry. I want to be with you."

Haley looked from their hands to his face and whispered back, "I want to be with you, too, Nathan. I do. But this is too much. I can't marry someone who isn't faithful to me. I won't do that to myself."

"Haley-"

"Nathan," she interrupted him, grabbing his attention. She gave him a soft smile and pulled her hands away from his fist, raising them to cup his face. She used her thumbs to stroke his cheekbones as she spoke. "I love you," she whispered. "I will always love you. And you will always be the father of my children, but now…you can't be anything more than that to me."

Nathan blew out a long breath and shook his head. Quickly stashing her engagement ring in his pocket, he placed both his hands on her waist. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "Please, Haley. Just-"

"You kept this from me for six weeks," she said, a disappointed look on her face. She moved her hands from his face down to his neck. "For six weeks, you lied to me. And when I asked you if there was anything that happened that night that I should know about, you told me that there wasn't. You lied to my face, Nathan, and I just…I can't understand why you would do that. It's not justifiable."

Nathan leaned his head down and pressed his forehead against hers. "She didn't mean anything, Haley. You're the reason I couldn't go through with it…you and our children."

"Sorry for salting your game," she mumbled.

He let out a quiet sigh. "You know I didn't mean it like that. Haley, I don't ever want to be with anyone but you, okay? I know that what I did with her was a mistake, and I know that I shouldn't have been drinking that night. But you're my girl. You're my fiancée."

"No," she whispered. "No, I'm not. Not anymore."

Closing his eyes, Nathan shook his head. His hold on her waist tightened. "This can't be the end for us."

"Look at me," she whispered. When he complied she continued. "It's not the end." She pulled his hands away from her waist and placed them over her stomach, holding them there. "This is a beginning, and maybe that was the whole point of us. Maybe our entire relationship has been so that these two lives could be brought into this world. And maybe that's all it's ever been. We will always be connected, Nathan, and there's nothing I can do about that. But other than these babies, I can't have anything to do with you anymore." She dropped both his and her hands from her belly and took a step back.

"Isn't there anything I can say?" he pleaded, stepping close to her again. "Isn't there something I can do to get us back, Haley?"

"No," she replied with a small shake of her head. A moment later, when he hadn't said anything, she repeated herself. "No."

And he knew there was no going back. The defeated and resolute look on her face told him that much. She didn't need to tell him to go; he knew that's what she wanted. Walking over to her dresser where some of his clothes had been stored, he threw a few things into his bag and tossed it over his shoulder. Before he left he walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, leaving a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. He didn't wait for her to say anything back; it wasn't necessary. He walked to her bedroom door, opened it, and left.

She was glad he'd taken the hint because she wasn't sure she would have had the strength to tell him to leave. Not after that long conversation they'd just had, in which she hadn't allowed a single tear to fall. Now, though, there was no point in hiding it. She walked across her room and closed the door he had just walked out of, and as soon as it shut her knees gave out and she fell to the floor. Her body shook, and she sobbed, letting everything out that she had been holding in. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. They were supposed to get a happily ever after. He wasn't supposed to cheat on her. He wasn't supposed to want anyone else.

She didn't pay attention to the time, but she sat on her bedroom floor crying for what felt like hours. When that time had passed she pulled herself to her feet and walked to her bed, immediately climbing underneath the covers. She curled her knees up as far as they would go and rested her hands on her belly as a fresh batch of tears began to consume her. If she was honest with herself she was glad she was crying because it was the only way she would get to sleep without him by her side.

* * *

Nathan went to his spot on the roof of his mother's restaurant. It was late; no one was there, but he had the key. He leaned out over the ledge and breathed in the night air. He'd hoped that it would be able to calm him down like it always had when he was a kid, but it was a waste. The crisp air and the light of the moon did nothing to stop the sadness and the anger he felt bubbling up inside of himself…anger towards himself. Thinking back to their conversation, he silently wished that she would have hit him…smacked him…yelled at him…done something to physically punish him. He sure as hell deserved it, and in his situation there was nothing self-deprecating about wishing that for himself.

But of course Haley hadn't hit him. Of course she hadn't yelled. She was a good person, one that maybe he hadn't even deserved in the first place. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the engagement ring he had placed there earlier and clenched it in his fist. It was supposed to be on Haley's finger. They were supposed to be together forever. They were supposed to raise their babies together. A boy and a girl…damn, the day had turned around. That morning he and Haley had both been so happy to find out they were getting the family they had talked about for so long. And then he'd ruined it. By telling her the truth, he had ruined it.

But he was glad he'd told her. As horrible and as painful as the consequences were, she deserved the truth, and he didn't want to be the one that lied to her. Briefly, he wondered if she would be able to sleep tonight. She'd told him several weeks ago that she couldn't sleep without his arms around her. It was the same for him. He'd definitely come to realize it these past six weeks. He couldn't sleep comfortably without his arms wrapped around her…without knowing that she was safe and taken care of. And he didn't want to.

Haley was his world, and he wasn't just going to give up on that. Releasing her engagement ring from his death grip, he placed it on the ledge of the roof and stared at it for a long while. He wasn't going to give up on her. He wasn't just going to throw in the towel on their relationship. He would never do that. And if it took him fifty years to prove to her that he loved her and could be faithful to her, then he would do it. But for now, he would give her the space she desired. He would give her whatever she needed. But she was right…they would always be tied together by their children. They would always have them in common, and he was so thankful for that. Those two children were a piece of him and a piece of her, and he knew that they would be perfect. He couldn't wait to see them and hold them and play with them. He still didn't know how good of a dad he would be, but just like in his relationship with Haley he would try. He would be better than in his past. As he pocketed the ring again, that's the promise he made to himself. He would be a better man, and he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

It was nearly the middle of the night when he left his mother's restaurant, and Nathan went to his and Lucas's dorm room. He'd barely been there at all in the past month and a half, but he'd be lying if he said he missed it. What he missed was Haley's parents' house. That was a real home, and he felt safe there.

He entered the room quietly, seeing Lucas asleep on his bed, and closed the door behind him. He set his bag down and collapsed onto his old bed, instantly seeing Haley when he closed his eyes. He tossed and turned for almost an hour before finally falling asleep, and when he woke up his arms were wrapped around his pillow. He squinted when he raised his head and was able to make out Lucas's figure staring down at him.

"Making love to your pillow?" Lucas joked, sending his brother a goofy grin.

Nathan didn't return the gesture, nor did he care to. He sat up and stretched his arms, stifling a yawn.

Lucas watched him, seeing clearly that he wasn't in the mood to joke. "Why'd you sleep here, man? You must've gotten in pretty late."

Resting his head in his hands, Nathan mumbled, "I told Haley."

"You told Haley what?"

Nathan raised his head and gave his brother a pointed look. He wasn't going to say it out loud again.

"Oh," Lucas said slowly. "Wow. How'd she take it?"

Nathan scoffed. "I'm here, aren't I?"

Lucas took a few steps forward and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm sorry, man. She'll forgive you eventually."

Shaking his head, Nathan reached into his pocket and pulled out Haley's engagement ring. He set it on his nightstand. "No, she won't."

* * *

Haley awoke when the aroma of food entered her nostrils. She was in a shitty mood, but she really was hungry. She'd sort of skipped dinner last night in her haste to forget about what Nathan had admitted to her. She sat up and smoothed out her hair as best she could before wrapping a robe around herself and walking downstairs. When she entered the kitchen, her mom and all three of her sisters were standing around talking. She could see eggs, pancakes, bacon, and toast spread out over the counter, and she grabbed a piece of bacon before plopping herself down on a stool.

Lydia took a sip of her coffee. "Where's Nathan?" she questioned, peering around the doorway to see if he was coming in behind Haley.

"Not here," Haley answered. Her voice was emotionless, and she took another bite of bacon. Reaching forward, she poured herself a glass of orange juice and took a sip.

The other four women in the room shared a few confused glances. Eventually Quinn spoke up. "Where's your ring?"

Haley looked up briefly and then looked down at her naked ring finger. "Um, it's…not here," she replied, using the same answer she had for the first question. When she finished the piece of bacon in her hand, she leaned forward to grab a plate and filled it with eggs, toast, and more bacon. "Thanks for breakfast," she mumbled.

They all watched her devour almost the entire meal before Lydia spoke up again. "Haley, what happened? Why isn't Nathan here?"

"If you insist," Haley muttered, dropping her piece of toast onto her plate. She looked up at her mother before she spoke. "Let me just run through my day yesterday with you. I woke up. I was in Nathan's arms. I was happy. We went to the doctor and found out that we're having a boy and a girl. Great, right? It was a great day. Peyton came to see me and told me that she found her boyfriend, or whatever the hell they are, in bed with another woman. When Nathan got home last night, I asked him if he would ever cheat on me. It wasn't a serious question. I think it was just my hormones making me act like a paranoid fiancée. But then he got all weird and said he had something to tell me. So then he proceeded to confess that six weeks ago, the night that he stumbled in at three o'clock in the morning drunk as a skunk, he cheated on me with some random bar slut. Fun, right? Needless to say, my day got a lot worse." She knew she was rambling, and she had gotten through all of that in less than a minute, but she didn't want to spend an hour explaining it. Now they knew, and now they could attempt to help her deal with it.

"Oh, my gosh," one of her sisters whispered.

"He wouldn't," Lydia said.

Haley let out a bitter laugh and took a sip of her juice. "Yeah, I thought the same thing. Guess we're both stupid."

"Haley-" Lydia began.

"You know what?" her daughter interrupted her. "I changed my mind. I really don't want to talk about it. I'm going to go shower." She slid off of the stool and made her way up the stairs. Once she was in the shower, she curled up just as she had the night before, and cried. She loved her family; she really did. But right now, when this was all still so fresh, she needed to deal with it in her own way. And she needed to be alone.


	21. Chapter 21

**I can't thank you guys enough for your support with these last few chapters! It is so awesome, and you guys sticking up for this story means a hell of a lot to me. So school is back! It's been two days, and I'm already stressed out. But I'm making more time for writing than I did last semester, so the speed of my updates shouldn't take a huge hit. Your reviews have been amazing lately, and I really hope you guys enjoy this latest chapter!**

* * *

When Haley was finally able to pick herself up off of the floor, she proceeded with her shower and then went back to her room. Once she was dressed, she got back in bed and immediately fell asleep. She knew it would happen. All the crying from her hour-long shower had worn her out, and she felt even more exhausted than the night before. She slept for half the day and probably could have continued into the evening, but she felt her shoulder being shaken and reluctantly opened her eyes. Confusion marred her features as she stared up into the face of the man that, just yesterday, had been her fiancé. She squinted. Surely he wasn't really in her bedroom…not the day after everything had changed for them. "Nathan?" she muttered, sitting up and squinting more. Yeah, it was definitely him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Nathan frowned when he heard her voice. She sounded really tired, and he cursed himself for waking her. He was squatting on his knees next to her bed, holding the nightstand for support. "Sorry," he whispered, looking away sheepishly. "I just figured you'd be hungry, so I brought you some food from that Chinese place that you like."

The crease in Haley's brow deepened. "Why?" she couldn't help but ask. "I told you that I couldn't have anything to do with you, apart from these babies." She was definitely hungry, and Chinese sounded amazing. She hadn't eaten since breakfast because she had been asleep, but she didn't know what to make of his being there. She needed space.

"I know," he responded. "I get that, but that's why I'm feeding you. And your mom told me you haven't had anything since breakfast, so I'm glad I came." He let out a short sigh. "That's honestly why I'm here, Haley. I know you don't want to see me, but while you're pregnant it's my job to make sure you have everything you need. I'm not giving that role up just because we aren't together."

Haley nodded hesitantly and then reached for the bag that was sitting next to him on the floor. She began getting the containers out and then looked up at him when she noticed that he was still squatting by her bed. "You can go now," she said quietly.

"Right," he muttered, standing up. "Sorry. Bye, Haley."

She didn't respond, but she waited until he was out of the room to look up again. Shortly after, she began eating. It meant a lot that he still possessed such a strong desire to be there for the babies. She was glad he hadn't given up on them when she ended their relationship, but it didn't mean she was ready to be around him. When she looked at him, she felt betrayed, and she didn't see that changing anytime soon. Their relationship was over; their time was done. And even though she wasn't at all okay with that yet, she wanted to be. She didn't want to look at him and feel love. She wanted to hate him, but that wouldn't be right. She could never hate the father of her children, no matter what he did to her. She ate in silence, eventually turning the television on in an attempt to get her mind off of him. Their conversation from the night before kept replaying over and over again in her head, and she just wished it would stop. She just wanted it all to stop.

When Nathan made it downstairs, he tried to slip out before anyone could talk to him. When he'd spoken to Lydia earlier, she hadn't mentioned his and Haley's break up, but she obviously knew. He was thankful that she hadn't brought it up though. He didn't want to hear how disappointed her family was in him. Verbal explanation wasn't necessary for him to know that they were upset. Just as he reached the front door and placed his hand on the knob of the door, a voice stopped him.

"Nathan," Brian called from down the hall. He jogged into sight and then stopped a few feet behind Nathan. "Can I talk to you outside for a second?" he asked calmly.

Nathan turned around hesitantly and gave Haley's brother a short nod. "Sure, man." He opened the front door, and they both went outside. They stood in the grass of the yard, and just as Nathan was about to ask Brian why he wanted to talk to him, he felt a fist connect with his face.

Brian watched Nathan grab his jaw, and he flexed his hand. Hitting him had hurt, but he couldn't help himself. Haley deserved better. "I had to do that," he said a moment later.

Nathan wiped the blood from his lip and shook his head. "I understand."

"I don't think so," Brian replied. He shook his head and laughed sardonically. "Ever since Haley was a little girl, we've protected her…Dad…me and my brothers…even my sisters. She's the baby, you know? And even though she was always more mature than the rest of us, we thought it was necessary. And when she got raped, it just got worse. That's when I realized that she actually needed my protection. That's when I realized that the rest of the world didn't see how special and awesome my little sister is. And for a long time, Haley wasn't the person she used to be. But then you came along, and she found herself again." He blew out a long breath, glaring at Nathan. "I liked you, man. I liked you, and I didn't want to believe that you would hurt Haley like this. I guess I was wrong." He turned around and stepped onto the porch.

"I'm sorry," Nathan called, reaching up to rub his jaw again. "I never wanted to hurt her."

Brian turned around and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Not as sorry as you'll be if you're still here when my other brothers arrive. I'm the nice one," he warned before turning back around and going inside.

Nathan hadn't thought he could feel worse about how he had betrayed Haley, but Brian had definitely just proved him wrong. He wasted no time in leaving the house, but after that he just drove around. He wondered briefly if going to see Haley and bringing her food had been a mistake, but he pushed that thought away. He was doing it for his kids, and there was nothing wrong with that. They needed to be healthy and continue to grow properly, and that's all he was worried about. Did he wish Haley would have asked him to stay? Yes, but he didn't expect it. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since their break up. Right now his focus was on his children and doing everything he could to ensure that they would enter the world in a healthy state and that their mother would be there for them for a long time after that. That's what counted. That's what mattered.

* * *

"Alright, whose ass do we have to kick?" Brooke exclaimed, entering Haley's bedroom. Peyton was right behind her and looked just as curious as the brunette she was following. They saw Haley sitting up in her bed and both went to sit on either side of her. "Lucas told me that Nathan's been staying with him in their dorm room for the last week. What the hell happened, and why haven't you talked to us about it?"

Haley felt guilty for keeping her friends in the dark about her split with Nathan. She knew Lucas didn't think it was his place to say anything to Brooke unless he was asked to, and Haley appreciated it. She wasn't trying to shut her friends out, but she needed time alone to reflect on everything and just take it all in. She was still kind of in shock, even after a week, and she hadn't discussed it fully with her mother or her sisters either. Maybe now was the time to open up about it. Brooke was her best friend, and Peyton was a good friend, too. She had trusted Haley enough to tell her about Jake, so maybe she could open up about Nathan with both of them. At that thought, Haley turned to Peyton and asked curiously, "How'd it go with Jake?" She hadn't seen the blonde at all in the last week. Brooke had stopped by once, but they'd just eaten lunch together, and the conversation had been light.

Peyton smiled at the mention of her boyfriend's name. "I took your advice. I told him how I feel, and we are definitely dating now. There's no mistaking it." She shrugged. "You were right. He was scared, and he explained it all really well. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing if I were a guy."

Haley smiled softly and nodded at her friend. "That's good, Peyton. I'm happy for you."

"Yeah, it's great for P. Sawyer," Brooke cut in, interrupting their sentimental moment. "But what's going on with you, Tutor Girl? Nathan's been sleeping in the dorms for a week, you've barely called to talk to me at all, and your mom says you've been looking depressed. She said you won't talk to her."

"Not to mention the fact that you never told us how your appointment went," Peyton added. "Unless you guys are keeping it to yourself. That's cool, too."

Brooke shot an incredulous glance in Peyton's direction. "Don't listen to her. It's not okay. What is it?" She placed a hand on her best friend's belly and smiled, momentarily forgetting the real reason she'd come over.

Haley smiled wide this time. She knew Peyton and Brooke would be excited about the sex of the babies, and she herself couldn't get enough of saying the words out loud. Even though it transported her back to that day, it was the good parts that she was reminded of. "A boy and a girl," she told them, still smiling.

Brooke retracted her hand from Haley's stomach and brought it up to her mouth to stifle the squeal she let out. "Oh, my gosh! I'm so happy for you!" She leaned forward a moment later and threw her arms around her best friend.

Peyton did the same, making it a group hug. "Me, too, Hales. That's awesome, dude."

"It is," Haley agreed with a nod. She returned her friends' hugs.

Once they pulled away, Brooke noticed Haley's smile disappear, and she was instantly reminded of the main reason she had decided to visit today. "Alright, what's going on with you and Boy Toy? Why isn't he staying with you? Lucas wouldn't tell me anything."

"Good," Haley replied. "You should hear it from me."

Peyton placed a hand on her friend's knee. "What's going on, Foxy?"

Haley sighed heavily. It was still hard for her to say. The only time she had said the words out loud was a week ago to her mother and sisters, and at that time she had just wanted to get it out so that she could go be by herself. This would be the second time, and it was easier and harder at the same time. She looked up at them and bit her lip. "Do you remember, like, seven weeks ago when Nathan didn't get home until the middle of the night? And he had been drinking?"

"Yeah," Brooke said slowly. This didn't sound good.

"Wait, what?" Peyton questioned. "I never heard about this."

Haley nodded. "Yeah, well…we kind of fought about it, but we worked through it. At least, I thought we did." She shook her head and scoffed. "The day of the doctor's appointment, you came over to talk to me about Jake. And after you left, I guess the irrational or hormonal part of me started wondering about me and Nathan. And I…God, I never for a second thought he'd say yes, but when he got back from basketball I asked him if he would ever cheat on me."

Peyton's eyes got big. "He said yes?"

Deciding not to hold back in this conversation with her two closest friends, a few tears rolled down Haley's cheeks. This was her time to get it all out and actually talk to someone about it. Even if they couldn't help her, at least she could get it off of her chest. "He said he had to tell me something." She shook her head. "He was so serious, and it was really starting to make me nervous. But then…I don't know. We had this long talk, and he told me that that night he went to a bar to get drunk and met a girl."

"A girl?" Brooke asked, a little flare to her voice. "Tutor Girl, do I need to go find him and kick some ass?"

"Brooke, nobody's kicking anybody's ass," Haley replied. She looked down at her hands and began twisting her pinky ring meticulously. "Apparently they went back to her apartment and…made out or something."

"Or something?" Brooke asked. "What does that mean?"

Haley shrugged her shoulders. "He said they kissed. And then I asked him if any clothes came off, and he said yes. But they didn't sleep together."

"And you believe him?" Peyton inquired.

With a nod, Haley replied, "Yeah, I believe him. I mean, he was coming clean. There wouldn't be any reason for him to not tell me everything."

Brooke tapped her chin. "Okay, when you say clothes came off…does that mean they made it to the bed? Were pants off or just tops? Was her bra still on? Did they only kiss on the lips or…other places, too?"

Haley held both her hands up to stop the tirade of questions. "I don't know, Brooke, and I don't want to. I'm sure he would have told me if I would have asked, but I really don't care to know. The more I know, the more I'll picture it happening, and I'm already doing that enough."

"So are you two broken up or just taking a break?" Peyton asked.

Haley held up her left hand so they could see her naked ring finger.

"I'm so sorry," Brooke muttered, embracing her friend again. She motioned for Peyton to do the same. "Please tell me you slapped the hell out of him though. It'd make me so proud."

Haley shook her head against her friends' shoulders. Once the embrace had ended, she spoke. "Honestly, I don't think that would have made me feel any better. I was just trying so hard to hold it together in front of him, you guys. But hurting him won't make me hurt any less. He's the father of my babies, and I don't want this to be any harder than it has to be."

Peyton nodding in understand and then asked, "Do you regret being with him? I mean, leaving the babies and the pregnancy out of it…do you wish you would have waited for something better?"

With a sad smile, Haley shook her head. "I can't regret loving him because he helped me find myself again. And I don't regret that he was the first guy I let in physically because he made it perfect for me. So no. I don't regret it, but I'm also not going to put myself through that ever again." She paused, looking down at her hands again. "What hurts the most is that, even with everything we've been through and everything we've accomplished together, he didn't feel like he could come and talk to me. He said he got drunk because he was scared and freaking out about losing me and the babies, and he just didn't know how to handle it. I just don't understand why he didn't come to me. We've always been able to be honest with each other. He's usually better with it than I am."

Brooke let out a short sigh and looked at her friend sympathetically. "Look, in no way am I saying that what Nathan did was okay. I'd kick his ass into next week if you gave me permission to. But maybe he really did only do it because he was scared. Lucas has told me a lot of stories about Nathan before he met you, and none of them are good, Hales. He was a completely different guy. He was a jerk. And with the exception of this current situation, he hasn't been that way with you at all. Maybe you should talk to him about it again."

"No," Haley muttered. "I can't. I don't want him to give me more reasons for why he did this. Even if he couldn't come and talk to me about it, he didn't have to go get drunk. He didn't have to go back to some girl's apartment and hurt me like this. He could have talked to Lucas or Jake or somebody else. God…he could have talked to Grant, and it would be a hell of a lot better than this."

"Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive him?" Peyton asked softly.

A few tears fell down Haley's cheeks, and she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," she whispered. "Right now, no. I'm going to focus on these babies and keeping them healthy. Our relationship isn't the top priority anymore. It can't be."

* * *

"What did I miss?" Nathan said as he rushed through the door to join Haley and her doctor. "Sorry, my last exam ran late."

Haley glanced at him but then returned her attention to the doctor. Things with Nathan hadn't changed much. She was twenty-four weeks along now, and in the last three weeks he had continued to bring her food a few times a week. Even when he said hi to her, though, Haley didn't speak. She didn't feel the need to. She appreciated what he was doing for the babies, but their relationship was still nonexistent. She had meant it when she said it, and she was sticking to her word.

The doctor looked at Nathan briefly. "You didn't miss much. Haley just had a few questions, and I was getting ready to answer them." Swiveling his chair back around to look at Haley, the doctor gave her a small, reassuring smile. "Mild abdominal pains here and there are not uncommon in your condition, Haley. Where would you rate the pain on a scale from one to ten?"

Haley thought for a moment as she rubbed her stomach. "Probably just a two or a three. It's more of a discomfort than it is a pain, but I still wanted to mention it. I didn't know if that was supposed to be happening."

"That's no cause for alarm," the doctor replied. "I'll check you out a little more thoroughly just to make sure, but if it really starts hurting you need to give me a call immediately. The bigger your babies get, the thinner the walls of your uterus get, and if you start to feel a lot of pain then we'll probably have you come in."

"And then what?" Nathan spoke up, crossing his arms over his chest. "Does that mean that's when she'd have the babies?"

"Only time will tell, but there's a good chance. At the rate that your uterine walls are deteriorating, Haley, that great deal of pain could mean that your uterus is close to rupturing. If that's the case when you come in, we'll have about forty minutes to get the babies out or you could lose them."

"What about Haley?" Nathan asked. "What happens to her if that's going on?"

The doctor sighed. "I don't want to tell you anything that's going to scare you. Uterine ruptures are rare, and chances are it's not going to happen to you, Haley. But if and when it does, we'll be prepared. The babies will have forty minutes, like I said, and if we get them out in time there's no reason to believe they won't be perfectly fine. As for you, the pressure it puts on the body is great, and even with a caesarian it'll take a lot out of you. You'll be weak for a while. I don't want to keep you in the dark about anything. There have been cases in which the rupture was fatal to the mother, but those were severe situations, and as long as we catch it and get the babies out before it ruptures you should be fine."

Nathan uncrossed his arms and shoved them both into his pockets. He didn't like this…any of this. It didn't matter that he had found out fourteen weeks ago that he could lose Haley and the babies. It didn't make it any easier to deal with, but he was keeping himself together for them, just as he had promised to himself.

"Okay," Haley replied simply. She was checking off everything the doctor had told her in her mind so that she wouldn't forget any of it. When the time came, she didn't want to make any mistakes, and she really couldn't afford to.

"Is that the only kind of specific pain you've been having?" the doctor asked.

"Um, my back's been hurting worse than it did a few weeks ago," Haley answered. "But that's normal, right? I mean, I've been growing a lot, so it's bound to hurt worse."

The doctor nodded. "Yes, that should be happening. I know that as your body weakens, it's becoming more painful, but I'm afraid there's not much we can do for that end of the deal."

She nodded. The doctor asked her several more questions about how she was feeling, how much she was sleeping, and how much she was walking, and she answered them all. They did an ultrasound, and he conducted a few other tests just to make sure things were still running smoothly. He confirmed that certain parts of her body were getting weaker with the later stages of pregnancy, but he also explained that nothing he saw was cause for alarm. Everything was happening gradually, and in their situation that was better than her just crashing all at once.

They were there for about twenty minutes after that, and they made their next appointment at the front desk. The closer Haley got to the end of her pregnancy, the closer together her appointments would be, so her next one was in two weeks. None of the medical staff expected Haley to carry the twins to full term, and neither did she. It was good for Haley's health but not so much for the babies. Once they were done, Nathan walked out with Haley. "Who brought you?" he asked.

"My mom," she mumbled in reply. "She wanted to come in with me, but I told her to just come back and pick me up."

"I can drive you home, if you want," he offered.

Haley glanced at him and shook her head. "No, that's fine. I think I see her car."

Nathan nodded, placing his hands securely in his pockets. "My last exam is done," he told her.

Basketball season had ended the month before, and now school was coming to a close for everyone as well. Graduation was in a couple of weeks, but Haley really didn't want to be hearing about it. She hadn't been able to finish her degree, and she wouldn't be graduating. She was happy to miss out on things for the reasons that she had to, but she still didn't want the fact that everyone but her was graduating to be advertised daily. She was happy for all of her friends, even Nathan. They had all worked really hard to make it to graduation, but it's not like she was going to be able to watch them graduate. She was on bed rest. She had been for fourteen weeks, and even though she was damn tired of it she had gotten used to it. She knew things were going to get hectic once the babies were born, so she was trying to enjoy it and just revel in the peace and quiet that bed rest provided her with.

"Good for you," she told him genuinely with a nod in his direction. It was actually hard for her to talk to him, and she tried saying as little as possible, but she didn't want to be a bitch either.

Nathan tentatively took a step closer to her on the sidewalk. They were both silent for a moment before he spoke. "I miss you."

She lifted her head and looked at him, glaring slightly. "Don't say that to me."

"Haley-"

"Yep, that's definitely her car," she interrupted him. She crossed the short distance to her mom's car and got in the passenger seat, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath once she was sitting down.

"Is everything okay?" Lydia asked.

Haley nodded. "Yeah, everything's fine." As her mom started the engine and started driving home, Haley opened her eyes and looked out the window. He couldn't just tell her that he missed her and expect that to mean something. It didn't. It couldn't. And even if it did, she wouldn't let him know that. She wouldn't let him know that every night she lay awake for hours, just thinking about what they used to have. She wouldn't let him know that every time she stepped foot in a shower now, she was reminded of their first meeting. She wouldn't let him know that she missed him. They were done. It had been over for a month now, and they had barely spoken. He had probably already moved on with some whore…maybe the one from the bar that night. She could still see it in her head when she thought about that night. Nathan flirting with another woman…kissing another woman…touching another woman. It was too much, but she couldn't get it out of her head, even after a month. She tried to focus on the pregnancy, and for the most part it worked. But when she let her guard down and allowed herself to think about him, there was no going back until all of her thoughts had been addressed.

* * *

"So where are you going to stay now?" Lucas asked, watching his brother pack up his stuff from the dorm.

"That apartment I told you about," Nathan replied. "I got it."

"And you're okay with that?"

Nathan looked up. "I'm not okay with it, Lucas, but I'm trying to be." He shrugged. "It's close enough to Haley and the hospital that if anything happens, I can be there. And it's not like I can go stay with her."

"Yeah, how are you doing with that?" Lucas asked. "Being apart from her, I mean."

"It sucks," Nathan said with a sigh. "I'm just trying to give her space…or time…or whatever it is that she needs from me. But it's hard. It's been a month, and I've gotten nowhere. I just don't know what to make of it." Again, he shrugged. "All I can do is show her that I'm here for her and the babies and hope that one day she can forgive me."

Lucas nodded. "I think that's a good plan, Nate. So you haven't been…you know…you haven't _been_ with anyone since you guys broke up?"

Nathan looked at his brother incredulously. "No. That wouldn't make any sense at all. And I'm not screwing this up again. I don't want anyone but Haley."

Lucas held both his hands up. "Okay, I was just making sure."

"And if you must know, I haven't _been _with anyone in almost four months," Nathan added quietly.

"Four months?" Lucas asked, his eyes almost doubling in size. "I've never known you to go four days without sex."

Nathan shook his head. "I can't do that to Haley. She's the one that I want, and unless I can prove that I'm good enough to be with her I don't know if I'll ever get her back."

"It's not about how good you are, Nate," Lucas replied. "Haley knows that you're a good person. From what I've heard from Brooke, this whole situation is more about a lack of communication and trust. It's just going to take time."

Nathan nodded and blew out a deep breath, zipping up the two large bags resting on his bed. Everything was packed, and now he would be living by himself. He didn't want that; he wanted to be with Haley. But he knew she wasn't ready to be with him and trust him again, and he wasn't about to push her into anything. "So have you seen her?" he asked his brother a moment later. "Is she okay? Obviously she doesn't really talk to me anymore, and everyone else is too pissed to say anything. How is she?"

"I've seen her," Lucas confirmed with a short nod. "Honestly, man, she doesn't talk to me much either. I mean, she's always cordial, but every time I go over there I feel like she's just waiting for me to leave so that she can be alone. I know she's opened up with Brooke though, so she's got someone to talk to. She's tough."

"Yeah, I know," Nathan replied. He didn't need anyone to tell him that Haley was tough. She had survived a lot, and most of the things she'd been through would have broken him. But Haley seemed to stay the same kind, respectful woman that she always was. Through everything, she was strong, and it was one of the things that Nathan admired most about her. "I'd better get out of here," he continued. "I'm going to drop this stuff off at the apartment and then go check on Haley. Her parents are both out tonight, and Lydia asked me to bring some food by and see how she's doing."

Lucas nodded and gave his brother a quick hug. "Alright, man. I'll see you later."

Nathan hoisted the two large bags over his shoulders and walked out the door Lucas opened for him. It didn't take long to get them dropped off, seeing as the apartment wasn't far from campus. Once he had a few of his things unpacked, he took a quick shower and then left again. He picked up food for Haley and then went to the house, finding the spare key underneath the potted plant on the porch. He let himself in, as Lydia had told him to, and carefully made his way up the stairs. When he was just outside Haley's door, he heard her voice and stopped. He could see her lying on her back on the bed with her iPod beside her and the ear buds placed securely in her ears. He didn't know what song she was listening to, but it was slow, and she was singing along beautifully. Her hands were locked together atop her large belly, and her eyes were closed.

He watched her for a few minutes. It was at least long enough for that song to end and another one to begin. The second was slightly faster, but she still sounded magnificent. Everything about her voice was so fluid and graceful, and he couldn't get enough of it. He didn't want her to be angry at him for watching her, though, so he stepped fully into the room. Once he was close enough to her bed, he cleared his throat loudly.

Haley heard the noise over her music and pulled the ear buds out of her ears, leaning up on her elbows. "Nathan?"

He waved at her sheepishly and gave her a crooked smile. "Sorry if I scared you. Your mom called and said they were out for the night, and she wanted me to come check on you. I brought you food, too," he said, raising the pizza boxes in his hands to show her.

"I can see that," Haley mumbled, pushing herself up so she was sitting against the headboard. She wrapped her headphones around her iPod and set it down on her nightstand before turning to face him again. "You're lucky I'm always hungry." She motioned for him to bring her the food.

Nathan walked towards the bed cautiously and then set the boxes down next to her, opening one so she could grab a slice. "Alright, well you're okay, right? I know you don't want me to-"

"Stay," she interrupted him quietly, swallowing the first bite of her pizza. When he looked at her she blushed and shrugged her shoulders. "Well I know you don't expect me to eat two whole pizzas by myself. I know I'm fat, but I'm not a pig."

Nathan smiled softly and shook his head. "You're not fat. But are you sure, Hales? I don't want to push you into spending time with me."

"Who's pushing?" she replied. "Sit down. Eat."

He nodded and did as she told him, sitting down and grabbing a slice of pizza.

It was silent for several minutes, and when Haley finished her first piece of pizza she looked up at him. "I'm sorry I've been so cold to you these past few weeks," she said quietly. "I don't mean to be, but-"

"You think you've been cold to me?" Nathan questioned, swallowing the last bite of his piece. "Haley, you haven't, okay? Not once. I understand." He opened the box for her and watched her take another slice before doing the same.

Haley shook her head, picking a pepperoni off of her pizza and eating it. "I just don't know how to talk to you right now. I don't know if that's harsh or if it's what I'm supposed to be feeling, but that's how it is." She gave him a small smile. "Nathan, I'm proud of you for graduating. I am. And I appreciate everything you've continued to do for me and the babies, with the food and coming to my appointments and checking up on me."

"I would never miss one of your appointments," he replied sincerely.

She nodded. "I know that, and I don't want you to ever miss one." She paused, taking a moment to chew and then swallow. "But the rest of it…coming over to the house to see me, offering me rides, bringing me food…like I said, I appreciate it. And I know my parents do, too. But could you…not do those things? They mean everything, and I know that you're mostly doing it to look after the babies, but I can't keep seeing you every day. I said I needed time away from you, and a month isn't going to cut it. I need you to keep your distance for a while."

Nathan sighed softly. "While you're still pregnant? That makes me nervous, Haley."

"I know it does," she answered him. "I know, but if you want to check on me you can just call my mom or my dad or Brooke. Trust me; they all know how I'm doing. You can even call me every once in a while, but I can't keep doing this. I can't keep seeing your face like this."

It broke his heart that it had come this far…that she didn't even want to be in the same room with him. It bothered her that he came over a few times a week to check on her and the babies. He understood, and he was going to respect her requests, but it still hurt. "Okay," he whispered after a second's silence. "Okay, I'll do that."

"Thank you," she said in the same quiet voice. They continued eating in silence, and when they were both full one of the pizzas and a slice from the second was gone. Haley really had been hungry.

Nathan looked up at her nervously, rubbing the palms of his hands over his jean clad thighs. "Can I touch your stomach?" he asked quietly. "I know it…probably sounds weird, and if it's too weird that's fine. But I've missed feeling them."

Haley closed her eyes briefly and bit her lip, eventually nodding. "Yeah, you can," she whispered. In all honesty it was a little weird, and she was nowhere near ready to have him touch her, even if it was just her stomach. But she understood what he was saying, and she knew that this was purely about the babies. She loved feeling them beneath her fingertips, too. There was nothing like it, and she knew that nothing would top it until she could actually hold them in her arms. It was an amazing feeling.

Hesitantly, Nathan raised both his hands and placed them on her large stomach. He smiled instantly and gently rubbed the skin through her thin shirt. He really had missed it. Knowing that his and Haley's children, beings that had been created out of their love for one another, were growing inside of her was an amazing thing, and feeling them was even more indescribable. It made him feel close to Haley, too, but that's not what tonight was about. She had asked him to back off, and he would. Right now, though, it was about the babies. He looked up at her, a thought crossing his mind. It was actually something he had been thinking about a lot lately. "You know, we never talked about names," he said softly.

She nodded and bit her lip. Her body was reacting to his touch; it had been so long since she'd felt it. She was glad he had spoken because it gave her something else to think about. "I know. I think about it sometimes though. Do you?"

Nathan nodded and continued to softly smile, his eyes glued to her stomach. His hands were still now, but his thumbs were still caressing the rounded skin. "I was thinking James for our boy," he admitted a moment later. When he saw the look on her face, he shrugged his shoulders. "I know we have to do that together, but I just figured I'd mention it. It's okay if you don't like it."

Haley shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. She was rather emotional these days, and even though she and Nathan weren't together this moment was tender. Picking out the names that their children would carry for the rest of their lives was a heady thing, and it was something she had thought about since she was a little girl. "No, no. I like that," she whispered. "James."

"Like Haley James," Nathan joked, a crooked smile on his face.

Haley let out a small laugh and nodded. "James Scott." She paused, thinking for a moment. "James Lucas Scott."

Nathan looked up at her, furrowing his brow. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, placing her hands on her belly but making sure they didn't touch his. It seemed childish, but it's what she needed. "Yes, I'm sure," she whispered. "Lucas is your brother, and he has become a really good friend to me. He's a great guy. I can't think of anyone better to name our son after."

"Our son," Nathan whispered, still enamored by the words.

Haley allowed herself a small smile at the look on his face. "What about our daughter? Does she get a name?"

He nodded. "I was thinking you should pick it though. What do you think?"

She bit her lip. She was a little nervous about asking him to give their daughter this name, but she wanted it. It meant a lot to her, and she knew Nathan would understand that. "I've…kind of had my daughter's name picked out since I was twelve," she admitted in a whisper.

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? What is it?" he inquired.

She nodded shyly and removed her hands from her belly, beginning to wring them together. "Well my…my grandmother died a few years before that, and we were really close. She and my mom were, too. My mom is so much like her." She smiled slightly at the thought. "And I kind of am, too. And I was just…I don't know. If you don't like it, we don't have to do it."

"Hales," Nathan said quietly, rubbing her stomach soothingly. "What was her name?"

"Lucy," she whispered, raising her head to meet his eyes. If he hated the name, she wanted to make sure she didn't miss it on his face. She didn't want him to tell her he liked it just to appease her.

Nathan smiled at her. He wished he could kiss her to give her reassurance about the name she had picked out for their daughter, but he couldn't. Instead he removed his hands from her stomach and picked up one of her hands, bringing it to his lips to place a soft kiss on the back of it. He could see the action had made her uncomfortable, so he placed her hand back down on the bed. "I love it, Hales," he told her seriously. "It's perfect."

"Really?" she asked, wanting to make sure. Naming their kids was a really big deal, and she didn't want Nathan to feel like he had to side with her just because she was hormonal or they weren't together.

He nodded and gave her another smile. "Really. And I was thinking," he added, "that her middle name should be after Brooke. She and I haven't always seen eye to eye, and she's put me in my place a few times, but she's your best friend. She's been here for you when I haven't been, and I think it would mean a lot to her."

A few tears fell down Haley's face, and she raised her hands to wipe them away before nodding. "Yeah, definitely. And it means a lot to me that you would think of that." She paused. "And you know…technically Brooke is just Brooke, but I'm thinking Brooklyn. It sounds better. Plus, if it's directly after her I'm thinking Brooke might let it go to her head," she joked.

Nathan laughed. "Probably. Lucy Brooklyn Scott."

Haley smiled brightly at that. Hearing Nathan say their daughter's full name was an incredibly good feeling. Part of her was still worried about losing her babies, with everything the doctor had explained to them earlier, and she knew that it would be even harder now. Their children had names now, and it seemed even more real than it had before. "Jamie and Lucy," Haley whispered, closing her eyes as she said the words.

Nathan returned her smile. "Jamie and Lucy," he repeated.

They sat there for a few minutes, both thinking about the huge decisions they had just made about their children. Looking at the clock on her nightstand, Haley stifled a yawn.

Nathan stood up, taking it as his cue to leave. He needed to start giving her her space now anyways. "I'll go," he told her. He picked up the two pizza boxes, stating, "I'll take care of this. I'll put the rest in the fridge so you can have it for breakfast."

Haley granted him with a small smile. "I love cold pizza," she said, as if he didn't already know. "Thanks, Nathan. Just…I don't mean anything by the whole space and time thing. It's just what I need right now.

He nodded and walked to her door. "I understand, Hales. I'm happy to give you whatever you want. Good night."

"Good night," she returned, watching him go. She lay in bed for a long while, just thinking, and then she got up to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth for bed. When she was comfortably under the covers again, she placed her hands on her stomach and smiled. "Lucy and Jamie," she whispered. "Mommy loves you." And even though things with Nathan weren't healed yet and there were still risks for herself and her children, Haley fell asleep quickly. The contented look remained on her face into the night. Nothing else mattered. She couldn't wait to see her children for the first time and hold them both in her arms. They were her family, and even if she hated to admit it right now so was Nathan.


	22. Chapter 22

**So it's been a few days! I wish I could have gotten this out sooner, but school & basketball have both been insane. I apologize for the wait, and I sincerely hope that the next one doesn't take six days to get out. This one's mostly Nathan, and there's not quite as much dialogue as usual, but it's the way I needed this chapter to be. It's a pretty intense one, so enjoy! Thanks for all the reviews for Chapter 21, they were awesome!**

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_Nathan's eyes shot open, and what he saw and felt terrified him: nothing. His upper body rose quickly from the bed, and it was only when he leaned back on his hands that he realized the sheets were wet from his perspiration. He took a quick glance down at his bare chest, and sure enough a thin layer of sweat could be seen gleaming on his body. His breaths were coming quickly. He moved his hands all around on the mattress, feeling for his fiancée, but she wasn't there. His shaking hands only felt more damp sheets and then dry, cold ones. She wasn't there. Where was she? She was supposed to be in bed. She was supposed to be resting. Quickly throwing the covers off of his overheated body, Nathan placed his feet on the floor and stood up. After his first step, though, he realized that the floor was wet, and he looked down. His eyes widened. There was blood all over the hardwood floors, and he was just walking around in it. He felt nauseous at the horrible sight and immediately became more nervous about where his fiancée was. Was that her blood? Was it his? Was it the blood of their children? No, it couldn't be; it was too soon. She was only twenty-seven weeks pregnant. It was far too soon. _

_Although the feeling was horrid, Nathan continued walking. He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, trying to block out the feeling of the liquid squishing between his toes. It was everywhere. As he reached the door that led into the hallway and threw it open, he could see the blood in the hallway as well. There was so much of it; there was no way all of that blood had come from one person. He grew more worried and continued walking slowly. He wanted to go faster; he wanted to find Haley, but he didn't want to slip and fall in what looked like the aftermath of a massacre. _

_He reached the stairs and gripped the railing, seeing the trail of blood dripping down the wooden steps. He held onto it tightly as he began his descent. "Haley!" he called loudly, peering around the railing to get a decent view of the downstairs living room. "Haley!" he repeated, louder this time. He reached the bottom of the stairs and began walking faster, even though the floors down there were covered in the red substance as well. He began slipping, but he didn't stop, instead calling her name louder. He checked each room, and every last one of them was empty. He began frantically calling her name over and over again, in a sad attempt to summon her, but it wasn't working. Where was she?_

_After he had checked and double-checked the downstairs, Nathan made it to the front door and threw it open, running onto the porch. Even his calves were bloody now from all the near falls he had experienced inside, but the outside of the house looked pretty normal. There was no blood, and it was sunny out. Nathan called his fiancée's name again but got no response. After a moment, he ran back inside, quickly realizing that his feet were no longer slipping against the hardwood floors. He looked down and found himself dressed in a fancy black suit and tie. Shoes were on his feet, and the blood that he had trekked through just moments earlier had now been completely erased. His forehead creased at the sight. Squatting down, he traced his fingers along the floor, feeling nothing but the coldness of the wood. What was going on? _

"_Nate?" he heard someone say._

_He prayed with everything he had that it was Haley, but he knew it wasn't. It was a man's voice, and besides…Haley didn't call him Nate. It was one of the things he had grown to love about their relationship. Usually the shortening of his name signified closeness and intimacy, but with Haley it was just the opposite. The fact that she was the only one who never called him that made the name Nathan special. It made _her _special. _

_Sure enough, when he rose back to his feet and lifted his head, it was a man he saw. His brother, to be more specific. Lucas was also wearing a black suit, and his hands were tucked deep into his pockets. Nathan peered around him and could see several more people congregated in the kitchen. None of them were wearing anything but black. "What the hell is this?" Nathan inquired roughly, looking at his brother. "Where's Haley? Where are the babies?" _

_Lucas looked at his brother sympathetically. "Nate, everyone's here. I know it's soon, but we're all here to help you through this." _

"_Help me through what?" Nathan nearly yelled. "What's going on? Where's Haley?" _

_Brooke and Peyton both emerged from the kitchen. Nathan looked at them. It was obvious that they had both been crying. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" _

_Neither one of them said anything; instead, they burst into a fresh round of sobs._

"_Nate," Lucas said calmly, removing his hands from his pockets and placing them on his brother's shoulders. "You know why we're all here. You know what happened to Haley." _

"_No I don't," Nathan insisted, roughly pushing his brother's hands away from him. He began shaking his head furiously from side to side. "Where's Haley? Where'd she go?" _

_Taking a deep breath, Lucas looked into Nathan's eyes. "Haley's dead, Nate." _

_Nathan took a full step back and shook his head harder. "Don't you dare say that! Where is she?" _

"_She's gone, Nathan," Brooke spoke up through her tears. _

_Nathan continued to shake his head and stepped back until his back hit the wall. "No. No, she's not. Where are my babies?" His eyes began searching the house again. "Where are Jamie and Lucy?" _

_Tears appeared in Lucas's eyes, and he shook his head sadly. "They're dead, too." _

"_No!" Nathan yelled, his hand finding the knob of the door. "No, they're not!" He pulled the door open and ran outside, bounding down the steps as quickly as he could. He started running and only stopped when he realized he was in the cemetery. He was in front of three graves, and he had to force himself to read the names on them. There was a large headstone in the middle and two smaller ones on either side of it. His eyes filled with tears when he read the three names in front of him._

James Lucas Scott. Haley James Scott. Lucy Brooklyn Scott.

_He read them all, and then he read them again. No, this couldn't be happening. They couldn't have left him. The third time he read through the names, he furrowed his brow and looked down while simultaneously lifting his left hand to his face. There was a gold wedding band on his ring finger. His tears began to overwhelm his eyes and flowed down his cheeks as he took in the gruesome scene before him. His eyes moved behind the headstones, and his breath caught in his throat. There were three caskets sitting behind the graves…a long one in the middle…and two tiny ones next to it. _

"_No," Nathan muttered as he walked towards them. "No, this can't happen. You can't leave me." He stood there for the longest time staring at the caskets. Eventually his legs gave out, and he collapsed on the ground, his sobs shaking his body. _

_And then it was gone. He wasn't in the graveyard, no one was around, and he shot up in his bed again. He moved his hands around the sheets before standing up. He felt the familiar squish between his toes and looked down, his eyes widening at the side of blood. There was more of it this time. "Haley!" he yelled, moving towards the bedroom door._

Nathan shot up from his bed when he heard a loud banging noise coming from the front door of his apartment. He furrowed his brow and checked the time. 3:17 AM. Who the hell was knocking on his door? He stood up, briefly noticing the light layer of perspiration on his bare chest, and walked to the door. He swung it open and squinted at the man in front of him.

"Can you keep it down?" the old man muttered angrily. "Some of us like to sleep during the middle of the night!"

The crease in Nathan's forehead deepened, and he stifled a yawn. "What? Was I making noise?"

"Well I'm not here for a morning jog, son," the old man retorted. "You kept yelling someone's name." He waved it off. "Just keep it down. My wife's trying to sleep."

Nathan nodded, quickly apologizing to the man before shutting and locking the door behind him. He remembered his dream; how could he forget something so vivid and horrifying? But he didn't think he had actually made any noise. It was kind of embarrassing.

When he got back in bed and closed his eyes, though, the dream began replaying in his head. His eyes shot open and he sat up against the headboard. He couldn't go through that nightmare again. He'd been thinking about it a lot in the last three weeks, especially considering the only time he had seen Haley was at her doctor's appointment a week ago. Other than that, they had spoken on the phone twice, and that was it. It was killing him to not be around her, not only because he thrived on her company but also because he was scared to death that something was going to happen to her. Anything could happen. She could pass out, and he wouldn't even be there to help her.

He sat there wide awake for several minutes and then heard his cell phone ringing on his nightstand. Confused, he looked at the time again. 3:42 AM. Who the hell was calling him at almost four o'clock in the morning? He leaned over and grabbed his phone, answering it quickly to stop the loud noises it was making. His voice was still a bit groggy as he muttered, "Hello?"

"Nathan."

It was Haley; he knew it was. Remembering the time, he instantly grew panicked and stood up, cradling the phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he pulled some clothes on. Her voice sounded distressed, and he didn't like it at all. She didn't sound good. "Haley?" he questioned worriedly. "Baby, what's wrong? Is something wrong?"

Nathan finished pulling the shirt over his head and pulled his phone back to his ear just in time to hear her answer. "It hurts," she whimpered softly.

Oh, God. Nathan ran to his closet and pulled out a pair of shoes, pushing his feet into them and grabbing his car keys from the kitchen counter as he sped out of the door. "Where are your parents? Did you call the doctor?"

Haley bit her lip and shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see her. "No," she managed to get out a second later. "Nathan, it hurts," she repeated, her voice a little weaker than the first time she'd said those words.

"I know," Nathan said, still panicking as he climbed into his vehicle. "I know, baby. I'm going to call an ambulance, okay? And I'm on my way."

Haley nodded but couldn't actually form the words to properly respond.

"Haley, are still there?" he asked after a few seconds, speeding out of the apartment complex. "I need you to stay with me, baby, okay?"

She nodded again and then forced herself to speak, even though doing so took an inordinate amount of effort. "Okay."

"I'm going to call the ambulance, and then I'm going to call you right back, okay?" he said.

"Okay," she repeated.

Nathan hung up the phone and tried to keep his eyes on the road as he dialed 911. God, what if she wasn't okay? What if they didn't get there in time? Forty minutes. They had forty minutes. That's what the doctor had told them three weeks ago, and he had repeated it at the last appointment, too. Nathan didn't know if that's what was going on with Haley, but if it was they had to hurry. She was in pain, and the mere thought of it scared him to death. It took no longer than a minute for him to give them Haley's address and scream at them that it was an emergency, and then he was dialing her number again. He heard the receiver pick up but didn't hear her voice answering his call. "Haley, are you there?" he questioned as he ran a red light. The roads were pretty bare anyways. He wasn't going to damage anything. Her parents' house was only a few minutes away. He would be there very soon, and then he could protect her. He could do his best to comfort her and, if nothing else, convince her that she and their children were going to be okay. They had to be.

"Yeah," Haley mumbled. Her eyes were closed, and her head was moving from side to side slowly. It was hard to stay awake. She was feeling a tremendous amount of pain, she was bleeding, and she didn't know what to do. She was scared, but it was impossible for her to show fear when she was experiencing so much physical agony. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter and prayed that Nathan would arrive soon. She needed him. She needed him to make it all go away. She needed him to be there to protect their family.

"Okay, baby," Nathan responded, turning a corner. "The ambulance is on its way, and so am I. Just stay awake, okay? Stay with me."

Haley moaned loudly into the receiver and then bit her lip to try and stop the noise escaping her throat. "Okay," she whispered as she writhed on top of her bed. There was no way she could get up. She wasn't even moving, and it hurt worse than any pain she had ever experienced before.

Nathan glanced at the clock on his radio. 3:46 AM. Four minutes. Four minutes had gone by. He found himself doing the math in his head and subtracting that from the forty minutes the doctor had said they would have. As he continued driving, he decided to keep talking to Haley. It would help her to stay awake, but it would also calm his nerves and make the time it took to get to her parents' house go by faster. "You're going to be okay, baby," he told her softly. "You and our two beautiful babies are going to be okay, alright? I love you. I won't let anything happen to you." He couldn't promise her anything, but he had to say something. He wished that he could control the outcome of the situation, but he realized that this was something he couldn't protect her from. He didn't know anymore than she did what would happen with her and the babies, but she needed someone to be there for her. She needed to hear those words, and he needed to say them.

"I love you, too," she managed to choke out. It didn't matter that they weren't together. She loved him, and in that moment she honestly wasn't sure if she'd ever have the chance to say it again. She needed him to know that he meant everything to her…him and their babies. Even if they could no longer be together, she loved him.

Nathan was tearing up now, and the road in front of him was blurry. He continued to talk to her until he heard her phone abruptly hang up. He was almost to the house, and when he got there he could see the ambulance in the driveway. Haley was already in it, and they were getting ready to shut the back doors. "Wait!" Nathan yelled, jumping out of his car. He ran to the back doors of the ambulance and climbed in, immediately taking Haley's hand in his. No one asked any questions; it was pretty obvious that Haley wanted him there.

It was harder to stay awake now, but Haley was trying. She felt Nathan's hand squeezing hers, and she turned to face him. She could see the tears in his eyes; they mirrored those in her own.

Nathan lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. Then he held it against his cheek and closed his eyes. "It's okay," he whispered, trying with all of his heart to believe the words coming out of his own mouth. "You're going to be okay."

The ride to the hospital was incredibly quick, and once Haley was wheeled away on the stretcher Nathan was left in the waiting room alone. He wanted to sit down, but he couldn't. As he stood, he looked at the clock hanging against the pale wall. 3:53 AM. Now it had been eleven minutes. Nathan leaned against the wall and then slowly slid down it, wiping at his eyes. He hated that he didn't know what was going on. Under normal circumstances he would be in there coaching Haley as she gave birth to their children. But the circumstances weren't normal, and Nathan wasn't in there with her. He knew it was too critical. Maybe Haley was going to be fine. Maybe James and Lucy were going to be fine. But the maybe part is what scared him, and he wasn't okay with that.

He pulled out his phone a few moments later and dialed his brother's number. He knew it was a horrible time to call; it was the middle of the night, for God's sake. But Lucas and Brooke needed to know, and he needed someone to talk to so that he wouldn't just be sitting on the floor staring at the clock as the seconds ticked away.

Lucas gently pushed Brooke off of him and rolled over, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. He furrowed his brow when he saw that it was Nathan. He contemplated not answering it but finally decided to, flipping the phone open. "Yeah?" he mumbled.

"Luke," Nathan said quickly.

Immediately hearing the tension in his brother's voice, Lucas sat up against the headboard, causing Brooke to stir next to him. "What's up, man?"

Nathan squeezed the bridge of his nose with one hand, trying to control his voice as he spoke to his brother. "Haley's at the hospital. I'm here, but I don't know what's going on. She was bleeding a lot, and she was in a lot of pain."

"Oh, my God," Lucas muttered, throwing the covers off of his body and standing up. "Do you want us to come down there?"

Brooke stood up, as well, when she realized that her boyfriend had done so. She didn't know who he was talking to, but it didn't sound good.

"If you can," Nathan responded. "I just…I don't know if I can handle this alone, man. I have no idea what's going to happen. If I…if she…if I lose her-"

"Nate, don't talk like that," Lucas interrupted him. "We're on our way, okay? Try to stay calm."

Nathan closed his eyes and nodded against the wall. "Okay." He pulled the phone away from his ear and closed it, setting it down on the cold, white floor. He ran both his hands over his face and then rested them there for a few moments before looking up at the clock again. 3:59 AM. Seventeen minutes now.

Brooke and Lucas dressed as quickly as they could and rushed to the hospital. Lucas explained what he knew during the car ride, but it seemed like not even Nathan knew the details yet. It didn't take them very long to arrive. In fact, it took them longer to locate the waiting room Nathan was in than it did for them to drive there. They finally found him, sitting on the floor against the wall, his head buried in his hands. "Nate," Lucas called, one of his hands squeezing Brooke's. His girlfriend was in tears, and it seemed as if she couldn't control them.

Nathan uncovered his face and looked up. The tears hadn't stopped, and he was sure he looked like shit, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He just wanted to know what was going on with Haley, Jamie, and Lucy. He was just as worried about his kids as he was about Haley. Since that night three weeks ago when they named their children, the entire experience and the fact that he was going to be a father had become so much more real for him. They were no longer "the babies." They were Jamie and Lucy…they were his and Haley's children. Whether he and Haley were together or not, they were a family. And he couldn't imagine losing either one of his kids before ever even having the chance to meet them. The thought, alone, was heart wrenching. Grabbing his phone from beside him and sliding it into his pocket, Nathan slowly stood up. Before he knew what was happening, his brother had pulled him into a tight hug, and after a second he returned it. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he needed all the comfort he could get. Once Lucas had pulled away, Brooke reached for Nathan, and they embraced as well.

Nathan looked at the clock after Brooke pulled out of their hug. 4:11 AM. He chewed on his bottom lip furiously and continued to stare at the clock as he spoke to them. "The doctor said that if they didn't get the babies out in forty minutes, we would lose them."

Lucas furrowed his brow. "I thought they hadn't told you anything."

Nathan shook his head, moving his eyes from the clock to his brother's face. "Not since I've been here, no. But three weeks ago, at Haley's doctor's appointment, he said that if she started experiencing a bunch of pain then she could rupture. And he said if she was close to rupturing, then they would have about forty minutes to get them out." He continued to shake his head and bite his lip. "It's been twenty-nine minutes, and I haven't heard anything."

Lucas placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "You will," he reassured him. "Let's go sit down…in a chair. I'm sure we'll hear something soon." On the inside, Lucas was freaking out. He wasn't crying like Nathan and Brooke, but he was sure that if they didn't hear something soon he would start. He and Haley had become really great friends, and he didn't want anything to happen to her. Not only did he not want to see his brother and girlfriend go through that kind of horrible pain, but he didn't want himself to have to either. Haley was an amazing person. She had to be okay.

Nathan didn't say anything but followed his brother and Brooke across the waiting room, and they all sat down. He zoned out on their hands for a few minutes. They were holding hands. As he closed his eyes again, he was brought back to the ambulance ride to the hospital, during which he had been holding and squeezing Haley's hand. She was in so much pain; he could tell just by looking at her. And it killed him to know there was nothing he could do about it. As he continued to think about the current situation, his mind ventured back to his dream from less than an hour ago. He was scared…scared that that time in the ambulance was the last time he would ever get to hold her hand. That wasn't okay.

It was almost five o'clock when Nathan heard his name being called, and he immediately stood up, coming face to face with Haley's doctor. The fact that so much time had passed and he still hadn't heard anything was really freaking him out. Did that mean that there were complications? Did it mean that they were all just sitting back there, trying to figure out how to break the news to him? He shook the doctor's hand as the two stepped closer to one another and then asked, "What's going on? How are they?"

The doctor tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it was miniscule. He, himself, was so stressed out from the middle of the night operation he had just performed that he was having a hard time wrapping his head around it. "Mr. Scott, do you remember the talk we had about Haley's uterus rupturing?"

Nathan nodded his head. "I remember."

"It was extremely close," the doctor replied. "It's amazing that she got here when she did, and we were able to get the babies out before it ruptured. So we were actually able to stop it before her uterine walls stretched too far."

"That's good, right?" Nathan asked nervously, wringing his hands together in front of him.

The doctor nodded. "Very good. It's all we could have hoped for in a situation like Haley's. She's going to be unconscious for a while with what her body's been through, but I am very sure that she will be okay. As for the future, Haley will _not _be pregnant again. And if, by some miracle of God, she does end up pregnant again it's not going to be good." He shook his head.

Nathan breathed a silent sigh of relief. Haley was going to be okay. "What about the babies?" he asked a second later. "Are they okay?"

"They're struggling," the doctor responded. "I was more occupied with taking care of Haley, but your son and daughter are in the NICU. They are very small and will probably be there for some time. They're both having some trouble breathing, but just stay positive, son. They're okay for right now, and they're in the best place they could be. Haley is being moved into a private room as we speak, and the nurse will let you know when it's okay to go see her."

Nathan nodded. "What about the babies? When can I see them?"

"I'm afraid it's going to be a little while on that, too, son," the doctor replied. "But as soon as it's okay, you'll know."

Nodding again, Nathan couldn't help but to shake the man's hand once more. "Thank you so much," he breathed.

The doctor nodded. "You're welcome," he replied before turning around and walking back in the direction he had come from.

Nathan didn't go back to sleep. Hell, he didn't even sit down again. He stood against the wall with his arms folded over his chest for an hour and a half before he remembered that Haley's parents didn't know about what was going on. He didn't even know where they were, but he knew they needed to know. Pulling out his cell phone for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, he dialed Lydia's cell phone and waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?" she answered sleepily.

"Mrs. James," Nathan greeted her. "Good morning."

"What did I tell you about that Mrs. James nonsense?" Lydia replied with a light chuckle. She was pretty much the only one who had remained the same around Nathan. It's not that she wasn't angry or upset by what Nathan had done to Haley, but he was the father of her grandchildren. And she could see how much he still loved her daughter. She could also see how much Haley still loved him. It was too much to give up on; Lydia had a feeling. "Now why are you calling me at six thirty in the morning?"

Nathan took a deep breath. "Haley's in the hospital. I'm here. She had the babies."

Lydia shot up like a spring in the bed she and her husband were occupying at her sister's house. "What? Oh, my gosh. Is she okay? Are they okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," Nathan muttered. "They got them out in time, but I haven't even seen them yet. Or Haley, for that matter. They said they'd let me know when I could."

Lydia used her free hand to shake her husband's shoulder roughly. She heard him groan but ignored it. "Nathan, we're leaving right now. It might take us a while to get there, but we're leaving. How did she get to the hospital?" she inquired.

"She called me at my apartment around four. I called an ambulance and then drove over there."

"I'm so sorry," Lydia apologized. "We didn't plan on leaving town tonight, but Haley said she'd be okay without us for a night."

"Alright," Nathan replied simply. He couldn't lie; he was a little upset that Lydia and Jimmy had left Haley alone in the house when she was twenty-seven weeks pregnant. They knew something could happen; they knew she would most likely deliver prematurely. He wanted an explanation but decided now wasn't the time. All he really wanted to do was see Haley and meet their son and daughter. That's all he wanted. When he noticed a nurse approaching him, Nathan looked up. "Lydia, I've got to go. I'll see you when you get here." Without waiting, he hung up and turned to fully face the nurse.

The elderly woman greeted Nathan politely and then led him to Haley's private room. When he inquired about the babies, she told him that he would be able to see them soon. She could tell he wanted more information than that, and she wished she could give it to him, but she didn't know much. Once he was settled in the room with Haley, she exited to give him some space.

Nathan immediately reached for Haley's hand once he was seated by her bed. He brought it up to his lips and left a lingering kiss on the back of it. Unsuccessfully, he tried to blink away the tears in his eyes as he looked at her. He knew what the doctor had told him. "_She's going to be unconscious for a while with what her body's been through, but I am very sure that she will be okay." _And he believed him, but there was still a large part of him that was scared for the future. He wanted her to be completely okay, and he didn't want Haley or their children to have any scars from this. For the first time in a few weeks, he wasn't thinking about how much he missed Haley or how long it had been since he had seen her. He just needed her to be alright.

He smiled softly as he leaned forward, resting his free elbow on the edge of the bed. He still held her hand with his other one. "You did it, baby," he whispered. "I know…that you probably can't hear me right now, but I just have to tell you that I love you. I love you, and even if we aren't together I could never lose you. Not completely. You will always be in my heart." He lifted her hand and kissed it again. "And we have a family now. We have a son and a daughter. And even though I haven't gotten to meet them yet, I know they're beautiful just like their mom. But they need you, and I need you. So wake up soon, okay? Wake up soon so that you and I can go meet our amazing children, okay?" He leaned forward more so that he could kiss her forehead. "I love you."

He continued to talk to her quietly for a long time, until he fell asleep. It was morning, but he clearly hadn't gotten much sleep, and he was tired.

Nathan awoke several hours later when he felt his hand being squeezed. His head shot up from the bed, and he leaned forward to kiss Haley's cheek. Her eyes were open but barely, and she looked absolutely exhausted. It didn't matter that she hadn't had to push in order to have the babies. Everything she'd experienced that morning was clearly taking its toll on her, and she needed to rest.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Nathan squinted and noted the time. 12:38 PM. When he started to pull his hand away from Haley's, he felt her gently pull it back and then squeeze it again.

"Don't go," she whispered, turning her head to face him. Her eyes still weren't open all the way, simply because she was so tired.

"Okay," Nathan whispered back, squeezing her hand in return. He scooted his chair closer and gave her a small, reassuring smile.

Haley licked her lips, finally managing to open her eyes wider. "Where are they? Are they okay?" Her voice was quiet but panicked.

Nathan nodded, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. "The doctor told me they're okay. They're in the NICU. They're struggling, but they're okay. I haven't seen them yet."

"You haven't?" she questioned softly, her forehead creasing.

He shook his head. "They said they'd tell me when I could go, and they haven't yet. I guess they were still working on them."

Haley closed her eyes briefly as a few tears fell. "Are you sure they're okay?" she asked again.

Nathan nodded. "As soon as we can see them we will, okay?"

Haley nodded. "Talk to me," she whispered. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" he inquired.

She shook her head. "I remember going to bed and then waking up in the middle of the night…nothing else."

Nathan told her what he could in the simplest way possible. They talked for about half an hour before they heard the door open. Both looked up to see Haley's doctor approaching her bed. "Haley, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Tired," she replied immediately.

"Any pain?"

She nodded her head. "Yeah, it still hurts."

"Okay," the doctor replied. He began to go through the procedure they had done to get the babies out, just so his patient and the father would be informed. He could tell that Haley was a little confused, so he tried to make it better for her. When he was done explaining everything and checking on her, he turned to Nathan. "Nathan, the nurse is right outside. She'll take you to see your babies now, if you'd like."

Nathan quickly stood up and nodded but then turned back to Haley, squeezing her hand. "What about Haley?" he asked.

The doctor pursed his lips together apologetically. "Haley's still weak, and we can't risk her healing process right now. I'm sorry," he told them. "You'll be able to see them soon, but right now it's too dangerous."

Haley nodded her head disappointedly. All she wanted to do was see her kids. After hearing it from both Nathan and her doctor, she realized that the last few hours had been crazy as hell. The only thing besides Nathan that could erase some of her doubt and fear was seeing her babies for the first time and knowing, without a doubt, that they were okay. Noticing the hesitant look on Nathan's face, she squeezed his hand and then let go of it. "Go," she told him.

Nathan bent down to kiss her forehead. "I'll be back soon, okay? And then I can tell you just how beautiful our son and our daughter are."

She attempted a smile and nodded again. "Okay."

After leaving the room, Nathan was greeted by the nurse and then led to the NICU. He honestly had no idea what to expect. He didn't know much about babies, and none of the ones he had been around were preemies. He knew they were small, but he didn't know how small. He was scared.

The nurse led Nathan to the small glass window that separated the room they were currently in from the more private one on the other side of the wall. She explained to him that the babies were very small, and although he might be a little shocked at first he should remain calm and focused on the positive. They weren't the smallest babies she had ever seen pass through the hospital, but she also knew how young and inexperienced this couple was. She could tell just by looking at his face that he didn't know what to expect, and she felt for him. It was a tough spot to be in. "Are you ready?" she asked after another moment.

Nathan nodded wordlessly. He was still staring through the glass window as they began walking. He couldn't see the babies very well, but they all looked incredibly tiny. He was even more scared now, and as the nurse led him through the doors he took a deep breath. He'd hardly heard anything she'd said in the other room. He was absolutely transfixed by the size of the babies in there.

They walked to the back of the room, and Nathan immediately knew which babies were his and Haley's. It wasn't because of the way they looked but because of the tags where their names were clearly written. He found himself smiling before he even glanced at his babies. Then he took a few steps forward, looking at them through the glass-looking encasement they were in. He didn't know what the things were called, but it didn't look good to him. He would much rather hold them in his arms and feel a healthy weight. He glanced at the nurse after a few seconds. "How much do they weigh?"

The nurse gave him a polite smile and took a step closer, double-checking on the tags before she told him. "Your boy is 3 lbs, 1 oz. The girl is 2 lbs, 7 oz."

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. God, they really were tiny. It was messing with his head a little bit, but he was trying not to freak out. He bent over so he could see them more closely. There were jaundice lights on them, and they were on oxygen. Other tubes were hooked up to their tiny bodies, but even through all of that Nathan could see that these were his children. He felt it in his heart, and he saw it in their tiny little faces. "Hey, Jamie," he whispered, looking at his son. The baby's eyes were closed, and his breathing seemed steady. He couldn't wipe the proud smile off of his face as he looked at them. Turning to the other one, his smile widened when he saw his daughter. "Hey, baby girl," he said quietly. She looked the same as her brother, what with the tubes and the oxygen, but she was visibly smaller.

As he stood up again, Nathan wiped the tears from his eyes and shook his head. Then he turned to the nurse. "Can I sit with them for a while?" he inquired. He didn't know how things there worked, but he wanted to spend time with them. He wanted to memorize their every feature so that when he went back to Haley later, he could tell her all about them. He wished more than anything that she was by his side for this, but she was healing, and that's what she needed to be doing.

The nurse nodded and gave him another small smile, gesturing towards the chair in the corner of the room. "You can pull that up if you'd like. I'll give you some time with them." She turned away, staying in the room as she checked on another baby.

Nathan pulled the chair up in between his two children and sat down. He couldn't believe this…that he was a father. He felt like he was dreaming, but at the same time it was all so real. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and watched them both. They'd move occasionally, and he almost freaked out the first time he saw it. Lucy did it first and then Jamie. It was a small movement, but it seemed so big to Nathan.

He couldn't believe everything that had happened in the last twelve hours. His and Haley's lives had changed so much, and he knew without a doubt that he would do anything to protect his children. Jamie and Lucy, along with Haley, were his world, and he would never give that up. He would be there for all three of them until the end of time, and he would never again do anything to jeopardize that. They came first.


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry sorry sorry. It's been a crazy week. Training, car shopping, babies being born...I haven't had much time to think let alone write. But alas, here is Chapter 23. It's pretty mellow, I think, especially in comparison to the last one. Thanks for all the reviews, and once again sorry for the wait!**

* * *

For a week, neither Haley nor the babies could be moved, which also meant that Haley had yet to see her children. She was still weak and in a bit of pain, but her frustrations far outweighed everything else she was feeling. The doctors and nurses all assured her that as soon as it was safe she would be given the green light. It wasn't reassuring though. Jamie and Lucy were a week old, and from what she had heard from Nathan, they were both still tiny and struggling with their breathing. She was glad that at least one of them was able to see the babies, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't jealous. She honestly felt well enough to go see her children, and she didn't think it was fair that she had to wait. She was their mom, and she wanted them to know her. She wanted to know them.

Since she had been in the hospital, Haley had come to realize that she hated it when Nathan wasn't with her. Even when her parents or Brooke or Lucas were sitting with her, she didn't feel as safe as when Nathan was. She just knew, without a doubt, that he would protect her with his life, and she wasn't sure that she could say that about anyone else. Somehow, even though they weren't together, her love for him was still growing. The way that he had reacted when the twins were born was remarkable to her, and she trusted him with their lives as well. Maybe it was the insanity of that night that had her wanting to be close to Nathan, but either way the need was there. She had always felt safe with him, but that feeling had definitely been kicked up a notch.

Nathan, for his part, spent every waking moment at the hospital. When he wasn't with the babies he was with Haley, and vice versa. He went home early in the mornings to shower and change, and then he came right back. For the most part he spent his days with Lucy and Jamie and his nights with Haley, holding her hand as she slept. He didn't sleep much, simply because he was still incredibly worried about the three of them, but he didn't mind it. In fact, he barely even noticed how tired he was most of the time.

Looking at his watch, Nathan slowly stood from the chair he had been sitting in inside the NICU. He had been there for several hours, and before he left he moved the chair back to the corner as he always did. Then he stood next to each of his children and watched them for another few seconds, making sure they were alright, and then he finally departed towards Haley's private hospital room. It was late, and usually he would have been there by now, but watching his children literally left him in a trance. He was still amazed at how tiny they were, and he wished he could hold them, but that wasn't possible yet. He couldn't even imagine how Haley must be feeling, not having even seen her daughter and son yet. He felt bad for her, but her healing process was going well, so hopefully it wouldn't be too long.

When he reached her room, Nathan opened the door slowly and quietly, in case she was already asleep. But once he had closed the door and turned around he realized she was, indeed, very awake. "Hey," he greeted her, walking over to the chair by her bed. He sat down and kicked his shoes off, encasing her small hand in his own.

"Hey," Haley answered, turning her head to look at him. She gave him a small smile. "How'd it go?"

Nathan furrowed his brow, leaning forward a bit. "How'd what go?"

She looked at him, confused. "Graduation; how was it?"

"Oh," Nathan replied with a small nod. "About that…" he trailed off, averting his gaze.

Haley narrowed her eyes at him. "Nathan, did you not go?" she questioned incredulously.

Nathan let out a short sigh and shook his head, meeting her eyes again. "It just didn't feel right, okay? I didn't want to leave you here, and I didn't want to miss spending the day with James and Lucy. It's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Nathan," she argued quietly, squeezing his hand. "It was your college graduation. You should have gone and had a good time with your brother and your friends."

He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "And what if something would have happened to you or the twins? Then what?"

"They would have called. You know that," she told him.

Shaking his head again, he pushed his chair forward and brought her hand up to his lips, leaving a soft kiss there. "Don't worry about it, Haley. Really…it's not good for you right now. I still graduated; I'll still get a diploma. Being here is what matters to me, okay?"

She still felt bad, but she couldn't say she wouldn't have done the same thing for him and their children. Graduation was really just a formality. "Okay," she whispered, giving him a small smile. "So you stayed with them again?"

He nodded.

"How are they?"

"They're good," he replied. "They're getting stronger. The nurse said we might get to hold them soon."

Haley scoffed slightly. "_You _might get to hold them soon."

Nathan took a deep breath. "I know how hard this must be for you, baby. I'm sorry." He kissed her hand again. "But you'll be able to move soon, too, and then we can stay with them together. It'll be soon; I promise."

She closed her eyes briefly and nodded. When she opened her eyes again, she pulled his hand towards her lips and kissed it. When Nathan smirked at her, she gave him a small smile. "I stole your move," she teased him.

"Fine with me," he replied with a smile. With his free hand, he pushed her bangs out of her face and then caressed her cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she replied confidently. "If only they would believe that."

"They're just doing their jobs," Nathan reminded her. "If they allowed you to move too soon and something happened, they know I would both sue and kick their asses."

Haley let out a light chuckle, but she knew he was serious. Bringing her hand up over his which was still on her face, she squeezed it and smiled at him. "Thank you for being here for us," she whispered. "You're amazing."

Nathan shook his head, untangling his other hand from hers so he was now cupping both sides of her face. He closed his eyes briefly and bowed his head as he spoke. "You deserve so much better than me," he told her softly. "I'm sorry that I ruined us, but I swear I will always be here for you and James and Lucy. You can _always _count on me. I'll never let you down again, Hales."

"I know," she whispered in response. When he looked up at her she repeated herself. "I know."

He smiled softly at her simple words. He still felt guilty every day, and no matter what she said he always would. He had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him in one night, and it was a mistake he would never be able to take back. It sucked, and he hated himself for it, but they still needed him.

"Will you do something for me?" Haley asked a moment later. His hands were still on her face, and now both of hers were covering his.

He nodded.

"Kiss me."

Immediately he furrowed his brow. "Hales, I-"

She shook her head to quiet him. "It doesn't mean that we're back together, okay? But I'm still really scared, and I just need you to do this for me so that I can stop worrying for a few seconds. That's all," she promised him.

He continued to look at her, unsure of what decision to make. He didn't want to kiss her and then have it be one of those things she regretted in the morning. Plus, he knew that if he kissed her he wouldn't want to stop. It had been so long since he had felt her, and it's all that his body wanted. Just like her, it was the only thing that would quell his fears for a moment or two.

"Please, Nathan," she whispered a moment later, when he still hadn't answered. She fisted his shirt gently with one hand and pulled him towards her. "Kiss me."

Nathan's body was already starting to heat up, and his lips hadn't even touched hers yet. But he forced himself to stay calm as he held her face and pressed a gentle kiss onto her lips. It was slow, and he didn't dare to use his tongue. He'd missed the taste of her so much, and soon he was lost in the kiss, but just as quickly he was brought back to reality and pulled away.

Haley shook her head. "Just kiss me for a while, okay?" she pleaded. "This is what's going to heal me."

He nodded and crashed his lips onto hers again, this time slipping his wet tongue into her mouth. It clashed with her own, and soon the kiss had intensified as they battled for dominance. They kissed for a long time, and Nathan had to keep reminding himself that she only wanted to do this to heal and to feel safe. She didn't want him back. Letting himself believe that would break his heart in the end and maybe hers, too. He didn't want to cause her any more pain than he already had.

After a long while, Haley began to realize just how tired she was and gently pushed him away from her. They locked eyes, and she licked her lips as she stared into his dark blue orbs. "Let's go to sleep," she whispered after a moment, in an attempt to pull herself out of the pleasurable oblivion she had fallen into.

Nathan nodded wordlessly and pulled away from her, curling up as best he could in the chair he was in. The thing was really taking a toll on his back, and he knew he would be sore in the morning, but it was worth it to spend time with her and make her feel safe. He took her hand in his as he did each night and then closed his eyes. "Good night," he said, stifling a yawn.

"Night," Haley responded, her own eyes closing naturally. "Thank you."

* * *

Two days passed, and their routine continued. They didn't kiss again, although both wanted to. Haley was right about Nathan's kisses distracting her and taking her worries away, if only for a second. When his lips were on hers that's all she was focused on, and she wasn't scared anymore. Not at all. They still talked for a few minutes at night and in the morning when he was with her, and he filled her in on everything going on with James and Lucy. Neither one of them even brought up the kisses they'd shared because they didn't want to make it awkward. It was on both of their minds though, and Haley was searching her heart, wondering if she could ever trust him in a romantic relationship again. For some reason her answer was always no.

"Do you need anything before I head down to the NICU?" Nathan asked Haley, standing up from his chair.

Haley shook her head. "I'm fine," she told him with a short nod. Fine was a nice way of putting it. Haley was becoming increasingly pissed off and depressed that she couldn't see her kids. It had been nine days now. She felt fine; there was absolutely no reason that she shouldn't be able to go see them.

Nathan noticed the familiar look on her face. It was the same one she got each and every day because they all ended with the same result. No James and Lucy…at least not for her. He pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and gave her the best comforting smile he could muster. "It's going to be soon, baby," he whispered reassuringly.

Haley smiled softly at his words. Even though she knew that what he was saying might not be true, it still comforted her. Everything he did comforted her lately. It wasn't lost to her that even though they weren't together anymore, he still called her baby all the time. She actually liked that he couldn't seem to break the habit. Clearing her throat to stop her hazy thoughts from wandering too far, Haley watched him walk to the end of her bed before asking her question. "Hey, isn't the draft coming up?"

Nathan turned around at the sound of her voice and nodded in affirmation, shoving his hands into his pockets at the same time. "In two days," he elaborated.

"Have you heard anything from your agent?" she asked him. She knew how important basketball was to Nathan, and she knew that his career had taken a backseat with everything else going on. Yes, the season was over, and the draft hadn't happened yet. But he shouldn't have had to spend all of his time cooped up in the hospital. He should have been training and signing endorsement deals and making sure that his future in the NBA was secure. Instead it kind of seemed like he was off of the basketball map.

He nodded. "Yeah, he actually called yesterday. He's been hearing a few different things, but he said it's almost guaranteed that I'm going ninth pick." He hadn't told Haley for a reason. He didn't want to stress her out anymore than necessary, and this would probably do it. They hadn't even begun to talk about living arrangements for the twins once they were out of the NICU and healthy enough to go home. Neither Haley nor Nathan really had a stable home. She didn't want to live with her parents forever, and he would know in two days where his potential new home would be.

"That's awesome!" Haley exclaimed. "I'm so proud of you. Who has the ninth pick?"

And this is why he was nervous. He'd been hoping that by some miracle of God the Bobcats would sign him, and he could stay close to Haley and the twins. That way, he could see them often and she wouldn't have to make any drastic sacrifices just to accommodate him. The last thing he wanted was for her to have to give up more. College graduation had already been taken from her. She shouldn't have to sacrifice anything more. Nathan pulled one hand out of his pocket and scratched the end of his nose nervously. "Boston," he finally answered.

"Oh," she answered, somewhat dejectedly. Then she perked up. "They're, like, really good, right?"

Nathan chuckled. "Uh, yeah, they're pretty good. But we don't have to talk about this now, Hales. It's not even a done deal yet. I could be going anywhere."

She nodded. "Okay, but wherever you go…you're going."

He furrowed his brow and laughed again. "Wherever I go, I'm going. I'll try to remember that," he teased.

Haley shook her head. "I'm serious. You quit in college for me…or because of me, or whatever. You're not giving up basketball for this family; I won't let you. We'll figure something out, okay?"

Nathan nodded hesitantly. "Alright."

Just as Nathan was about to leave, a nurse came into the room, and he decided to stay in case it was something important. His feet stayed glued to the floor at the foot of Haley's bed, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Good morning, Miss James," the nurse greeted her patient. "How are you feeling today?"

"Great," Haley responded mechanically with a smile. She did the same thing every morning, in the hopes that she would be able to convince the woman that she was ready to go see her babies. It had yet to work.

"Any pain?" the nurse inquired skeptically. This was a routine for her, and her patient's answers were always the same. She knew why, but it was her job to discern whether or not she was telling the truth.

Haley shook her head and smiled again. "Nope." She watched the nurse move forward and place her hands on her stomach. She hadn't done this before, and Haley wrinkled her brow.

Seeing the confusion on the patient's face, the nurse began to explain what she was going to do. "I'm just going to gently press on your abdomen, and you tell me if it hurts, okay?"

Haley nodded as the woman began pressing on her upper stomach. "No," Haley replied honestly. The woman's hands moved down, and she pushed again. "Nope." Haley gave her a smile. Once again, the nurse's hands moved down, and she pushed again, a bit gentler this time.

Nathan saw Haley visibly wince, and in two strides he was standing on the clear side of the bed. He saw her reaching for his hand, so he volunteered it and felt her squeeze hard.

"That hurt, huh?" the nurse questioned, pulling her hands away.

Haley released a small sigh and nodded her head. "A little bit. It wasn't too bad though."

Nathan knew she was lying. Haley had a pretty normal tolerance for pain, and if she was wincing and reaching for him then it hurt.

The nurse eyed her skeptically. "Do you think you're well enough to go see your babies today?"

Haley nodded instantly. "Yes."

"Let me see what I can do," the nurse replied, giving Haley a smile before exiting the room.

Nathan squatted next to her bed and looked at her, concerned. "Are you really okay, Hales? You need to tell her if it hurts."

"Nathan, I'm fine," she assured him.

Sighing, Nathan stood back up and nodded. "Okay."

A few minutes later the same nurse returned with a wheelchair and helped Haley into it. It was impossible to miss the excitement on the new mother's face. The nurse, herself, was a mother, and she couldn't imagine not even seeing your newborn babies until they were nine days old. It had to be hard.

Nathan followed them to the NICU. The place had become very familiar to him, and he was pretty sure he knew this hospital inside and out by now, although he hoped that once Haley and the babies were out they would never have to step foot in there again. When they reached the door leading into the NICU, Nathan asked the nurse if he could take over. He knew where James and Lucy were in the room; he could probably find them in his sleep. The nurse understood and held the door open for the new parents, warning them both to be careful.

Nathan wheeled Haley through the room. They passed a few nurses on the way to the back, and he saw Haley looking at each and every one of the babies with both fear and excitement. He was excited for her, too. This was the first time they would see their babies and experience those feelings together. He stopped when he reached the back of the room and the space directly in front of his two children. "This is them," he whispered to Haley, pushing her forward a bit more so she could see them better.

Haley was speechless. She literally tried to form words to express how excited and happy she was, but it was impossible. She was also very fearful when she saw the size of the two babies. Her eyes filled with tears for both reasons. Eventually, after a few minutes, she found her voice and spoke. "They're so tiny," she observed.

Nathan nodded, gazing at their children as well. "Yeah, they are."

They sat in silence for another few minutes, and as Haley was watching Lucy she saw her daughter's eyes open and her tiny fist reach into the air. "Oh, my gosh," Haley whispered. "She moved."

Nathan chuckled and nodded again. "Yeah, she does that a lot. She's pretty feisty…kind of like her mom."

Haley wiped at her eyes, trying to keep from getting too emotional. "I'm a mom," she said with disbelief. It was so surreal. Although she had considered herself a mom for the duration of the pregnancy, it was so different to actually see her children. The need to protect them was so much stronger now, especially seeing how tiny and helpless they were.

Nathan leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Yeah, you are," he replied. He took a few steps closer to his son. "Jamie moves a lot, too, but not as much as her. I thought it was weird at first because she's smaller." His son's blue eyes were open and staring at him.

"They have your eyes," Haley noted. "Both of them."

Smiling, Nathan nodded. It was one of the first things he'd noticed about them. "Lucy's got your nose though…and your mouth. James has your ears."

Haley watched her children for several more minutes, realizing that Nathan was right. "I can't believe we made them," she whispered a moment later, still in awe of how beautiful both of her children were. "They're amazing."

Nathan smiled as he watched her face. She was looking at them so intently, probably the same way he had the first time he had seen them nine days ago. "I know," he replied, turning his gaze back to their babies. He bit his lip. "Do you want me to give you some time with them?"

Turning to look at her ex-fiancé, Haley shook her head. "No, stay with us. We should both be with them right now."

Happily, Nathan grabbed the chair from the corner and took a seat opposite Haley. Both were quiet and content. Haley was reveling in the feeling of being with her kids for the first time, and Nathan was enjoying the quality time with his three favorite people in the world.

* * *

"_With the ninth pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Boston Celtics select…Nathan Scott." _

It was just as Nathan's agent had predicted. While Haley was happy for him, she couldn't help but be nervous about the conversation they were going to have to have when she saw him next. In her mind, she was trying to figure out what she wanted to do. She could stay with her parents, but then Nathan would never get to see Jamie and Lucy. He was obviously moving to Boston. It wouldn't be fair of her to do that to him. The only other option she saw was to go with him. Even though they weren't together, she cared about him, and this was his dream. It's not like anything was necessarily tying her down in North Carolina. She, Lucy, and Jamie could go to Boston with him. It could work; they could make it work.

Brooke was sitting with Haley at the hospital, and they were both watching the draft intently. Brooke was concerned about her best friend and Nathan, but she was also worried about where Lucas was going. She didn't have any plans set in stone either, but would it be totally pitiful of her to just follow him around like a puppy? She had a life to live, too. They hadn't been together for very long, even though compared to Brooke's past relationships it might as well have been forever. She wrung her hands together nervously until she heard her boyfriend's name called out by the commissioner.

"_With the sixteenth pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Sacramento Kings select…Lucas Scott." _

Haley watched her best friend's face, but somehow it remained neutral. Although Lucas and Brooke's situation wasn't quite as complicated as her and Nathan's, Haley knew that Brooke was scared. She had always been scared of committing to guys, and just being in a serious relationship with Lucas was a huge step for her. But she knew how much the two loved each other, and she knew that they would end up together. They were perfect. "What are you thinking, Brookie?" Haley asked after a few minutes of silence.

Brooke looked up, her face still relatively calm. Her hands had stopped moving, and her entire countenance was blank.

"Brooke," Haley said slowly.

Brooke seemed to snap out of her trance now, and her eyes went wide. "Sacramento," she whispered. Abruptly, she stood up and began pacing. "Sacramento," she repeated a few more times.

Haley was a little worried by Brooke's minor freak out. She wanted her best friend to be happy and just give herself what she wanted. "Brooke," Haley said loudly, stopping her friend in her tracks.

"What?" Brooke mumbled distractedly, although she had stopped pacing. She was now facing Haley's bed with her hands on her hips.

"Tell me what you want to do," Haley requested.

Brooke furrowed her brow. "What do you mean? Like what do I want for lunch? Because, Tutor Girl, I cannot eat right now. And even if I could, this hospital food tastes like dog shit. I don't know how you eat it every day. Not to mention-"

"Brooke!" Haley nearly shouted, stopping the brunette's rant about the food at the hospital. "I am not talking about lunch or food or dog shit," she said, letting out a small chuckle. "What do you want to do about your boyfriend and Sacramento? Are you going to go with him?"

Brooke ran a nervous hand through her hair and then shrugged. "I don't know, Haley. I really don't know what to do. We haven't even been together for a year. And yes, I love him, but what if that's not enough? What if I move there with him, and then we split up? Then I'm just a lonely girl in Sacramento."

"Yeah, and if you don't go with him then you'll be a lonely girl in North Carolina. You've got to give this a chance, Brooke," Haley told her. "As much as I am going to miss my best friend, you love Lucas. And he loves you back. Go."

"Are you sure, Tutor Girl?" Brooke asked. "What if-"

"Nuh uh," Haley interrupted her. "You're going."

Brooke raised both her eyebrows at the order, and then her face slowly turned into a smirk. "Does this mean you're going to Boston with Baby Daddy?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "If he ever hears you say that, you are going to be in so much trouble."

"Why? That's what he is," Brooke muttered with a small shrug. "It's not offensive if it's true."

"Still, just…don't say it around him," Haley replied. "And I don't know. The more I think about it, the more I think that it would be the right thing to do for Lucy and Jamie. Once we're all out of here they need to be somewhere stable. And if Nathan and Boston gives them that, then so be it."

Brooke resumed her spot in the chair next to Haley's hospital bed. "And what about you?" she questioned quietly. "Do you think you could be happy there?"

Without hesitation, Haley nodded. "Yeah, I think so. As long as I've got my babies, I could be happy anywhere."

"And Nathan?" Brooke asked. "You have him, too, you know."

"I know," Haley answered with a nod. "I do. He's been amazing, and I'm so thankful for everything that he does." She bit her lip and brought her hands to her lap, staring at them. "I keep trying to just push all of our issues aside and open my heart to him again, but I can't do it. The worst part is I don't know why I can't do it. It's like I just subconsciously shut myself off to him, and I wish I didn't. I wish I could change it."

"He hurt you, Haley," Brooke reminded her softly. "That's why. It's not an easy thing to overcome."

Haley nodded. "It's so frustrating because it's like…I trust Nathan with everything. I trust him with my life, and I trust him with my kids' lives. I know that he'll always protect us, and I feel safe when I'm with him. But when it comes to trusting him about other girls and especially about communication…I just can't."

Brooke nodded in understanding. "No one's going to shun you for that, Haley. It's completely understandable. It's going to take more than two months to get over it, especially with everything else you two have going on. You both have so much on your plates, and you're still so young. You've got time."

"Yeah," Haley agreed quietly. Looking up from her hands into the face of her best friend, Haley smiled softly. "You always know what to say. I'm going to miss you, Brooke Davis."

Brooke winked and nodded. "I'll miss you, too, Haley James. Baby Daddy, too."

* * *

"I'm going to Boston with you."

Nathan furrowed his brow as he walked through the private room door at the hospital. He'd just arrived, and that was the first thing he'd heard out of Haley. "What?" he questioned, honestly surprised. He didn't think she would just volunteer to go with him like this, not when they weren't even a couple anymore.

"I'm going to Boston with you," Haley repeated. "Me and Jamie and Lucy…as soon as we're all well enough."

Nathan sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her. "Are you sure? We've got time; you can think about it. It's not going to hurt my feelings if you don't want to go with me." Boy, that was a lie if he'd ever told one.

"We're going with you," Haley told him for the third time. "I know…that we aren't together, and that's not changing because of this decision. But I want us both to be with Lucy and James, and if this is what it takes then that's what we're going to do. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Haley…are you really sure?" Nathan muttered, looking away. "If you're going to be unhappy there, then you're not coming with me. I won't do that to you; I've done enough."

Haley closed her eyes briefly. She hated how guilty he always seemed to feel, but it was to be expected. He had reasons to feel guilty, but still…she loved him, and knowing that he felt badly about himself upset her. "Nathan, I'm sure," she told him a moment later. "I can be happy there. We can all be happy there. I wouldn't make a decision like this if I thought otherwise, okay?"

Nathan slowly nodded but was still skeptical.

"Another thing we need to talk about," Haley started awkwardly.

"Yeah?"

Haley released a short sigh. "The other night, when we…kissed…or made out…or whatever the hell it was."

Nathan looked up at her.

"Look, it was what I needed at the time, and I'm glad that it happened. It took some of my anxieties away in the moment," Haley told him. "So thank you. And I know it was my suggestion and my fault, but that can't happen again. It wasn't right."

His face fell at her words, but he masked it as best he could. He really felt like they were going somewhere and that maybe the walls that he had forced her to put up were coming down. Clearly, that wasn't the case. "Haley," he whispered, turning to face her more directly. "Please give me another chance. I will _not _hurt you again, okay? Ever…I swear to you. Please."

"I can't," Haley replied in a whisper. "I wish that my answer was different, Nathan, but it isn't. I told you before that I would always love you, and that's still true. You are the father of my children, and I will be eternally grateful for what you've given me and the way that you've protected me." She paused, biting her lip. "But I just can't."

Nathan nodded slowly and then lightly cleared his throat, warding off the angry and defeated tears that were threatening to spill. After a moment he stood up. "Hey, um…listen, I've got to go. Do you think you'll be okay for the night?"

Haley sighed quietly. She didn't want him to go. "Nathan-"

"Will you be okay?" he repeated.

She waited until his eyes met hers and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess I will be," she answered disappointedly.

"Okay," he whispered, turning around and leaving the room before she could see him cry. He had really begun to feel a sense of hope with her, but now it was all gone again. And he couldn't keep staying with her every single night, holding her hand and kissing her forehead. It was too hard to sit there and not be able to tell her that he loved her and that he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. Because she didn't want those things with him anymore. He didn't blame her, and she had absolutely no reason to apologize, but it was still too hard. So instead, Nathan walked the familiar path to the NICU and sat with his children until he fell asleep. The dreams that he had had since he was a kid had all just come true; he was in the NBA. His dreams had come true, but somehow, with the exception of fatherhood, he was unhappier than ever before.


	24. Chapter 24

**Well I certainly suck! I was getting ready to update this past weekend, and then I got food poisoning, which was just a fantastic experience. So I am very sorry that it's been so long. I hope that this chapter isn't a disappointment to any of you. I don't know that I would call it a filler because some stuff does develop, but it's nothing too dramatic. I wanted it to be longer, but I am just too tired so I'll try to make the next one extra long. Thank you for the reviews! Sorry again, I know I've sucked lately. Anyways, here it is...**

* * *

Haley screamed. In fact, she might have screamed louder than ever before. As her mouth opened and the deafening noise escaped, her hands flew up to her eyes and her body threw itself into Nathan's chest. When the scream was over, she let out a high-pitched squeal that also gave away how scared she was at the moment. "Oh, my God," she breathed a moment later. "Make it stop, Nathan. Make it stop."

Nathan let out a rather loud chuckle at her words. He wrapped both his arms around her in an attempt to provide her with some comfort but continued to laugh. He was glad he could do this without her wincing anymore. She'd been home from the hospital for two weeks now, and her soreness had finally faded.

Hearing his laughter, Haley pulled away slightly and smacked his chest as hard as she could. "Shut the hell up! This is all your fault!"

At that, Nathan only laughed harder and tightened his arms around her small frame.

Glancing to her right once more, Haley let out another short scream and buried her face in his neck. She could smell his aftershave and instinctively breathed in deeply, her body involuntarily experiencing a rise in temperature. She lifted her arm again and hit him repeatedly in the chest.

Nathan was still laughing. He smirked at her, although her face was still buried in his neck. He knew she was scared. "Is that supposed to hurt, Hales?" he teased. "Because really…it feels like you're tickling me."

"I hate you," Haley muttered, lifting her head and glaring at him. "Why did you make me watch this?"

"Excuse me?" Nathan replied, raising both his eyebrows. "I believe you're the one that suggested we watch a scary movie. And oh, wait…I think you're also the one that picked out this specific one."

Haley rolled her eyes, smiling slightly because she knew he was right. "I just picked up the first one I saw. How was I supposed to know that it was going to be so terrifying? I just wanted to watch something suspenseful."

Nathan returned her smile and shook his head. "Well, Hales, suspense is a whole other genre. And I'd hardly call The Strangers terrifying. They're alone in the woods, and they get chased around by lunatics in masks. What's so scary about that?"

Haley's eyes widened. "It's based on a true story!"

"That doesn't mean anything," Nathan replied with a short laugh. "Most of the time, they just say that to make it seem scarier."

"Most of the time? Do you hear yourself?" Haley glanced at the television again but quickly turned away. "For God's sake, will you turn the damn thing off?"

Nathan leaned forward and grabbed the remote off of the coffee table, turning both the television and the DVD player off. "You have nothing to worry about, Haley. I promise," he assured her.

"So if freaks started coming into your apartment with masks and knives, getting ready to stab me, you wouldn't leave to go get cigarettes like that jackass did?" Haley asked him, her eyebrows rising.

"I don't even smoke," Nathan commented.

Haley smacked his chest again. "Answer the question!"

Nathan shook his head and placed a hand on her knee, rubbing it up and down to comfort her. "I would not leave you here with a bunch of psychos so that I could go get cigarettes, no. That would make me a pussy, and I think we both know that I am far from that."

Turning her head slightly to hide the rich blush on her cheeks, Haley let out a small laugh. "Good. That's all I needed to know."

"So do you want to finish the movie?" Nathan teased a moment later.

Haley's eyes widened, and she shook her head, meeting his eyes again. "Hell no! Why would I want to do that?"

Nathan shrugged. "Well, I mean you do look incredibly adorable when you're scared. I was kind of getting turned on." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

Nathan nodded, licking his lips.

"I guess we could watch the rest of it," Haley relented with a teasing shrug. "I mean, that guy is pretty hot. He's an ass, but he looks like he's got a pretty good body."

Nathan scoffed. "Alright, movie time is over."

Laughing, Haley lay back on the couch, placing her feet in Nathan's lap.

He knew what she was silently asking him for, so he placed his hands over her feet and began to massage them. "We should probably get to bed pretty soon anyways. We don't want to be late tomorrow."

Haley turned her head to look at the digital clock on the wall and yawned. "Wow, it's already two?"

Nathan nodded. He continued to rub her feet for several more minutes, and when he saw that she was dozing off he stopped and stood up. Placing both his arms under her, he carried her into his bedroom and pulled the covers back before placing her on the bed. He covered her up and left a soft kiss on her forehead. "Good night, Hales," he whispered.

"Good night," Haley replied sleepily, stifling another yawn. Without opening her eyes she added, "Thanks for letting me stay here."

With a small smile, Nathan nodded and left the room, leaving the door open slightly. He pulled the light blanket off of the back of the couch and sprawled out as best he could, covering himself up. He yawned, and before he knew it he was out like a light.

The last two and a half weeks had gone by quickly, and for both Nathan and Haley it was a blur. Haley had been released two weeks ago, and after spending one night at her parents' house she decided that she wanted to stay with Nathan. She knew it was risky, and so did he, but it was what made her comfortable. She felt safe there. So she packed some of her stuff and went to stay with him, and she had stayed every night since then. In fact, she hadn't even been back to her parents' house. Between sleeping, eating, and spending time with Jamie and Lucy at the hospital, there was really only time to be at Nathan's.

She kind of felt like their entire relationship was starting over, what with the flirting and the lighthearted conversations. Apart from when they were with their children, that's all it had been for the past two weeks. Although she never completely forgot them, Haley's reasons for not being with Nathan were slowly but surely being pushed to the back of her mind. In all honesty, she craved the banter that they shared; she had missed it. And she needed it to get through everything else that was going on.

Although most of the pain had subsided, Haley's body was still healing. She was still taking several supplements and doing everything in her power to fully recover. And even though she and Nathan hadn't been permitted to hold the twins yet, she was just thankful that she got to see them every day. That's where she and Nathan spent the majority of their days, sometimes together and sometimes separately. Not being able to see them until they were nine days old made Haley appreciate every single second she had with them. They were now nearly a month old, and they were both gaining weight steadily, so things were looking up. It seemed like the number of tubes surrounding their bodies got smaller and smaller with each passing week, and Haley couldn't wait to hold her children. That's why she and Nathan needed to be up early the following morning.

Nathan had experienced a drastic change during the past two and a half weeks. He had been stripped of all his hope the night Haley told him that their kiss wasn't right. He had been unhappy, and James and Lucy were the only things he had been counting on. Now, it felt as though he and Haley had developed a sort of friendship. Of course, it was more than that with them, and it always would be, but either way Nathan was happy with it. He enjoyed having her around and was glad that she wanted to stay with him. He needed it just as much as she did. However, he wasn't going to let himself get his hopes up again. Haley had made it clear that they were over, and he was finally starting to accept that. He still wanted more with her, and he was still holding out for it, but if it didn't happen he would be okay. He had Jamie and Lucy, and as long as he had them he would make it.

Having gotten only four hours of sleep, Nathan awoke at six o'clock and shuffled to the bathroom to take a shower. He left the bathroom door open, as he did every morning, and removed his clothes. He turned the hot water on, and before stepping under the spray he removed the chain from around his neck and set it down on the bathroom counter. Hanging from it was Haley's engagement ring. Once the scalding water made contact with his skin, Nathan let out a small groan and was immediately awake. He stood there for several seconds, allowing his body to get used to the temperature, before he reached for his shampoo and began to wash his hair.

Haley woke up a little after six, as she did every morning, and rolled out of bed. She heard the shower running and saw the door open when she walked down the hall. Halting in the doorway of the bathroom, she gazed at her engagement ring for a few minutes. She did this every morning. Even if she hadn't seen it on the bathroom counter when she began staying with Nathan, she knew he wore it around his neck. She was glad that he did.

Having no earthly idea what compelled her to do so, Haley began to undress herself. As quietly as she could, she closed the bathroom door once she was naked. The room had begun to steam up, and for a moment she looked at herself in the mirror. Her body was definitely different. She still had pregnancy weight, and the scar across her lower stomach was absolutely hideous…at least in her eyes. She was unattractive, and even though she believed this with everything in her she still took a tentative step towards the shower. A part of her knew Nathan wouldn't care, but she needed to be assured of that. For some reason, she felt like if he still wanted her this way then that would change things. Who knew if that was actually true?

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Haley reached for the shower curtain and slowly pulled it open. She stepped inside, the hot water soothing to her aching body, and then closed the curtain.

Nathan felt a rush of cold air hit him and opened his eyes, turning around to see the shower curtain open. Then he watched it closely and followed the movement until his eyes landed on Haley. God, his girl was beautiful. He had no idea what she was doing right now, and he honestly didn't care. However, a large part of him was still skeptical. He didn't want her to be unhappy with anything, and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Taking a small step forward and resisting the urge to reach out and touch her, he quietly asked, "What are you doing, Hales?"

Briefly closing her eyes and then reopening them, Haley shrugged shyly. "I want to try something," she whispered.

"Okay," he replied in a whisper, still unsure of her motives.

Haley closed the gap between them and placed both her hands on his broad shoulders, looking up into his eyes. She was searching them, trying to see if they were as repulsed by her body's image as her own were. It really wasn't that bad, and in reality she knew that. But she wanted to be beautiful for him. Even if they weren't together, she wanted Nathan to think she was sexy. He always made her feel sexy. After a moment, she leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips against his gently.

Nathan returned the kiss, both of his hands now resting on her hips. He slowly slipped his tongue between her lips and released a small moan when she pressed her entire body against his. His lower body was already reacting to her, and their lips hadn't even been locked for a minute.

She kissed him for several minutes, deepening it every so often. Her hands had moved to rest on his upper back as she felt his shoulder blades and the muscles that lay there. She drew his tongue into her mouth and sucked on it tenderly. She could feel him hardening against her stomach. In fact, she had been able to feel it only a few seconds after they first kissed, and it was reassuring. The pressure of his cock against her abdomen only intensified as they continued to kiss, and eventually she pulled away. Her eyes remained closed for several seconds as she clung to him with her arms. "That felt good," she finally whispered.

Nathan nodded silently, waiting until she opened her eyes to speak. He pulled his hands away from her hips and cupped her face with one, brushing the other through her now wet hair. He looked into her eyes as he spoke. "You're beautiful."

Haley bit her lip. That was what she'd needed to hear. The fact that Nathan was still sexually aroused by her was reassuring, too, but Nathan calling her beautiful when she clearly looked different meant more. It made her _feel _beautiful, and that's something Haley hadn't felt in a very long time. Leaning up, Haley kissed him again.

Once again, Nathan kissed her back softly, letting his tongue mingle with hers. When she pulled away again, he reached for her shampoo. Her things were on one side of the shower, his on the other. He massaged the liquid into her hair, watching her face as her eyes closed and she tilted her head back slightly. Once he was done, he backed up so she could get under the most powerful part of the spray, and he ran his hands through her hair until all of the suds were gone. He did the same thing with her conditioner and then poured a good amount of her body wash into his hands. Lathering it between his fingers, he moved behind her and began to wash her arms and back.

Haley tilted her head back again, enjoying the feel of his hands against her skin. It was relaxing her to no end, and she didn't want him to ever stop. She let out a long moan when he rubbed his hands gently over her breasts. She could feel his erection pressing against her back now, and she knew he wouldn't do anything about it. He was giving her what she wanted but still respecting her, and she definitely appreciated it. She could imagine that he was probably more than a little confused, but she would explain it all later.

Nathan moved his hands from her breasts to her stomach, and he felt her tense up. He knew what she was worried about, and she had no reason to be. She was more beautiful than ever, and she was the mother of his children. He could never want anyone more than he wanted her, not just in that moment, but in every moment. Nathan pressed his chest flush against her back in an attempt to soothe her, and he rested his head on her shoulder as he washed her. His hands kneaded over her upper stomach just as they had everywhere else, but when he moved his hands lower his touch got gentler. He traced the space adjacent to her scar as softly as he could, and he felt her tense up again. "Hales," he whispered into her ear as he moved his hands to her hips. Then he trailed them down to her thighs and ran them over the skin there, making sure to cover every inch with lather.

"Yeah?" Haley whispered, her eyes finally opening. She loved the way that he was touching her. She could literally feel how much he wanted her to relax and enjoy herself, and she was loving every second of it.

"Look at me," he commanded softly, bringing his hands to her hips again.

Haley did as she was told, turning her head so that it was resting on his shoulder. She could see his face and felt his hands move from her hips to her stomach.

"You're beautiful," he said, repeating his words from earlier. "You've never been anything but beautiful and graceful and sexy, and you never will be, okay?"

She nodded slowly, her eyes remaining locked on his. She placed her hands over his on her stomach and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. "Thank you," she whispered. "That means everything to me."

"Well, you mean everything to me," he responded sincerely. "And your babies, of course." He smiled.

Haley returned the small gesture and then leaned forward to capture his lips again. She tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth as she pulled away and then turned herself around so she was facing him. She snaked her arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as she could. "They're perfect," she whispered.

"They are," he agreed, holding her close. They stood under the water just like that for a few minutes, and then Nathan took a step back, allowing her to get rinsed off. "We should get going."

Haley nodded, making sure all the suds had been rinsed from her body before turning the water off and opening the curtain.

Nathan stepped out and quickly grabbed two towels from the bathroom closet, wrapping one around Haley's frame and the other around his waist. As he was putting it on, he looked up and noticed that Haley was staring at him. More specifically, she was staring at the most excited part of him. Instantly feeling embarrassed and stupid for not being able to control himself around her even though they weren't technically together anymore, he held the towel in front of his body and looked away. "Sorry," he muttered sheepishly. "I didn't mean for it to…you know…sorry."

Taking a step forward, Haley held her own towel to her body with one hand and caressed his cheek with the other. "It's cute that you're apologizing, Nathan, but you don't have to."

He nodded shortly and then cleared his throat. "Haley, what was this?"

Looking away now, she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Let's just…let's just go, and we can talk about it later."

Nathan nodded again, and the two went their separate ways to get dressed. Nathan made sure to slip the chain with Haley's engagement ring back over his head before exiting the bathroom.

The ride to the hospital was silent. Usually they made small talk or teased each other. At the very least, Nathan would turn the radio on, and Haley's voice could be heard humming along to whatever song was playing. But not today…silence. And it was awkward.

Nathan was desperately trying to figure out why the hell Haley had climbed into the shower with him. It was random. Since she'd been staying with him, the most they had touched had been the night before when Haley got scared during the movie. They definitely hadn't kissed or done anything else of the sort, and he just couldn't figure it out. Their routine was the same every day, but she had just changed it in a drastic way. He made a mental note to himself to ask her about it later.

The walk to the NICU was silent as well, but Nathan and Haley were both very excited on the inside. They had been told that there was a very good possibility that they would be able to hold their babies today, and neither could wait. The nurse that let them in each day followed them back this time and gave them a smile as they reached Jamie and Lucy.

"Can we hold them?" Nathan asked impatiently. It had been almost a month, and all he had been able to do was stare at his children. It was mesmerizing, no doubt, but he couldn't imagine how amazing it would be to actually hold them in his arms.

The nurse chuckled at the bluntness of his question but nodded her head. "Yes, you can hold them, if you'd like. It'll take a second to move all the tubes, but there aren't as many as there was. I'll be right back." She disappeared, and Nathan and Haley only stared at Jamie and Lucy while she was gone.

Haley could see the physical changes in her children, and she was so glad for it. It meant that they were growing and developing well. She hoped they wouldn't have to spend too many more weeks in the hospital; she couldn't wait to take them home, wherever that was. She and Nathan had things set up at his apartment for the time being while they got things settled in Boston. When the nurse returned she began moving things around on the babies.

"Who wants to go first?" she asked as she got Lucy ready. She looked between the baby's parents.

"Go ahead," Nathan insisted with a small smile. He had gotten to see the babies nine days before Haley, and he would have his chance to hold his daughter. He wanted to see Haley's reaction to this.

Haley returned his smile and took a step forward. A moment later, Lucy was gently placed in her arms, and Haley instantly began to tear up. "Oh, my gosh," she whispered, staring wide-eyed at her daughter. "Hey, baby girl." Words could not describe how happy Haley was in that moment. She was in awe at how perfect it felt to hold her child in her arms, and in a way she felt like this was the moment she really became a mom. Even though she and Nathan talked to the twins constantly, she couldn't help but feel like they didn't know her…like they didn't know that she was their mother and that she would always be there for them. How could they when she'd never even held them before? But this was different. It was amazing.

She held the baby for several minutes before the nurse switched and placed Lucy in her father's arms. As soon as she was in Nathan's arms, he began to really realize how small she was. She had gained weight, and when he was looking at her he could tell. But holding her for the first time, he felt like if he moved an inch he would break her. So he didn't move. He stood completely still and stared at his daughter, afraid to move a muscle. It felt awesome though. He still couldn't believe that he and Haley had made two little people; it was amazing. He held Lucy for almost as long as Haley had, and then the nurse took her away again.

They went through the same process with James. He was still bigger than his sister, but neither Haley nor Nathan could tell the difference when he was in their arms. He was awake, unlike Lucy, and stared directly at both his parents as they held him. That's all he did with Haley, but when Nathan held out his finger Jamie wrapped his tiny fist around it. Nathan almost started crying right then and there. It was one of the few moments in his life that he knew he would remember forever…the first time he held his two kids in his arms. And Haley had given him that. He couldn't help but be grateful to her.

The nurse said that they could only hold them for a few minutes each and explained why, apologizing afterwards. Still, Nathan and Haley stayed almost all day. They ate at the hospital cafeteria and left around five, promising Lucy and Jamie that they would be back in the morning. Both were starved by the time they returned to Nathan's apartment. They considered ordering pizza, but Haley wasn't in the mood for it. She felt like they ate pizza every night. Instead, they heated up some food that Lydia had dropped off earlier in the week and ate in silence. Things were still awkward.

Nathan cleaned up after dinner and then approached Haley in the living room. She was sitting on the couch with a book in her lap.

Sensing his presence, Haley looked up and closed her book. She knew this was coming.

"Talk to me," Nathan said softly. "I know you don't want to, but I need to understand this morning. You don't want to be with me, yet you got naked and got in the shower with me and then kissed me. Why?"

Haley sighed softly, closing her book and setting it on the couch. She stood up so they were now face to face and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why does there have to be a reason? Why can't I just want to kiss you?" she countered, looking into his eyes. She didn't know how to explain it; this was her only argument. She had wanted to kiss him, and something had compelled her to take her clothes off and follow him into the shower.

"Because you know that when you kiss me, it's never just a kiss," he replied. "You know that even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it does to me."

She shook her head. "It does mean something to me," she said in a near whisper.

"What, Haley? What does it mean?"

She shrugged, looking away briefly. "Look, a part of me…a part of me needed to know that you still thought I was beautiful. I just needed that, okay?"

"And the other part?"

"The other part…I don't know," Haley said honestly. "I just wanted to. Why can't that be good enough?"

Nathan shook his head. "I'm not saying it's not good enough, but I just have to know what it means. Are you ever going to be able to give me another chance?"

Haley uncrossed her arms and tugged at her sleeves, releasing another sigh. "I don't know, Nathan. I…this morning, for some reason I just wanted to kiss you. I wanted to feel close to you and know that you still wanted me. I don't know what made me do it, but I did it. And you made me feel good about myself, for the first time in a long time. And yeah…that kind of gives me hope." She paused, meeting his gaze with her own teary eyes. "Nathan, I'm trying, okay? Don't think that I'm not. I'm trying so hard to open my heart to you again and be able to trust you in the way that I used to. Right now, I can't say for sure whether or not that's going to happen, but I'm trying. But if I, for some reason, have a sporadic urge to kiss you and that kiss helps us get back to who we used to be, is that not worth it?"

Nathan nodded, taking a step closer to her and cupping her cheeks. He used his thumbs to brush away the few tears that fell and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "It is," he told her. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to understand, okay? I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it. I'm glad it happened." He moved his hands to rest on her hips and gave her a small smile. "I'm still waiting for you, and I'll be waiting until the day you're ready to let me back in. I believe in us."

Haley smiled at his words and wound her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly just as she had in the shower that morning. "I'm sorry that I'm not ready for us again yet," she whispered.

"Don't apologize, Hales," Nathan whispered back, pulling away to look at her. "However much time you need is how much time you'll get. And if you ever feel the urge to kiss me or jump me or whatever it is that you may be thinking of, I will not mind; trust me." He smirked.

Haley rolled her eyes, smacking his cheek playfully. "Down, boy. I'm not saying it's going to happen again."

"Oh, yeah?"

She nodded and raised an eyebrow. "In fact, I may never kiss you again."

Nathan scoffed. "Yeah, right, babe. I'm far too sexy for that."

"Someone's got an ego," Haley commented, flashing him a wide smile.

"Yeah, but you want to kiss me now, don't you?" he replied with a strong smirk.

Haley shrugged. "Maybe."

* * *

Much to Nathan's surprise and delight, Haley met him in the shower the following morning as well. This time, they both washed each other and only kissed once. Nathan didn't question it, and Haley still couldn't fully understand what it was that she was feeling, but she was trying to sort it out. They spent the next few days in this routine and continued their banter as well. They got to hold the babies several more times, and their conditions continued to improve.

"So what's going on with you and Baby Daddy?" Brooke asked, looking across the booth at her best friend. "And don't give me that shy 'oh, nothing really' bullshit that you usually do. I know something's going on. Spill."

Haley rolled her eyes at her best friend's choice of words. She couldn't get over the fact that Brooke was still calling Nathan Baby Daddy. It was funny, but she knew if Nathan ever heard it he wouldn't appreciate the nickname. She and Brooke were at a café having lunch, and Haley took a sip of her water before answering. "We've just been showering together," she said nonchalantly. She knew Brooke would freak.

Brooke choked on her drink, and her eyes doubled in size. "What? What the hell, Tutor Girl? And you're just now telling me?"

"Well yeah," Haley replied. "Besides, it's only been going on for a few days. I didn't keep it from you for that long."

"Details," Brooke demanded.

With a sigh, Haley leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table. "Well you know I've been staying with him. And he always leaves the door open when he showers, so I was pretty used to it. And then the other day…I was walking by, and I don't know…I just got undressed and got in with him."

Brooke's jaw dropped. "Tutor Slut, what did he do?"

"He asked me what I was doing, and I just told him I wanted to try something. I honestly have no idea how or why I wanted to, but I just did. So I kissed him, and then we just kind of…showered. He washed me, we kissed some more, and that was it. We've done it every morning since then." She paused. "He did talk to me the first night, asking why I did it and stuff, but I just told him I was trying to trust him again and that this was helping me to do that."

"And is it?" Brooke inquired.

Haley nodded. "I feel like we're slowly getting it back. And God…seeing him with Lucy and Jamie is incredible. I know they're still in the hospital, but he is so good with them. I knew he was going to be a good father, but actually seeing it kind of takes my breath away."

Brooke smiled at that. She and Lucas could both tell how dedicated Nathan was to his children. It was very cute. "You're not afraid he's going to do it again, are you?"

Haley shook her head. "Actually, no. I mean, I still think about it sometimes, but honestly that's the least of my worries. I guess I'm just kind of waiting to be ready for him again."

"But you definitely see that happening?"

"Yes," Haley answered with a nod. "I'm surer now than ever. I haven't told Nathan that though. Until I know it's time for us to get back together, I'm not going to say anything."

Brooke smirked. "You're just going to continue to sneak into his showers, kiss him, and let him touch your naked body?"

Haley blushed. "It's not as sexual as it sounds."

"Oh, really? You're telling me that Baby Daddy has gone day after day touching your wet naked body, and he hasn't gotten a hard on?"

Haley's eyes widened. "Do you have to be so blunt about _everything_?" she muttered with a short sigh. "But if you must know, yes he has. This discussion is now over."

"But I was wondering about-"

"Nope," Haley interrupted her. "How are you and Lucas? When are you moving?"

Brooke took a sip of her water and then sported a pout. "Early August. It's going to suck."

"No, it won't," Haley assured her. "You'll like it there, and you and Luke will be happy."

"Yeah, but I'll miss you. Plus, I have not spent nearly enough time with my new niece and nephew. How are they, by the way?"

"Good," Haley responded. "They're getting better with everything, and they're off almost every machine. I can't wait for them to come home."

Brooke smiled. "I'll bet."

Haley returned her best friend's smile and took another sip of her water as she continued to fill her in on Lucy and Jamie.


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry, I've been celebrating my birthday for like two weeks straight. Plus I just got my license so I haven't been home all that much. Next chapter should be out much quicker! Thank you for all the reviews, they mean so much! This story is winding down, and I'm thinking there's only going to be 2-3 more chapters (including epilogue). I hope you're all still enjoying it!**

* * *

"You know what's crazy?" Haley whispered as she traced patterns on his chest with her fingers. She was sitting sideways on his lap on the couch in his apartment, and her other arm was wrapped firmly around his neck.

"What?" Nathan inquired, his arms tightening around her small frame.

Haley bit her lip, pondering her words for a few seconds before speaking. "We haven't even known each other for a year," she observed. "And yet, we seem to be more attached to one another than any couple I know. Isn't that weird?"

"No," Nathan replied immediately. "Not with the way I feel about you."

She smiled slightly, raising her hand to stroke his cheek. "But don't you feel like we've known each other for so much longer?"

Nathan shrugged. "Well it's been almost a year, Hales." Then he nodded. "But yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I've known you forever, and I have to remind myself of how long it's really been. Other times, it feels like we're just getting started."

Haley nodded, leaning her head forward to kiss him. They'd been doing it a lot lately…kissing. Holding hands, too. Neither one of them really thought anything of it anymore, as it had become a part of their routine. They had yet to have the conversation that Nathan was dying to have, but they were getting there. Haley could feel it every time she touched him or talked to him or saw him with their children.

Nathan smiled as her lips connected with his, and when she began to suck on his tongue he moaned. He kept one arm around her back holding her close to him and allowed his other hand to run up her thigh. He took control of the kiss a moment later, but then they were interrupted.

Crying.

It seemed like that's all they ever heard anymore. The twins were almost two months old, and their progress had picked up phenomenally in the last couple of weeks. They had both gained a great amount of weight and were functioning perfectly on their own. Lucy had come home two weeks ago, while James had had to spend some extra time in the hospital. He had now been home for almost a week.

Haley pried her lips off of Nathan's, letting out a short whimper as she rested her forehead against his. "I'm so tired," she mumbled.

"I know, baby," Nathan replied, running a hand through her dark blonde locks. "Let me get them. Stay and rest." He gently eased her off of his lap and then stood up, quickly making his way into the temporary nursery they had set up for the twins.

Haley stayed put for a few minutes, and it wasn't long before she heard the crying stop. It was Lucy's; she knew it. She could discern the subtle differences between the sounds of Jamie and Lucy, and Nathan was jealous of her for it. He could never tell. After a few moments, though, Haley stood up and made her way into the nursery, smiling at Nathan. He was pacing slowly with Lucy pressed against his chest. His large hand covered her back, and his upper body swayed slightly in a nice rhythm. Haley walked over to check on Jamie, who was surprisingly still asleep. Usually when one of them woke up crying, the other was sure to follow. After watching her son for a moment, Haley walked back to Nathan, who was now standing still. She ran her hand over Lucy's head. "She shouldn't be hungry. I just fed her an hour ago. Did she need to be changed?"

Nathan shook his head. "No, I checked. She stopped crying as soon as I picked her up though. I don't think she really needed anything."

Haley smiled. "I guess she just wanted her daddy."

"That's me," Nathan muttered sheepishly, accompanying the words with a grin. He couldn't resist making small comments like that sometimes. Fatherhood still amazed him.

Reaching up to caress his cheek, Haley smiled and nodded. "You're a daddy." When he leaned down, she met his lips in a soft kiss, which was once again interrupted.

This time, it was James's cries that stopped them, and Haley walked over to the crib, shaking her head. "I knew that was going to happen." She picked her small son up and kissed the top of his head before settling him in her arms. "Now, _he _definitely does need a new diaper." Haley made a face before walking the short distance to the changing table and gently laying him down on it.

Nathan laughed as he watched her change their son.

Haley glanced over her shoulder to glare at him. "You know, I don't know why I asked if you'd changed her. You probably would have called me to do it. Have you even changed a diaper since they've come home?" She turned back around, continuing to change James's diaper.

Nathan playfully rolled his eyes as he used his hand to rub his daughter's back. "Of course I have, Hales."

"Oh, yeah? When?" Haley challenged.

Nathan was silent.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Haley replied with a laugh. She bent over to grab a diaper and pulled one out, cursing as she did so. "Damn it."

"What?"

Haley sighed, beginning to fasten the diaper on, as well as the little onesie James was wearing. Then she picked him up and turned to face Nathan. "That was the last diaper. Did you not go to the store like I asked you to?"

Nathan bit his lip. "When did you ask me to go to the store?"

"Yesterday, when you were on your way out to meet Lucas," Haley reminded him.

"Oh," Nathan said slowly, the memory seemingly coming back to him.

Haley sighed again. "Yeah…oh. Nathan, what are we supposed to do? We can't go all night without any diapers."

Nathan shifted Lucy in his arms and kissed her nose before laying her back down in the crib. "I'll go get some right now," he said.

"Nathan, it's almost midnight."

"I know," he replied. "But like you said, we can't go all night without any diapers." He walked over to her and kissed her forehead and then his son's. "I'll be right back, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay." She watched him start to walk away and then called his name. When he turned around, she gave him a smile and said, "Come here."

He returned her smile and retraced his steps back to her before leaning in for a kiss. It was long but chaste, and when it was over Nathan winked at her before turning to leave again.

Haley heard her daughter begin to cry softly from her spot inside the crib, and she walked over, reaching in with her free hand. "Don't worry, baby. Daddy will be back."

* * *

"Oh, my God! Where the hell have you been?" Haley nearly yelled, running out of the nursery when she heard the front door open.

Nathan set the bag of diapers down next to the door and furrowed his brow. "Sorry, the line was really long. What's up? Is everything okay?"

"No," Haley breathed. "Everything is not okay. As soon as you left, Lucy started crying, and she just kept getting louder and louder. And then James started doing it, too, and every time I picked one of them up they just cried harder. I tried everything. They won't stop."

He could hear both of them now, and he quickly walked into the nursery. "Are they sick or something?" he mumbled as he passed by Haley. He walked over to their crib and reached for his son, gently lifting him into his arms. With his free hand, he rubbed Lucy's tummy, and the two babies almost instantly stopped crying.

Haley stood, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. Before she knew it her eyes had filled with tears, and she was shaking her head furiously. She saw Nathan turn around and open his mouth to speak, but she held her hand up. "Don't even say it. It's clear who their favorite is," she muttered before turning around and marching into Nathan's bedroom, where she had been sleeping for over a month now. She slammed the door behind herself and leaned against his dresser, running a hand through her hair in an attempt to calm herself down.

Nathan was bewildered. Haley's mood had completely changed in the twenty minutes he had been gone to the store. Not wanting the babies to start screaming again, he stayed with them until they fell asleep, which took almost a full hour. Once he was sure they were both out, he turned the baby monitor on and left the room. He walked down the hall and turned the knob of his bedroom door, surprised that it wasn't locked. He pushed it open slowly and walked in, seeing Haley on the floor. She was sitting Indian style with probably one hundred magazines spread out around her. She was wearing a pair of Nathan's boxers and one of her own tank tops. Her reading glasses were on, and she looked like she was incredibly focused on the words and pictures in front of her.

"Haley, what are you doing?" Nathan asked quietly, squatting next to her.

She looked up at him briefly, not wishing for him to see the puffiness of her eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing?" she answered sarcastically. "I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that my children hate me."

Nathan furrowed his brow, now sitting down fully on the ground. "What are talking about?" he inquired. "They do not hate you."

This time, she looked up at him fully. The care she'd had for her appearance a moment ago had quickly diminished. "Well they don't love me," she retorted. "That much is clear."

He scooted closer to her, and when she picked up another magazine he carefully took it from her and placed it back on the ground. "Haley, those babies love you more than anyone in this world." He shook his head. "And that's without even knowing the sacrifices you've made for them. They know who you are, and they do love you. I promise you that."

"Is that what they told you?" Haley muttered weakly and sarcastically. She sighed and bit her lip, bringing her hands to her lap and beginning to wring them together. "Nathan, I couldn't even get them to stop crying while you were gone. And as soon as they saw you, they were fine. You were all they wanted." She took a deep breath. "What's going to happen when we're in Boston and you have away games? You'll be gone most of the season. They're just going to cry the whole time."

Nathan shook his head again, moving even closer so that he could wrap his arms around her. "That's not true. Babe, they love both of us. I'm sure the same thing will happen to me at some point."

Haley leaned into him and shook her head. "But I couldn't even get them to stop crying," she protested. "What kind of a mother does that make me? They aren't even two months old yet, and I'm already doing it wrong."

"No, you're not," Nathan reassured her, placing a kiss on her temple as well. "Hales, sometimes babies just have to cry. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. In fact, I know you couldn't possibly have done anything wrong because you're an amazing mother. You've been around babies your entire life, and you know how to handle them."

"Yeah, all of them but my own," she muttered.

Nathan pulled his arms away from her body and cupped her face, making her look at him. "Stop it," he said gently. "I know you're probably thinking like this because you didn't get to see them right after they were born, but you have got to stop it. You are the best mom a kid could ask for, and James and Lucy are lucky to have you. They love you, and they know you love them."

Haley nodded slowly, biting her lip again. She brought one hand up to her face and removed her glasses, setting them atop the stack of magazines. She ran the same hand under her eyes to erase some of her tears. "I'm sorry," she said a moment later. "I know that they love me. I'm just…it's just hard. They're still so small, and it scares me that they were in the hospital for so long. And clearly, my mood swings haven't left me yet."

Nathan smiled softly, running his thumb over her cheekbone. "It scares me, too, Hales. But they're healthy now, and we've got nothing to worry about. Our family is fine."

She nodded again and repeated herself. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Nathan replied. "Just give your roommate a kiss, and then let's get some sleep while we still can." He smiled.

"Roommate?" Haley questioned.

"What?"

"Nathan, we're more than roommates," she replied, as if it were obvious.

He nodded. "To be honest, Hales, I don't really know what we are. We kiss, we hold hands, we shower together…but we haven't discussed any of it. You always change the subject."

"I'm just trying to go slow," she told him.

"I know," he replied. "I just…I don't know. Never mind." He stood up and extended his hand.

Haley gripped his hand with her own and allowed him to help her up.

"Alright, good night," Nathan said, turning to leave.

"Nathan."

He turned around. "Yeah, Hales?"

"Why don't you stay in here tonight?" she offered.

"With you?"

Haley blushed lightly and nodded. "Yes, with me. Baby steps, right? And besides…it's been too long. I miss sleeping next to you."

Nathan smiled, walking back towards her. "I miss sleeping next to you, too." He took her hand and they both got under the covers, Nathan removing everything but his boxers first. They turned off their lamps, and Haley snuggled into Nathan's side, her arm draped over his toned stomach. Nathan wrapped both his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

Haley threw one of her legs over his in an attempt to get even closer to the man next to her. She dropped a soft kiss on his chest and then lay her head back down. "I love you, too," she whispered, closing her eyes.

Nathan felt like she hadn't said those words to him in forever, and immediately his heart began to race. He smiled, and his grip on her tightened instinctively. He was so excited about the rest of their lives together, and he just knew that they were on their way back. He could tell when Haley looked at him, even if she hadn't said it yet. They were back, and they were better than ever.

* * *

"I can't believe you're leaving already, man," Nathan said with a shake of his head. He clapped his brother on the back as he spoke.

"Shouldn't you be doing the same?" Lucas replied, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, we're leaving soon. We found a really great apartment up there, so it shouldn't be long now." He glanced across the room, where he could see Brooke and Haley talking. They both looked like they were about to cry. "Haley's nervous about getting the babies up there safely. I am, too, actually. But she insists that we drive. No other forms of transportation may be used."

Lucas laughed. "Twelve hours in the car with two babies…have fun with that one."

"Yeah, it'll probably be pretty rough," Nathan agreed.

"The timing does suck though," Lucas said. "I mean, I haven't been able to spend much time with Lucy and Jamie. Plus, if we stayed together I'd get to experience whipped Nathan. Oh, and let's not forget celibate Nathan." Lucas chuckled.

Nathan shook his head, glancing back at Haley who was smiling at him, trying to hold back her tears at saying goodbye to her best friend. Nathan returned the smile and then glared at his brother. "Shut up," he muttered.

Lucas laughed harder. "How long's it been now, little brother?"

"Dude," Nathan warned, raising his eyebrows for effect.

Lucas stopped laughing and apologized. "Alright, I'm sorry. You know I'm just messing with you. You're doing really well with everything, Nate. You're a great father, and your patience with Haley is great, too. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Luke."

"Alright, well I guess we'd better go." He looked behind his brother but no longer saw Haley and Brooke in the room. "Where'd the girls go?"

Nathan furrowed his brow. "The babies' room, I'm guessing." He led his brother through the hall, and sure enough Brooke and Haley were standing in the nursery, each with a wide awake baby in their arms.

Both girls noticed the guys, and Brooke stuck her bottom lip out. "They're so cute, and we're going to miss everything."

Nathan stepped closer to Haley and shrugged. "I don't know, Brooke. Hales will probably need some company in Boston while I'm away, so you could fly out whenever you want and see the babies."

Brooke quirked an eyebrow, realizing that he was right. "I knew I liked you for a reason, Baby Daddy."

"Excuse me?" Nathan replied, not sure if he'd heard her right.

"I said I knew I liked you for a reason."

Nathan turned to face Haley. "Did she just call me Baby Daddy?"

Haley bit her lip and nodded.

"It's my nickname for you," Brooke stated nonchalantly. "Do you like it?"

Nathan shrugged. "I guess."

"What?" Haley asked skeptically. "I thought you would hate it."

He shrugged again. "Normally I would, but…I am a daddy," he said with a wide grin.

Haley rolled her eyes but smiled. "He says that every chance he gets, I swear."

They stood in the nursery for several more minutes, just chatting about nothing, before Lucas announced that he and Brooke had to go or they would miss their flight. So they said their final farewells. Brooke and Haley both let a few tears go, while Lucas and Nathan hugged it out. Once they were gone and the babies had been settled, Nathan saw Haley sitting on the edge of his bed. He knocked on the door softly before walking in, and then he sat next to her. "You okay?" he asked.

She nodded and smiled softly. "Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?"

"I'm good," he confirmed with a nod.

They were silent for a few seconds, and Haley turned to face him, bringing one leg up onto the bed. "So, I um…I don't…um…"

"Hales," Nathan said with a short chuckle. She was twisting her pinky ring and biting her lip, so he knew she must be nervous or uncomfortable. "It's me."

She gave him a small smile and nodded. "I…I mean, I wasn't trying to listen or anything, but when we were out in the living room I heard Lucas say that you were celibate." The words came rushing out of her, and she wasn't even sure he'd be able to decipher what she'd said. But when she saw the look on his face, she knew he had. "And I was just…wondering if that was true."

"Hales, you know it is," Nathan replied, honestly surprised that she'd brought the subject of sex up. Did she still not trust him? Did she think that he was hooking up with girls behind her back?

She placed a hand on his knee and shook her head. "No, I mean…I know that you are now. And I'm not accusing you of anything. But all those weeks we weren't together and didn't speak…before the babies were born…you never-"

"No," Nathan replied quietly. "Never. I would never do that to you."

Haley nodded. "I believe you," she whispered. "So, it's been-"

"Six and a half months," he supplied.

"Wow," Haley breathed, laughing slightly. "Did you count the hours, too?"

Nathan laughed and shook his head. "No, I did not count the hours. It's a lot though, I'm sure." He smirked.

Haley rolled her eyes, smacking his arm playfully.

"But don't worry," he whispered into her ear. "I've been getting releases."

Haley's face instantly turned red, and her eyes widened. "Nath-"

"And before you say anything, I've been getting them because of you," he continued to whisper. "Every time I'm alone and I think of you, there are all these feelings and desires that I can't control."

She raised an eyebrow as her blush deepened. "You know, you kind of sound like a pervert right now," she teased him.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He gently took one of her hands from her lap and brought it to the front of his pants. "Do you think I'm a pervert now?"

Haley inhaled quickly as she felt how hard he was. "God, Nathan," she whispered, launching herself forward. She pushed him back on the bed and straddled him, pushing passionate kisses against his lips. In no time at all, she had his shirt off and her tongue in his mouth.

Nathan let out a low groan as he felt her nails scratching down his abs. His partner's top was off a moment later, and so was her bra. "Haley," Nathan whispered, pulling his lips away from hers. "We don't have to do this tonight."

"I want to," Haley whispered back.

"Haley," Nathan said, while stroking her cheek. "So do I. But are you well enough? Be honest."

Haley bit her lip and shook her head slowly. Not a second later she pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "But I want you," she whispered.

Nathan smiled softly, carefully rolling her over so that she was on her back. He lay on his side with one hand holding his head up and the other resting just below Haley's breasts. "We've got all the time in the world, baby. I promise."

She sighed and nodded, bringing one of her hands up to cover his on her body. She pulled it lower so that it covered the scar from almost two months ago.

Nathan quietly commanded her to look at him, and she did so. He gave her a small smile, stroking the skin of her stomach softly. "I've never loved you or wanted you more than I do right now, today, in this moment," he whispered. "In my eyes, the only thing this scar is is a reminder of the amazing sacrifices you've made for our children. You gave them life, and you gave me them, Haley. Do you understand how amazing that is?"

Haley nodded slowly, looking directly into his eyes. "I know."

"Do you?" he repeated.

She nodded again.

"Good because you're beautiful. I told you that that day in the shower, and it's still true." Nathan leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on the top of her breast. He made his way down, ending his journey at her beautiful scar. "You look thinner," he observed.

Haley shook her head. "I've just been losing the pregnancy weight, Nathan. It's nothing. It's normal."

He raised his head to look at her. "Are you sure? I haven't seen you eating lately, Hales. It-"

"Nathan," she interrupted him, raising her hand to cup his cheek. She gave him a soft smile, trying to reassure him that she really was okay. "My meal schedule has been crazy since the babies came home. I eat when I can, and I eat enough. Don't get paranoid."

"I'm not paranoid," he protested.

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Babe, yes you are."

He shook his head. "Haley, you're skinnier than you were before you got pregnant."

"As I've already explained to you, my schedule is crazy right now. You know that. Plus, my body's healing, and it's going through changes. You know that, too. So believe me. You know I would never do anything like that."

"Okay," Nathan relented with a nod. "I'm sorry. I know we're both still worried about the babies, but I'm worried about you, too."

"I know, and I love that you are."

Nathan smiled and kissed her again, this time softly and slowly. "Do I get to stay in here again tonight?" he questioned after pulling away.

Haley tapped her chin and pretended to think. Then she pursed her lips cutely, looking at Nathan. "I'll have to think about that, mister."

"Like hell you will," Nathan retorted cockily.

Haley laughed and rolled her eyes, moving onto her side and scooting closer to him so that their bare chests were touching. She took hold of the chain around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her.

Nathan smiled as they kissed, and after a minute he pulled away, wrapping both his arms around her tightly. "Baby steps, right?" he whispered, repeating her words from the previous evening.

She nodded, smiling because she knew that he understood what she needed from him. "Baby steps," she repeated quietly.

* * *

"Excuse me," Haley said loudly. "Where the hell are you going with that?"

The two men put the piece of furniture down and looked at each other. "The office, ma'am," one of them said.

Haley threw her hands into the air. "It's a crib, for Christ's sake. Does that sound like a piece of furniture fit for the office? Or would it be better suited for oh, I don't know, the nursery?" Her hands were on her hips, and she was angry. The issue wasn't really a big deal, as the men had barely even made it into the large apartment. They wouldn't have to backtrack. But Haley had been dealing with the same stuff all day long, and she was really tired of it. Nathan was at his first day of training camp, and she was taking care of the babies and supervising the movers. It was a lot of work, despite what it looked like, and she was exhausted. She wanted Nathan's training to end so that he could come home and help her, but she knew that wasn't an option. He'd only been gone for an hour.

"Sorry, ma'am," one of the men apologized. "We'll take it to the nursery right away."

Haley sighed, shaking her head as she walked away. "I should have just done this myself. It would have gone a lot quicker."

Not five minutes later, one of the same men was calling for her. "Miss James."

Haley stormed into the hallway with her hands on her hips again. "What?"

The man opened the door at the end of the long hallway and gestured inside. "This room's already furnished. Does anything else go in here?"

Haley crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. "No," she said quietly, staring into the room just as she had done a week earlier. Absentmindedly, she began twisting the ring on her left hand ring finger.

"_Nathan, I can't close my eyes. Our daughter is in my arms," Haley protested. _

_Nathan smiled and rolled his eyes. He paused in the hallway and carefully set down the car seat which held his son. He set down the empty one as well and then held his arms out. He received Lucy and lay her down in the car seat, tickling her belly gently. He smiled at her and watched as she returned it. He couldn't get enough of seeing his babies smiling. It happened often now. The doctor had warned them that it might not happen at the regular time, and it hadn't. But once they'd started, they'd never stopped. "Alright," Nathan said, standing up again and picking up both car seats this time. "Close your eyes." _

_Haley let out a short grunt but did as she was told. "You better not let me run into anything, Nathan Scott," she warned, stretching both of her arms out in front of her body. "I haven't seen the whole apartment yet. I don't know where things are." _

"_I won't let you run into anything, baby," Nathan promised her. He walked in front of her and guided her to the end of the hallway. Telling her to keep her eyes closed, he opened the door and set the car seats down inside. He took Haley's arms and led her into the room, finally saying, "Open your eyes." _

_She opened them, and as soon as she saw the room both of her hands flew up to her mouth and covered it. She took in every inch of the large room before finally dropping her hands by her sides again. "Oh, my gosh," she whispered. "Nathan, what did you do?" _

_The walls were all red, and there was a fireplace on the back wall. The floors were wooden, just like the rest of the apartment, and the ceiling was painted black. There were two large windows which were letting a tremendous amount of light into the room, and a beautifully shaped ceiling fan hung from above. In one corner was a big, beautiful, black piano, and that alone was enough to take Haley's breath away. The guitar she'd played for him was on a stand against one wall, and right next to it was a brand new guitar that she'd never seen before. Also in the room was a large desk, already supplied with all of Haley's things. The rest of the room was decorated to perfection, and Haley actually began to tear up in reaction to it. _

_Nathan moved so that he was in front of her, and he took both her hands in his. "Haley, you've given up so much this past year. I mean, you didn't even get to graduate. And I know you'll go back and finish school someday, but I also know you want to be with James and Lucy." He smiled. "I also know that you love music, and you're good. Despite what you may think, you are good enough to be a musician…a real one." _

_Haley laughed softly. "Nathan, I can't believe you did all of this. It's beautiful." _

"_You deserve to have something of your own, Haley, and I want you to have it. Everything you do is for other people. This is for you." _

_She shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. She pulled her hands away from his and brought them up to his face, cupping his cheeks. She smiled at him as she spoke. "You are the most amazing man I have ever met, Nathan Scott, and I can't wait to be your wife." _

_Nathan furrowed his brow, pulling back slightly. "What?" _

_Haley pulled the long chain out of his shirt and then reached to the back of his neck, where she undid it. She slipped the ring off and handed it to Nathan. "I want to marry you, Nathan. I know it's taken me a while to get back to this place, but I'm here. We're here, and I've been fooling myself thinking otherwise. You are the man that I want as my husband, and you are the man that I want to grow old with. I won't allow myself to deny it anymore." _

"_Are…are you serious?" Nathan stuttered. He knew she was because he could no longer feel the chain around his neck. Instead, he felt the weight of her engagement ring in his hand. The moment just felt too good though; it had to be a dream._

"_I'm serious," she whispered, holding out her left hand. She watched him stare at her hand for several seconds before slipping the diamond ring onto her finger, where it had belonged for all this time. "I love you." _

_He nodded, almost immediately pulling her body flush against his. "I love you, too," he mumbled before pressing his lips against hers. _

_Haley kissed him back fervently, but she broke it off when she heard one of her babies whimper. "Thank you for this," she whispered to Nathan. "All of this. It means the world to me that you would do something so incredible for me." _

"_I'm just giving you what you've given me, Hales," he replied. "And you deserve it." _

"Ma'am."

Haley's head snapped to the side to acknowledge where the voice was coming from.

"Ma'am, where would you like this?"

She blinked several times, still playing with her engagement ring as she tried to bring herself back from her haze. "Um, over…over there is fine," she said, pointing into the living room area.

She was fairly kind to the movers for the rest of the day, and everything got put in its right place. Haley just had to unpack the little stuff, and the apartment would officially be their home. She spent the rest of her day doing just that, as well as tending to Lucy and Jamie. Nathan was supposed to be home at five, and at half past six Haley started to get a little worried. Lucy and Jamie had just fallen asleep after being fed, and even though the quiet was nice Haley wanted to be with Nathan. She wanted to see him and ask him about his day. She wanted to comfort him while simultaneously allowing him to comfort her. It was what they did best.

At seven o'clock there was a knock on the door, and Haley furrowed her brow as she got up to go answer the door. It was a private apartment, so she wasn't really sure who could have gotten in. Plus, they were new and knew hardly anybody. She looked out the peephole and was confused to see Nathan standing there. Had he forgotten his front door key? Haley pulled the door open. "Nathan, what are you doing?"

Nathan smiled at her, holding out a bouquet of little purple flowers. He was dressed in dark jeans and a nice button down shirt. He didn't want to make Haley feel uncomfortable by being too overdressed; she was wearing jeans and a purple tank top. Once she had accepted his flowers, Nathan spoke. "I'm here to pick you up for our date," he stated obviously.

"Date? Nathan, we can't go on a date. We have Lucy and Jamie here. And I'm not leaving them with anyone." Haley closed the door once he was inside and walked into the kitchen, filling a vase with water for the flowers.

"Don't worry, fiancée. I've got it all figured out." Nathan winked at her. It felt so damn good to call her that again.

Haley quirked an eyebrow but didn't say anything. She arranged the flowers in the vase and set it in the middle of the island.

"So are you ready?"

She laughed slightly, looping her arm through his. It all felt pretty childish, considering the fact that they were inside of their new apartment in Boston. But Haley had enjoyed what he'd done so far, and she wasn't quite ready for it to be over. "I trust you," she said quietly, returning his wink from earlier.

Nathan smiled and led her through the living room and to their bedroom. They walked to the doors of their balcony, and he told her to close her eyes.

"I'm feeling some déjà vu," Haley muttered with a chuckle as she closed her eyes.

Nathan continued to smile as he opened the balcony doors. He walked her out. "Open your eyes."

Once again, Haley's breath was taken away by the man before her. It wasn't anything crazy, but it was beautiful. On their balcony was a little round table with covered dishes, and there were rose petals sprinkled all over the ground. A small radio sat on a table in the corner and played jazz music. "Nathan, what is all this?"

As Nathan walked her over to her seat and pulled her chair out for her, he spoke. "Well I don't know if you remember, but today is the anniversary of our very first date, Haley James." He walked around the small table and sat down, uncovering both of the dishes. "I didn't want everything to be exactly the same, but I did make your favorite dish."

She raised an eyebrow. "_You _made my favorite dish?" She eyed the macaroni and cheese disapprovingly, although it did look pretty damn tasty.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Okay, I picked up your favorite dish. I didn't want to ruin the date by making you sick."

Haley shook her head in disbelief. "I cannot believe you remembered that we had our first date today. You're unbelievable." She smiled. "And I love this, Nathan. I really do, but Lucy and Jamie are inside, and we can't leave them there without knowing what's going on. It still freaks me out; you know that."

"I do," Nathan said with a nod. From the ground he picked up their baby monitor and sat it down on the tabletop. He turned the dial so they could hear the static coming from the babies' room.

"Wow. You really do think of everything," Haley surmised. "When did you do all of this anyways?"

Nathan shrugged. "I may have _forgotten _to tell you about the back entrance to the apartment. I snuck in after practice and did it. I wanted to surprise you."

She smiled and leaned across the table, brushing her lips against his softly. "Well you've certainly succeeded, Mr. Scott."

"Well I'm glad, Mrs. Scott."

Haley raised both her eyebrows.

"Soon to be," Nathan mumbled, a large smile still on his face. It had been a week, and he was still in shock from Haley's reacceptance of his proposal.

She scoffed. "You really are cocky. Who says I'm taking your last name?"

He shrugged. "You will."

"And how do you know, Mr. Ego?"

"Who wouldn't want to be connected to me?"

She let out a full laugh and reached across the table, smacking his arm. "A lot of people, I presume."

Nathan laughed and shook his head. "Eat up. It's going to get cold."

They ate, talked, and laughed. There wasn't a single awkward moment, and it was just proof that they were back. They had made it. They had survived a lot of curveballs, and they would make it through whatever life decided to throw their way. They were a team, and they were unstoppable.

Once they had both finished eating, Nathan stood up and offered his hand. Music was still playing softly, and he bowed. "May I have this dance?" he asked in a deep voice.

Haley rolled her eyes but accepted his hand. It was surprising to even herself that she remembered the exact moment he had said those words to her on their first date. She stood, bringing her body up against his. She placed both her hands over his chest and rested her head there as well, just wanting to be as close as possible to him.

Nathan's arms were wrapped securely around her as they continued to move slowly to the music. "Do you remember the first time we danced together?" he whispered after a moment.

She nodded her head against his chest. "That was an amazing night, Nathan. So is tonight." She pulled her head back and caressed his cheek with one hand. "Every night with you is amazing."

He smiled, leaning down for one soft kiss. "Do you want to know what words I remember most about that night?"

She nodded again, still looking into his blue orbs.

"I can't have sex with you," Nathan said. His expression was serious at first, but then he simply couldn't hold himself back any longer. He smirked.

Haley pulled away from his body completely, smacking him in the chest. "Jackass! We were having a moment."

Nathan laughed. "Hales, you know I was kidding."

As if on cue, a loud round of cries broke out over the baby monitor, drowning out the jazz music that could be heard before that. "Clearly, so was I," Haley muttered.

"You're not really mad, are you?" Nathan asked, just wanting to make sure.

Haley bit her lip and shrugged innocently. "We'll see." She smacked his ass before running past him into their bedroom.

"Oh no," Nathan let out as he laughed. He ran after her, quickly pinning her on the bed. His lips found hers instantly, and he kissed her passionately.

"Nathan," Haley mumbled into their kiss. When he didn't respond, she spoke louder. "Nathan!"

He pulled away smirking at her.

"Our children are crying, and your one track mind can't think of anything else," she teased. She gently pushed him off of her and stood up. "I'm going to go check on your son and daughter. When I get back," she started, leaning down and placing her lips next to his ear, "you're all mine, fiancé."


	26. Chapter 26

**This hasn't happened in a while! I couldn't stop writing with these last two chapters, so here we are. The reviews for 25 were awesome, so thank you very much for those! This one's got some sexual stuff, so if you're not into it skip. But I think most of you are pretty used to it by now. I'll probably change the rating to M sometime in the morning, so be ready for that. I've been meaning to do it for a while now and just kept forgetting. My next story is most definitely M. I'm sad that this story is coming to a close, too. I think I'm more attached to it than any other story I've ever written. Thank you for the happy birthdays, too! You guys are awesome.**

* * *

"I think I'm pregnant."

_She was two weeks late, and she was really starting to worry. Of course they had been careful, but things happen. Mistakes happen. Miracles happen. _

_As soon as she realized that she might, in fact, be pregnant she left the apartment and bought four different pregnancy tests. If she was going to find out, she needed to be sure about the results. And she sure as hell couldn't tell him if she wasn't sure. She could already see that disaster being played out. _

_Once she was home she ran into the bathroom and took each and every at-home test she had purchased. They all had different wait times, and she couldn't wait to look at all of them at the same time. She watched the clock for each one, and when the first one was ready she closed her eyes and picked it up. _

Positive.

"_God," she breathed, tossing the test into the trashcan. She made a mental note to empty it once she was done, so as not to leave any evidence of her discovery behind. Not even sixty seconds later, the second was done, and she picked it up._

Negative.

"_What the hell?" she muttered. She threw that one in the trash, too, albeit a bit harder than the last. How could one be positive and the other be negative? She was either pregnant or she wasn't. She just wanted to know. Picking up the third test, she took a deep breath._

Negative.

_She furrowed her brow. Maybe she wasn't pregnant. Maybe she really was just late. She breathed a silent sigh of relief at that thought and threw the test away. One minute later the last test was ready, and she shakily lifted it into her hands. She kept her eyes closed for several seconds before finally opening them to see the results._

Positive.

_Now she was starting to get pissed off. "What the fuck?" she nearly yelled, using all of her strength to chuck the last test into the garbage. _

_Apparently he was home and had heard her. He was knocking on the door, and then he spoke. "What's wrong, baby?" _

"_Oh, um…nothing." She sighed. "Nothing, I'll be out in a sec." _

"_Alright," he replied skeptically as he backed away from the door._

_The rest of the evening was a blur. She knew that he could tell something was off by the way she was acting and the words she was saying, but she also knew he had no idea what was bothering her. He couldn't possibly. Almost immediately after leaving the bathroom, she had taken the trash out and made sure to dispose of all four tests in a place where he would never find them. He tried to get her to talk to him, but she didn't know what to say. She couldn't talk to him about this…not now. They lay down for bed around eleven o'clock, but she couldn't sleep. To try was useless, so she carefully crawled out of their large bed and shuffled into the hallway, grabbing her cell phone on the way. She walked until she reached her office and then opened the door. After closing it, she took a seat at her desk and dialed her best friend's phone number._

"What?" the shocked voice returned.

"Don't make me say it again. I think-"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm just…I'm shocked. You guys have always been so careful."

Brooke rolled her eyes, knowing her friend couldn't see her face anyways so it didn't matter. "I know that, Haley. God…I'm on the fucking pill. And still, we use a condom every single time. I don't understand how this could have happened."

Haley really was shocked. That was the last thing she had expected at three thirty in the middle of the night. She'd been up with the twins, but Nathan was still asleep. Now she was glad because she really needed to focus on the problem at hand. "Well maybe you're not," Haley reasoned. "Have you gone to the doctor yet?"

"No," Brooke said with a sigh. "I'm making an appointment tomorrow. I was going to do it tonight, but Lucas would have heard me. I'll do it while he's at basketball."

"Maybe you should just tell him, Brooke. He deserves to know what's going on with you."

Brooke shook her head. "No, I don't want to stress him out until it's a sure thing. He's got basketball, and he's so busy right now."

"Well it's your decision," Haley told her. "Did you take a test at least, though?"

"God, don't make me think about those damn things," Brooke whined. "I took four! Two were negative, and two were positive, so that clearly got me nowhere."

Haley could certainly understand the freak out Brooke was experiencing, but she needed to calm down. "You need to calm down," Haley told her. "Just breathe. Maybe you'll get lucky and get an appointment for tomorrow. Then you'll know, and this will all be over."

"Unless I'm pregnant!" Brooke cried. She glanced back at the door. She was trying to keep her voice down so that she wouldn't wake Lucas up.

Haley cradled the phone in her ear as she leaned over the front of the babies' crib and picked her son up. He was getting fussy again, and she couldn't seem to calm him down at all. She sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the room and began to rock back and forth slowly. "Brooke, if you're pregnant you're going to be fine. You and Lucas will be fine. But there's no need to freak out until you know for sure. Trust me on that."

"I know, Tutor Mom, but I'm not ready for something like this," Brooke continued. "I'm not like you. I don't adjust easily."

"Brooke, if you're not ready now you will be. Just calm down, and take a deep breath. If you are pregnant, you don't need to be worrying yourself like this, okay?" Haley cradled James in one arm and held the phone up to her ear with the other.

Brooke sighed loudly. "You're right. I know that, but I just can't help it. This is a huge thing, and if I'm pregnant my life is going to change forever."

"Yeah, it will," Haley agreed. "But believe me when I say that having a baby changes your life in the best way possible, Brooke. Yes, it's scary, but it is so worth it. And if you're worried about how Luke is going to react, don't. He's a great guy, and he'll be there for you. Everything is going to be fine."

Brooke took a deep breath, as Haley had instructed her to do a moment earlier. "Okay," she finally whispered. "I'll try to stay calm. I just…I didn't even think I wanted kids at all, let alone right now, you know?"

Haley nodded as she watched her son, who was still squirming and whimpering. "I know, Brookie. Try to get some sleep, okay? Call and get an appointment in the morning, and then let me know how it goes."

"Alright," Brooke replied with a short nod to herself. She could get through this; she had to. "Thank you, Haley."

"For what?" Haley brushed off. "Good night, okay?"

"Good night."

Haley ended the call and set her phone down on the nightstand which sat next to the rocking chair. She was still rocking slowly, and she shifted James in her arms so that he was against her chest. His cries were getting louder, and she desperately wanted him to stop. The last thing she wanted was to wake Nathan up. He trained so hard during the day, and he needed to get plenty of rest, although he always insisted on helping her. When Jamie still wouldn't stop, Haley let out a short, frustrated groan.

Then she decided to try something that she hadn't before. Singing.

She sang quietly the words of some ancient lullaby as she rubbed the baby's back slowly. In just sixty short seconds, his cries had calmed down to soft whimpers, and in another sixty he was almost cooing.

"And you thought that they hated you," she heard from the doorway.

Haley looked up quickly. Nathan was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. With one glance down at her son, she knew he was asleep, but she didn't make any moves to get up. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked, slightly embarrassed.

He shrugged. "Pretty much since you got off of the phone. Who were you talking to at three thirty in the morning?" he asked, stifling a yawn. He uncrossed his arms and walked over to her, squatting next to the rocking chair. He kept his balance by putting a hand on her knee.

"Brooke," Haley answered. She saw him yawn again and shook her head. "I'm sorry we woke you up, Nathan. You should go back to bed."

Nathan shook his head. "If you're up with them, I should be, too."

"Not when you have practice at six o'clock," Haley retorted. "You need to get some sleep."

"It's fine," he assured her. "What did Brooke want?"

Haley sighed as she thought about it. "She thinks she might be pregnant."

Nathan's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, I know. She hasn't gone to the doctor yet, so it could be a false alarm. She took four at-home tests. Two were positive, and two were negative."

"Wow. Has she talked to Luke?"

She shook her head. "No, I think she's scared to. I told her it would be for the best though. I think he deserves to know, even if it is just a scare."

Nathan nodded. He took his hand off of her knee and reached up to caress her cheek, giving her a smile. "I love the way my girl thinks. You're a great friend, Hales."

"Thank you," she replied in a whisper, still mindful of the two sleeping babies in the room. As that thought entered her mind, she stood from the rocking chair and carried Jamie back to the crib, laying him down next to his sister. She stretched and yawned afterwards. It was true that Nathan needed sleep, but so did Haley. Neither of them got enough. She walked back over to Nathan, who was now standing, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned up on her toes and nuzzled her nose against his. "Hey, handsome."

Nathan smirked, resting both his hands on her hips. "Well hello, beautiful." He leaned down to meet her lips, and they kissed gently for a few minutes.

When Haley pulled away, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the hallway, shutting the nursery door halfway. As they made their way into their bedroom, she asked him a question. "So, babe…you're off next Saturday, right?"

He nodded, taking a seat on the bed and getting under the covers. He watched as Haley did the same. "Yeah, why? Did you want to do something?"

She answered his question with a nod. "I made some plans for us, okay? But it's a surprise so I can't tell you anything about it."

"Oh," Nathan said, excited about the prospect of hanging out with Haley and the babies all day Saturday. "With James and Lucy?"

"Nope, it's just going to be the two of us," she told him. "They've got a babysitter for the night."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Since when do you allow anyone to stay alone with them, Mommy?"

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "I'm branching out. Enough questions; we need to sleep. You don't get any more information until Saturday."

"You're cutting me off?" he asked, feigning offense.

"You bet your ass I am," she replied with a wink. She lay down completely in the bed and turned away from him.

Nathan chuckled, scooting closer to her. He spooned her, keeping one hand on her ass the entire time. "Your ass," he whispered into her ear, leaving a kiss just below it.

Haley's entire body began to heat up, but she pushed her desires away. They could wait until next Saturday night. "Go to sleep, Daddy."

"Fine," he groaned, laying his head next to hers on the pillow. "Good night, baby."

She reciprocated his words and then closed her eyes, pushing her body closer to his. She could not wait for Saturday night. Only nine more days to go.

* * *

Those nine days seemingly took nine _years. _Haley couldn't even remember many details about her days, due to the horny cloud in her mind. It was an interesting thing for her, especially after having had the twins, but she needed Nathan. She needed him, and after almost seven and a half months of not having him, she was becoming extremely frustrated. There were plenty of times during which she could have shed her clothes and begged him to make love to her, and he would have done it. But she wanted their first time in so long to be special, not just because of how they were feeling but also because of where and how it happened. She felt like it was too risky with the babies' mismatched schedules as well. Their first time in seven and a half months shouldn't be rushed, and it definitely shouldn't be interrupted in any way.

It had taken her this long to fully feel ready for him again, both emotionally and physically. Her body had healed, and she had finally been taken off of her supplements. Being the overcautious person she was, though, Haley had asked her doctor about sex just to make sure. It had embarrassed her to no end, but she wanted to be sure. He had assured her that it would be fine, as long as she was careful and felt well enough for it. Emotionally, Haley felt incredibly connected to Nathan, more so now than ever before. He had gained all of her trust back, and that combined with their parenting the twins together was doing wondrous things for their relationship.

She knew Nathan probably thought she wasn't ready to make love to him yet, both emotionally and physically. The physical part of it would be easy to convince him of, but it was the emotional part that scared Haley. He had to know that she had completely forgiven him and accepted him as her fiancé again. It was imperative that he be convinced of this before they made love. She guessed that tonight would be a surprise to Nathan, and that kind of excited her. She knew he was frustrated, too, so tonight would be good for them. It would be amazing, actually.

It was the middle of the day, and Nathan was out picking up food for lunch. When Haley heard the doorbell ring, she practically ran to the door and opened it wide to let her best friend in. "Brookie!" she shouted, enveloping the woman in a hug.

"Tutor Girl!" Brooke exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her best friend. "It's so good to see you!" She took a step back and looked Haley up and down. "You look hot, Hales. Have you been working out?"

Haley shrugged, nonchalantly spinning for her friend. "A little bit."

"Well damn. Whatever you're doing is working," Brooke complimented. She watched Haley close the front door and then asked, "Now where are my precious niece and nephew?"

Haley smiled. "Come on," she said, leading Brooke down the hall to the nursery.

"_Hey, how'd it go?" Haley answered her phone. She'd been anxious all day as she awaited Brooke's call. She knew she'd had an appointment early in the morning and figured the results must be back by now. Brooke had promised to call as soon as they were. _

"_Um…I'm not pregnant." _

_Both of Haley's eyebrows rose. She had kind of expected her brunette friend to be pregnant after she had described her symptoms earlier that day. "Well what'd they say?" she inquired._

_Brooke shrugged to herself. "Not much. They just said that I'm not pregnant and that sometimes that can happen." _

"_How do you feel?" _

"_I don't know," Brooke responded quietly. "I mean, I'm definitely relieved. I did not want a baby right now, but this has kind of got me thinking that maybe someday I will, you know? I'm just trying to figure out whether or not I see myself having a family in the future. I think it's something that Luke and I need to discuss. I mean, it was kind of stupid for me to move all the way out here with him when we hadn't even discussed something as important as that." _

"_It's not stupid when you're in love, Brooke," Haley told her. "But it is good that you're thinking about it now. I know you're not pregnant, but you still need to tell him what happened. He should know." _

_Brooke nodded. "I know. I will. I've just got to figure out what exactly I'm going to say." _

"Did you talk to Luke?" Haley asked as she watched Brooke interact with her children.

The brunette shook her head. "No, I'm still thinking."

Haley crossed her arms over her chest. "The longer you wait, the more frustrated you're both going to be; trust me." Her statement made her think about her and Nathan's date tonight, and her face suddenly became red. Trying to cover it up, she turned around and began shuffling things around on the changing table.

Brooke narrowed her eyes. "Just why did you ask me to come here anyways?"

"Brooke, you know why. Nathan and I are going out," Haley said nonchalantly.

Brooke eyed her carefully and then raised an eyebrow. "You're going to have sex, aren't you?"

Haley turned around as her eyes widened. "Do not say that with Lucy and James in the room."

"It's not like they're going to repeat it," Brooke excused. "Where are you two lovebirds going anyways?"

"It's a surprise, and I'm not going to tell you before I tell Nathan."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Fine; be boring. I'll pretend that I'm _just _the babysitter and not your best friend, too." She paused. "You'll be gone all night, you said?"

Haley nodded.

"Dirty," Brooke mumbled, winking at her best friend.

Haley rolled her eyes. They continued to talk until Nathan returned, and then they all had lunch together. Nathan had been surprised when Haley had told him that Brooke was going to be their babysitter. She was staying for almost a week, though, so the trip would be worth it. He still had no idea where they were going tonight, but Haley had said that she was going to leave before him and then text him the address of the place to meet her. He was suspicious but also pretty excited about what she had in store for him.

His fiancée left a little after seven, after spending about an hour saying goodbye to James and Lucy. She knew Brooke would take good care of them, but she would still miss her babies. She'd never left them for a night. But she and Nathan needed this, and she was so incredibly excited about it. She wasn't even doing anything all that special, but just the fact that they would get to spend the entire night together, uninterrupted, was enthralling.

She texted him the address of the fancy hotel a little over two hours later. When Nathan pulled in, he furrowed his brow. He figured he'd be meeting her at a restaurant or something. He certainly hadn't anticipated a hotel. But he went in, asking the concierge for Haley's room number. Apparently the man had been expecting Nathan. He gave him the room number and also provided him with a key to the room, as per Miss James's request.

Nathan took the elevator up to the tenth floor and walked down the hall until he reached the door with the same number as the key card he held in his hand. He knocked on the door first, wanting to make sure Haley was in there, but he got no reply. Furrowing his brow, he decided to just go in. He pushed the key card in and opened the door, letting it shut behind him.

He couldn't see Haley anywhere, but the entire hotel room was filled with candles. Each and every one of them was lit, and there were rose petals but only on the bed. Nathan set the card down on the small table beside the door and called out for Haley. Still, he heard nothing. "Hales," he called again, walking through the room now. He saw the bathroom out of the corner of his eye and decided to check there, happy when he spotted his incredibly sexy fiancée standing there with her hands on her hips. She was wearing one of his new, green Celtics shirts, and he genuinely suspected that that was all she was wearing. Her hair was down, but he immediately noticed the differences in color and length. It was shorter, so that it landed just past her shoulders, and darker. It was dark chocolate brown. He honestly hadn't thought his girl could get any sexier, but in that moment he was proved wrong.

"Hales," he managed to choke out after a moment. He barely even noticed that there were candles strewn around the bathroom as well, and the tub was filled with water. Bubbles were almost overflowing the surface, too, but Nathan's eyes stayed glued to Haley.

Haley smiled at his reaction, but a small part of her was silently praying that his shock was a good thing. Deciding that she'd better find out, she walked over to him, making sure her hips swayed sufficiently in the process. When she reached him she gave him a sultry smile and began playing with the hem of his polo. "Do you like it, Nathan?" she asked.

Nathan cleared his throat, not even trusting himself to speak. He was so impossibly hard already, just from looking at her, and he was honestly afraid that if he moved he would blow his load. She was that hot. Instead of speaking he nodded, his eyes still glued to her body. He was staring at her thighs, wanting nothing more than to spread them far apart and bury himself inside of her.

"Tell me you like it," she whispered, her body inches away from his. She knew that he did when she glanced down at his jeans and saw the huge bulge there. But she wanted to hear him say it; she needed to.

Nathan licked his lips, forcing himself to meet her eyes. Not being able to help himself, he reached out and placed his hands on her hips. "I like it," he said huskily. He brought one hand up to her hair and took a strand between his fingers. "I like it," he repeated.

She smiled. "Good." She pushed herself onto her toes and pulled his head down to meet hers in a fiery kiss. Her tongue was very quickly in his mouth, and she pressed her body fully against his. She kissed him for several minutes before pulling away and looking into his eyes. "Nathan, I'm ready," she whispered. When he opened his mouth, she shook her head. "Don't ask me if I'm sure. I'm sure."

That was good enough for Nathan. He knew she wouldn't risk her health just to have sex with him. That wasn't Haley. Instead he began running his hands up and down her sides slowly. "Are you wearing anything under this?" he whispered, his eyes growing darker. One of his hands began to finger the hem of the Celtics shirt she was wearing.

She bit her lip. "Why don't you look and see?" she replied in a whisper. This was so unlike her, but Haley wanted this tonight. She loved how sexy Nathan made her feel, even after having the twins. It was amazing what he could still do to her.

God, she was going to kill him. Nathan swiftly lifted the shirt from her body and threw it on the floor. His mouth went dry when he realized that his earlier suspicions had been correct. "Jesus, Haley," he breathed, taking in her completely naked form.

She smiled again. She was liking his entire reaction to this. She wanted him to want her, which he clearly did, and she sure as hell wanted him. "Take your shirt off, Nathan," she commanded.

He was in no position to argue. Nathan quickly brought his hands to the hem of his polo and lifted it over his head, allowing it to join the Celtics shirt already on the ground.

It was Haley's turn to check him out, and she licked her lips as she let her eyes rove over his body. Eventually she brought her hands to his shoulders and leaned up, leaving several wet kisses on his neck. She kissed across his collarbone and then down his chest. When she made it to his abs she began to lick hot stripes across his skin, smirking when she heard him moan. She moved her hands down his back and grabbed his ass as she dipped her tongue inside of his belly button.

Nathan groaned loudly. He felt like it had been forever since she had touched him, and it felt even better than he remembered. "Hales, take them off," he grunted. "Take my pants off."

Haley pulled her lips away from his skin and looked up at him, a wide smirk planted on her face. Then she raised herself back to regular height and backed into the doorway of the bathroom. "You can take them off yourself, baby."

He wasn't going to complain about that either. All he wanted was to be naked right alongside Haley so that they could finally be together again. If he had to remove his own clothes, then so be it. He reached for his belt buckle and quickly undid it. He undid the button and zipper of his jeans next and pushed them down his legs, kicking off both those and his shoes. He pulled his socks off and then pushed his boxers down, kicking those off as well. Haley had been watching him the entire time, but he hadn't even noticed. He was incredibly eager and not at all ashamed to admit it.

Haley's eyes were glued to his cock even before he was naked. She had never been more turned on in her entire life. "Come here," she whispered, using her index finger to beckon him. As soon as he reached her, she turned around and took his hand in hers, leading them both to the bed. When they had reached the edge she turned around and pressed her body against his. "Now make love to me," she commanded in a quiet voice.

Nathan smiled genuinely before pushing her onto the bed gently. He was on top of her in no time and began kissing down her neck. Soon he made it to her breasts and began lavishing both with equal amounts of attention.

"Nathan," Haley interrupted him, just as he was leaving her breasts.

"Yeah, Hales?" He looked up at her, but when he saw the serious look on her face he moved his face back up to hers. "What is it, baby?"

She caressed his cheek with one hand, the other firmly resting on his back. "I just need you to know…that I forgive you," she whispered. "I forgive you, and I believe you, and I love you, and I will love you every day for the rest of my life."

Nathan, in the midst of it all, actually began to tear up. He never thought he'd get forgiveness from Haley, but here she was telling him that she forgave him. He closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're amazing," he told her, after opening his eyes again. "You're amazing, and I love you."

She smiled softly, her hand still on his cheek. She lifted her head and kissed him. "Nathan, you're the only man that I've ever let see me like this," she whispered. "And even though you already know, I just want to tell you that…you are the _only _man who will ever get to see me like this." She kissed him again. "Or touch me the way that you do, or make love to me, or…or make me feel like my body is going to explode if I don't have you."

Nathan smiled as she spoke and smirked at the last part. "Well I'm pretty sexy, Haley."

Haley rolled her eyes, smiling widely and smacking his hard chest. "Guess the moment's over," she muttered sarcastically. "Shut the hell up, and kiss me," she demanded.

"I like it when you boss me around," he whispered, causing her cheeks to go red. He smiled at the sight and then complied with her demand, attaching his lips to hers comfortably. He pushed his tongue against hers and ground his erection against her thigh.

Haley felt the hard appendage pulsating against her skin, and she inhaled quickly, unintentionally breaking their kiss. She hadn't felt that in so long and had forgotten how good it was. She closed her eyes briefly, reveling in the feel of his body against hers as he dropped kisses all over her stomach and around her scar. "Nathan, I don't…I don't know if I can wait any longer," she managed to whisper.

He left one last kiss just below her belly button and then moved back up to her face, nodding. "I know, baby," he muttered. "Come here." He leaned down and captured her lips in another sizzling kiss. At the same time, he gently eased his cock into her, almost coming when he heard the loud moan that escaped her throat.

As Nathan pulled himself out of her and then pushed back in again, Haley threw her head back against the pillow. Her arms were wound tightly around his neck, but she moved them down to his back, squeezing the muscles there. "Oh, my God, Nathan. That feels so good," she breathed. Her eyes were closed, and she really didn't think it would be physically possible for her to open them…not with the incredible amount of pleasure coursing through her body right now.

Nathan closed his eyes as well, having similar thoughts. He dropped his head to her neck and opened his mouth, leaving warm and wet kisses all across her flesh. He sucked on her weak spot as he thrust in and out of her depths slowly. The pace was torturous, but it had to be for him to last. She was driving him wild, and he wanted to make her feel as good as she made him feel.

Haley moaned loudly again as he moved his mouth down to her breasts and began to suck on the skin there. A moment later she felt the urge to kiss him again, so she moved one hand to his neck and pulled his head up to hers. She kissed him roughly, beginning to thrust her hips up off of the bed, which enhanced the pleasure for both of them.

"Fuck, Hales," Nathan grunted as his hips met hers. He rested his forehead against hers as they both opened their eyes, and all of a sudden he didn't want to close them anymore. He wanted to look into her eyes as he made love to her for the first time in seven and a half months. He wanted to see the pleasure swirling in her chocolate brown orbs, and he wanted to feel the emotional connection he knew that they shared…that they would always share. He groaned the next time she lifted her hips and pushed his lips onto hers for a quick but passionate kiss.

"Nathan, I need you to go faster," Haley breathed, attempting to speed up the movement of her own hips to get him to follow her order.

He continued to look into her eyes as he shook his head. "We should make it last, Haley."

She shook her head as well, giving him a small smile. "We've got all night, Nathan," she whispered. "You can make love to me however you want, as many times as you want."

If he wanted to last long before, that was all shot to Hell now. The movements of his lower body immediately sped up, and he kissed her again. He ran one hand up her thigh and lifted it up, wrapping her leg around the middle of his back. The changed angle could be felt instantly, and God it felt good.

"Nathan," Haley moaned loudly, desperately trying to hold on as he pounded into her with everything he had.

"Fuck," he groaned again, burying his head in her neck. "Just let go, baby. Come for me," he whispered into her ear.

She did so just a couple of seconds later, screaming his name loudly and praying to God that the hotel walls were soundproof.

Nathan thrust into her once more and felt himself letting go as his seed spilled from his cock and entered her body. His entire weight collapsed on top of her, and he hardly even noticed. A thin layer of sweat covered both of their bodies, and his chest slid against hers when he moved. He left a few kisses on top of her shoulder before lifting some of his weight onto his forearms so he wasn't crushing her.

"You are officially the hottest man in the world," Haley confirmed, still breathing heavily.

Nathan chuckled, leaving several kisses on her chest now. "So, uh…you ready for that bath?" he mumbled, looking up at her and wiggling his eyebrows.

She laughed, rolling her eyes at him. "The water's probably freezing by now. Sorry, buddy." She slapped his cheek playfully.

He scrunched his face up. "Never call me buddy when I'm still inside of you, ready for round two, okay?"

Haley laughed again. "You're so cute, babe," she complimented him with a wide smile.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Also not appropriate," he muttered before climbing off of her completely. He pulled her to the edge of the bed and lifted her into his arms.

"Nathan, what are you doing?" Haley squealed.

"_We _are going to take a bath," Nathan told her in a low voice as they entered the bathroom.

* * *

They'd lost count of how many times they'd made love through the night, but they definitely did that more than they slept. Once they were all worn out, though, they slept for several hours. Nathan didn't wake up until nearly noon, and he decided to wake his fiancée up by kissing her. It didn't take long for her eyes to flutter open, and she smiled at him. He returned the gesture and then spoke. "So I'm curious…does your best friend know that she was only called to town so that we could go to a hotel and fuck all night?"

Haley gasped. "Way to be vulgar," she chided playfully. After all, it was true.

"Yes, I'm the naughty one in this relationship," Nathan replied sarcastically. "Do you not remember what you did last night, Haley James? Because I'm telling you…it was very, _very _vulgar." He smirked.

Her face turned bright red, and she covered it with her hands. "Shut up," she mumbled. Once she'd taken her hands away she looked at him. "You didn't seem to have a problem with the _vulgar _things I was doing last night. You complaining?"

Nathan shook his head, a satisfied smirk still plastered on his face. "Of course not, Hales. I like it when my girl's dirty. It's hot."

Haley scoffed. "I am classy, Mr. Scott."

"Oh, I know you are," he replied. "Blowing me on the edge of the balcony…what's classier than that?"

Haley's mouth dropped open, and her face turned red again as she smacked his stomach as hard as she could. "I guess I know what I'll never be doing again," she muttered.

"Yeah, right," Nathan brushed it off. "We both know you can't resist me," he said as he rolled on top of her, already hard.

Haley smiled, bringing a hand up to stroke his cheek. "Who could resist this face?" she said before bringing his lips down to meet her own.

They were there for about another hour before they both moved into the shower, and once they were done there they headed home. They drove separately since they had come separately and arrived home one right after the other. Although both still wanted more alone time, they were missing Lucy and Jamie like crazy. Neither had been away from them for such a long period of time since they'd come home. Nathan couldn't imagine what it would be like once he started traveling with the team. It was going to be hard; that was for sure.

Nathan and Haley entered the apartment hand in hand and found Brooke seated on the living room couch. James was in her arms, and Lucy was laying in her car seat asleep.

Brooke looked up at the two of them as they entered and smirked. "So how was the sex?"


	27. Epilogue

**Holy crap, I am so fucking sorry! I cannot believe it's been a month. I've been finishing up school and preparing things for next year, but good news! Finals are over. Clearly, this is the end of Swoon, and I am very happy with the way that the story, as a whole, has turned out. Thank you all so much for your reviews and support through each and every chapter, and again I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting for so long. I have two other stories started, and I'll probably take about a week to get ahead with those so that even when I get busy I can update regularly. Thank you so much!**

**The kids' dialogue in this chapter is basically the equivalent of my little sister, who is the same age. Let me know what you think of this!**

* * *

Haley stood back with her camera, snapping photos of the kids as they ran around the backyard. The party was in full swing. Presents had already been opened, and cake had already been passed out, so to say that the kids were on a sugar high would be an understatement. Some of them were jumping around in the bounce house, while others were simply racing around the yard to release some energy. She took a few more pictures and then set her camera down on the table next to her. She leaned her head against the column she was standing next to and crossed her arms over her chest, a large smile on her face as she searched for her own children in the madness. Eventually she spotted Jamie on the top of a pile of kids who appeared to be attacking Lucas. He was laughing hysterically along with all of his friends, and Haley let out a small chortle of her own at the sound.

She was so glad Lucas and Brooke were there. Of course, they had never missed one of Jamie and Lucy's birthday parties, but the twins had grown up a lot in the past year, and their help was more crucial than ever. There were a ton of kids over at the Scott residence today, and they could use all the help they could get.

Lucas and Brooke weren't the only ones who had flown in for the twins' party. Jake and Peyton were there also, as were Haley's parents and Nathan's mom. Apart from Nathan's mom and Haley, all of the adults were in the yard entertaining and playing with the kids. Deb was running back and forth between the kitchen and the refreshment table, making sure that it stayed stocked with all kinds of sugary things that were bad for children.

Her eyes continued to rove over the large yard, and Haley's gracious smile reappeared when she spotted her daughter. Lucy was sitting on top of one of the refreshment tables, making sure to stay incredibly still as her Aunt Brooke painted something onto her cheek. As soon as the masterpiece was complete, though, she shot out of her spot like a rocket and went to join her friends in the bounce house. Haley could see the frustration on Brooke's face and laughed, knowing the face painting was probably ruined now.

She surveyed the scene for a few more minutes, and just as she stood up straight to make her way into the yard, she felt two strong arms slide around her waist. Then her back was pressed into the rigid and strong body of her husband, and she smiled, turning her head on its side against his chest so that she could look at him.

"Hey, baby," Nathan muttered with a smile.

"Hello," Haley purred, turning herself around and wrapping her arms around his neck. She leaned up on her toes to kiss him.

Nathan reciprocated the gesture, slipping his tongue into her mouth for only a second before pulling away. "You did a great job with this party," he told her genuinely. "In fact, you do a great job every year. Lucy and James are having a blast."

Haley smiled. "Thank you. I'm glad that they're having fun. You know they'll probably be up all night though, right? I don't think they've had this much sugar before…ever," she said with a laugh.

Nathan laughed as well. "Well they've got a reason to celebrate, Hales."

She smiled again, and just as she was about to reply she was interrupted.

"Momma."

Haley unwound her arms from Nathan's neck and turned, seeing her small son standing in front of her. "What's up, buddy?"

The little boy smiled sweetly, his blue eyes lighting up in the sun. He brought his two small hands in front of himself and clasped them together tightly. "Can I _please _have another piece of cake?"

Haley subtly turned to Nathan and shook her head, letting him know that Jamie was cut off. She heard her husband chuckle but didn't respond, simply turning back to her son and squatting to his level. "I don't think so, bud. You've already had two pieces. I think that's enough."

Before his mother had even finished speaking, Jamie had turned to his father. He was always the one to cave…never his mom. "Daddy, can I _please _have another piece of cake?" He clasped his hands together again and plastered the most adorable pout on his face.

Nathan glanced at Haley, who was raising her eyebrow at him, no doubt in disbelief. Nathan fought the urge to chuckle again, and instead he bent down and picked James up, holding him against his hip. "You heard your mom, Jamie. You've had enough cake." He saw the boy's lower lip begin to tremble and spoke again. "How about we go practice with your new basketball that Uncle Lucas got for you, huh?"

James's face instantly lit up, and he nodded eagerly. The boy had it bad for basketball, probably worse than his father or his uncle ever did. The only thing he loved more than playing basketball was watching his dad play. They went to every home game, and he always wore his jersey and cheered as loud as he could. "Okay, Daddy," Jamie replied, squirming to get out of his father's arms. Once he was on the ground he ran for his presents. "Let's go!"

Haley rolled her eyes but smiled. "That boy and basketball…I think he's obsessed."

Nathan laughed. "Just a minute, buddy," he called to his son. He turned to face his wife again and took both her hands in his. "Are you okay, baby?"

She nodded, giving both his hands a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, I'm just kind of tired. It's been a long day." She gave him a small smile.

"Okay," he answered skeptically. He gave her a quick kiss and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Haley returned, smiling as well. "Go play," she told him with a small smirk.

He laughed before letting go of her hands and making his way over to his son, who was already taking shots with his new basketball.

Haley descended the porch steps and walked over to the table that Brooke was still standing next to. "How's it going, girlie?" she greeted her best friend.

Brooke turned at the voice and smiled. "This is so much fun!" she exclaimed. "Who knew Lucy was such a little ball of energy, too? She used to be docile."

Haley laughed and nodded. She knew exactly what Brooke was referring to. Lucy had just recently become more active. She used to be girly, but she was moving away from that, too. She usually hung out with her brother and the boys, and surprisingly she kept up with them rather well. She had even taken a liking to basketball. She could be heard cheering almost as loud as her brother at Nathan's games, and she enjoyed practicing with her father, too. "I know," Haley replied to Brooke's comment. "She's definitely changed a lot this past year." Sure enough, when Haley glanced over her shoulder Lucy had joined her father and brother on the basketball court.

"I can't believe they're four already," Brooke said with a shake of her head. "Hell, I can't believe we're twenty-six. We're getting old, Tutor Girl! Before you know it, we'll both be wrinkly and walking around with a cane."

Haley rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I think we've got a while before then, Brookie."

"Still…it's a scary thought."

"Speaking of scary," Haley teased, "how's the wedding planning going?"

"Ha ha," Brooke deadpanned and then smiled. "It is going amazingly well. We're actually thinking about pushing the date up because things are getting done so ahead of schedule."

Haley raised an eyebrow and then nodded. "That's great, Brooke."

As Brooke began diving into the details surrounding her and Lucas's wedding, Haley flashed back to her and Nathan's. It had been just under three years ago, and it had been amazing.

_Haley smiled as she held onto both of Nathan's hands. They were standing in the church in front of all their family and friends, but Haley was sure she wouldn't even notice if everyone left. This was her and Nathan's day, and she felt like they had been waiting forever for it. The way he was looking at her was making her heart beat faster as her excitement grew. _

_Lucas and Brooke were standing on their respective sides, each with a baby in their hands. They were, thankfully, sleeping, and Haley had planned it that way. _

_When it came time for the vows, Haley took a deep breath. She had planned out everything she wanted to say. It had been perfect, but now that the moment had arrived none of that mattered. Reciting a paragraph of rehearsed words wouldn't mean anything, so she decided to just say what was in her heart. It didn't matter if it sounded good or right or planned. It was how she felt, and Nathan deserved to know it all…unrehearsed and raw._

"_Nathan," she started with a smile. "As most of our friends and family know, you were…unexpected. When I was a little girl, I always dreamt about the day that I would meet the man of dreams, fall in love, and get married. Not once did I think about the hard things that I would have to face before this moment. But we have already survived so much together, and I am standing here today because of you. Because I love you…because I want you…because I need you. And I know that with you by my side, I can conquer anything. So I will protect you and love you and cherish you until the end of time. This, I vow today." _

_She and Nathan shared a small smile before he began his own vows. _

"_Haley…for most of my life, I was a pretty bad guy. Everyone knows that. I never have been, nor will I ever be, proud of most of the things I've done in my life. But your beauty and your grace and your kindness have made me into the man that I am today, and loving you is the best decision I've ever made. So I'm never going to stop loving you and protecting you and doing everything in my power to make you happy. You deserve everything good in the world, Haley James, and I will love you until the end of time. This, I vow to you today." _

Haley would always remember their wedding day, and it would always be one of her best days…one of her happiest. It was the day that she and Nathan pledged their eternal love to each other in front of all their friends and family, in front of God, and in front of their children. Haley was so glad that James and Lucy could be a part of their special day. Even though they wouldn't remember it, it meant the world to both of their parents. And Haley realized that if something had happened to one of her babies, it would have been a very different day. Marrying Nathan would still be amazing, but the undertone would be nothing of the sort.

Every time Haley thought about that day, whether it be the vows, their first kiss as man and wife, or their first dance as man and wife, a blissful smile appeared on her face. And when she thought about the two-week honeymoon that followed, she instantly blushed. They'd gone to London. And even though it had been incredibly hard leaving James and Lucy behind, Haley knew that they were safe with her parents, so she eventually let her hair down and gave into the trip. She and Nathan had spent the first few days holed up in their hotel room before Haley insisted that they go out and sightsee. After all, how often is a person in London? It could be their one and only time there, and Haley planned to take advantage of more than just the fancy honeymoon suite.

"Tutor Mom, you're not even listening to me," Brooke began to whine when she finally noticed the look on her best friend's face.

Haley's head turned quickly to look at Brooke. "What? Of course I'm listening to you, Brooke."

Brooke placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? What did I just say?"

"You said…you said…something about the dresses," Haley threw out.

Brooke narrowed her eyes. "Maybe you were listening," she muttered. "Anyways, like I was saying…about the dresses…"

She dove into the topic again, but this time Haley listened intently. She really was interested in Lucas and Brooke's wedding; she was so excited for them. And since they didn't get to see each other that often due to the geographical distance, she needed to take advantage of the time she did have with her friends.

"I beat you, Daddy!" Jamie announced loudly, a proud smile on his chubby face.

Nathan smiled and shook his head. He had lowered the goal on one end of the court so that it was just the right size for Lucy and Jamie. That's the end they always played on, except when they wanted to get on his shoulders so that they could "be tall" and play. "You sure did, buddy," Nathan replied. "You're getting pretty good."

"I am, too, Daddy," Lucy spoke up, stepping closer to them. She'd been watching them for the past few minutes, but now that they were done with their game she was ready to play. "Right?"

Nathan smiled again and nodded towards his daughter. "You bet, princess. You want to play?"

Lucy nodded eagerly.

All three of them played for several minutes before Lucas showed up on the court. "Who wants to be on my team?" he asked loudly.

Lucy and Jamie both raised their hands.

"Hey," Nathan whined.

"Alright, I think Jamie was with me last time," Lucas said. "So I guess it's me and Lucy." He held out his fist to the little girl, and she bumped it.

They were getting ready to play, but Lucy stopped and looked up at Lucas. "Uncle Lucas, how come you got Jamie a basketball and not me?"

Lucas frowned. "Well, I didn't know if you'd want one, sweetie. Plus, Aunt Brooke picked out your presents. I didn't have a say."

"Oh," she replied simply, turning back around.

"Alright, let's play," Nathan said, picking the ball up from the ground.

* * *

"I guess this is the crash they talk about," Nathan whispered with his arms crossed over his chest.

Haley smiled, stifling her giggles. "I think they had fun," she whispered back. "Maybe a little too much, actually."

Lucy and Jamie were both sprawled out on the couch in what looked to be some very uncomfortable positions. As soon as their bottoms had hit the cushions, they were out. It was only seven o'clock, but they were clearly tired. The party was over, and everyone had gone home or to their hotel.

"Should we just leave them there?" Nathan asked, looking at his wife.

She bit her lip, contemplating. It really looked like if they left them in those positions, they would be sore in the morning. "No," she decided. "Let's carry them up to their beds." Walking over to the sofa, Haley reached for her daughter and gently lifted her into her arms and began carrying her up the stairs.

Nathan did the same with James, and each parent carried the children to their respective rooms. They no longer shared. They no longer had to, since they'd moved into their new house in Boston. It was huge, complete with a full basketball court outside and a heated pool inside. The kids loved it, and so did Nathan and Haley.

They met in their bedroom afterwards, and both began getting ready for bed. It was their nightly routine, done in silence every time. They brushed their teeth next to each other at the his and hers sinks in their bathroom, and then they changed. Nathan still slept in his boxers, as he always had, and Haley still slept in one of Nathan's t-shirts. Then they both climbed into bed and turned off their lamps. There was a full moon tonight, and there was enough light shining in through the windows so that they could still see each other. It was barely dark outside anyways, due to the early hour.

Both lay on their sides and inched closer together. When their faces were only inches apart, Haley gave him a small smile. "Today was a good day," she whispered. "I like having you home. I've missed it."

Basketball season had just ended for the Celtics. They had lost to Miami in the Eastern Conference Finals, and even though Nathan was incredibly upset about not making it to the Finals, he couldn't deny that he was glad to be home. He missed hanging out with his three favorite people in the world. "Me, too," he whispered back, still moving his body closer to hers. They were touching now, and he moved one hand to rest on her hip. "I love you. You know that, right?"

She nodded against her pillow, raising one of her hands and pressing her palm against his chest. "I love you, too, Nathan." She leaned forward and captured his lips softly. "It's nice after all this time."

Nathan dragged his hand up her body until he reached her cheek, and he caressed it, staring deeply into her eyes. "It's everything after all this time." He kissed her again, slowly and gently. It lasted for several minutes before he pulled away, still stroking her cheek. "Are you sure you're okay, baby? I know I asked you earlier, but you seemed…off today."

Haley shook her head, brushing it off again. She didn't know if she should tell him or not. She honestly didn't even know if she should see it as being a big deal, but it sure as hell felt like it. And even though Nathan deserved to know and would comfort her, she found herself not wanting to tell him…not wanting to tell a soul.

"Hey," Nathan said softly, placing his fingers under her chin and lifting her face to look at his. "Has anyone ever told you that you're an awful liar, Haley James Scott? Talk to me."

She was still silent, reluctant to give up any information. She knew that Nathan would be supportive and sympathetic to the situation, but a part of her just felt stupid. She felt naïve for even thinking the things that she had…for even looking into it further.

He could see the internal battle she was having with herself, and it was making him nervous. They'd always been able to tell each other things…especially after they got married. Once they were husband and wife, something just sort of snapped in the both of them. They told each other everything, not because they felt obligated to but because they wanted to. They both wanted to share everything with the other…every aspect of their lives. This was the first time since then that one of them was having trouble with this, and after another minute Nathan was flat out worried. "Hales, you're scaring me," he said softly. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

She gave him a watery smile, really trying and failing to make him believe that everything was okay…that nothing had happened. It's what she had been trying to convince herself of these past few days. Clearly, it hadn't worked. As she bit her lip and watched him study her, she realized that lying was pointless. This was her husband, for God's sake. If she couldn't talk to him about this, what did that mean? She took a deep breath. "I went to the doctor the other day," she finally whispered.

Nathan's senses immediately went into overdrive, and he shot up from his spot on the bed. His eyes were wide as he watched her sit up against the headboard next to him. He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm sorry. Um…w-why? What's wrong?"

Haley shook her head, realizing how that must've sounded. "Sorry, I…I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm fine, Nathan, really. Nothing…nothing's wrong. Not like that, anyways."

"Jesus, Hales," Nathan breathed. He moved his hand from her thigh and reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. "What is it, then?"

Haley sat up farther, crossing her legs to sit Indian style and turning to face her husband. She never let her hand leave his, and she found herself involuntarily squeezing it as she took a deep breath in preparation. "I thought I was pregnant," she revealed. Her voice was stronger than she anticipated, and she was thankful. Maybe this conversation wouldn't be as hard as she'd originally thought.

Nathan was shocked, to say the least. "Wow, um…I…I thought you couldn't get pregnant again."

She shook her head, bringing her free hand up to rest on his bare knee. "I can't. That hasn't changed. But I thought…I was really late, and I got scared."

"So you're not?" he questioned hesitantly. He could see how stressed out she was about this, and he didn't want to make it any worse, but he needed to know.

Haley shook her head for a second time. "I'm not," she confirmed.

Nathan stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Hales, why are you just now telling me this? You could have told me before. I would have gone with you."

"I know," she replied quietly. "I know you would have, but I didn't want you to get your hopes up. Mine already were, and I was trying really hard not to let them stay there." She bit her lip and shook her head as her eyes slowly filled with tears. She was honestly surprised that they hadn't arrived sooner. "But the even bigger part of me was scared and just praying that I wasn't pregnant again because I don't want to go through what I went through the last time. You know that I don't regret a second of it, but it was hard. We struggled to get through that, Nathan, and I don't ever want us to be in that place again. I love our life together with Lucy and Jamie."

Nathan pulled his hand away from hers and began to rid her cheeks of their dampness using the pad of his thumb. "You're feeling guilty about all of this, aren't you?" he asked quietly. He could see it in her eyes.

God, he knew her so well. It scared her sometimes, but right now she was comforted because it kept her from having to say the things that she found most difficult to voice. Biting her lip again, she nodded. "I don't want to, but I can't help it," she whispered. "I mean, I'm a mom. And I've always wanted to have a big family. Anticipating a pregnancy shouldn't be frightening and nerve-wracking. I should have been elated."

"Not with what you've been through, Haley," Nathan said quickly, stopping her from continuing. "You have nothing to feel guilty about. Our family is perfect, and you're an amazing wife and mother. I honestly don't know how you do it all, but I admire you so much for it. You're incredible, baby."

Haley looked down at her fidgeting hands. "You're honestly okay with it just being the four of us…forever?" she asked quietly.

Nathan raised her head to look at him and gave her a small smile. "I am more than okay with that, Hales. I think the real question is, are you?"

She nodded her head without hesitation. "I honestly am," she replied. "I'm just…it's always going to be there in the back of my mind, you know? What we went through and how that changed me…how it changed _us._"

"It did," Nathan agreed with a nod. "And I know it's still with you because it's still with me, too. It always will be." He paused and gave her a small smile, taking her hand again. "It's part of our story, baby. There's no changing that."

Haley nodded once again and managed a small smile. "I know," she responded quietly. "This whole pregnancy thing just kind of freaked me out."

Nathan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. "I wish you would have told me," he whispered into her hair. "I hate not being there for you."

"I know you do," Haley replied as she looked into her husband's eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You sure you're okay?" he double-checked.

Haley smiled and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his lips as they held each other. "I'm perfect."

* * *

The next morning, Haley woke up slowly and smiled as she realized that she was still wrapped up in her husband's strong arms. God, she had missed waking up with him. When he traveled with the team and it was just her and the kids, they all missed him like crazy. Haley hated sleeping by herself, and usually when Nathan was gone her two babies would crawl into bed with her and fall asleep in their parents' room.

She glanced at Nathan and noticed that he was still fast asleep, and then she turned towards the clock. It was only six o'clock. Why the hell was she awake at six o'clock in the morning on a Sunday? And that's when she heard it again…the same noise that had initially woken her. Their bedroom door was open, and she could see Lucy and Jamie standing in the hallway, whispering to one another. It seemed as if they were deciding whether or not they should wake their parents. Haley already knew what their decision would be; it was the same every Sunday morning. Those were the mornings of their big family breakfasts, and since they had fallen asleep early after their party of course they were up at six o'clock.

Haley sat up slightly, careful not to rouse her husband, and watched her children. It was amusing, really. Finally, after a few more minutes, the two tip-toed into the room. Only when they had reached the end of their parents' bed did they realize that their mother was wide awake and watching them.

Lucy and Jamie stopped dead in their tracks. Jamie's eyes were wide as they both tried not to laugh at the failure of their weekly operation.

"Hi, Momma," Jamie eventually whispered, still acutely aware of the fact that his father was asleep.

Haley continued to smile as they tip-toed over to her side of the bed. Their mattress was high, and it usually took them a while to climb up, so she carefully maneuvered out of Nathan's embrace to help them. "Good morning," she replied in a whisper.

Lucy sat in her mother's lap and allowed a small giggle to escape her throat. "Can we get Daddy?" she whispered.

"Yeah, can we get Daddy?" Jamie echoed.

Haley bit her lip to keep from laughing. So their usual tactics hadn't been completely given up on. "Go ahead," she said with a nod, scooting to the edge of the bed.

Not a second later, Lucy and Jamie had both sprung up from their places on the bed and jumped on top of Nathan.

Haley watched Nathan jump when they landed on him, and she couldn't help but to laugh along with her children. Usually she was being scared, too, and it was nice to simply be a spectator this Sunday.

Nathan screamed as he sat up and began tickling both of his children relentlessly. He laughed along with them as they both began to giggle uncontrollably. "You think that's funny, huh?"

Jamie and Lucy both nodded, trying and failing to stifle their laughter. "Daddy, stop!" Jamie yelled.

Nathan raised an eyebrow, but a couple of minutes later he stopped, finally noticing that he was the only one under attack. He glanced at his wife, who was smiling radiantly, and then looked at his son and daughter. "Let's get Mommy," he whispered.

Haley stopped smiling and shook her head. "Nathan, no. Don't you dare."

"It's only fair, Hales," Nathan replied, smirking when both Lucy and Jamie jumped onto the other side of the bed and began tickling her. Nathan joined them a moment later, smiling at the sound of his wife's laughter. He had missed it while he was away. "Alright, alright," Nathan said a moment later. "Who wants breakfast?"

Lucy and Jamie both stopped and jumped off of the bed, both incredibly hungry and eager to eat. "Can I have blueberry pancakes?" Jamie inquired.

"Can I have chocolate chip?" Lucy added.

"Yes," Nathan answered. "Go get in your seats downstairs, and Mommy and I will be down in a sec."

He didn't have to say it twice. Lucy and Jamie raced out of the room, and both of their parents could hear their bare feet as they padded down the hardwood floors of the hallway.

When Nathan looked back at his wife, she was narrowing her eyes at him. "You just couldn't resist, could you?"

Nathan chuckled before covering her body with his. "Well it's hardly fair that I got woken up so violently, and you didn't," he countered.

Haley continued to glare at him. "Whatever," she muttered teasingly.

Nathan leaned his head down to her neck and began trailing kisses along the creamy flesh there. "I'm sorry," he murmured against her skin. "You're just too sexy."

She raised an eyebrow, subconsciously moving her head to the side to allow him better access to her neck. She could never control the feelings he evoked in her. "What does that have to do with anything?" she replied breathily.

Nathan pulled his head up to look at her as he smirked. "It has everything to do with everything."

Haley blushed as she looked up at him, and then she smiled softly. "Come here," she whispered, placing a hand behind his head. She brought his lips to hers and kissed him roughly, pushing her tongue into his mouth.

Nathan moaned into the kiss, pushing his tongue forward to collide with hers. One of his hands trailed down her body to the hem of his t-shirt she was wearing, and he pushed it up, allowing his hand to cup her bra-clad chest.

His wife moaned loudly, grinding her lower half against him. Only when he reached for her underwear did she remember that their children were waiting for their breakfast downstairs. She reluctantly broke the kiss and pushed him off of her.

"Hales," Nathan groaned. "What the hell?"

Haley smirked as she stood up and walked over to her dresser. She pulled out a pair of plaid pajama pants and pulled them on. "Sorry, babe," she replied. "We've got hungry kids downstairs." She walked to the door and turned around. "You coming?"

Nathan sat up and released a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, I'm…I'll be right there. I just need a second."

She couldn't help but laugh. It was clear that he needed a second. Instead of responding, she turned and left, going downstairs to begin preparing their breakfast.

Nathan joined her a few minutes later, and he began to help his wife cook as Jamie and Lucy watched the television that was set up in the kitchen.

Haley turned to face him as he stood at the stove. She glanced over at the dining room table to make sure the kids weren't paying attention to them before stepping closer to her husband. She trailed her hand down his abs and then cupped him through the shorts that he had thrown on over his boxers. "You doing okay, baby?" she asked playfully, a smirk tugging at her lips.

Nathan, despite himself, released a small groan and closed his eyes. "Hales, are you trying to scar our children for life?"

She giggled and shook her head, pulling her hand away from him. "I couldn't help myself. You know, kind of like you couldn't help yourself when you were tickling me this morning." She raised an eyebrow and watched him smile in response to her words. "We'll pick this up later." She sent him a wink and then stepped away.

God, she was sexy. Nathan smirked as he watched her resume cooking. "You bet your sexy ass we will," he murmured.

They finished making breakfast together, and then they sat at the table with Lucy and Jamie. They all ate together. For the first half of the meal, Lucy and Jamie's eyes were still glued to the television. When Haley noticed, she turned it off, and after a moment of whining they began to actually converse. And once the kids got going, they didn't stop.

Haley left and cleared the table when everyone was done, and as her husband and children continued to talk she rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

The day was spent together…just the four of them. They went to the park and got ice cream in the afternoon and then went home and watched a movie together. While Haley made dinner, Lucy and the boys went outside to play basketball. They all ate together once again, and then the kids were bathed and put to bed right on time. They had their routine down pat.

Nathan went back outside once Lucy and Jamie were in bed and shot for a while. When he came in he was all sweaty, and his shirt was sticking to him. He walked into his and Haley's bedroom, quickly pulling the garment over his head and tossing it onto the floor.

Haley looked up from her book when he walked in, and when he threw his shirt on the floor she removed her glasses. "Really? The hamper is four feet away."

Nathan looked up and smirked. They went through this every day. "Sorry, baby." He bent down and picked up his shirt, tossing it into the hamper where it belonged.

As he bent over, Haley's eyes lingered on his butt, and she bit her lip. She stood, placing both her glasses and her closed book down on the nightstand. She sauntered over to her husband and continued to chew on her lower lip as she reached him. "You need a shower," she whispered. A sultry smile accompanied her words.

His smirk widened at her words. "You think so?" he flirted.

Haley nodded slowly, pushing her body against his. She wrapped one arm around his shoulder and squeezed his butt with the other hand. "Maybe I should join you," she suggested lowly. They had never gotten to finish what they had started that morning, and each of them was itching to be with the other. Now, seeing her sweaty, shirtless husband, Haley couldn't help herself.

Nathan released a small groan at her words, not able to help himself. He brought his hands up to her hips and ran his thumbs over the skin left exposed by her tank top. "My girl's dirty," he muttered.

Haley smiled and began slowly backing away from him. She held her hand out and smirked when he immediately reached for it. This hold allowed her to pull him across the room and into their bathroom. "Well, this is where it all started, baby."


End file.
